Raw-Material versus love yal
Options
raw-material_ahh
Members Posts: 555 ✭
RULES:
16 lines.
Explained votes.
5 votes to win or 3-0 KO.
50 posts to vote.
Do you want to come up with a verse due date? Due by midnight tomorrow night eastern time? It's whatever.
16 lines.
Explained votes.
5 votes to win or 3-0 KO.
50 posts to vote.
Do you want to come up with a verse due date? Due by midnight tomorrow night eastern time? It's whatever.
Comments
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alright due by tomorrow midnight....
Check in.. -
Thanks for making the thread and the battle, Good luck... dropping soon...
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What verse you dropping is probly bird drop
You say you hard, you softer then Marshmellow man of two
This is not Cavaliers vs Nets, still win what rhymes with jets, still schooling you
Didn't have time to drop my best verse, but still give you a free knock out like Kumo
You couldn't come with better lines, even if they name you poetry
You try your best to be Alice Walker, I smash you like Wordworth history
Audi vs Bmw what you going to do if got prosocial antisocial behavior, love skool
Fired from his rap, social exchange couldn't come raw, If I wrote his matrieal like prejudice group
You too focus as ethnocentrism how you individuating style as racial groups
Street figher vs. Killer Instinct equals Mortal Kombat 10 densensitization into pieces of two
Hummer 2012 rims spinning throw you around like ? rag , get seizures epilepsy
Waiting for your verse, it stinks worst than a skunk hiding behind a bush
Dell vs Accer you think you too machine how you try to hack through computers
No surveillance you are too love with your blues, spaced review, cognitive imagery
Wish I took time to write, Raw-material, winning like Lakers last year, I wasn't too responsibilty.. -
Yo. I will drop tonight before the deadline. Just getting online to say I'm a little busy, something's come up, but I should be able to get it down before midnight.
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My words are weapons but more precise with laser sight to "end" him with the "dot", "period"/
NO ? but this is the result of him "going to Got Beef to get beat," I'm straight and he got curious/~2
Instead ima "end his life" and spit on his computer since he stepped in my house, Lyrical Executions/
Stay freestyling in the poetry forum, "? with babies" tryin ta mess with cupid/~4
I'd rather be in my livingroom watching TV, flipping through channels/
But I'm stuck in here "lighting you up" with these "lines" like this is two candles/~6
Im a text ? with an electrical aura that attracts NOISE, put the hands on you and "shock you to death"/
Cuz I'm stimulating his Nervous System and robbed his crystal stock like I'm "? "/~8
You get rocked on the set! I'm putting a show on for my people cuz I love y'all but I hate you/
This excites me! I get "ahead of the beat battling you" when my punches push your heart straight through/~10
This dude is confused, your tournament verse didn't make sense so ima beast on him/
Cuz when you battled tupacfan, you-got-laughed at tryna "beat" a chic/~12
I've seen so many misses, strike one against her but two with me cuz I'm in the ZONE/
Catch from a canon cuz I'm "throwing heat at this guy" like Zeus striking his home/~14
Recognize you're battling a top dawg, 3-headed Hellbound guardian of LE, I only let the hotness through/
This runt's punches don't blast and "can't find the heat the compete" like he was kicked out of Firefighter School/~16 -
wow that raw material verse was wack.i expected a lot more but if i was voting i would give him the easy win but im not voting
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thedesolateone wrote: »wow that raw material verse was wack.i expected a lot more but if i was voting i would give him the easy win but im not voting
You are losing it man. -
raw-material_ahh wrote: »You are losing it man.
no im not. im sure alot of people will agree your verse was weak.firefighter school? lmao
you was lucky love yal cant speak english well or you would of been roasted -
thedesolateone wrote: »no im not. im sure alot of people will agree your verse was weak.firefighter school? lmao
you was lucky love yal cant speak english well or you would of been roasted
The last person I've seen on tilt as bad as you is "its over: 2012!" but that is fine. If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks. -
raw-material_ahh wrote: »The last person I've seen on tilt as bad as you is "its over: 2012!" but that is fine. If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks.
im not on tilt your verse was wack you will see after people judge.im serious i expected more i like the three-headed guardian line though and the shock you to death line was ok but spit on his computer? really?*blinks eyes twice* -
thedesolateone wrote: »im not on tilt your verse was wack you will see after people judge.im serious i expected more i like the three-headed guardian line though and the shock you to death line was ok but spit on his computer? really?*blinks eyes twice*
When I said you were on tilt, I didn't mean BC you think my verse was wack. Did you read the part where I said, "If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks."? Anyway, that's fine if you think so. Again, that is your criticism. I welcome criticism. It's all good. Whatever happens happens. -
raw-material_ahh wrote: »When I said you were on tilt, I didn't mean BC you think my verse was wack. Did you read the part where I said, "If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks."? Anyway, that's fine if you think so. Again, that is your criticism. I welcome criticism. It's all good. Whatever happens happens.
well your welcome and you take criticism very well -
actually love yal may win he or she has a few hot lines im interested how this may turn out
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raw-material_ahh wrote: »My words are weapons but more precise with laser sight to "end" him with the "dot", "period"/
NO ? but this is the result of him "going to Got Beef to get beat," I'm straight and he got curious/~2
Instead ima "end his life" and spit on his computer since he stepped in my house, Lyrical Executions/
Stay freestyling in the poetry forum, "? with babies" tryin ta mess with cupid/~4
I'd rather be in my livingroom watching TV, flipping through channels/
But I'm stuck in here "lighting you up" with these "lines" like this is two candles/~6
Im a text ? with an electrical aura that attracts NOISE, put the hands on you and "shock you to death"/
Cuz I'm stimulating his Nervous System and robbed his crystal stock like I'm "? "/~8
You get rocked on the set! I'm putting a show on for my people cuz I love y'all but I hate you/
This excites me! I get "ahead of the beat battling you" when my punches push your heart straight through/~10
This dude is confused, your tournament verse didn't make sense so ima beast on him/
Cuz when you battled tupacfan, you-got-laughed at tryna "beat" a chic/~12
I've seen so many misses, strike one against her but two with me cuz I'm in the ZONE/
Catch from a canon cuz I'm "throwing heat at this guy" like Zeus striking his home/~14
Recognize you're battling a top dawg, 3-headed Hellbound guardian of LE, I only let the hotness through/
This runt's punches don't blast and "can't find the heat the compete" like he was kicked out of Firefighter School/~16
I didn't want to edit my verse since both verses are already posted but I've noticed a typo so I'll quote myself instead.
MINOR EDIT.
Recognize you're battling a top dawg, 3-headed Hellbound guardian of LE, I only let the hotness through/
This runt's punches don't blast and "can't find the heat to compete" like he was kicked out of Firefighter School/~16 -
Nice verse, Good match..
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Thanks for some of the comments, what's wrong with my engish?thedesolateone wrote: »no im not. im sure alot of people will agree your verse was weak.firefighter school? lmao
you was lucky love yal cant speak english well or you would of been roasted -
Thanks for the comments...no offense I'm keep working on my english...get better on future battles..
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Thanks for the comments...no offense I'm keep working on my english...get better on future battles..
its just obvious english isnt your first language:You say you hard, you softer then Marshmellow man of two
i think you wanted to say you softer than two marshmellow men
:Fired from his rap, social exchange couldn't come raw, If I wrote his matrieal like prejudice group-this is line a very strong line i know what you mean it just will sounds strange to a person who speaks american english -
I had trouble last night geting online, I need to correct a word calvier to cavalier, I did it couple of hours ago, I know its past due date. are we aloud to correct our verses before the voting? Sorry I'm not trying to cheat.
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I see what you mean, I'm kind new in battling, but I'm willing to learn more, thanks if my english is the not best, but I try not to rush plus I had online problems, so I key verse early fast as I can, and didn't mean to edit a word today, I know its due date. Both verses are interesting..are you voting?thedesolateone wrote: »its just obvious english isnt your first language:You say you hard, you softer then Marshmellow man of two
i think you wanted to say you softer than two marshmellow men
:Fired from his rap, social exchange couldn't come raw, If I wrote his matrieal like prejudice group-this is line a very strong line i know what you mean it just will sounds strange to a person who speaks american english -
Okay, I thought this battle was interesting..
I felt like love yal had a subliminal diss for me too.. Where he mentioned poetry. Cause I know I'm the only folk in here that writes, read, and perfom spoken word.. Its all good though, I just wanted to point that out before I cast my vote..
I honestly didn't understand or grasped love yal's verse.. I feel you need more structure in terms of conveying the diss, stick to one metaphor and ride that out.. You's all over the place.. I'm sorry but I'm being honest and likely blaunt with it.. You do have the potential to improve though, you really do.. U have the vocabs, you just need to play with it and make sense of it.. also, you need to go extra harder, cause your verse is lightweight... Take this as constructive feedback.. And much props for stepping in the battle zone with raw..
With that said my vote is for Raw AHH Material..
Why?
Because his verse was far wayyy more understandable, and he had punches, I didn't really see any multi's but his jawn still hit hard.. I wish could quote some verse but uhhh I'm on my smart phone.. -
Thanks for reading and voting, a harder punchline is. I'm cool like frozen ice my bars will freeze you ice cube freezer...how's that, I'm trying to forget about rhyming and just go with the flow like you said like you said stick with one metaphor..Okay, I thought this battle was interesting..
I felt like love yal had a subliminal diss for me too.. Where he mentioned poetry. Cause I know I'm the only folk in here that writes, read, and perfom spoken word.. Its all good though, I just wanted to point that out before I cast my vote..
I honestly didn't understand or grasped love yal's verse.. I feel you need more structure in terms of conveying the diss, stick to one metaphor and ride that out.. You's all over the place.. I'm sorry but I'm being honest and likely blaunt with it.. You do have the potential to improve though, you really do.. U have the vocabs, you just need to play with it and make sense of it.. also, you need to go extra harder, cause your verse is lightweight... Take this as constructive feedback.. And much props for stepping in the battle zone with raw..
With that said my vote is for Raw AHH Material..
Why?
Because his verse was far wayyy more understandable, and he had punches, I didn't really see any multi's but his jawn still hit hard.. I wish could quote some verse but uhhh I'm on my smart phone.. -
Thanks for voting, Raw did good...you notice I don't curse, not trying to be wack..I'm trying to rap politely so I can sound nice and clean. But so when diss him should I talk about myself like I'm the best, you can't get nice, I'm just better than you...like that...I'm tried to diss him, I guess throw him some jokes, what type of lines will grab people attention?raw u went soft on him
coulda played off his name more
none the less u did take this easily
you're multis' punches structure metas similes
basically every category, u outshined his ass
love yall u needa work on better structure, longer multis, and better insults.
u didnt really insult him that bad
vote to raw -
I'm not trying to pick on you again, what do you mean he or she?thedesolateone wrote: »actually love yal may win he or she has a few hot lines im interested how this may turn out
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I'm not trying to pick on you again, what do you mean he or she?
just not sure of your gender are you a he or she or other.i assume you are ? christian male but this is the internet so i could be wrong
This discussion has been closed.