UNhappy Husbands, are they just weak and/or pushovers?

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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life....
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  • The BAPHOMET
    The BAPHOMET Members Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    chicitylepio wrote: »
    nice try but nope.
    If u like my AVI fam, say so

    really?.......

    I was more of getting at the fact that you prolly choose your mate unwisely
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  • black caesar
    black caesar Members Posts: 12,036 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    I don't believe in marriage but it's good to hear someone who made it for 11 years. You don't have to be married to be with a special lady....
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  • The BAPHOMET
    The BAPHOMET Members Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    dusouljah wrote: »
    find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life....

    does that apply to women too, or did that go without saying?...........rhetorical question
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  • DarcSkies
    DarcSkies Members Posts: 13,791 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    dusouljah wrote: »
    ? stay beating around the bush, trying to figure out the right way to say ? , instead of just saying it..
    BINGO....

    ? create problems trying to keep the peace by lying to her ass. May as well have a fight based on truth than have peace based on a lie...cuz that peace is short lived my friend.

    Plus ppl need to realize its not your mate's job to make you happy. Its just their job to not make you miserable. There is a difference. IF you looking for somebody to make you happy chances are you not a happy person to begin with. Look for somebody that doesnt cause you problems and makes living a bit easier. But somebody that makes you happy? That's your job. Get a hobby ? .

    I dont feel sorry for people in miserable relationships. Being in an abusive relationship, a toxic relationship, a dead-end marriage, a financial ruin inducing relationship, a sexless relationship, etc etc etc is nothing but a CHOICE. Plain and simple.
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  • powerman 5000
    powerman 5000 Members Posts: 3,084 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    Louis Cipher wrote: »
    simple: choosing the wrong mate and all the drama that goes with it can ruin your life....mentally, physically, and financially...


    For me it's this right here and the odds of finding that great supporting mate ain't in your favor. I'm not big on the trust thing either nor am I big on discussing anything. So frankly marriage ain't for everybody and the more dudes that see and acknowledge this, the fewer unhappy husbands there will be.
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  • 1of1
    1of1 Members Posts: 37,468 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    I ain't readin' this shet but eh....F R E Epost
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  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    Louis Cipher wrote: »
    you looking at it wrong fam...EVERYBODY has to be dealt with in some manner...you have to deal with people at work, you have to learn how to deal with the cashier at walmart, your doctor, your kids....why wouldnt you have to deal with someone you are sharing your life with?

    exactly.

    which is why my HOME should be the one place i can find peace and not have to play relationship politics with some broad
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  • The BAPHOMET
    The BAPHOMET Members Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    caddo man wrote: »
    I would say pushover. But that is even still a hard idea to stick with. My wife is hard as hell to deal with but I have started to take cues from My mother in law. We are unlike in some crazy ways. We both hate when my wife goes into her "I told you so" rants. We both are procrastinators. The differences are my mother in law goes ? for tat with my wife. I dont do that. But my mother in law also make sure she knows when wifey is over stepping her boundary. I have taken note and made sure wifey is told when she has step over into my boundaries. But you do that when you love that person. You take a little more ? but you are let them know. Dont press my buttons.

    thats something that can be conquered in a matter of days

    and obvisously she gets it from her momma, learn to break the momma down first and your wife will be nothing
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  • Louis Cipher
    Louis Cipher Members Posts: 4,020 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    Darxwell wrote: »
    BINGO....

    ? create problems trying to keep the peace by lying to her ass. May as well have a fight based on truth than have peace based on a lie...cuz that peace is short lived my friend.

    Plus ppl need to realize its not your mate's job to make you happy. Its just their job to not make you miserable. There is a difference. IF you looking for somebody to make you happy chances are you not a happy person to begin with. Look for somebody that doesnt cause you problems and makes living a bit easier. But somebody that makes you happy? That's your job. Get a hobby ? .

    I dont feel sorry for people in miserable relationships. Being in an abusive relationship, a toxic relationship, a dead-end marriage, a financial ruin inducing relationship, a sexless relationship, etc etc etc is nothing but a CHOICE. Plain and simple.

    to bad you cant get rep points on this site...best post of the thread right here
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  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    dusouljah wrote: »
    find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life....

    Thats one of those sayings that sounds great, but really doesnt mean ? .

    There are plenty of people that love their jobs but would rather stay in bed some days.
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  • The BAPHOMET
    The BAPHOMET Members Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    powerman 5000 wrote: »
    For me it's this right here and the odds of finding that great supporting mate ain't in your favor. I'm not big on the trust thing either nor am I big on discussing anything. So frankly marriage ain't for everybody and the more dudes that see and acknowledge this, the fewer unhappy husbands there will be.

    but you open your heart and rumble off to a bunch of strange men on a message board, ummmm............

    naw, all jokes aside, think about treating the women you would get into a relationship as you would your homeboys

    that alone will open many barriers of communication between you and her
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  • caddo man
    caddo man Members Posts: 22,476 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    ES-BEE wrote: »
    thats something that can be conquered in a matter of days

    and obvisously she gets it from her momma, learn to break the momma down first and your wife will be nothing

    I knew all this before I got married. And I have taken cues from her momma. But I dont want a chick that I can run over. I want a chick that can hang with me and not be a pushover. My wife is not with no crying on her shoulder stuff. When I am on my game. Wifey is loving me. When I ? up she is hard to deal with. I just stay on my game.
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  • Louis Cipher
    Louis Cipher Members Posts: 4,020 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    American.Loo wrote: »
    exactly.

    which is why my HOME should be the one place i can find peace and not have to play relationship politics with some broad

    bruh...whether you get married or commit your life to baby-mamaism, youre gonna have to deal with broads in some form or fashion...im not saying you have to cave into some woman to find peace...what i am sayin is that you learn her ends and outs...her PERSONALITY...to get what you BOTH want out of life
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  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    Louis Cipher wrote: »
    bruh...whether you get married or commit your life to baby-mamaism, youre gonna have to deal with broads in some form or fashion...im not saying you have to cave into some woman to find peace...what i am sayin is that you learn her ends and outs...her PERSONALITY...to get what you BOTH want out of life

    i hear you, and i def respect your stance.

    i just think its time that people are allowed to live the way they choose to without judgement. it really would result in less divorce, murder and stress.

    basically i know ME: there's a certain amount of space I need in order to be happy. the type of space i need isnt conducive to a marriage. am i the only one like that? no. but ? dont know THEMSELVES well enough to speak on it.
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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    American.Loo wrote: »
    i hear you, and i def respect your stance.

    i just think its time that people are allowed to live the way they choose to without judgement. it really would result in less divorce, murder and stress.

    basically i know ME: there's a certain amount of space I need in order to be happy. the type of space i need isnt conducive to a marriage. am i the only one like that? no. but ? dont know THEMSELVES well enough to speak on it.

    if you have the ability to effectively communicate that....that ? would be abel to weed out most if not all problems...
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  • gorilla
    gorilla Members Posts: 1,889 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    American.Loo wrote: »
    Es-Bee: and i agree bruh. anyone can be dealt with.

    But personally, i dont want to live with someone that i feel needs to be dealt with.

    Once I have to work a certain way to handle you, the relationship becomes a job.

    And i already have a job.

    C/S

    A huge turn off for me is when a chick goes "I need a man who can handle me" right then I stop listenin. To me that means you're trouble plain and simple

    I got 3 daughters, what the hell I wanna "handle" a grown ass woman for? She should be able to act right on her own
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  • The BAPHOMET
    The BAPHOMET Members Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    American.Loo wrote: »
    i hear you, and i def respect your stance.

    i just think its time that people are allowed to live the way they choose to without judgement. it really would result in less divorce, murder and stress.

    basically i know ME: there's a certain amount of space I need in order to be happy. the type of space i need isnt conducive to a marriage. am i the only one like that? no. but ? dont know THEMSELVES well enough to speak on it.

    I wouldn't encourage you to do otherwise of what you believe

    but finding someone and growing old with that person can be great and I urge those who haven't to do so

    as far as space Loo I don't want you to think your alone, most if not all men may feel that way every once in awhile

    thats why we as men have to build ourselves, what I like to call, male-rooms

    wheter it be the attic, garage w/apartment ontop, or basement, most men I know that I'm cool with, I find complaind little to none about their mate, have one- a male room

    me I got a basement with all the fixings; fridge, stereo, big screen tv, cable, studio equipment, and etc........gotta build to suit your needs
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Legend in Two Sports Posts: 8,496 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    Louis Cipher wrote: »
    you on some cromagnon man ? right here...but i get what you saying...you have to be a MAN first and foremost...do that and she will get in line or she wont be with you in she cant handle it...

    but do realize that this isnt the 60s anymore bruh...broads have $$$ and options now...all that strong-arm ? not gonna work these days


    women can have all the money and options they want fam .... if money is the motive she can beat if first of all .. second of all if she falls for a ? like me her options become my options ..

    i'm not tolerating the ? society throws out there ... its my way or my way ... she gon wanna be with me off the strength that i'm ME and at the moment she choses to make that move everything will fall right in line ..

    i'm not switching up ? and to tell u the truth women love it .. to be in the graces of a ? who knows detail for detail how he wants ? done is what they like ..


    dont no women want a wack ass ? thats always coming to her for direction and opinion .. they like falling in line to be honest .. but if u lame u can forget trying to ACT because they'll eventually see thru it .. just be u and believe in u .
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  • The BAPHOMET
    The BAPHOMET Members Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    gorilla wrote: »
    C/S

    A huge turn off for me is when a chick goes "I need a man who can handle me" right then I stop listenin. To me that means you're trouble plain and simple

    I got 3 daughters, what the hell I wanna "handle" a grown ass woman for? She should be able to act right on her own

    see thats what I'm saying, thats what we should be doing, determining that before we shack up and act like this behavior is some new ? when she was showing signs of bitchyness you knew you couldn't deal with when first meeting her

    ? always make the mistake of putting up becuz the chick is putting out
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  • King Erauno
    King Erauno Members Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    BoYBe$T wrote: »
    women can have all the money and options they want fam .... if money is the motive she can beat if first of all .. second of all if she falls for a ? like me her options become my options ..

    i'm not tolerating the ? society throws out there ... its my way or my way ... she gon wanna be with me off the strength that i'm ME and at the moment she choses to make that move everything will fall right in line ..

    i'm not switching up ? and to tell u the truth women love it .. to be in the graces of a ? who knows detail for detail how he wants ? done is what they like ..


    dont no women want a wack ass ? thats always coming to her for direction and opinion .. they like falling in line to be honest .. but if u lame u can forget trying to ACT because they'll eventually see thru it .. just be u and believe in u .


    true ? ...in other words...be a man.
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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    the ironic thing about marriages is that both parties want the vaugely the same goal...
    they want the mrriage to work, they both want to be happy wit themselves and eachother...

    now if they both understood that, and knew how to communicate and work together towards that goal...? would be a whole lot better out here...


    ? get so frustrated they start believing in their minds that some how this is not the case, ? be truly believe their wives don't want them to be happy...

    there's no accountability...whenever something is not going your way your first reaction shouldn't be to blame someone else....
    and that's what mad dusbands do..

    "aww ? my marriage is unhappy and ? up......uhhh..uhhh...IT'S HER FAULT!!...SHE doesn't want ME to be happy!! SHE'S trying to destroy me!!! SHE doesn't want this to work!!"

    if dudes could just fall back and take an honest look at themselves, and see what they have been doing to make the relationship work,..what efforts they have been makinh to communicate their issues with the marriage..

    just as much as we can't reada women's mind, they cant read our either.....communication is a two way street, you absoltely have to be able to talk to your wife about how you're feeling about anything ESPECIALLY your marriage and relationship to her...

    i mean i hate to say thngs in hindsight....

    but if you're like 3-5 years in and JUST realizing you can't effectively communicate with your wife, or you don't know how to talk with her about things you're unhappy about....you ? up from the start....? shoulda never got that far to begin with....


    i honestly believe communication is 100% of the reason that marriages fail
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Legend in Two Sports Posts: 8,496 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    kai_valya wrote: »
    there's this show i watch (i think it's a canadian show) that's called newly wed nearly dead. it's about newlywed couples that are already at each others throats. a common theme i've seen throughout many of the episodes, is that the husband is some meek, brow-beaten sap and the wife is a raving ? to put it nicely. in one of them the husband, who has a learning disability (dyslexia i think) was constantly being called stupid, dumb, idiot by his wife. she was just so mean to him. problems like that had to be present be4 the i dos, i really don't know how or why anyone would marry someone that is mean to them like that. with that being said, i think a lot of people, not just husbands tend to feel like they're trapped once they get into a marriage. and if the other person feels like they have u trapped that gives them tremendous leeway to treat you however the hell they want

    i think if you truly love someone, you want there happiness, and being unkind to them or making their life difficult is the last thing u should want to do. that's why proper communication is so vital imo. no one is perfect and esp if you live with someone sooner or later they will irritate or upset you, but these should not be frequent occurrences. i've been married for 4 years and with my hubby for almost 7, and i can count the # of times in all those years that we've had a real fight. making him unhappy thru my actions or treatment of him is the last thing i would want to do.

    I like the way u basically posted that u enjoy letting ya man take the lead and be him in such a intellectual manner .... cosign
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  • ptnutz
    ptnutz Members Posts: 1,717 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2011
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    Darxwell wrote: »
    BINGO....

    ? create problems trying to keep the peace by lying to her ass. May as well have a fight based on truth than have peace based on a lie...cuz that peace is short lived my friend.

    Plus ppl need to realize its not your mate's job to make you happy. Its just their job to not make you miserable. There is a difference. IF you looking for somebody to make you happy chances are you not a happy person to begin with. Look for somebody that doesnt cause you problems and makes living a bit easier. But somebody that makes you happy? That's your job. Get a hobby ? .

    I dont feel sorry for people in miserable relationships. Being in an abusive relationship, a toxic relationship, a dead-end marriage, a financial ruin inducing relationship, a sexless relationship, etc etc etc is nothing but a CHOICE. Plain and simple.

    Truest statement I've heard in a while. What's with the new profile Darx, trying to orange proof your pics?
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  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    edited February 2011
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    Darxwell wrote: »
    BINGO....

    ? create problems trying to keep the peace by lying to her ass. May as well have a fight based on truth than have peace based on a lie...cuz that peace is short lived my friend.

    Plus ppl need to realize its not your mate's job to make you happy. Its just their job to not make you miserable.     There is a difference. IF you looking for somebody to make you happy chances are you not a happy person to begin with. Look for somebody that doesnt cause you problems and makes living a bit easier. But somebody that makes you happy? That's your job. Get a hobby ? .

    I dont feel sorry for people in miserable relationships. Being in an abusive relationship, a toxic relationship, a dead-end marriage, a financial ruin inducing relationship, a sexless relationship, etc etc etc is nothing but a CHOICE. Plain and simple.

    that ? should be told to every couple that wants to get married
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