Compromising in Relationships
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Blue Virgo
Members Posts: 7,092 ✭✭✭
When it comes to you and your man, what kinds of issues do you find yourself compromising on? How often do you have to compromise and how much do you think you should compromise on any given issue? Ideally, a great compromise is one in which both parties leave feeling satisfied/happy with the agreement, but do you feel you should be "happiest" with it?
Let me know.
Let me know.
Comments
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*waits for Blue's response*
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Yeah I agree the real compromise comes in when you co-habitate.
My BF and I aren't there just yet but I can already tell I'm going to have to do a lot of compromising. It's going to take a minute to get used to that. -
junegemini wrote: »*waits for Blue's response*
lol, I don't really have one. We compromise on the time, and amount of, that we spend together. -
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real compromises start happening once you start living together.
Like having to be ok with the fact that your S/o likes to wash her cup immediately after drinking out of it, versus just sitting it on the side of the sink and using it thru out the day.(? drives me up a ? wall)
real ? . -
the serious thing me and my girl have had to compromise about is her past, im a pretty inquisitive guy, and she doesnt like talking about it so she hides alot and it makes me angry, we had a talk and i agreed not to be so questioning and she agreed to open up more and not hide so much....worked out ok.
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the serious thing me and my girl have had to compromise about is her past, im a pretty inquisitive guy, and she doesnt like talking about it so she hides alot and it makes me angry, we had a talk and i agreed not to be so questioning and she agreed to open up more and not hide so much....worked out ok.
Oh....that's a good one. I'm like you...very inquisitive about the past...things that happened before me. I don't even get mad, I just want to know--guess that's weird for some people to realize/accept. -
compromising is like losing that real, you altering yaself to make things run smoothly interfering with the original character that I feel for
I'd say no, don't compromise, becuz the small conflicts are good for a healthy relationship, and for those that can't make it thru the thin rough, then hey, maybe it wasn't meant to be -
blue virgo wrote: »Oh....that's a good one. I'm like you...very inquisitive about the past...things that happened before me. I don't even get mad, I just want to know--guess that's weird for some people to realize/accept.
yea she confuses my questioning her with me being upset, so she would hide alot of stuff because she thought it would make me upset, but then i would find out later on either from a 3rd party or her slippin and revealing something, then i WOULD get upset, because its like why couldnt you tell me when i first asked you about it? from what she has told me her mother was on some do as I say not as I do and dont question it type ? , where as me and my people conversated on the regular.....that and we married pretty young and im alot more mature mentally than her. -
who's moving in with who?
And what do you feel you will be having to compromise on? can't make a statement like that without giving up the goods, now.
say.
We're moving in together..
I know I will have to compromise when it comes to work..especially with this new position. -
compromising is like losing that real, you altering yaself to make things run smoothly interfering with the original character that I feel for
I'd say no, don't compromise, becuz the small conflicts are good for a healthy relationship, and for those that can't make it thru the thin rough, then hey, maybe it wasn't meant to be
I agree with ES...the problem nowadays is that there's too much pretending in the early stages of relationships which in effect give way to compromising situations in the long run. If u was real in the beginning then the compromising wouldnt be much of an issue cuz u would know from jumpstreet if u can tolerate him/her. -
I don't think you should compromise your beliefs or issues you feel strongly about, but all relationships require SOME compromise.
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I agree with ES...the problem nowadays is that there's too much pretending in the early stages of relationships which in effect give way to compromising situations in the long run. If u was real in the beginning then the compromising wouldnt be much of an issue cuz u would know from jumpstreet if u can tolerate him/her.
No, I don't agree with that. You're going to have to compromise all throughout your life....your relationship is no different.
It's not about pretending or not being "real"..it's about different people with different personalities trying to make it work.
Compromising doesn't even have to be an issue...it's just something that has to happen. -
A lot of people confuse compromise with choosing to simply tolerate something and not put up much of a fight over it.
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blue virgo wrote: »No, I don't agree with that. You're going to have to compromise all throughout your life....your relationship is no different.
It's not about pretending or not being "real"..it's about different people with different personalities trying to make it work.
Compromising doesn't even have to be an issue...it's just something that has to happen.
Most of those compromises are forced on you due to life situations...relationship compromise is more voluntary. Lets say u the type that dont like smokers (hypothetical) and u been datin a guy for a while and u find out he a smoker, but he's never done it around u. Even though this cat treats u like a queen would you drop him for his dishonesty or would u compromise?? -
Most of those compromises are forced on you due to life situations...relationship compromise is more voluntary. Lets say u the type that dont like smokers (hypothetical) and u been datin a guy for a while and u find out he a smoker, but he's never done it around u. Even though this cat treats u like a queen would you drop him for his dishonesty or would u compromise??
That's a compromise...if I haven't even noticed that he's been smoking it's not something that will make or break the relationship.....as far as the dishonesty goes--that's a minor lie, imo....no biggie. -
blue virgo wrote: »That's a compromise...if I haven't even noticed that he's been smoking it's not something that will make or break the relationship.....as far as the dishonesty goes--that's a minor lie, imo....no biggie.
Would u say thats voluntary or forced compromise?? After all, u can find another relationship right? -
Would u say thats voluntary or forced compromise?? After all, u can find another relationship right?
After finding out the truth, voluntary. I could find another relationship, but would I feel like giving mine up because of smoking.....especially when I couldn't even tell that he was a smoker? -
blue virgo wrote: »No, I don't agree with that. You're going to have to compromise all throughout your life....your relationship is no different.
It's not about pretending or not being "real"..it's about different people with different personalities trying to make it work.
Compromising doesn't even have to be an issue...it's just something that has to happen.
no wonder they say 50% of marriages end in divorce, why make something work that doesn't
its too many people in the world to force something -
its not really a lie unless you asked if he smokes and he said no...he just withheld some information, is all
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no wonder they say 50% of marriages end in divorce, why make something work that doesn't
its too many people in the world to force something
So you're saying there is a person for everybody that would require no compromise? I find that really hard to believe. -
blue virgo wrote: »After finding out the truth, voluntary. I could find another relationship, but would I feel like giving mine up because of smoking.....especially when I couldn't even tell that he was a smoker?
I used smoking as an example...put something a lil more near and dear to ur heart and run that thru ur head again. Ur first thought would probably be "why werent u honest with me from the beginning?" Ur second thought would be how many more compromises will I have to make cuz this ? aint entirely truthful. Which brings u back to the initial thread question...am i really into this guy enough to compromise my own lifestyle? Hopefully the answer will be an inexplicable no. -
no wonder they say 50% of marriages end in divorce, why make something work that doesn't
its too many people in the world to force something
Well you're never going to 100% agree with everyone on everything--it's just not plausible....and it's quite boring.
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I used smoking as an example...put something a lil more near and dear to ur heart and run that thru ur head again. Ur first thought would probably be "why werent u honest with me from the beginning?" Ur second thought would be how many more compromises will I have to make cuz this ? aint entirely truthful. Which brings u back to the initial thread question...am i really into this guy enough to compromise my own lifestyle? Hopefully the answer will be an inexplicable no.
I thought about other things....then I realized it has to do with preferences vs. requirements. Me not liking a guy that smokes is a preference....it's not a requirement that the guy I'm with is a non-smoker.
That wouldn't be my second response because I already know that compromise is just something that happens in any type of relationship.
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