Ladies: Could you date a man who has been accused (not proven guilty) of......

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blacklsoldier
blacklsoldier Members Posts: 899
edited February 2010 in The Powder Room
inappropriately touching a minor? Let's say your dating a man for an year and later on you find out that the man "of your dreams" has been accused of touching a pre-teen/juvenile inappropiately.

Would the love you have for this man allow you to wait things out, to see if the claims are true or not? Or would the mere thought of him even possibly doing something as disgusting that, be enough to call it quits immediately?
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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    isn't this the plot of a tyler perry movie??
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  • ms.jones
    ms.jones Members Posts: 5,796 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    Nope...can't take that chance because I have a daughter and a son. If I found out about it, that means he didn't tell me, a third party did. So now, not only are you accused of being a ? , you made yourself suspect by not disclosing that info in the beginning.


    I sure hate it if he was later found out to be not guilty, however that's just not a chance I'm willing to take.
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  • blacklsoldier
    blacklsoldier Members Posts: 899
    edited February 2010
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    I don't know bruh..lol. I don't watch his movies. Reason why im asking is because this is happening to a female cousin of mine. She act as though this guy could never do anything wrong....damn shame
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  • UPTOWN
    UPTOWN Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 13,009 Regulator
    edited February 2010
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    ms.jones wrote: »
    Nope...can't take that chance because I have a daughter and a son. If I found out about it, that means he didn't tell me, a third party did. So now, not only are you accused of being a ? , you made yourself suspect by not disclosing that info in the beginning.


    I sure hate it if he was later found out to be not guilty, however that's just not a chance I'm willing to take.

    what if he's found innocent tho?? u wouldnt even talk to him about the situation first??
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  • haute
    haute Members Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    dusouljah wrote: »
    isn't this the plot of a tyler perry movie??

    yes


    It depends on the circumstances surrounding the whole situation
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  • Steevie
    Steevie Banned Users Posts: 79
    edited February 2010
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    StephySteph lurrthekiieeds..

    So. No.
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  • [Trillmatic]
    [Trillmatic] Members Posts: 3,531 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    once ur charged with sumthin u might as well be guilty. even if ur found innocent ppl will always have doubts
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  • ms.jones
    ms.jones Members Posts: 5,796 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    UPTOWN (CONNEXX) wrote: »
    what if he's found innocent tho?? u wouldnt even talk to him about the situation first??

    As I said...I would sure hate the fact that I let him go under assumptions...they make an ass out of you. However, I have to question why he felt like he couldn't tell me after a year of us being together, and sharing conversation. If you didn't do it, and can prove it, why hide the situation? Again, I have 2 children that I have to think of before anything else. I'm not willing to take that risk of what if's and maybe's.
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  • quietaskept
    quietaskept Members Posts: 333 ✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    I wouldn't wait to make my decision to stay with him based off what the courts say. I know there are some sneaky ass people out there, but if I'm in a relationship with this person I would want to decide for myself if he did it or not.
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  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited February 2010
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    NOPE

    I'd kick him to the curb

    I have a kid and well I'm not willing to take any chances
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  • sweetnata19
    sweetnata19 Members Posts: 187
    edited February 2010
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    Nope can't do it.
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  • Blue Virgo
    Blue Virgo Members Posts: 7,092 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    hell no--pervert.
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  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    edited February 2010
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    so some of ya'll would automatically assume he's guilty in the situation based solely on an accusation?
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  • marie addams
    marie addams Members Posts: 1,699 ✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    no. where there's smoke there's fire
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  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    edited February 2010
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    marie addams wrote: »
    no. where there's smoke there's fire

    hmm....not all the time although I 100% understand taking no risk when it comes to your children, I've also seen people throw out sexual accusations completely unfounded and ruin another person's life so I'm not as quick as I once was to believe something like this w/ zero evidence
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  • marie addams
    marie addams Members Posts: 1,699 ✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    blackrain wrote: »
    hmm....not all the time although I 100% understand taking no risk when it comes to your children, I've also seen people throw out sexual accusations completely unfounded and ruin another person's life so I'm not as quick as I once was to believe something like this w/ zero evidence

    I understand that. but when it comes to my children I couldnt ever take that risk.

    I guess to put it in perspective for some of the guys, imagine the mother of your children dating someone new who happens to be the accused. you wouldn't need to see a peice of evidence to know you dont want your kids around this man in any way
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  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    edited February 2010
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    marie addams wrote: »
    I understand that. but when it comes to my children I couldnt ever take that risk.

    I guess to put it in perspective for some of the guys, imagine the mother of your children dating someone new who happens to be the accused. you wouldn't need to see a peice of evidence to know you dont want your kids around this man in any way

    thats why I said I can understand when it comes to your children you're supposed to think about protecting them first...I completely 100% understand that aspect of it...Im speaking solely in terms of judging that individual...I'd more than likely ask them to remove themselves from my child's life until I found out for certain what was going on...then assess the situation from there more clearly
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  • one_manshow
    one_manshow Members Posts: 4,591 ✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    What about those little kids who lie about some of that ? just to get attention and sympathy? I know a co-worker who got accused and two years later the little girl confessed the story was all a lie.
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  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited February 2010
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    one_manshow wrote: »
    What about those little kids who lie about some of that ? just to get attention and sympathy? I know a co-worker who got accused and two years later the little girl confessed the story was all a lie.

    I have to protect my child... can't risk it being true.

    Plus if I've been dating him for a year and this just pops up.... he's already betrayed me by lying.
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  • DEE-LICIOUS
    DEE-LICIOUS Members Posts: 6,088 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    blackrain wrote: »
    so some of ya'll would automatically assume he's guilty in the situation based solely on an accusation?

    Yup. Everyone is guilty until proven innocent, unless they are in my family.
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  • one_manshow
    one_manshow Members Posts: 4,591 ✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    mssouthernthang wrote: »
    I have to protect my child... can't risk it being true.

    Plus if I've been dating him for a year and this just pops up.... he's already betrayed me by lying.

    Understandable but if this guy had all the qualities you looked for in a partner and he tells you from the get go he is innocent...you dropping him or rolling with him?
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  • DEE-LICIOUS
    DEE-LICIOUS Members Posts: 6,088 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    one_manshow wrote: »
    Understandable but if this guy had all the qualities you looked for in a partner and he tells you from the get go he is innocent...you dropping him or rolling with him?

    honestly- this is the type of thing u stick by someone who you've been with for a while. For this to be some new cat- hell no.
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  • greatgodman
    greatgodman Members Posts: 155 ✭✭
    edited February 2010
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    ms.jones wrote: »
    Nope...can't take that chance because I have a daughter and a son. If I found out about it, that means he didn't tell me, a third party did. So now, not only are you accused of being a ? , you made yourself suspect by not disclosing that info in the beginning.


    I sure hate it if he was later found out to be not guilty, however that's just not a chance I'm willing to take.


    if he had told you that from the beginning you probably wouldn't go out with him, wouldn't you. i don't think if a guy in that situation would tell any one about it because they would automatically think he did it/
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