Fellas: Are we TOO HARD on Single Mothers?
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sdrawkcabseh wrote: »But if these single mothers are so "good", why are they single mothers?
What kind of ? question is that?
A single person is a single person.
You think that just because a woman has a kid she becomes "break-up proof" ?
maybe she should just throw her baby in the dumpster because her relationship ended. -
American Loo VII 3D wrote: »Perhaps.
But once you hit 30+ and you want to date women your age, expect them to have at least one kid.
Really? All owmen 30+ who aren't in relationships have kids.
That's a daunting proposition to have to deal with... -
Really? All owmen 30+ who aren't in relationships have kids.
That's a daunting proposition to have to deal with...
I dont know many women over 30 with no kids.
I know a few, but not many. -
American Loo VII 3D wrote: »Perhaps.
But once you hit 30+ and you want to date women your age, expect them to have at least one kid.
My woman's 23, I'm young too. We have yet to "produce" any children. So, I've avoided the epidemic of most brothas right there.... -
sdrawkcabseh wrote: »But if these single mothers are so "good", why are they single mothers?
I can't answer that for anyone but myself.
It didn't work out between us is my reason. You are acting like folks can't break up or something. It was the best thing I could have done for my son. Why stay in a relationship where it's not working out.. that's not a healthy enviroment for a child to be raised in.
Plus you are here bashing mothers...what about the men who help make the babies. Do you look down on them too?
You must deal with some trife women... which should make you stop and wonder if it's not them but you. I have never in my life asked another man to be my son's dad.... he's already got one. You do know women without kids play "games" too. -
Dude I always respect your opions, but you're out of line with this comment.Guys cut out on parenthood all the time...
Does it occur to you that females run man out of the house to get government benefits? Most females want a man, and when a man does what he is supposed to, they freak out and run him off. Then they get ? off when men fight to be in their kids' lives. -
no we don't go hard enough. All the incentives to be a single mother need to be crushed or the cycle will continue
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i thnk yall just needa upgrade yall females, i know far too many women with kids.. women who had kids very very young, that wouldn't dream of letting their kids even meet the ? they messing with until they're "sure" about the dude.. and even in tht case.. they still don't let the kids in on the fact that thy're dating until their personal relationship has developed...the only time they see the kids is in very social settings where there's no real "date" atmosphere...
i agree there a re a lot of females out there who just aren't careful with ? like that.. and those females deserve every bit of the hard treatment....but no way could i place that charge on all of them -
Dude I always respect your opions, but you're out of line with this comment.
Does it occur to you that females run man out of the house to get government benefits? Most females want a man, and when a man does what he is supposed to, they freak out and run him off. Then they get ? off when men fight to be in their kids' lives.
I know.
I was simply negating the suggestion that all single mothers are single due to their own doing.
Even being un-necessarily popular, guys do skip out when they're faced with having to be a parent.
Not saying that's how it always happens, at all. But it happens. Just like scandalous mothers happen. -
ok, but how soon are they doing this?
i mean did u read the stoy i posted?
i'm talking about 6 years of knowing a female, and 2 years of secretly dating, before he was introduced to her daughter as her boyfriend....
is even this scenario un reasonable?
I totally agree that women should be waiting to introduce kids (months). The story you just gave me was a little extreme lol 6 years lol. Now let me make some points clear if i wasn't. I ain't tripppin off spending money and even playing step daddy if the kid is a good kid hell it ain't his/her fault ( i have did it twice), but i just found that alot of things we BOTH may have wanted to do we just couldn't or had to go through hell and high water first. I don't know dusouljah it's tricky, I won't say don't do it but you can't go into thinking ? will be like 2 single people. Have you dated one (or now a days i guess i should say how many lol)? I will say this for sure dating them made me more mature (not them but because of the sit, i dealt with alot of ? I would have thought i couldn't like watching ? Dora for 3 hours straight and the game on uggghhhh lol) so i can't say it was all bad.
Edit: i never answered your question but the first one i met the child after about a month and the second one *smh* i smashed her while the child was in the same room sleep on her Dora bed the second time I went over there (i still am disgusted with myself for that) -
American Loo VII 3D wrote: »What kind of ? question is that?
A single person is a single person.
You think that just because a woman has a kid she becomes "break-up proof" ?
maybe she should just throw her baby in the dumpster because her relationship ended.
Well, it's a question worth examining. If a woman is a "good" woman, she's usually wifed up by a "good" man with ease. If a "good" man keeps getting slashed by so-called "good" women, he learns to explore options elsewhere. How many times do you have to put your hand in fire to know that it's hot? A man with no kids shouldn't wish to tie himself up with a woman with baggage.... -
stilldat_dude wrote: »I totally agree that women should be waiting to introduce kids (months). The story you just gave me was a little extreme lol 6 years lol. Now let me make some points clear if i wasn't. I ain't tripppin off spending money and even playing step daddy if the kid is a good kid hell it ain't his/her fault ( i have did it twice), but i just found that alot of things we BOTH may have wanted to do we just couldn't or had to go through hell and high water first. I don't know dusouljah it's tricky, I won't say don't do it but you can't go into thinking still be carry on like 2 single people. Have you dated one (or now a days i guess i should say how many lol)? I will say this for sure dating them made me more mature (not them but because of the sit, i dealt with alot of ? I would have thought i couldn't like watching ? Dora for 3 hours straight and the game on uggghhhh lol) so i can't say it was all bad.
Edit: i never answered your question but the first one i met the child after about a month and the second one *smh* i smashed her while the child was in her room sleep on her Dora bed the second time I went over there (i still am disgusted with myself for that)
i've done it a few times, and i looked for the signs to see if it was a situation i was ? with or not....
if i was cool with the way ? was going on, i hung around, and if i wasn't ? with it i dipped..... -
i've done it a few times, and i looked for the signs to see if it was a situation i was ? with or not....
if i was cool with the way ? was going on, i hung around, and if i wasn't ? with it i dipped.....
So what issues were the deal breaker for you, or ? just ran its course? -
mssouthernthang wrote: »I can't answer that for anyone but myself.
It didn't work out between us is my reason. You are acting like folks can't break up or something. It was the best thing I could have done for my son. Why stay in a relationship where it's not working out.. that's not a healthy enviroment for a child to be raised in.
Plus you are here bashing mothers...what about the men who help make the babies. Do you look down on them too?
You must deal with some trife women... which should make you stop and wonder if it's not them but you. I have never in my life asked another man to be my son's dad.... he's already got one. You do know women without kids play "games" too.
Was your son's father what you consider a "good" man, or was he a man with "swag"? Also, I bash both sides when they screw up but the problem is that society has excoriated father's to the point that it completely ignores the role of the mother in the situation. I don't deal with trife women, stopped that a long time ago. Read my previous posts in this thread alone. Women are game players over all, which is why my woman knows that if she ever devises a "game" with me, she's out the door, simple as that.... -
sdrawkcabseh wrote: »Was your son's father what you consider a "good" man, or was he a man with "swag"? Also, I bash both sides when they screw up but the problem is that society has excoriated father's to the point that it completely ignores the role of the mother in the situation. I don't deal with trife women, stopped that a long time ago. Read my previous posts in this thread alone. Women are game players over all, which is why my woman knows that if she ever devises a "game" with me, she's out the door, simple as that....
I thought he was a good man at the time but I ended up being wrong.
Honestly I don't see why you are bash anyone You are in a relationship with no kids... how does this topic effect your life exactly?
Seems to me you just want to complain about something that you really don't know anything about...... -
props to the t/s for gunning for the 2010 Stepfather of the Year Award
this thread just says to all the single mothers: "I'm a rest haven for hoes" LOL -
nah..we're not hard enough imo
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Naw there single mothers for a reason, either their ? wasn't tight enough, there hideous, or just plain crazy.....otherwise ? would be with them
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stilldat_dude wrote: »So what issues were the deal breaker for you, or ? just ran its course?
one, shorty just was kinda young minded in general, wasn't ready for a serious relationship.. still in the "game running" stage of her life....the kid was never really an issue, cuz even while we were dating she had the mentality that she could do EVERYTHING on her own.. which was cool for me, cuz i wasn't trying to do ? for her kid....i just got annoyed with her after time
another was simply because we had a falling out after an argument where she completely understimated what she could and couldn't say to me......i think she dealt with a lotta soft dudes in her past.....but it had nothing to do with her kids.. i ? with her kids heavily...i even picked one up from school once when she was sick.....only reason i did it cuz i was off that day, and shorty was stressing about leaving work....i didn't mind it at the time....
and a few of the others i never even hung around long enough to meet the kids...? was just a smash and dash jump off type of situation, either i came over after they were sleep or they came over to my place
only once in my life did i have to cut a chick off cuz of her kids...i was on my way over and she called me asking could i pick some mcdonalds up for her kids they ain't eat dinner yet...i told shorty something came up and i couldn't come over.... -
blakfyahking wrote: »props to the t/s for gunning for the 2010 Stepfather of the Year Award
this thread just says to all the single mothers: "I'm a rest haven for hoes" LOL
you damn right LOL...Who else gonna ? all them beaten, demoralized ? ...
Rest of the IC...im sorry for that digression. -
only time they want a decent ? on they team when the ? hits the fan so why should we settle for less?
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Being a young dude that has done well for himself...I would have to say, me dating a single mother would be based on a case by case senario...
I agree with a lot of posters that say it all depends on how the single mother is going about her business, her morals, etc. -
mssouthernthang wrote: »I thought he was a good man at the time but I ended up being wrong.
Honestly I don't see why you are bash anyone You are in a relationship with no kids... how does this topic effect your life exactly?
Seems to me you just want to complain about something that you really don't know anything about......
Therein lies the problem: There is a difference between thinking and knowing. For example, the first few times I kicked it with my woman, I paid attention to what she did and not what she said. She proved to me, through her actions, that she was really down for me.
Couple years back, I tried dating women with kids twice,and it only took two times for me to wise up and stop the unecessary simping( a point every man must reach in his life). I know a bit about it, seeing the relationships of some of my female cousins and their delusions has told me all I need to know....
When I have kids, me and the missus will be married..... -
Yung_Souf_Money wrote: »only time they want a decent ? on they team when the ? hits the fan so why should we settle for less?
That sir, deserves a co-sign... -
single mothers is coo and all ? bless em but .....
if i'm starting to date a girl and i'm like lets go out , lets chill , go to the movies or whatever ..... and i get " i can't i gotta watch my baby " ... i'm pretty much done ... i'm too young to have to deal with that ?
if i was 35 and still playing the dating game then ofc i'll have to accept a woman with a baby but at 23 ..... naw , and it's so hard to find a coo chick without a baby now smh
