Mind over matter: The Beginning of Sex in RELATIONSHIPS....
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RedPassionColada wrote: »I reread your original post. I understand now that you two were doing oral on one another. My experience is a little different, I gave him head on two separate occasions, with my top off. He still asked me to have sex, knowing my strong thoughts about it. We didnt have sex until we both got tested.
According to the highlighted you need to reread it, again. That is not at all what I said.
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Jonas.dini wrote: »I let the woman set her parameters, and I'll stay within those, but I'll be testing the barricades sometimes, and imo women like that as long as u don't get too pushy
Right. Don't bite off more than she's making available for you to chew.....so to speak. Lol. -
Oh and guys can't get tested for HPV. So if a dude doesn't have a genital wart, he could still be a carrier.Because she wasn't frontin on this STD tip before while y'all were kissing. Yet Herpes can be passed on without any symptoms through drinking, smoking, kissing etc
Edit: ^^^^ I just enlightened the minds of 80% of the ICRedPassionColada wrote: »I reread your original post. I understand now that you two were doing oral on one another. My experience is a little different, I gave him head on two separate occasions, with my top off. He still asked me to have sex, knowing my strong thoughts about it. We didnt have sex until we both got tested.
And this is my point. After you've engaged in the exchange of genital fluids, its over for that "I just wanna make sure we're both safe ok" routine. Its over. -
I'd be questioning if its really because she has a newfound focus on the prevelance of STDs. Or she's just singling me out and questioning my background. There has to be a reason beside, "I just wanna get tested for my safety ok."
And even that is laughable. Because she wasn't frontin on this STD tip before while y'all were kissing. Yet Herpes can be passed on without any symptoms through drinking, smoking, kissing etc
Edit: ^^^^ I just enlightened the minds of 80% of the IC
then why would she mess with you if she was singling you out?
wouldn't that be flawed logic for her to mess with you while thinking she had to be extra careful in dealing with you?
Iono bruh, a chick volunteering to get tested is always a good thing IMO -
Conscious__Nkechi wrote: »You cannot say it is just a front. Anything said can be just that, it all depends on the individual. I am absolutely adamant and firm in my stance on sex and initiating it. I can't give my all to you without making sure we've done this together. I know I am clean but I need to know the same of you and I feel that its a good step in our relationship, a mandatory one. Not just one that "sounds good."
but that's YOU.. and as good and as admirable as that is about YOU most females who request testing, can be negotiated outta that ? with the right amount of charm and atmopshphere... -
I guess I don't see being caught up in the heat of the moment as totally disrepectful or him being selfish. Now If he tried again after that then I can see where the selfishness comes in.
Ok let me say this again.
You've expressed to him on more than one occasion that without being ready and going to get tested together there will be NO sex. Pretty self explanatory.
After having told him more than once, he goes the extra mile this time and tries to have unprotected sex with you.
Please tell me how that is not disrespectful to your wishes, wants and needs? How is he not being selfish? He's totally disrespected your feelings and took it upon himself to burden you with the aftermath by going against your will prematurely. -
RedPassionColada wrote: »I reread your original post. I understand now that you two were doing oral on one another. My experience is a little different, I gave him head on two separate occasions, with my top off. He still asked me to have sex, knowing my strong thoughts about it. We didnt have sex until we both got tested.
what???
so you mercked the man off twice, but you still had reservations about having sex?
da ? ?
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And this is my point. After you've engaged in the exchange of genital fluids, its over for that "I just wanna make sure we're both safe ok" routine. Its over.
Lol.
Sex and oral sex are one in the same to me. I never implied she gave him head, at all.
I agree with Blak and you on this one.
If I'm blessing you, sex is being had so RedColada makes no sense to me. -
blakfyahking wrote: »then why would she mess with you if she was singling you out?
wouldn't that be flawed logic for her to mess with you while thinking she had to be extra careful in dealing with you?
Iono bruh, a chick volunteering to get tested is always a good thing IMO
You must've missed my first post. I said getting tested is the easiest thing in the world. ? do it on ya way to Walmart if ya want. I pity the fool that looks at it as a burden.
But your telling me, that if a girl you were talking to, who never had a past of getting tested, wanted you to get tested, you wouldn't look at her a little sideways like "why now?" -
blakfyahking wrote: »then why would she mess with you if she was singling you out?
wouldn't that be flawed logic for her to mess with you while thinking she had to be extra careful in dealing with you?
Iono bruh, a chick volunteering to get tested is always a good thing IMO
The mentality of a MAN. -
Conscious__Nkechi wrote: »Lol.
Sex and oral sex are one in the same to me. I never implied she gave him head, at all.
I agree with Blak and you on this one.
If I'm blessing you, sex is being had so RedColada makes no sense to me.
lol yeah thats what I figured. But I was just waiting for the folk to be like well it was oral and "not sex sex." ? fluids are ? fluids.
? , homegirl should've made going to the clinic a date. Her: "Hey sooooo instead of going to the movies, lets go to the clinic. My treat!" -
You must've missed my first post. I said getting tested is the easiest thing in the world. ? do it on ya way to Walmart if ya want. I pity the fool that looks at it as a burden.
But your telling me, that if a girl you were talking to, who never had a past of getting tested, wanted you to get tested, you wouldn't look at her a little sideways like "why now?"
well of course you gon ask the question at 1st.............but then when you think about it, it's a win/win situation
she stupid if she is only asking cause she is worried about something specific with you, yet SHE chose you
and the fact she is willing and requesting to get tested is nothing but a benefit for you, cause most of these young slores ain't even thinking about being responsible like that
people can easily have a change of heart as they mature
now if she used to do ? and one-night stands on the regular before you, then it's on YOU if you still decide to mess with shorty LOL -
blakfyahking wrote: »she stupid if she is only asking cause she is worried about something specific with you, yet SHE chose you
This is definitely a side of it that I never thought about.....*writes point down* -
lol yeah thats what I figured. But I was just waiting for the folk to be like well it was oral and "not sex sex." ? fluids are ? fluids.
? , homegirl should've made going to the clinic a date. Her: "Hey sooooo instead of going to the movies, lets go to the clinic. My treat!"
Well to me, sex is sex, ? included. I think it's backwards for these girls out here thinking 1st comes head and the rest follows. Then they claim they've never had sex before, only given head. *sigh*
:l
I am not amused. lol.
Why must it be all that? It's so simple. We make a time to go during business hours, a few needles here, a poke there, BAM. Wait a week or two. It's not that serious and yet it really is. -
I find the attempts at sincerity in this thread to be hilarious.
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blakfyahking wrote: »well of course you gon ask the question at 1st.............but then when you think about it, it's a win/win situation
she stupid if she is only asking cause she is worried about something specific with you, yet SHE chose you
and the fact she is willing and requesting to get tested is nothing but a benefit for you, cause most of these young slores ain't even thinking about being responsible like that
people can easily have a change of heart as they mature
now if she used to do ? and one-night stands on the regular before you, then it's on YOU if you still decide to mess with shorty LOL
I fail to see any downside to being asked to get tested. And why on earth would I become offended?
On the other hand I have yet to have a man ask me to go get tested. I've only been the one to ask. -
Conscious__Nkechi wrote: »Ok let me say this again.
You've expressed to him on more than one occasion that without being ready and going to get tested together there will be NO sex. Pretty self explanatory.
After having told him more than once, he goes the extra mile this time and tries to have unprotected sex with you.
Please tell me how that is not disrespectful to your wishes, wants and needs? How is he not being selfish? He's totally disrespected your feelings and took it upon himself to burden you with the aftermath by going against your will prematurely.
We're kissing and touching all over one another at time this happened, I would see it more as him having a weak moment then him being selfish. -
We're kissing and touching all over one another at time this happened, I would see it more as him having a weak moment then him being selfish.
Selfish because that weakness clouded his better judgment of considering your feelings on that matter after the severity of it has been expressed numerous times.
But yes, definitely weak, I agree. -
Conscious__Nkechi wrote: »Ok let me say this again.
You've expressed to him on more than one occasion that without being ready and going to get tested together there will be NO sex. Pretty self explanatory.
After having told him more than once, he goes the extra mile this time and tries to have unprotected sex with you.
Please tell me how that is not disrespectful to your wishes, wants and needs? How is he not being selfish? He's totally disrespected your feelings and took it upon himself to burden you with the aftermath by going against your will prematurely.
That is disrespectful. I would feel like he wasn't being considerate of what I wanted and it would be a red flag.
However, if it only happened once, I could look past it but if he kept trying to test my control and move farther then I'm prepared to go then the relationship would more then likely end. -
MissLeading wrote: »That is disrespectful. I would feel like he wasn't being considerate of what I wanted and it would be a red flag.
Precisely.
I don't believe it can be justified by being "weak."
The flesh is weak, that's simple. It's the basics of why that temptation becomes resisted is what would be of importance. Him even trying and without protection? Seriously though? -
you initially get them with the hard ? ...and you keep them coming back with the slow stroke.....
ok now imma read marley's post....
I see you bruh...Congrats again! -
Conscious__Nkechi wrote: »Why must it be all that? It's so simple. We make a time to go during business hours, a few needles here, a poke there, BAM. Wait a week or two. It's not that serious and yet it really is.
So now I gotta miss my lunch break? -
So now I gotta miss my lunch break?
Our clean bill of health>>>a full belly one afternoon.
Dinner will be ready at 6 sharp when you're off work. I promise.
Smh! -
I broke up with a ? because she didn't want to give me the ? . It was mine the very next week. #winning.
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mrsoutcity wrote: »I broke up with a ? because she didn't want to give me the ? . It was mine the very next week. #winning.
Smh .
