Do people need to know you have kids ...
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7figz
Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
.. if they don't live with you ?
I'm not talking about somebody you're dating. I mean people you meet day to day, or co-workers, or just someone who asks if you have kids in a convo ?
Personally, as a man, I don't voluntarily go around telling people I have a kid - because I don't care to get into a discussion about it. My kid don't live with me, and the first thing a female ask is "how often you see him ?" or other personal ? ...
Fellas, what y'all do in that situation ?
Ladies, how y'all feel about that ?
I'm not talking about somebody you're dating. I mean people you meet day to day, or co-workers, or just someone who asks if you have kids in a convo ?
Personally, as a man, I don't voluntarily go around telling people I have a kid - because I don't care to get into a discussion about it. My kid don't live with me, and the first thing a female ask is "how often you see him ?" or other personal ? ...
Fellas, what y'all do in that situation ?
Ladies, how y'all feel about that ?
Comments
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smh @ wack fathers.
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smh @ wack fathers.
Come on Kat, that was too predictable. Elaborate. If a man doesn't volunteer this info, he's wack ?
Where in the book does it state that a person must divulge this info in day to day conversation ? -
it depends on where I'm at and who I'm speaking to....usually I repped for my kid tho.....esp if I'm in a situation where I see people often.....
it often kills stereotypes and shut cackiling, bitter chicks up at the same time they start to feel the boy.........
but i dont go overboard wit it....... -
Word hoes bring that ? up like it livens the conversation.
? up the mood and ? , "My son just...", "My daughter is...".
? I don't give a damn about your kids. Let them burn. -
new account2 wrote: »it depends on where I'm at and who I'm speaking to....usually I repped for my kid tho.....esp if I'm in a situation where I see people often.....
it often kills stereotypes and shut cackiling, bitter chicks up at the same time they start to feel the boy.........
but i dont go overboard wit it.......
Real talk right there. I used to speak on it but then I noticed all it did was lead people to assume ? and ask more questions they shouldn't ask - especially for a guy. What kind of father are you ? Why did you leave the mother ? Just other out of place ? . -
What do say if someone asks you if you have a kid directly? I mean as long as you don't lie about your kids, I don't see the problem with not sharing that information in an inital conversation.
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What do say if someone asks you if you have a kid directly? I mean as long as you don't lie about your kids, I don't see the problem with not sharing that information in an inital conversation.
It depends, I might not feel like getting into my personal biz with that person. And chances are when a man says that his kid doesn't live with him, women will judge him on the low.
The thing is that person probably doesn't really to know and I'm not looking for a pat on the back for making a baby. -
Real talk right there. I used to speak on it but then I noticed all it did was lead people to assume ? and ask more questions they shouldn't ask - especially for a guy. What kind of father are you ? Why did you leave the mother ? Just other out of place ? .
yea women be having problems with they baby fathers so they be tryna take that ? out on you.....by me sayin something off top, it kills a lot of assumptions......
sometimes they be opening up too much tho.........like they see you they want to ? about they baby father and ? ......liek you can relate LOL.... -
It depends, I might not feel like getting into my personal biz with that person. And chances are when a man says that his kid doesn't live with him, women will judge him on the low.
The thing is that person probably doesn't really to know and I'm not looking for a pat on the back for making a baby.
So do you lie about having a kid or do you tap dance your way out of actually answering? -
So do you lie about having a kid or do you tap dance your way out of actually answering?
I tell them no, I don't dance my way out of it. It depends though, like I said complete strangers probably don't need to know. -
I tell them no, I don't dance my way out of it.
Oooo no bueno. That's kinda of a ? up thing to do, just so you don't have to answer a few questions. -
Yes! Especially men, because they be having some dumb, ghetto trashy ass baby mama's, that loves to start ish. So a woman needs to know first hand of the ish she is getting herself into....
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People love to talk about themselves, keep the topic on them, give vague answers about you and your life.
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lovelycreation wrote: »Yes! Especially men, because they be having some dumb, ghetto trashy ass baby mama's, that loves to start ish. So a woman needs to know first hand of the ish she is getting herself into....
Na but these be females who I'm not even trying to kick game to, just some casual conversation and people feel they have a right to know. If it was a relationship situation, then obviously they could know. -
Na but these be females who I'm not even trying to kick game to, just some casual conversation and people feel they have a right to know. If it was a relationship situation, then obviously they could know.
Yeah, thats what I mean, if we're trying to enter or start a relationship. -
Only when I get close do I tell them cuz they don't need to be in my biz.
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Oooo no bueno. That's kinda of a ? up thing to do, just so you don't have to answer a few questions.
How so ? Most of the time, it's not about answering questions. It's a guy who has a kid but the kid doesn't live with him - tell me what's gonna be your thoughts on this dude once he tells you this ?
Guy: (says something slightly funny)
Girl: (laughs a little too hard)
Girl: You guys are too much. See you could do that, you don't have any kids to worry about....
Guy: Yea whatever
Girl: Do you though ?
Guy: Do I what ?
Girl: ... have any kids ?
Guy: Yea 1 but (s)he doesn't live with me.
Girl: (Shakes her head) Well do you atleast see him ?
Guy: (thinking to himself - when that ? lets me / only on my visitation...) uhh Yea, not as much as I want to.
Girl: What you mean ? That's ya' child ! See y'all men ? me.
Guy: Wait, you don't even know me. Ain't that a little quick to judge ?
Girl: I just don't like men not taking care of their kids.... My children's father pull the same ? . Ain't give me a dime...
Guy: Lady, FYI. I try to see my kid as much as possible, but his/her mother be startin' ? when I do.
Girl: Oh, I hate women like that.... (blah blah blah)
Guy: Yea, nice meetin' you.
(walks away)
Girl: (? ' no-good ? out here makin' babies n' ? , can't stand 'em..... wack fathers... blah blah blah.... )
Guy: (glad I let that chick I just met know I have a child, we completely connected on that... sarcasm) -
How so ? Most of the time, it's not about answering questions. It's a guy who has a kid but the kid doesn't live with him - tell me what's gonna be your thoughts on this dude once he tells you this ?
Guy: (says something slightly funny)
Girl: (laughs a little too hard)
Girl: You guys are too much. See you could do that, you don't have any kids to worry about....
Guy: Yea whatever
Girl: Do you though ?
Guy: Do I what ?
Girl: ... have any kids ?
Guy: Yea 1 but (s)he doesn't live with me.
Girl: (Shakes her head) Well do you atleast see him ?
Guy: (thinking to himself - when that ? lets me / only on my visitation...) uhh Yea, not as much as I want to.
Girl: What you mean ? That's ya' child ! See y'all men ? me.
Guy: Wait, you don't even know me. Ain't that a little quick to judge ?
Girl: I just don't like men not taking care of their kids.... My children's father pull the same ? . Ain't give me a dime...
Guy: Lady, FYI. I try to see my kid as much as possible, but his/her mother be startin' ? when I do.
Girl: Oh, I hate women like that.... (blah blah blah)
Guy: Yea, nice meetin' you.
(walks away)
Girl: (? ' no-good ? out here makin' babies n' ? , can't stand 'em..... wack fathers... blah blah blah.... )
Guy: (glad I let that chick I just met know I have a child, we completely connected on that... sarcasm)
I wouldn't go thru all that, cause I would automatically assume that your kid lived with his mom and not you anyway. I see where you coming from tho you don't want to be judged, but lying about your kid is still no bueno. -
fiat_money wrote: »Word hoes bring that ? up like it livens the conversation.
? up the mood and ? , "My son just...", "My daughter is...".
? I don't give a damn about your kids. Let them burn.
LMAO depending on my mood^^y'all may think this is a joke...lol that's real ? . Sometimes I'll be speaking w/ a random chick tryna vibe an she says the bolded and it's just like.....
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I don't go around volunteering the info, but if you talk to me for any decent amount of time my daughter will come up because she's a huge part of my life and who I am as a person. The idea of lying or avoiding questions about her existence is unthinkable.
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I don't brag about my son as soon as I start a convo with somebody but the convo will not get too deep before I tell them I have a son. I feel as though I should tell people sometimes before a conversation gets deep or if I know they are about to make me upset and I don't wanna do something horrible to them I try to throw it in the convo.
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I don't go around volunteering the info, but if you talk to me for any decent amount of time my daughter will come up because she's a huge part of my life and who I am as a person. The idea of lying or avoiding questions about her existence is unthinkable.
That's you though. Your child lives with you and you feel like bringing her up. Do you see a good reason for somebody who's child doesn't live with them to get into a personal discussion about their past relationship with a complete stranger ? -
Your child is a part of you. to deny your seed to impress some random chick or whatever, is just deplorable. I can see if you don't bring it up but you just flat out lie about it...what parent that loves their child could do that?
What part of "strangers don't need to know why me and my baby mother don't live together and the details of my visitation etc..." I appreciate the opinion but how the hell is this "denying" your kid ? Denying would be telling my kid (s)he ain't mine, not choosing not to get into a topic about something personal with a random chick. And this ain't to "impress" anybody.... I see more people trying to "impress" by bringing up their kids when that ? is unnecessary. -
This thread went south pretty fast... but anyway I don't wanna be around a girl who or anybody at all who's always talmbout they kids. ? is annoyin'.
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This thread went south pretty fast... but anyway I don't wanna be around a girl who or anybody at all who's always talmbout they kids. ? is annoyin'.
It's all good, I post real ? . I don't really expect everybody to agree.... especially females. That's the original point, ? start jumping to assumptions about you when you discuss you havin' kids - and especially if they don't live with you.
It's like bringing up religion, the conversation could go south real quick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZKREIbDFIo
