From the Bottom of My Soul *Inspired by Kendrick Lamar- The Heart PT.2*

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REAL_POETICAL
REAL_POETICAL Members Posts: 347 ✭✭
edited July 2011 in Waiting To Exhale
So bitter and still against stereotypical
positions and witnesses that witness the false lies
to get inspire and try
I can't get by this life I'm living
so I'm giving myself another try before suicide
who you to try to deal with death and see the other side
to battle the devil to get the lords eyed approval?
this is the question that keeps popping up
wondering from folks when enough is enough
a cup of nothing pours and I soar deep in the mind of unconsciousness
hopeless and broken
battered and assaulted
no love from anybody and even the lord chuck the deuces
so I'm back on my old ?
05 exclusive
acting an ass putting my life on blast
in front of the eyes of many that laugh and respond back
or give dap but within the love lies a stealing written from me
to their luxury no bullshitting
my paranoia plays a big portion of my life
it tag teams with depression and my stressing for a better life
shitttt no reason to write a book when the book becomes lies and redundancy
my best work is when I'm angry and spewing on this broken website
surrounded by angry poets and poetess that feel the insecurity
forgive my brash harsh reality this is abusing me
hurting me and hurling me into a mindless rambling
black t shirt and jeans with tan tims
arguing at the world to let me in
? on the changes that were slim
lost my best friend because she was a phony
kick me in the ass because she got lucky
meanwhile a while back she was envious of me
dissing me and ripping me for my studies
? her and ? women in the recession
so needy but need a man but diss a man thats suffering the broke times
so hurt and full of lustful intentions
can't find a way out
hate Georgia with a passion and miss Philly despite its violent like actions
people up north think with a passion
while down south it's all about old fashion reaction
? ya feelings if you a resident and not feeling the same struggle
I'm a illegal alien that talk funny
so I get butt ? and slap with no breaks
hesitate my past poetry to be clean
mature from the days my ? was obscene
time to let the demon out which is controlling me
I can't stand the internet for what it means
people are so anti social including me
hate myself and even society
but reality is that I failed as a whole
no manhood grew up with a loner and a step daddy
he lay the seed of hatred and pain within me
so when he left I became him but I'm controlling
the urges of saying ? love and leave
but the ? in me wants me to continue to wait
and suffer the crushing results of 2008 and now
before then and when I was declared the man
having certificates and other high things in demand
the best smelling snatches and friends that never left
a mentor that look at me as if I'm the only son he only wish for
now I'm lonely miserable in this ? apartment
while wife wonders why I can't find any happiness within she
she don't understand but feels the same way
yet her attitude is sleep and take care of the child that lies within her
its my future that I ruin and I need counseling
maybe drugs or a drink but I'm so straight edge its not even funny
you see the void within my soul
you see the pain that I hold onto
can't let it go I'm too human so I let it show
man this poem is getting long so I break it for part 2 and a 3


See this is all of me
time to come out of the shell
because this may be a dead horse
that I love to come back swinging to
poetry is my escape and so is a view or two
maybe I'll make some sense
and my cents to get off by making poetry
for the suspense and money
yessir selling out sounds sweet enough
this is the devil of greed thats eating up
when ya broke money becomes an agenda
a evil spirit that enters and consumes your good provoking thoughts
you become a different man and plan doing things you never thought so
like robbing folks for their social security
live their life and sell it back on ebay
replay the subject
this is upsetting to the point it sounds emo
typing this ? down seems so peaceful
maybe this is killing my alter ego
murdering my persona to keep it real so
I can get a peace of mind
while my peaces of my mind spray on the billboard
so dark with the poem I need light in this monitor to shine
so the world can see
the blabbering is all me
no lie or fairy tale like story
this is poetry at its divine glory
testimony that I need to do more than just sit on my ass and wait for time pass
I need to get out of the past
and get pass the task of putting my life on blast
but the laughs and the gags of tears keep me pumping this poetry for eyes
that this is the harsh grim tale of a good story gone bad
preparing many for the task at hand
that one day you could be sitting on ya ?
waiting for the friendships you have succumb to the abandonment
and you left to wonder why me
and wander off with an ass on ya shoulder like mentality
this is all I have to say about my life and all of its glory
no lie about this story live life and stay sharp at what you do
continue to have faith
because this could happen to you

Comments

  • RuffDraft
    RuffDraft Members, Writer Posts: 4,753 ✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2011
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    Props on this and nice that you're listening to Kendrick Lamar :tu

    It's a long piece but definitely something that is worth a read, some dark times and dark topics, I like it… at the same time, whatever's going on with you and your girl should not be affected by the times of the recession and whatever other ? that needs undressing.

    I just think that when you have a wife or whatever, you should see their soul and try to sit them down and ensure that of all things, you're down for them out of everything else in the world… I think that's something really difficult to do at the time, but something that should definitely be attempted. As as long as you're still together, nothing's over and can be worked on.
  • REAL_POETICAL
    REAL_POETICAL Members Posts: 347 ✭✭
    edited July 2011
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    RuffDraft wrote: »
    Props on this and nice that you're listening to Kendrick Lamar :tu

    It's a long piece but definitely something that is worth a read, some dark times and dark topics, I like it… at the same time, whatever's going on with you and your girl should not be affected by the times of the recession and whatever other ? that needs undressing.

    I just think that when you have a wife or whatever, you should see their soul and try to sit them down and ensure that of all things, you're down for them out of everything else in the world… I think that's something really difficult to do at the time, but something that should definitely be attempted. As as long as you're still together, nothing's over and can be worked on.

    thanks for peeping this poem out...I appreciate what you saying...I guess I'm going through a transition of pain, identity crisis, and other situations that make things hectic with my personal love life...I do cherish and love my significant other despite the drama of what a marriage brings....its just the hardships of life and pressure from both parties thats making the sting of marriage become overwhelming
  • VSOP
    VSOP Members Posts: 195 ✭✭
    edited July 2011
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    damn fam I started readin ...and readin....then checked and saw how long this joint was lol I gotta come back to this man, I'm gonna be late for work

    so far so good though "black t shirt, jeans and tan timbs".......yeah I can relate---good ish homie