D@MN, I like the kids more than I like her..............I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blacklsoldier
blacklsoldier Members Posts: 899
edited July 2010 in For The Grown & Sexy
Okay, he's my dilemma. I'm a 24yr old no kids, no arrest record, good job, great credit, live alone ECT. So I just met this girl a few months ago, that also has TWO kids. Now as for myself I’ve never been the type to date a girl with kids, BUT we were supposed to remain FRIENDS plus the vibe was cool so I said I’ll just go with it.

The first date we had she was like "I have to tell you, my kids can be a handful". I being an uncle just chalked it up as kids being kids. Well when I did met the kids they WERE quite the handful, but I just thought the fact of them not having the MALE in the house had a lot to do with it. AND IT WAS!!! So after a while of me being around them we gained a strong bond. But, I and ole girl's relationship was getting worse and worse. Mainly because she saw how well I was with them and slowly stated to do things to better let me know she wanted to get rid of the friendship thing. Things like: Tell people we were dating introduce me as the kids "Step-Father", call me late night talking about coming over ECT.

Now don't get me wrong shawty is cool as hell, just not my type as a GF. Well recently we've stopped talking and I haven't spoken or hung out with the boys since. I want to call but I don't want her to think I’m considering giving US a try. I not being able to see them, plus them asking why I don't come around anymore is KILLING me. Call me a simp or whatever. When you have 2 young boys wanting to hang with you all the time and you’re the only REAL positive male figure in their lives it can be somewhat confusing. Especially when you CAN'T STAND the mother!!!!!!!!!!
I really need advice on the matter. What should I do Fellas/Ladies?

Comments

  • American Loo VII 3D
    American Loo VII 3D Members Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    Okay, he's my dilemma. I'm a 24yr old no kids, no arrest record, good job, great credit, live alone ECT. So I just met this girl a few months ago, that also has TWO kids. Now as for myself I’ve never been the type to date a girl with kids, BUT we were supposed to remain FRIENDS plus the vibe was cool so I said I’ll just go with it.

    The first date we had she was like "I have to tell you, my kids can be a handful". I being an uncle just chalked it up as kids being kids. Well when I did met the kids they WERE quite the handful, but I just thought the fact of them not having the MALE in the house had a lot to do with it. AND IT WAS!!! So after a while of me being around them we gained a strong bond. But, I and ole girl's relationship was getting worse and worse. Mainly because she saw how well I was with them and slowly stated to do things to better let me know she wanted to get rid of the friendship thing. Things like: Tell people we were dating introduce me as the kids "Step-Father", call me late night talking about coming over ECT.

    Now don't get me wrong shawty is cool as hell, just not my type as a GF. Well recently we've stopped talking and I haven't spoken or hung out with the boys since. I want to call but I don't want her to think I’m considering giving US a try. I not being able to see them, plus them asking why I don't come around anymore is KILLING me. Call me a simp or whatever. When you have 2 young boys wanting to hang with you all the time and you’re the only REAL positive male figure in their lives it can be somewhat confusing. Especially when you CAN'T STAND the mother!!!!!!!!!!
    I really need advice on the matter. What should I do Fellas/Ladies?

    stopped reading at bolded.
  • blacklsoldier
    blacklsoldier Members Posts: 899
    edited May 2010
    I was talking to my cousin yesterday and he told me to watch this vid (He did this while laughing and shaking his head)
  • goat334
    goat334 Members Posts: 3,604 ✭✭
    edited May 2010
    I'm pretty much in the same boat......
  • Simma II
    Simma II Banned Users Posts: 787
    edited May 2010
    You can't stay in a relationship because of the kids....kids that aren't yours....
  • NIKE...
    NIKE... Members Posts: 3,742 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    *real* post: explain ? to her like you just did in this thread, if she cant deal with that then chalk it up and keep it movin...

    *IC* post: ? her and them kids...once you move on...you move on..let them lil ? fend for themselves, you aint the daddy anyway...
  • Max.
    Max. Members Posts: 33,009 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    Okay, he's my dilemma. I'm a 24yr old no kids, no arrest record, good job, great credit, live alone ECT. So I just met this girl a few months ago, that also has TWO kids. Now as for myself I’ve never been the type to date a girl with kids, BUT we were supposed to remain FRIENDS plus the vibe was cool so I said I’ll just go with it.

    The first date we had she was like "I have to tell you, my kids can be a handful". I being an uncle just chalked it up as kids being kids. Well when I did met the kids they WERE quite the handful, but I just thought the fact of them not having the MALE in the house had a lot to do with it. AND IT WAS!!! So after a while of me being around them we gained a strong bond. But, I and ole girl's relationship was getting worse and worse. Mainly because she saw how well I was with them and slowly stated to do things to better let me know she wanted to get rid of the friendship thing. Things like: Tell people we were dating introduce me as the kids "Step-Father", call me late night talking about coming over ECT.

    Now don't get me wrong shawty is cool as hell, just not my type as a GF. Well recently we've stopped talking and I haven't spoken or hung out with the boys since. I want to call but I don't want her to think I’m considering giving US a try. I not being able to see them, plus them asking why I don't come around anymore is KILLING me. Call me a simp or whatever. When you have 2 young boys wanting to hang with you all the time and you’re the only REAL positive male figure in their lives it can be somewhat confusing. Especially when you CAN'T STAND the mother!!!!!!!!!!
    I really need advice on the matter. What should I do Fellas/Ladies?

    them kids aRE looking for Father figure....just ? her couple times n drop her
  • blakfyahking
    blakfyahking Members Posts: 15,785 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    wow this is a real ? thread

    that ? is WOAT feeling when you end up rather chilling with the kids more than the moms

    ain't really no easy solution to this situation.....just understand if you ain't trying to wife up the moms, in the end you gon have to cut them all back

    you ain't gon be able to explain to a new chick you trying to date as to why you still looking out for the sons of a chick that you not even with, and you aren't related to the kids by blood
  • American Loo VII 3D
    American Loo VII 3D Members Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    Simma II wrote: »
    You can't stay in a relationship because of the kids....kids that aren't yours....

    basically.

    i mean it sucks that they have that father role void, but if you aint with the mama aint much you can do fam. its not your fault.
  • usmarin3
    usmarin3 Members Posts: 38,013 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    lol this ? fell for the trap, never ever ever ever get emotionally invested with a chicks kids unless she is your wife.
  • caddo man
    caddo man Members Posts: 22,476 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    That vid is hilarious!

    Dude said the truth. If you are single with kids and you were never married. How are you an expert on relationships?
  • Djunior
    Djunior Members Posts: 851
    edited May 2010
    <
    Doesn't have a soft spot for another ? kids that aint fam.
  • J-GUTTA
    J-GUTTA Members Posts: 9,107 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    Damn that video was so on point B.

    To all the cats that can relate.

    CheersNorm-1.gif
  • King Erauno
    King Erauno Members Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    she shouldnt be letting u get close to the kids anyway. ? will damage them. especially if she got different dudes coming in and out. tell her like it is.
  • Fundz O' Plenty
    Fundz O' Plenty Members Posts: 10,382 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    ............................get............the.............? !!!!!!!!
  • TallmanfromFL
    TallmanfromFL Members Posts: 149
    edited May 2010
    ? u need to run for your LIFE

    I met a ? with a kid but ? crazy as ? tellin me she go thru every man phone when it been couple days of talkin.

    I'm thinkin that ? tryin to run me off plus I'm only there for the ? not tryin to be no damn daddy.

    1 day I was at five guys burger joint and ? text me talkin bout she wanna see me so I say OK when I get done eatin then ? talkin bout what u eatin so I told her then ? say "Damn U not gonna offer me and my daughter food from there" at first I wanna cuss her out so I shift into ? mode and told her what do u want to eat and u can pay me back when I bring the food then ? talkin bout she'll call me when she get home so I LOL cuz I knew she aint gonna call back.
  • blacklsoldier
    blacklsoldier Members Posts: 899
    edited July 2010
    ? u need to run for your LIFE

    I met a ? with a kid but ? crazy as ? tellin me she go thru every man phone when it been couple days of talkin.

    I'm thinkin that ? tryin to run me off plus I'm only there for the ? not tryin to be no damn daddy.

    1 day I was at five guys burger joint and ? text me talkin bout she wanna see me so I say OK when I get done eatin then ? talkin bout what u eatin so I told her then ? say "Damn U not gonna offer me and my daughter food from there" at first I wanna cuss her out so I shift into ? mode and told her what do u want to eat and u can pay me back when I bring the food then ? talkin bout she'll call me when she get home so I LOL cuz I knew she aint gonna call back.

    Damn bruh!
  • The Lonious Monk
    The Lonious Monk Members Posts: 26,258 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
    Just explain stuff to her like you did in this thread. Let her know that you have no interest being with her as a couple, but you do value your relationship with her kids and would like to remain in their lives. If she can't handle that, then you just gonna have to move on. That would be extremely selfish on her part though. If you're providing a role that her kids desperately need and want, but she would block that because her own feelings, then she's a poor mother to begin with.

    That said, you're a better man than I. If I'm not blood related, I have no feelings whatsoever towards kids. I don't even like my wife's lil nephew. Lil dude gets on my ? nerves.
  • Chef_Taylor
    Chef_Taylor Members Posts: 26,584 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
    Does the kids mom know this?Have you told her all of this