kamikaze mind

jayy.prime
jayy.prime Members Posts: 22
edited May 2010 in Waiting To Exhale
soo many words
but i dont know where to start
pulling words from the air
some i'm grabbing from the heart
sorry for the hiatus
i've failed to play my part
but what can i say
when ur blocked, ur blocked..
theres no inspiration
i can no longer pull it from the top
and drop a hot rhyme
in 5 minutes flat
such a ? ' dissapointment
i'll admit to that
it could be the depression
or it could just be a lesson
that i'm so much lesser...
than i used to be
more frail
less substance
than what used to be
i ? ' hate my man of 5 years
for what he does to me
but i'm used to him
and he claims he loves me
but i cant front
like the other feelings aren't there
sitting in an empty room
staring at that empty chair
wishing..
that somehow
he could be there
but i slap myself awake
"don't let your thoughts
stray to there"
i ? ' hate myself
for even beginning to go there
playing cat and mouse with myself
driving myself crazy
handfuls of hair
ripped out..eyes blazing
he's the old cassette i keep playing
trying to grab onto that old thing
but it just aint the same
when you give up and stick in
that new cd
you still want that old thing back
i can't relax
in my own home..
throat burns in my own home
sometimes i'm afraid to walk into my own home
and my only escape is into my mind
maybe thats my downfall
and my slide to insanity
too many thoughts flying around
my mind seriously lacks..boring symmetry
so it tries to destroy itself
in an act of valor
an act of bravery
to protect itself..perhaps
because it's always the same old time lapse
fast forward time with HIM
rewind it with number one
cap guns
bustin' off in my mind
banners of purple scribble
flying by
a beautiful mind??
or a crazy ? ?
sometimes i think, i'm just not equipped for this
but who else could channel their insanity like this?
a kamikaze mind..
and i'm proud of this ? .

Comments

  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited May 2010
    Dam Jay,

    you went all in on this one..

    I feel you on lack of inspiration, I'm there right now with poetry as well..as tho I'm at a battle with myself as well.

    I thought it was well illustrated, and had substance that I'm lacking haha..

    And thanx for sharing!

    Peace.
  • REAL_POETICAL
    REAL_POETICAL Members Posts: 347 ✭✭
    edited May 2010
    damn jay....you went in something fierce on this piece....i actually was feeling that way all last year...like literally losing my mind and can't stay focus on the prize to save my life...every line i can picture the craziness of isolation, lack of love, empty promises, and a way of escape...reading this make me realize that poetry is the ? lol...bottom line good work as always

    keep dropping those lines of key to lock called poetry my fellow poetress

    peace
  • jayy.prime
    jayy.prime Members Posts: 22
    edited May 2010
    thanks yall..i just can't even believe how i was ALWAYS inspired, always droppin' somethin' hot..now its like i come on the IC daily and NEVER post JACK and it makes me sooooo..... disappointed and ? lol..i try to get it back, but it refuses...and everybody knows u can't force it...but thanks for the feedback guys..mucho appreciated :)
  • BlackRoses
    BlackRoses Members Posts: 407
    edited May 2010
    jayy.prime wrote: »
    soo many words
    but i dont know where to start
    pulling words from the air
    some i'm grabbing from the heart
    sorry for the hiatus
    i've failed to play my part
    but what can i say
    when ur blocked, ur blocked..
    theres no inspiration
    i can no longer pull it from the top
    and drop a hot rhyme
    in 5 minutes flat
    such a ? ' dissapointment
    i'll admit to that
    it could be the depression
    or it could just be a lesson
    that i'm so much lesser...
    than i used to be
    more frail
    less substance
    than what used to be
    i ? ' hate my man of 5 years
    for what he does to me
    but i'm used to him
    and he claims he loves me
    but i cant front
    like the other feelings aren't there
    sitting in an empty room
    staring at that empty chair
    wishing..
    that somehow
    he could be there
    but i slap myself awake
    "don't let your thoughts
    stray to there"
    i ? ' hate myself
    for even beginning to go there
    playing cat and mouse with myself
    driving myself crazy
    handfuls of hair
    ripped out..eyes blazing
    he's the old cassette i keep playing
    trying to grab onto that old thing
    but it just aint the same
    when you give up and stick in
    that new cd
    you still want that old thing back
    i can't relax
    in my own home..
    throat burns in my own home
    sometimes i'm afraid to walk into my own home
    and my only escape is into my mind
    maybe thats my downfall
    and my slide to insanity
    too many thoughts flying around
    my mind seriously lacks..boring symmetry
    so it tries to destroy itself
    in an act of valor
    an act of bravery
    to protect itself..perhaps
    because it's always the same old time lapse
    fast forward time with HIM
    rewind it with number one
    cap guns
    bustin' off in my mind
    banners of purple scribble
    flying by
    a beautiful mind??
    or a crazy ? ?
    sometimes i think, i'm just not equipped for this
    but who else could channel their insanity like this?
    a kamikaze mind..
    and i'm proud of this ? .

    I feel u with this line...i promise myself that everytime i write a poem...make sure it comes from the heart
  • bl4ck
    bl4ck Members Posts: 47
    edited May 2010
    Jayy, i feel like i know you, though we obviously dont. but I appreciate you for this. thank you.
  • It's Mook!
    It's Mook! Members Posts: 23
    edited May 2010
    jayy.prime wrote: »
    thanks yall..i just can't even believe how i was ALWAYS inspired, always droppin' somethin' hot..now its like i come on the IC daily and NEVER post JACK and it makes me sooooo..... disappointed and ? lol..i try to get it back, but it refuses...and everybody knows u can't force it...but thanks for the feedback guys..mucho appreciated :)

    Lol, best believe that when yo ass do get inspired & write somethin its always on point. Just like dis one. Right now I feel like I'm on a hot streak as far as ? I wanna write but I know sometime soon I'ma get stuck & just wanna punch da monitor whenever u or anyone else drops somethin dope on here. On some "y can't I do THAT?!" ? .. lol much props.
  • jayy.prime
    jayy.prime Members Posts: 22
    edited May 2010
    It's Mook! wrote: »
    Lol, best believe that when yo ass do get inspired & write somethin its always on point. Just like dis one. Right now I feel like I'm on a hot streak as far as ? I wanna write but I know sometime soon I'ma get stuck & just wanna punch da monitor whenever u or anyone else drops somethin dope on here. On some "y can't I do THAT?!" ? .. lol much props.

    mannnnn!! i do the SAME ? ! Like, dmn..why didn't I think of that??? lol..but yoo..txt me or smthn so we can work out something for me you an RP to tackle..its about that time! lol
  • VSOP
    VSOP Members Posts: 195 ✭✭
    edited May 2010
    bout time you get ya country ass back in here and drop some knowledge--you still got it jay