True Life: I'm a woman, I don't want kids, and marriage isn't a priority
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I don't want no damn kids. But marriage is a priority. I didn't spend on that time learning how to cook, clean, sew, and do other domestic things for me to spend all my time doing it alone. But I feel you on the no kids thing. I've never been interested in having any. But at the same time, I'm never gonna say never cause I might get with a man that I totally feel like I HAVEEEE to procreate with just for the sake of the world. He would have to be like Mozart though. Or Vivaldi.
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DEE-LICIOUS wrote: »I don't want no damn kids. But marriage is a priority. I didn't spend on that time learning how to cook, clean, sew, and do other domestic things for me to spend all my time doing it alone. But I feel you on the no kids thing. I've never been interested in having any. But at the same time, I'm never gonna say never cause I might get with a man that I totally feel like I HAVEEEE to procreate with just for the sake of the world. He would have to be like Mozart though. Or Vivaldi.
If you dont want his kids I can donate some sperm. I have good genes! As long as you dont have sickle cell trait! -
So no matter what a Woman acomplishes, if she chooses not to procreate she lost at life? Are you serious.....??
no not really
the basic moral of my story is that money ain't everything and a lot of women talmbout they ain't interested in kids usually say chasing money is more important to them
now if a woman decides she doesn't want to be a parent, I'm not going to prejudge
it's just in my honest opinion, most people who claim they have regrets over their children would never trade them for these other measures of success all the childless people aspire to
money ain't ? once you got it
but dying as a old person with ya kids, grandkids, and great grandkids around you is worth more than people give it credit for -
blakfyahking wrote: »no not really
the basic moral of my story is that money ain't everything and a lot of women talmbout they ain't interested in kids usually say chasing money is more important to them
now if a woman decides she doesn't want to be a parent, I'm not going to prejudge
it's just in my honest opinion, most people who claim they have regrets over their children would never trade them for these other measures of success all the childless people aspire to
money ain't ? once you got it
but dying as a old person with ya kids, grandkids, and great grandkids around you is worth more than people give it credit for
truth, church, it's offering time, play some marching music -
If you dont want his kids I can donate some sperm. I have good genes! As long as you dont have sickle cell trait!
lmao! I got tested for that when I was like 6 too lol i dont have the trait! But yea- if you cannot compose soul stirring classical music, I'm not interested in your sperm. Those genes ain't for me. -
So you don't think Oprah could've had a Husband, and kids if she wanted to?
with all that money, it aint that easy -
So wait, now Haute is destined to spend life as a jump off because she chooses not to be a Wife and Mother?:-/
Your logic here is flawed, it's as if you view Women as objects, that have to fufill the purpose you set for them. Women are human beings, we are free to make our own choices as to what we do with our lives, and our bodies. Just because some of us choose to reject the roles society has for us, doesn't mean that we are less "Womanly", and worthy of love than our counterparts that do.....
Society doesn't provide you the role of wife and mother. ? does, nature does. Thats why only women can give birth. Women are mothers before they are even wives. Society provides the role of the wife, but ? provided you the role of mother. There was no town meeting stating ok the decision is made, women are the only ones who cn give birth, thats just natural and how it is. So your logic is flawed.
If you read my statement I said I was not trying to change anyones mind after showing me who they are. So your "it's as if" statement is just poor perception on your part. I respected your view, you said you rather have a condo then a baby. Cool, I never said you shouldn't do that, not once. I simply stated you would be the perfect jumpoff. I didn't say you will be a jump off for life. I simply stated you are the perfect jumpoff. Thats my opinion and other people agree. We made that decision and formed that perception based on the view of life that you and HAUTE provided. Why would I view you as wifey material when you don't want to be a wife or a mother.....so I view you as a jump off. Thats perfect logic.
I think it's just hard for you to accept because I'm stating it bluntly. Its stupid to view someone as motherly or wife material, when they don't want to be wives or mothers. Get it right lady. Pick what side of the fence your gonna stand on. -
but my question for her would how did she define happiness and did she actively pursue happinessreal talk, i once met a female who had a similiar outlook, and while we were talking there was a huge awkwardness because we both knew ? would only go but so far, cuz we both wanted different things outta life...(family/kids wise) but we got along great, and ? was definitely fun while it lasted
fast forward a couple of years....we saw eachother on yahoo messenger, and she says she kinda regrets being so hard and stubborn about that ? , she feels she missed out on something beautiful, especially given that i'm quite comfortable in a relationship that's taking me towards that family direction....she doesn't know what the hell she wants now....cuz her head and her plan tells her no kids.....marriage isn't a priority...
but she kinda feels a sort of resentment towards those who found happiness in their families that they built....
not saying that will be you, but just something to swish around
People assume that if your not having babies that means you're doing nothing with your time an resources and that's simply not true
I mean if I were to define happiness by the narrow view some of you have, that means mother Theresa was a miserable woman
Please
just because I have a ? doesn't mean personal fulfillment and happiness has to start there -
but my question for her would how did she define happiness and did she actively pursue happiness
People assume that if your not having babies that means you're doing nothing with your time an resources and that's simply not true
I mean if I were to define happiness by the narrow view some of you have, that means mother Theresa was a miserable woman
Please
just because I have a ? doesn't mean personal fulfillment and happiness has to start there
she was going for her graduate in psychology, and i think she's up to a doctraet now, and they advise her to stay waya from romantic relationships as u won't have enough time to put towards them...and ? was fine and going according to plan until she met me....and i was in complete understanding of the situation, i wouldn't feel neglected because of school, i was actually encouraging towards the whole venture... but when she started catching feelings that were too strong for what made sense to her for her situation, ? got weird, and we jsut parted ways....
since then she's fell back to her plan...school/career first.. no close relationships... but when we talked one day on yahoo, she had to confess that that ? really ? with her for a while...and even now....cuz she got her degrees, but she feels like she lost out on something -
she was going for her graduate in psychology, and i think she's up to a doctraet now, and they advise her to stay waya from romantic relationships as u won't have enough time to put towards them...and ? was fine and going according to plan until she met me....and i was in complete understanding of the situation, i wouldn't feel neglected because of school, i was actually encouraging towards the whole venture... but when she started catching feelings that were too strong for what made sense to her for her situation, ? got weird, and we jsut parted ways....
since then she's fell back to her plan...school/career first.. no close relationships... but when we talked one day on yahoo, she had to confess that that ? really ? with her for a while...and even now....cuz she got her degrees, but she feels like she lost out on something
You speakin the truth brotha, some folk dont learn tillits they turn....if they knew better they'd do better. lmao
But forreal, i had an identical situation, almost to a tee. The point that a lot of people, not just women, dont realize, is that the crazy thing about dreams and goals is that you may ACTUALLY obtain them!!! THEN WHAT!!
Thts when that crazy thing called life starts. Everyone reaches a point of content...some at 25, some at 40...but it will happen. Thats where kids and family come in -
So no matter what a Woman acomplishes, if she chooses not to procreate she lost at life? Are you serious.....??
He may not be serious, but, well, basically. Think about what you just said. Lost at LIFE. Keyword, LIFE!!! LMAO, as in the product of a women's ? . If every woman didnt want to have kids it would result in the end of the world. LITERALLY, the end of the world.
Its not objectification of women, or old fashinoned thinking, nobody's forcin you to do anything, its just biological fact. -
so basically she allowed someone else to dictate her happinessshe was going for her graduate in psychology, and i think she's up to a doctraet now, and they advise her to stay waya from romantic relationships as u won't have enough time to put towards them...and ? was fine and going according to plan until she met me....and i was in complete understanding of the situation, i wouldn't feel neglected because of school, i was actually encouraging towards the whole venture... but when she started catching feelings that were too strong for what made sense to her for her situation, ? got weird, and we jsut parted ways....
since then she's fell back to her plan...school/career first.. no close relationships... but when we talked one day on yahoo, she had to confess that that ? really ? with her for a while...and even now....cuz she got her degrees, but she feels like she lost out on something
sounds like she would of had issues kids or no kids
she wasn't looking for the right thing
And what she did isn't what I'm proposing, I had personal relationship while persuing both of my degrees, I'm not anti relationship
I just know children aren't for me -
Seriously, I don't
And it's not a knock against mothers, its just not something I desire for myself
Many think women are biggest critics of a woman not wanting children
But I find that men are the ones who cast the most judgement
The same ones, screaming no marriage, no this, no that
Are the same ones quick to talk ? about a woman choosing to do what she wants for her body and her future
I've dated guys who at first, thought it was cool, or maybe just didnt take what I said seriously
but as we progress and get more serious, all of a sudden it becomes this big deal
Im like "dude, I told you thats not what I want for my future, you and your mom need to ? "
its annoying
FYI if your under 23 stay the ? outta this convo
Ahh, if only there were more women like you. 9 out of ten women I meet these days either have a kid or want one. Keep doing you, and best believe you will have a happier life than most mothers out there. Marriage in my opinion is overrated, but I'm open to it someday, but like you, it's not a priority.
? KIDS!!!!!!!! -
mostvigorousone wrote: »Haute you just wanna get ? really good and then be left alone, don't you?
I ain't mad at that...
How can anyone hate on that? Kids are annoying after awhile, with all the diapers and report cards, kids are a big headache after awhile. It's no surprise so many dudes deny their kids out there, real ? know having a kid is no fun for the most part. It may be sweet during some moments, but I prefer my freedom and PS3 over any kid invading my space 24/7. I wana smoke my weed and blow it out without having a crying infant whining about ? . -
well that was a large part of our beef was that i felt she just had no real grasp over what she wanted in life, and it's not a reflection of everyone, just a story i felt the need to share when i poked my head in ur thread...so basically she allowed someone else to dictate her happiness
sounds like she would of had issues kids or no kids
she wasn't looking for the right thing
And what she did isn't what I'm proposing, I had personal relationship while persuing both of my degrees, I'm not anti relationship
I just know children aren't for me
just hoping this decision isn't someinthg u don't regret further down the road when u start reflecting on ur life and oppertunities and relationships that were passed up on because u felt u didn't want at the time -
she was going for her graduate in psychology, and i think she's up to a doctraet now, and they advise her to stay waya from romantic relationships as u won't have enough time to put towards them...and ? was fine and going according to plan until she met me....and i was in complete understanding of the situation, i wouldn't feel neglected because of school, i was actually encouraging towards the whole venture... but when she started catching feelings that were too strong for what made sense to her for her situation, ? got weird, and we jsut parted ways....
since then she's fell back to her plan...school/career first.. no close relationships... but when we talked one day on yahoo, she had to confess that that ? really ? with her for a while...and even now....cuz she got her degrees, but she feels like she lost out on something
@ the bolded...interesting.... -
Oooor maybe she's just a Woman that chose to build her empire, instead of having kids. Oprah has numerous Charities in which she donates bucket loads of her time and money for the development of children. She is far from selfish.........
Great post.....people without kids can be some of the most generous people out there......
And for the idiots in here saying no man will wife a woman who doesn't want kids, take a look at Oprah....Steadman seems pretty happy with her. -
kingblaze84 wrote: »Great post.....people without kids can be some of the most generous people out there......
And for the idiots in here saying no man will wife a woman who doesn't want kids, take a look at Oprah....Steadman seems pretty happy with her.
that's cuz Steadman has a daughter and money of his own already... -
Yung_Souf_Money wrote: »you dont want to be sleeping around with different dudes for the rest of your life
There are plenty of MOTHERS who do the same thing genius...... -
that's cuz Steadman has a daughter and money of his own already...
Well all I know is that several men in here, including myself, would be more than happy to wife up a woman who doesn't want kids. If I met a good woman who doesn't want kids in the near future, best believe me and millions of other ? out here are gonna try to wife that up. Kids are annoying as ? when they live with you, but if you feel otherwise, knock yourself out. -
DEE-LICIOUS wrote: »lmao! I got tested for that when I was like 6 too lol i dont have the trait! But yea- if you cannot compose soul stirring classical music, I'm not interested in your sperm. Those genes ain't for me.
I can compose a soul stir redention(sp) of Bach or the 35th Oventure by beat boxing. Does that count LOL! -
kingblaze84 wrote: »Well all I know is that several men in here, including myself, would be more than happy to wife up a woman who doesn't want kids. If I met a good woman who doesn't want kids in the near future, best believe me and millions of other ? out here are gonna try to wife that up. Kids are annoying as ? when they live with you, but if you feel otherwise, knock yourself out.
im not knocking what you want, Im just saying in the situation you pointed out with Oprah and Steadman he's most likely ok with her not wanting kids cuz he already had a daughter before they met...if I already had a child I'd probably be willing to be with a woman who didn't want to birth children of her own, but I know for a fact because I want kids I could never be with a woman that under no circumstances wanted to raise a child...that's just how I and other people feel about it...but some people aren't meant to be parents and damn sure shouldn't be allowed to procreate -
im not knocking what you want, Im just saying in the situation you pointed out with Oprah and Steadman he's most likely ok with her not wanting kids cuz he already had a daughter before they met...if I already had a child I'd probably be willing to be with a woman who didn't want to birth children of her own, but I know for a fact because I want kids I could never be with a woman that under no circumstances wanted to raise a child...that's just how I and other people feel about it...but some people aren't meant to be parents and damn sure shouldn't be allowed to procreate
You might be right about Steadman but in the long run, kids are just a huge source of stress for people. The best part about kids though is that someone who has them will or might have a nice generation of kids to look after them, plus it looks good for family albums. However, someone like me has a lot of friends and family anyway, so having a kid or two won't make much of a difference to me. If I wana be around a whole bunch of kids, I can always go to my homegirl's house, she has 3 kids who live with her.....out of the 6 she had. -
He may not be serious, but, well, basically. Think about what you just said. Lost at LIFE. Keyword, LIFE!!! LMAO, as in the product of a women's ? . If every woman didnt want to have kids it would result in the end of the world. LITERALLY, the end of the world.
Its not objectification of women, or old fashinoned thinking, nobody's forcin you to do anything, its just biological fact.
Nah that's all ? . There's no way in hell someone "lost at life" if they don't have a kid. Oprah is a bigger winner in life than Shenene in the projects who has 6 kids by 6 different baby daddies. -
edwardnigma wrote: »I don't see a point in trying to convince somebody with a strong opinion like this otherwise. She's showing us who she is. She doesn't like kids she referred to them as "They Snotty ? ". That ? was crazy lol she said the only kids a dude could have would have to be 14/15....Those aren't even kids, those are teenagers, teenagers have sex lol they're pre adults.
So IMO Haute is saying she's a jump off. Come and go as she pleases,all that free the world make a change ? is Bull.
Most normal people are working towards being stable enough to have a family. The whole world keeps moving by procreation(it's a problem when you have to be that literal).
So when a human being says what she's saying , it basically amounts to don't take me serious, just ? me, give me money and keep it pushing.
Most of the women who say they don't want kids, are saying they would rather have money. They to me, sound like the perfect sidewoman. She just wants ? and maybe a few dollas. You ? them and leave them alone. Tell them yeah I'm on the same level, yeah u my girl, yea yeah yeah, ummm can you go by the condoms(check), you on birth control(check), and have your damn fun with them. When you meet your real dream woman wholesome girl, wants to have a fam and such, you leave the hautes.
When and if you Divorce, go back with the HAUTES lol
I say don't convince someone otherwise or catch feelings, use them as they would like to be used.
stupidest ? I ever wasted my time to read
