in my mind, he was you...
Options
jayy.prime
Members Posts: 22
woke up
makeup smeared, hair frizzed
7am..long nite of
broken feelings and rough sex
im sittin' vexed
because he no longer makes me happy
no sappy love song here
my other man called at 2:23
and i find myself ready to pick it up
my man asks
"? , does he know you got a boyfriend?"
yeah..but he doesn't respect us
correction, he doesn't respect you
and who can really blame him?
because he knows i really hate you
all the nightly disappearances
and emotional abuse
spats and blame sessions
between me and you
the late night phone calls
where he always answers
all the tears he's been a witness to
but he can't help but wait..
till i get back with you..
? don't change
he hates you..as well as I
you've ruined me..
one of the most perfect designs
you're busted ass would ever come across
but i blame myself
because i let it get this far
the controlling nature
your empty threats
i pack my bags to take a vacation
you're on the other side emptying my ?
grab me by the neck
"you ain't going nowhere ? "
*sigh*
he prays i'll leave you
"i can't blame him for needing you"
he says..and every fiber of me aches for him
fakes for him
goes through the motions of cheating with him
i'm so deep in it with him
that when i ? my man i feel like im cheating on him
the feelings of guilt
and pain
and missing him
and needing him
and breathing him
he says "i know you'll die for me
but baby i need you to live for me
he doesn't believe in you
just like me..
doesn't see you through the eyes that i see
everything you are and can be"
i take a breath and hate myself
for being with number one
yet letting myself fall in love with number two
a cold blue is my heart
between the two
so for now i'll sit in my misery
bump unthinkable by alicia keys
and wish that HE
was you...
makeup smeared, hair frizzed
7am..long nite of
broken feelings and rough sex
im sittin' vexed
because he no longer makes me happy
no sappy love song here
my other man called at 2:23
and i find myself ready to pick it up
my man asks
"? , does he know you got a boyfriend?"
yeah..but he doesn't respect us
correction, he doesn't respect you
and who can really blame him?
because he knows i really hate you
all the nightly disappearances
and emotional abuse
spats and blame sessions
between me and you
the late night phone calls
where he always answers
all the tears he's been a witness to
but he can't help but wait..
till i get back with you..
? don't change
he hates you..as well as I
you've ruined me..
one of the most perfect designs
you're busted ass would ever come across
but i blame myself
because i let it get this far
the controlling nature
your empty threats
i pack my bags to take a vacation
you're on the other side emptying my ?
grab me by the neck
"you ain't going nowhere ? "
*sigh*
he prays i'll leave you
"i can't blame him for needing you"
he says..and every fiber of me aches for him
fakes for him
goes through the motions of cheating with him
i'm so deep in it with him
that when i ? my man i feel like im cheating on him
the feelings of guilt
and pain
and missing him
and needing him
and breathing him
he says "i know you'll die for me
but baby i need you to live for me
he doesn't believe in you
just like me..
doesn't see you through the eyes that i see
everything you are and can be"
i take a breath and hate myself
for being with number one
yet letting myself fall in love with number two
a cold blue is my heart
between the two
so for now i'll sit in my misery
bump unthinkable by alicia keys
and wish that HE
was you...
Comments
-
whhhhhaaattt???!!? damn jay---you on the other side of the mirror of my relationship huh? lol straight up lol i read this ? through twice-GREAT piece, you know ya boy can relate
keep droppin that ? up relationship ? that we call love *as real p would say* -
LOL at vsop's comments..
Aye j,
This was nice, I feel it with my previous relationship... I was just a miserable as the relationship and glad I had let it go..
Keep expressing yourself, and I'm sure its thearpy for the heart :-) -
and stop bein the female version of me lol that might help
"poppa raised a playa, so playa---i played her" -
lol jay you is the truth...the way you went in on this piece is something amazing...got the vibe of a woman wanting out and a man misunderstanding a woman's worth...plus the emotions carry through the lines brought me on edge of my seat...bottom line good work as always
keep droppin the lines of second doubt and a visual escape called poetry my fellow poetress
peace -
thanks for the props folks..just had a major need to vent, and forced it all out in this piece..vsop, i'm the female version of you? hmm..i can definitely see it...remind me to never get into it with you, we may just ? each other..haa...jk jk...anywho, thanks again for the props guys..just needed a release for the heartache..and as always, this was the perfect spot.
