Married...Open Relationship with Major Kinks
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CaliGurl
Members Posts: 17
My husband and I have an open relationship with a few rules. The major rule is this one chick with "history" is off limits, but anyone else is fair game. Went into this ish with the intention of having a honest relationship with integrity, but I'll admit it wasn't my first choice but rather an attempt at gaining something better than what I've built with previous relationships. I fell for the dude mad quick, had a whirlwind relationship and ended up marrying him 7 months ago. 7 days after we married he was with this itch again, and it devastated me but i didn't leave. About 4 f'up's later we are 7 months down the road. I have tried everything to stabilize our situation and keep this chick out the picture. But the sad fact is he just can't seem to land any other chicks and keep them around, so this one always becomes the go to because she straight makes herself convienent to the in and out hoping one day she will get more from him (despite him being married). I took my marriage vows seriously, but how much ish am i really supposed to take? I just want some feedback if anyone else has dealt with a similar situation... am I just wasting my time waiting around for things to get right? or should I keep moving forward hoping that he can shake this chick out his system?
Comments
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wasting your time
in my flawed opinion of course -
whats the point of getting married if the relationship is going to be open?...takes the fun out of cheating...
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Co sign pico
I don't knock open relationships/marriages
But respect and loyalty is important
If he can't even handle that one request
? idk
You already said I do, so you might as well see a marriage counselor first -
Lol you workin backwards...you dont START with an open relationship you end with one. Secondly how did you expect to work this ? out honestly? If the dude needed to have an open relationship to marry you that aint the first sign of a pending divorce? Why did you get married if all youre going to be was a doormat? He couldve got a door mat at walmart and it wouldve been cheaper and he dont gotta feed it.
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My husband and I have an open relationship with a few rules. The major rule is this one chick with "history" is off limits, but anyone else is fair game. Went into this ish with the intention of having a honest relationship with integrity, but I'll admit it wasn't my first choice but rather an attempt at gaining something better than what I've built with previous relationships. I fell for the dude mad quick, had a whirlwind relationship and ended up marrying him 7 months ago. 7 days after we married he was with this itch again, and it devastated me but i didn't leave. About 4 f'up's later we are 7 months down the road. I have tried everything to stabilize our situation and keep this chick out the picture. But the sad fact is he just can't seem to land any other chicks and keep them around, so this one always becomes the go to because she straight makes herself convienent to the in and out hoping one day she will get more from him (despite him being married). I took my marriage vows seriously, but how much ish am i really supposed to take? I just want some feedback if anyone else has dealt with a similar situation... am I just wasting my time waiting around for things to get right? or should I keep moving forward hoping that he can shake this chick out his system?
ima keep it real, u gotta keep up with the times, these monogamous relationship is becoming a thing of the past ...
since u have doubt leaving, i'm guessing ? is putting it down really good... sexually, emotionally,physically and financially etc.
I say get in a convo with him, about him and "her" without getting ya EMOTIONS involved, even if something is bothering u, don't show it...
anywayz get in a convo n see where dude head is at with him n the other shawty... the cooler u act , the more he will open.. the more u kno about why he's attached the better 4 u, ya dig...
u have a chance 2 make history don't listen 2 these other ? .. -
This is a mess. And having an open marriage s not something you just that shouldn't be a "wasn't my first choice but...." If you're not 100% into it, it will cause major problems, even if history girl wasn't in the picture. Since this situation is not working for you, you gotta let him know. If he loved you enough to marry you, maybe he will let that lifestyle go. If he doesn't want to, well then you two just don't need to be together.
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this is what happens almost every time when people just jump into ? without really thinking it through.
that's all I got lol Chicks continue to make the same ? decisions over and over again. There's nothing that can stop it lol all You can do is laugh at the ? at this point.
word to 17 year old tupac
and this song is dedicated to your dude. -
lol at all the females in here giving it to her soft smh. I bet yall the type of chicks who let yall friends walk around looking crazy. But instead of telling her the truth yall be like "girrrrrrrrrl, you look good they just hating". then soon as she turn her back "now she know ? damn well she look crazy as hell with that on".
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Get your revenge by letting a real ? like me pipe.
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Honestly, you need to find out where you left your self-esteem and go pick it up. If one of your girls were telling you this exact same story, what would you tell her?!
How are YOU trying to get this girl out of his life? That's not your responsibility...it's HIS.
The man won't even respect you enough to honor that one little request and you're waiting around?! For what?!
You got the marriage license, but your husband is HER man.
Laaawwddd!!!! -
? u dumb as hell.
u dont even deserve advice. Just stay married to that ? cuz obviously you and he know he's the best u can do.
Stop making decisions with ya ? u ? rat. -
wtf
He is wasting your time.
Don't be that girl..? him. -
I have a great idea for an open relationship... with rules.
She can feel free to have the most deep, intellectual conversations with a ? , but dont ? him.
And i'll have wild ravenous sex with hoes, and wont talk to them.
We both get what we need. -
I have a great idea for an open relationship... with rules.
She can feel free to have the most deep, intellectual conversations with a ? , but dont ? him.
And i'll have wild ravenous sex with hoes, and wont talk to them.
We both get what we need.
gtfoh......... -
So...he can ? any girl he wants except one, and he's still ? that one? Let me ask you, are YOU allowed to have sex with other men in this "open relationship"?
I may be biased but I have little faith in marriage as it is, so an open marriage nowadays isn't far-fetched although IMO it defeats the purpose of marriage. Bottom line, you didn't ask to be respected as a wife should be, and he doesn't have the smallest ounce of respect for you if he won't listen to ONE rule you put in place. You're doing yourself a disservice. Pick up and leave now before the last shred of self esteem you have for yourself is gone. -
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Get your marriage annulled now. I agree with the person that said "your husband" is HER man. That is not going away.
Ever.
Unless you want go all old-school fake Afrocentric and bring her in as a co-wife, move on now and next time slow down...bring a parachute so when you "fall hard" you have time to see where you're supposed to land. He knew the whole time she was gonna be the one; that "open relationship" bit was a way to get you to agree to let him keep messing with her. Face it, you got got.
I'm old so I don't post here often...but I've been married for a while. Trust a married man on this one if you listen to nothing else today. -
I dont' get open relationships ... especailly when you are MARRIED
How can you be okay with your man ? someone else or calling yourself a wife while getting dicked down by another man ????
Glorified cheating is what it should be called -
mssouthernthang wrote: »I dont' get open relationships ... especailly when you are MARRIED
How can you be okay with your man ? someone else or calling yourself a wife while getting dicked down by another man ????
Glorified cheating is what it should be called
The irony in this is that in most cultures, men are traditionally allowed to take on more than one wife if they can afford them.
How do married couples deal with knowing that their partners are attracted to other people whether they act on their attraction or not, certain possible consequences in specific scenarios would make acting on that attraction unwise but as a matter of principle, I don't see why people make the distinction (between their partner's attraction to other people and their acting on it), it seems arbitrary and vague to me. Most would probably think it's a bad comparison but if you're fine with your friends having other friends, I don't see how letting your partner have sex with others goes against the "purpose" of marriage.
'Cheating' implies that agreed upon rules have been violated. People in open relationships don't agree to behave monogamously so they're not 'cheating' when they don't. -
The irony in this is that in most cultures, men are traditionally allowed to take on more than one wife if they can afford them.
How do married couples deal with knowing that their partners are attracted to other people whether they act on their attraction or not, certain possible consequences in specific scenarios would make acting on that attraction unwise but as a matter of principle, I don't see why people make the distinction (between their partner's attraction to other people and their acting on it), it seems arbitrary and vague to me. Most would probably think it's a bad comparison but if you're fine with your friends having other friends, I don't see how letting your partner have sex with others goes against the "purpose" of marriage.
'Cheating' implies that agreed upon rules have been violated. People in open relationships don't agree to behave monogamously so they're not 'cheating' when they don't.
Well that is not how we roll in my world..... IMO it's glorified cheating.
I would NEVER EVER EVER be okay with something like this. -
Well he broke the only rule you gave him.
Think about it, would he stay if the situation was reversed. -
mssouthernthang wrote: »Well that is not how we roll in my world..... IMO it's glorified cheating.
I would NEVER EVER EVER be okay with something like this.
Your opinion is wrong.1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: he cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: he was accused of cheating at cards.
If you don't want to have an open relationship, you're free to not have one. -
Damn.. he gets open season on the chocha... yet he keeps breaking that one rule and getting back with that one chick who is off limits? lol
das fugged up. -
lol @ the one rule.......the one rule he has and he still ? it up! (pun intended)
Kinda like that one tree and Eve's ? going in for that forbidden fruit lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHupoARLAVU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWqOImoeedc
