Michael Bay’s Edgy ‘Ninja Turtles’ Script Has Leaked.. SMDH...
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uproxx.com/webculture/2012/08/michael-bay-ninja-turtles-script-leak/
So, hey, remember when we all choked on our pizza at the idea of Michael Bay ruining our childhoods by making a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, minus the Teenage and Mutant? Well, it turns out we had good reason to. In June, Paramount shut down production of the film, which was slated to be released in December 2013; the studio is now aiming for May 2014 so more time can be spent “restructuring” things. Because oh boy, is it awful. A Ninja Turtles fansite, TMNTnotTANT, got their mitts on an alleged copy of the script, and they write:
A little more than a week ago, I was able to get my hands on the TANT script in order to figure out if all of our worst fears were realized, once and for all. Were the turtles really written in as aliens? Is the script a clever adaptation, or just another Michael Bay ? -fest? I have the answer…It’s worse than anyone could have ever imagined. And since production on the movie was canceled, I see no problem in summarizing the parts I read (that is, the parts of the script I read until I got angry and just stopped reading).
FYI: Shredder has been renamed General Schrader. (Hank?) Michael Bay, you’ve done it again.
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comicbookmovie.com/news/?a=66313Captain Obvious Reviews: NINJA TURLES SCRIPT [MASSIVE SPOILERS]
First off, I should point out I did not grow up on TMNT. I was born in the early 90's and never watched the original cartoon. But amoviee should be good despite whether or not you're familiar with the source material. I found the script when somebody posted a link in their review. As someone aspiring for a career in film, I wanted to check this script out for myself and see if the reviewer was right about it being bad.
Unfortunately, he was.
18 year old Casey Jones is going nowhere in life. His friends have moved on. His girlfriend April O' Neal has a prosperous career in NYC. He also works a security guard at a furniture factory. But all of that changes when one night, he stumbles upon a secret underground government hideout and finds four humanoid turtles. From there, he and the reptilian "mutants" uncover a plot to destroy Earth and are set on a course to discovering the Turtles' secret past.
As you can probably tell from this synopsis, the focus of this story is exactly where you don't want it to be. It's also the script's biggest problem. Casey Jones is the focus here and not the Ninja Turtles like you would expect in amoviee called "Ninja Turtles." You would think that would be bad enough. But no. This script goes out of its way to make Casey an annoying, unlikable character. Here, April wants him to come with her to NYC, but Casey always rebuttals that he has "big" responsiblities at home. However, his responsibilities consist of playing hockey with men in their 30's and 40's, and working as a security guard. He just doesn't know a good opportunity when he sees it.
Even though I know little about TMNT, I know well enough that Casey is supposed to be a young adult and a vigilante. Here, he's just some punk who gets caught up in an interdimensional war and somehow becomes the central focus of the story. Sound familiar to another film based on an 80's franchise that Bay was involved with? Another problem here is April. In the show, despite always being the damsel in distress, she was willing to throw herself into danger to get her job done. Here, she's made as nothing more than just a prize for Casey. On top of that, she's a stupid character. She wants Casey to come with her to NYC because she has an intership at CBS News. What could Casey possibly do in New York? He's a typical deadbeat boyfriend who will only hold her back. You should know by now that Bay does not understand women.
You probably want to know about the Turtles now. You really wish you hadn't. Remember the days when they were fun-loving masters of ninjistu? Those days are gone. Now, the Turtles are just brooding, bickering heroes. Sure, some parts of their personalities are the same. But they never seem to find any enjoyment in their mission. They're determined to get the job done, but they're not confident and optimistic like we know them to be. Plus, Raphael is the most obnoxious of the group. He's just an angry, whiny brat who has some of the worst lines in the script. Every attempt of his at being funny fails. Don't believe me? Here's a line from the script:
"Kung Fu? What do we look like... cartoon Panda bears?"
As you've probably guessed from that line, the dialouge is pretty terrible. Almost every joke in thismoviee is a witty pop culture reference. It's like those two hacks (They Who Must Not Be Named) who wrote Epic Movie and Disaster Movie got ahold of this script. I'll admit, one scene did make me chuckle. When the Turtles stow away in April's U-Haul truck, Casey goes to a gas station and gets them pizza. They procede to criticize the quality of it and compare it to other pizzas they like. It makes me wish every scene was like that.
I'm going to get the character stuff out of the way since I've spent several paragraphs writing about it. This script has a bad case of Spider-Man 3 syndrome. Too many villains and none of them given proper time to develop. There are 4 villains in this movie: Shredder (Here, a colonel named Schrader. ? , shot me.), Krang (Who only has 2 lines of dialouge and doesn't come in until the 3rd act.), Bebop, and Rocksteady. The latter two are the only ones who resemble and act like the versions fans know and love. Shredder is given the worst treatment of them all. He's been so altered that the writers might as well just cut him and replace him with a new character. Splinter is okay, but he's pretty weak. In everyactionn scene where he's present, he is always getting his ass kicked.
While the script isn't that good for the first 80 pages are so, it's still just a genericactionn flick and has not dived into the realm of stupidity. That all changes in the third act. You know that whole "Ninja Turtles being aliens" angle that you all hated so much? They manage to screw up their own take, too. Yes, the idea is dumb as hell. But seeing how it is the writer's idea, you would think they would be careful not to screw it up. Somehow, they find a way. The Turtles are aliens, but they're from Dimension X and the prophecy tells that they are the Chosen Ones destined to save both worlds. This is where I laughed the hardest and stopped reading for awhile.
Forget whether or not you hate the concept of them being aliens. Realize that they are trying to make their idea work with some of the dumbest and worst cliches in cinema history. Every tired "Chosen one" cliche is used here. Parents being killed by the villain (Krang). Children being sent away for their safety and to one day bring about peace. Said children not discovering their destiny and mysterious pasts until adulthood. The laughable content and stupid cliches are why this plot point cannot work. It's as if the writers gave up and stopped putting effort and believing in their work. If they don't care, why should the audience?
The bottom line is the Ninja Turtles script is every fanboy's nightmare come alive. It butchers the source material without taking new risks or creating new ideas to make up for it. There is only a few spots of potential in here, but it's all squandered under the weight of it's unoriginality and stupidity. No passion exists in this script. It's just written as another cash cow that Hollywood will milk beyond death. I'm aware this is being rewritten, but with Bay watching over this project like the devil looks down upon his damned souls, I have little hope this will be improved on. I've read very few scripts, but Ninja Turtles is easily the worst one I've ever read.
Final score: 4 out of 10.
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LMAO General Schrader
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So its basically like that Street Fighter movie that was supposed to be a GI Joe movie? Same story different name and characters.
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This ? basically took the script from the first Transformers and changed the name to Ninja Turtles
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I wanna knock michael bay the ? out in slow ? transformers cgi mode b.
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Just read the spoilers...
I'm speechless. -
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Damn @ that script!!!
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? must have been smoking bath salts when he wrote the script, I don't wanna see that ? .
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Thank ? this didnt get the last airbender treatment. Everyone involved wouldve had to die slowly
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I'm shocked he gave it a 4 outta 10. That ? is like -3. Smh. Casey at 18? Really? Smh. C'mon man. He might as well name it "Casey feat. The Dimension X Reptiles".
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Pyscho ? is not getting my money anymore. Even if a Bad Boys 3 comes out...I'm bootlegging that ? as a direct ? you to the jewish schmuck
? dude... -
Lol at general hank schrader. Took time off from break bad. Bruh...if the turtles aint the main characters...wtf is the point of the movie. April is a grown woman...none of this teen ? micheal ? . Im glad the turtle fans stoof up and got the stupid to axe it and rewrite this ? . Unlike transformer fans who stayed quiet.
Im all for serious darker turtles but not with micheal bay, however he gets points for bebop and rocksteady...since they stayed faithful a bit and where teens. -
Bay is a clown who makes movies for clowns! He's just lucky that there are millions and millions of them out there.
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darkone360 wrote: »I'm shocked he gave it a 4 outta 10. That ? is like -3. Smh. Casey at 18? Really? Smh. C'mon man. He might as well name it "Casey feat. The Dimension X Reptiles".
in his defense he didn't know the history...lol -
Bay jus said ? errbody...i can see it now...April running around through the whole movie in heels, not to mention she's played by a british model. Every scene has a gigantic explosion, the turtles floatin around on alien versions of jet propelled manhole covers...this movie will be GOAT as ?
that script made my old post seem like a better scenario...
Bay dont give a ? -
the same people who were involved with the 2007 TMNT movie should be involved with this one..
point blank period... -
i shall not waste my money on such movie that is trying to destroy my childhood
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Haul Judos wrote: »the same people who were involved with the 2007 TMNT movie should be involved with this one..
point blank period...
Same with the Justice League movie... Just give it to the people who do the animated movies and step back... -
Haul Judos wrote: »the same people who were involved with the 2007 TMNT movie should be involved with this one..
point blank period...
Same with the Justice League movie... Just give it to the people who do the animated movies and step back...
Stop it...don't be ridiculous. -
Bay is a clown who makes movies for clowns! He's just lucky that there are millions and millions of them out there.
Real talk. The guy is a joke and an absolute hack who is lucky in that people pay in droves to see his ? . People really thought a Turtles film would be good under his direction? LMAO! -
*walks in like Dr. Loomis frm holloween*; "I look into his eyes and saw pure evil". "Micheal(bay) must not be let out!" After seeing what he did to TFs.......nooooo!!"
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Soooo he gave up on those horror movie remakes
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Haul Judos wrote: »the same people who were involved with the 2007 TMNT movie should be involved with this one..
point blank period...
Same with the Justice League movie... Just give it to the people who do the animated movies and step back...
Stop it...don't be ridiculous.
So you haven't seen Spiderman 3 -
hopefully these events solidify's that this movie never see's the light of day.
how hard can it be to make a decent TMNT movie? base that ? on the original comic book and have it be a bit more dark & mature like the dark night movies. ? would be epic.
