Another question for posters with kids

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Comments

  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Members Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    7fIG wrote: »
    Do you mean 'what about your child do you love'?

    Not exactly - Why do you love them but if you that question's too difficult, then answer the other one.

    Idk if many people could say WHY they love their child, they just do. Being able to bond with your child and spend time with them definitely helps.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    7fIG wrote: »
    Do you mean 'what about your child do you love'?

    Not exactly - Why do you love them but if you that question's too difficult, then answer the other one.

    Idk if many people could say WHY they love their child, they just do. Being able to bond with your child and spend time with them definitely helps.

    Agreed, what about the inverse of that ?

    Not being able to bond with your child and spend time with them definitely doesn't help.
  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Members Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Or it for sure doesn't help, not being able to see your child growing and learning, you know you don't get to learn anything about them, their thoughts or feelings, even being able just to see them as an individual themselves. If you don't get to enjoy those things, they are like a stranger to you.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    Or it for sure doesn't help, not being able to see your child growing and learning, you know you don't get to learn anything about them, their thoughts or feelings, even being able just to see them as an individual themselves. If you don't get to enjoy those things, they are like a stranger to you.

    ^ Pretty much my point of the whole thread.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    7fIG wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    7 sounds like my brother. I love my brother but the way he treats his kids makes me ? sick.

    His first wife and her family made it hard for him to see his son after they divorced, she moved to a state he had a warrant in and threatened to call the cops if he ever showed up. Filed for CS and he never paid. He started saying the same ? that 7 is saying..."Well he already hates me so I'll just explain what happened when he gets older." Now his ex wife moved on and got remarried and got her mind together, she doesn't mind her son seeing his daddy. My bro doesn't give a damn and still owes thousands in child support, only reason they haven't arrested him is because he's in a different state. He finds petty ass reasons to be mad at the boy when his son just keeps reaching out..."He dresses like a ? " "He didn't tell me thank you when I sent him an Ipad for Christmas." We try to keep in touch with him via facebook to let him know that this side of the family loves him, it's just his daddy is a ? .

    Then his second babymama had a baby right before Hurricane Katrina. My bro left the state and never came back, only saw his son in the hospital. She never filed for child support but she did file for food stamps and Dept of Human Services filed for CS on her behalf (they do it automatically when single mothers get food stamps). Now he's ? at her and the kid because DHS is making him pay child support. Spent time once with the little boy and now the little boy is attached. My bro refuses to spend time with him because of the CS order against him, he keeps thinking his babymama filed when it wasn't her fault. WTF was she supposed to do? Not get food stamps and let her lil dude starve?

    Now he's had another child and got remarried and he takes care of her two kids by another ? but won't take care of his own kids SMH. It makes me sick to even type it out.
    VIBE wrote: »
    Sounds to me like 7 is just looking for an excuse to not be there.

    I know someone who is like this, his son is about 9 now and he's still the same way.

    I don't owe child support. And how am I finding reasons not to see him ? Didn't I just say I went to see him.

    You said he's married (your brother) now and takes care of the 2 kids he has with his new wife.

    Doesn't that show you how the attachment between a dude who gets to be with his kids vs one who doesn't is different ?

    I think ? really like to lump all fathers together and blame them for every ? up thing across the board. I'm not apologizing for ? I didn't do or ? that other ? do or ? that I tried to do and wasn't allowed to do. (by BM and courts).

    You remind me of him because you're using your babymoms craziness as an excuse to not be there for your seed. You know that by paying CS, you can demand visitation rights and if she doesn't abide by them, you can get her ass thrown in jail? Don't let a mentally unstable broad keep you away from your seed...

    I've done that but real talk, fatherhood shouldn't have to come down to that ? . I started feeling like all they wanted from a ? was money. I'm going to court to try to prove to a judge that I deserve to see my kid after raising her kid and taking care of mine while this ? was M.I.A. ?

    Does motherhood come down to that ? This ? didn't have to prove ? - just that she had a ? . Now I'm supposed to smile in my son face like all that ? was ok ? Let's separate the ideal from the real world for a moment.

    No, fatherhood shouldn't have come down to that. But when you impregnate a ? ? that's what happens. Shoulda chosen better or nutted on her forehead.

    It's the world we live in and you not being there for your kid because of it is not going to inspire lawmakers to change the laws to appease you.

    You're supposed to smile in your son's face because he didn't do anything wrong, his mother did. And if you want to punish her for making this difficult for you, exercise your visitation rights. Set up visits, document them, and if she doesn't comply call the cops on her crazy ass. That will get her mind right.

    At the bolded - been there done, that.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @pralims is serving up ether this morning...lawd

    im not really trying too....i just know if i stumbled or studdered at anytime...my kids can hold me accountable for not trying my hardest. I have witnessed grown ups step to their parent because the parent didnt want to go thru hardtimes....but as an adult we are better equipped to go thru hard times....an innocent child doesnt. we have the tools to fight, that child doesnt. so when that adult child comes to you to ask why didnt love them or come get them....trust me, hearing that ? will crush a child....an it is not a pretty sight.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    lol..why wouldn't you smile in your son's face?

    He had NOTHING to do with the fact that you two made a baby when you really shouldn't have made a baby.

    I don't necessarily care for my child's father and I hate that it was HIM to give me a child, but that has nothing to do with her and I don't BLAME her for that in anyway, whether it's by my words or by my actions.

    You have resentment and you're misdirecting it.

    Having resentment and not having an attachment are 2 different things though.

    As far as "smiling in his face", it was figurative. It's not like I'd say "dude, it's your fault." but it'd be hard to be acting like ? is all gravy especially if he thinks that I'm the one that didn't try to be there and his moms was all peachy.
  • young_reezy
    young_reezy Members Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I get what you mean and from what it sound like is you didn't have too much of a relationship with ya kids mom, wasn't in on the birth, it was just something that happen. I know what you saying it's just a different situation me but i'm sure there are a lot of people who have been through or are goin through that.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    I get what you mean and from what it sound like is you didn't have too much of a relationship with ya kids mom, wasn't in on the birth, it was just something that happen. I know what you saying it's just a different situation me but i'm sure there are a lot of people who have been through or are goin through that.

    Na I was there for the birth, cut the umbilical cord, ery'thing. I was there before the birth too playing daddy to her kid for years before - though I'd never recommend that ? to somebody now.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Chicity wrote: »
    I have quite a few kids (between 7-2 y/o) and can honestly say that I haven't 'loved' any of them until after they became older, which is somewhere around 18-30 month.

    Babies are the woat and while they are cute, they are bland canvases. Dull, helpless, and terrible loud creatures that would most likely die if left alone for more than an hour or two. Can't even hold a decent conversation without them, ? , sleeping, or crying on you.

    As my children became toddlers and their personalities became more apparant, I began to love them, dislike them, tolerate them, sympathize with them, and so many other host of emotions that I didn't feel when they were babies or even before they started active communicating with me.

    Some ppl can love things that they don't know. I ain't one of them ppl tho. I getting to know my children, from the oldest to the youngest, and have fallen in love with them time and time again since we have been able to communicate with each other. My youngest can say all of 10 words however we have some of the best converations while playing with his hot wheels. My oldest is so preachy I often times wonder if she isn't my conscience in the flesh. My middle children are loud, silly, skirt wearing, basketball playing, cut their leg and won't even make a peep, get soap in they eye and curse the heavens, wild and loving children that I'm not sure if they are ever going to just sit down and become adults. They are so much more then me and their mothers, they are unique to themselves and without them I doubt I'd be the man that I am.

    This is why I love my children


    I GOAT'd this ? up cuz this a real ? post, not that overly-sensitive, arrogant, or fairy-tale ? .
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    7fIG wrote: »
    Chicity wrote: »
    I have quite a few kids (between 7-2 y/o) and can honestly say that I haven't 'loved' any of them until after they became older, which is somewhere around 18-30 month.

    Babies are the woat and while they are cute, they are bland canvases. Dull, helpless, and terrible loud creatures that would most likely die if left alone for more than an hour or two. Can't even hold a decent conversation without them, ? , sleeping, or crying on you.

    As my children became toddlers and their personalities became more apparant, I began to love them, dislike them, tolerate them, sympathize with them, and so many other host of emotions that I didn't feel when they were babies or even before they started active communicating with me.

    Some ppl can love things that they don't know. I ain't one of them ppl tho. I getting to know my children, from the oldest to the youngest, and have fallen in love with them time and time again since we have been able to communicate with each other. My youngest can say all of 10 words however we have some of the best converations while playing with his hot wheels. My oldest is so preachy I often times wonder if she isn't my conscience in the flesh. My middle children are loud, silly, skirt wearing, basketball playing, cut their leg and won't even make a peep, get soap in they eye and curse the heavens, wild and loving children that I'm not sure if they are ever going to just sit down and become adults. They are so much more then me and their mothers, they are unique to themselves and without them I doubt I'd be the man that I am.

    This is why I love my children


    I GOAT'd this ? up cuz this a real ? post, not that overly-sensitive, arrogant, or fairy-tale ? .

    ? if you talking about me....call me out...don't do the subliminal ? .

    tell me where my ? was fairy tale or arrogant...anywhere
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    7fIG wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    7 sounds like my brother. I love my brother but the way he treats his kids makes me ? sick.

    His first wife and her family made it hard for him to see his son after they divorced, she moved to a state he had a warrant in and threatened to call the cops if he ever showed up. Filed for CS and he never paid. He started saying the same ? that 7 is saying..."Well he already hates me so I'll just explain what happened when he gets older." Now his ex wife moved on and got remarried and got her mind together, she doesn't mind her son seeing his daddy. My bro doesn't give a damn and still owes thousands in child support, only reason they haven't arrested him is because he's in a different state. He finds petty ass reasons to be mad at the boy when his son just keeps reaching out..."He dresses like a ? " "He didn't tell me thank you when I sent him an Ipad for Christmas." We try to keep in touch with him via facebook to let him know that this side of the family loves him, it's just his daddy is a ? .

    Then his second babymama had a baby right before Hurricane Katrina. My bro left the state and never came back, only saw his son in the hospital. She never filed for child support but she did file for food stamps and Dept of Human Services filed for CS on her behalf (they do it automatically when single mothers get food stamps). Now he's ? at her and the kid because DHS is making him pay child support. Spent time once with the little boy and now the little boy is attached. My bro refuses to spend time with him because of the CS order against him, he keeps thinking his babymama filed when it wasn't her fault. WTF was she supposed to do? Not get food stamps and let her lil dude starve?

    Now he's had another child and got remarried and he takes care of her two kids by another ? but won't take care of his own kids SMH. It makes me sick to even type it out.
    VIBE wrote: »
    Sounds to me like 7 is just looking for an excuse to not be there.

    I know someone who is like this, his son is about 9 now and he's still the same way.

    I don't owe child support. And how am I finding reasons not to see him ? Didn't I just say I went to see him.

    You said he's married (your brother) now and takes care of the 2 kids he has with his new wife.

    Doesn't that show you how the attachment between a dude who gets to be with his kids vs one who doesn't is different ?

    I think ? really like to lump all fathers together and blame them for every ? up thing across the board. I'm not apologizing for ? I didn't do or ? that other ? do or ? that I tried to do and wasn't allowed to do. (by BM and courts).

    You remind me of him because you're using your babymoms craziness as an excuse to not be there for your seed. You know that by paying CS, you can demand visitation rights and if she doesn't abide by them, you can get her ass thrown in jail? Don't let a mentally unstable broad keep you away from your seed...

    I've done that but real talk, fatherhood shouldn't have to come down to that ? . I started feeling like all they wanted from a ? was money. I'm going to court to try to prove to a judge that I deserve to see my kid after raising her kid and taking care of mine while this ? was M.I.A. ?

    Does motherhood come down to that ? This ? didn't have to prove ? - just that she had a ? . Now I'm supposed to smile in my son face like all that ? was ok ? Let's separate the ideal from the real world for a moment.

    No, fatherhood shouldn't have come down to that. But when you impregnate a ? ? that's what happens. Shoulda chosen better or nutted on her forehead.

    It's the world we live in and you not being there for your kid because of it is not going to inspire lawmakers to change the laws to appease you.

    You're supposed to smile in your son's face because he didn't do anything wrong, his mother did. And if you want to punish her for making this difficult for you, exercise your visitation rights. Set up visits, document them, and if she doesn't comply call the cops on her crazy ass. That will get her mind right.

    At the bolded - been there done, that.

    So what's keeping you from seeing your kid then?


    That court ? ain't work for me - guess I wasn't one of the lucky ones. So I see him sometimes but it's way too detailed to get into on here. Not like a normal thing though. I'm not really cool with the fact that it's when a judge says I could see him for a couple of days or I gotta go deal with her to see him and all the ? - and if she acts stupid, I gotta call cops... that ain't for me.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    Chicity wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    Chicity wrote: »
    I have quite a few kids (between 7-2 y/o) and can honestly say that I haven't 'loved' any of them until after they became older, which is somewhere around 18-30 month.

    Babies are the woat and while they are cute, they are bland canvases. Dull, helpless, and terrible loud creatures that would most likely die if left alone for more than an hour or two. Can't even hold a decent conversation without them, ? , sleeping, or crying on you.

    As my children became toddlers and their personalities became more apparant, I began to love them, dislike them, tolerate them, sympathize with them, and so many other host of emotions that I didn't feel when they were babies or even before they started active communicating with me.

    Some ppl can love things that they don't know. I ain't one of them ppl tho. I getting to know my children, from the oldest to the youngest, and have fallen in love with them time and time again since we have been able to communicate with each other. My youngest can say all of 10 words however we have some of the best converations while playing with his hot wheels. My oldest is so preachy I often times wonder if she isn't my conscience in the flesh. My middle children are loud, silly, skirt wearing, basketball playing, cut their leg and won't even make a peep, get soap in they eye and curse the heavens, wild and loving children that I'm not sure if they are ever going to just sit down and become adults. They are so much more then me and their mothers, they are unique to themselves and without them I doubt I'd be the man that I am.

    This is why I love my children


    I GOAT'd this ? up cuz this a real ? post, not that overly-sensitive, arrogant, or fairy-tale ? .
    lol that was sensitive as ? , I'm considering deleting that ? , it's so mushy lol

    but on the real, as your child gets older you gonna wanna be in there life to show them you not who his/her mom may or may not paint you out to be.

    Me and my ex wife had a horrible divorce and I basically gave her my child but I realized that if I don't stay in contact and in her life, how could she not believe any and everything her mom might make up?

    If ya child decides they don't wanna have nothing to do with you so be it, but you should give them that choice and not take the option away from them.

    No doubt - you pretty much answered the question. And I think in another thread, you @j-gutta, @gorilla, and a few other posters dropped some real ? about how it goes down. I GOAT'D that ? off content alone and stickin' to topic cuz it was real ? , not even knowing that a sensitive ? ? was going to come in here later on some preachy ? .

    All of a sudden ? telling you ain't try to be in ya' kid life and all this other fantasy ? . ? answer the question don't pretend you know ? about me, ? boy. There's a reason a ? even made the thread. It's that soapbox ? I don't like. And I seen that ? do it before in his "Why black people .... " thread.
  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    7fIG wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    7 sounds like my brother. I love my brother but the way he treats his kids makes me ? sick.

    His first wife and her family made it hard for him to see his son after they divorced, she moved to a state he had a warrant in and threatened to call the cops if he ever showed up. Filed for CS and he never paid. He started saying the same ? that 7 is saying..."Well he already hates me so I'll just explain what happened when he gets older." Now his ex wife moved on and got remarried and got her mind together, she doesn't mind her son seeing his daddy. My bro doesn't give a damn and still owes thousands in child support, only reason they haven't arrested him is because he's in a different state. He finds petty ass reasons to be mad at the boy when his son just keeps reaching out..."He dresses like a ? " "He didn't tell me thank you when I sent him an Ipad for Christmas." We try to keep in touch with him via facebook to let him know that this side of the family loves him, it's just his daddy is a ? .

    Then his second babymama had a baby right before Hurricane Katrina. My bro left the state and never came back, only saw his son in the hospital. She never filed for child support but she did file for food stamps and Dept of Human Services filed for CS on her behalf (they do it automatically when single mothers get food stamps). Now he's ? at her and the kid because DHS is making him pay child support. Spent time once with the little boy and now the little boy is attached. My bro refuses to spend time with him because of the CS order against him, he keeps thinking his babymama filed when it wasn't her fault. WTF was she supposed to do? Not get food stamps and let her lil dude starve?

    Now he's had another child and got remarried and he takes care of her two kids by another ? but won't take care of his own kids SMH. It makes me sick to even type it out.
    VIBE wrote: »
    Sounds to me like 7 is just looking for an excuse to not be there.

    I know someone who is like this, his son is about 9 now and he's still the same way.

    I don't owe child support. And how am I finding reasons not to see him ? Didn't I just say I went to see him.

    You said he's married (your brother) now and takes care of the 2 kids he has with his new wife.

    Doesn't that show you how the attachment between a dude who gets to be with his kids vs one who doesn't is different ?

    I think ? really like to lump all fathers together and blame them for every ? up thing across the board. I'm not apologizing for ? I didn't do or ? that other ? do or ? that I tried to do and wasn't allowed to do. (by BM and courts).

    You remind me of him because you're using your babymoms craziness as an excuse to not be there for your seed. You know that by paying CS, you can demand visitation rights and if she doesn't abide by them, you can get her ass thrown in jail? Don't let a mentally unstable broad keep you away from your seed...

    I've done that but real talk, fatherhood shouldn't have to come down to that ? . I started feeling like all they wanted from a ? was money. I'm going to court to try to prove to a judge that I deserve to see my kid after raising her kid and taking care of mine while this ? was M.I.A. ?

    Does motherhood come down to that ? This ? didn't have to prove ? - just that she had a ? . Now I'm supposed to smile in my son face like all that ? was ok ? Let's separate the ideal from the real world for a moment.

    No, fatherhood shouldn't have come down to that. But when you impregnate a ? ? that's what happens. Shoulda chosen better or nutted on her forehead.

    It's the world we live in and you not being there for your kid because of it is not going to inspire lawmakers to change the laws to appease you.

    You're supposed to smile in your son's face because he didn't do anything wrong, his mother did. And if you want to punish her for making this difficult for you, exercise your visitation rights. Set up visits, document them, and if she doesn't comply call the cops on her crazy ass. That will get her mind right.

    At the bolded - been there done, that.

    So what's keeping you from seeing your kid then?


    That court ? ain't work for me - guess I wasn't one of the lucky ones. So I see him sometimes but it's way too detailed to get into on here. Not like a normal thing though. I'm not really cool with the fact that it's when a judge says I could see him for a couple of days or I gotta go deal with her to see him and all the ? - and if she acts stupid, I gotta call cops... that ain't for me.

    but that's your kid though, I understand that it's difficult but that's your child, so no matter what it takes you should exercise your rights and see him. That's why everybody came down hard on you in this thread, everybody knows its not easy but that still doesn't make it right for you to not do what's necessary to be there. Your kid is going to respect you a lot more for standing up to his crazy mom than he would for walking away and saying "that ain't for me." I'd call the cops every time she acted crazy and make her life a living hell...

    That's pretty much why you don't assume ? , you ask questions. I made that ? clear in another thread, and would've answered the question in this thread too - though that's not what the thread is about. I was pretty much answering a question Kat had about paying CS when this ? ? swoops in, like all situations are the same, with 'paying CS ain't everything' and goes into full ? mode.

    I did a lot of the same ? other people suggested but as far as doing that ? ery'day... In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time fo dat".... atleast I don't.
  • Kat
    Kat Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
    7fIG wrote: »
    lol..why wouldn't you smile in your son's face?

    He had NOTHING to do with the fact that you two made a baby when you really shouldn't have made a baby.

    I don't necessarily care for my child's father and I hate that it was HIM to give me a child, but that has nothing to do with her and I don't BLAME her for that in anyway, whether it's by my words or by my actions.

    You have resentment and you're misdirecting it.

    Having resentment and not having an attachment are 2 different things though.

    As far as "smiling in his face", it was figurative. It's not like I'd say "dude, it's your fault." but it'd be hard to be acting like ? is all gravy especially if he thinks that I'm the one that didn't try to be there and his moms was all peachy.

    You don't have an attachment because you're allowing your resentment to keep you from forming a bond.

    You don't want him to grow up thinking that you're the one that didn't try to be there but essentially you ARE the one.

    You have to keep trying and most days it will feel like a thankless job, but please believe that when your child is of age and begins to understand the way these things can sometimes work, he will recognize and LOVE you for the effort you put in despite the obstacles his mother may have thrown your way.

  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    7fIG wrote: »
    lol..why wouldn't you smile in your son's face?

    He had NOTHING to do with the fact that you two made a baby when you really shouldn't have made a baby.

    I don't necessarily care for my child's father and I hate that it was HIM to give me a child, but that has nothing to do with her and I don't BLAME her for that in anyway, whether it's by my words or by my actions.

    You have resentment and you're misdirecting it.

    Having resentment and not having an attachment are 2 different things though.

    As far as "smiling in his face", it was figurative. It's not like I'd say "dude, it's your fault." but it'd be hard to be acting like ? is all gravy especially if he thinks that I'm the one that didn't try to be there and his moms was all peachy.

    You don't have an attachment because you're allowing your resentment to keep you from forming a bond.

    You don't want him to grow up thinking that you're the one that didn't try to be there but essentially you ARE the one.

    You have to keep trying and most days it will feel like a thankless job, but please believe that when your child is of age and begins to understand the way these things can sometimes work, he will recognize and LOVE you for the effort you put in despite the obstacles his mother may have thrown your way.

    Kat. I feel you. But I'm tired of doing that. I did it for years but I guess I got a limit. You can't really do ? for somebody else if you can't do ? for yourself and I felt like that ? was driving me insane.

    I was trying everything. I haven't even heard much of anything mentioned that I didn't try. Even what I'm doing now is an effort (in my mind) when I didn't think I had any left. The fact that I even speak to that ? is for the sake of him. ? , why do you think I even asked the original question?

    I didn't say I don't talk to him, don't see him, won't be there for him, resent him, etc... it's just reality to admit the status of the relationship now. It sounds ? up but my effort was FOR him. Hers was against me being able to have a relationship with him. She ? it up - not me. That's not resentment, it's what really happened - and who wouldn't resent somebody who stood in the way of you and your child? If he sees it cool, if he doesn't whatever - it is what it is.
  • Kat
    Kat Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
    MFer I'm tired of waking up at 530 on a Saturday morning!

    I'm tired of not getting to go out anytime I want.

    I'm tired of the incessant whiiiiiining.

    You're a parent..you suck it up and get back at it...even when you're ? exhausted.


    I get what you're saying and I feel for you., but ain't ? you can say that's going to make me be like, oh okay, well good effort guy, better luck next time.

    Just be honest..looking at the little ? reminds you of her and all the ? you've gone through and you'd rather not go there.

  • 7figz
    7figz Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2012
    MFer I'm tired of waking up at 530 on a Saturday morning!

    I'm tired of not getting to go out anytime I want.

    I'm tired of the incessant whiiiiiining.

    You're a parent..you suck it up and get back at it...even when you're ? exhausted.


    I get what you're saying and I feel for you., but ain't ? you can say that's going to make me be like, oh okay, well good effort guy, better luck next time.

    Just be honest..looking at the little ? reminds you of her and all the ? you've gone through and you'd rather not go there.

    To be clear, this has never been the problem for me (not that I'd enjoy that ? ). The problem is I didn't get the opportunity to do it for mine. (but I did for hers)
  • J-GUTTA
    J-GUTTA Members Posts: 9,107 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I want to read all this thread when I get home. 7 the thing people don't understand or maybe they do is how ? up the other party can be towards the other person involved and it literally desensitize some ones emotions. Some on here know a lot of what I went through and I've said the same as you but your catching hell for it. But in the same breath your getting your chance to see your child. Mine are in an other country and some of the yardies here even told me just don't go down there on some strong headed ? .....so.my g do.the best you can at your chance.
  • Purr
    Purr Members Posts: 32,382 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I truly hope you can change the status of feeling like a stranger to your own child, to feeling like his father.

    I completely understand how women can be vindictive, and using your child as a bargaining chip to be malicious to you.

    However, your son needs you. Make that change. File for joint custody, if you have not already.

    I know there's some lawyers on this board. Just ask for help.

    Ill be praying for you to form that special bond with your son. Nothing compare to a father's love.