How many of you consider Makaveli Joker to be a good poster?
Options
Comments
-
*WARNING* TITANGRAPH ALERT *WARNING*
If you have ADD and aint in to reading, dont waste ur time with what im bout to post, but the ? is hilarious and well worth the read.
The coli smileys usually annoy me too, but in this rare scenario they didnt, actually made it even funnier. -
well worth the read tho
-
So I'm locked in the hole (the jail INSIDE the jail) in the county jail, awaiting my transfer to the State Department of Corrections, and being as we're locked in our cells virtually 24 hours a day, due to disciplinary infractions, **** gets so dead that there's nothing else to do socially, outside of talk...listen to ****** rhyme, bang on the doors, and tell stories. So there's this cat named Chris, around 20...tall, lanky goofy square black kid wit the 96 Kobe fro, and we all goin back & forth talkin about hoes, and he breaks out this story: (I'ma tell it from his perspective)
Chris: Man...you ****** ever **** a handicap *****?
Us:
***** GTFOH
Chris: Man...ayo. Back when I first joined the Navy, I was stationed in Virginia Beach...and everyone knows it's hoes out there. I was on Facebook one time, and I came across this BAD *** ***** who use to model, named Alicia. Ol girl looked like Gabrielle Union but a little lighter. So I talk to her for a few days, she got modeling pics up and everything, and she seemed ? , but she told me she was into military guys, and eventually we graduated to phone convos. Chick ended up being mad down to earth, drama-free, and said she just liked to relax n watch movies in her free time. I'm just looking to ****, but based off her demeanor, I'm seeing it's potential and ****...
So a week or two goes by, and she's inviting me over to chill at her house and go out to dinner. She said she'd prefer to double date, so if I had a friend with a girl, I could bring one of my Navy homeboys. So we set everything up, and my homie & his broad were to meet us at Ruby Tuesday where we had planned to eat at. Anyways, I make to her crib the following afternoon, and she texts me and says to just walk inside, the doors unlocked. So I go inside and she's calling back to me, "I'm in here..." I walked back towards the living room where the voice was coming from, bend the corner, and I see this legless ***** lying on the ? couch in a Vogue magazine pose! I was like
and she could see it on my face so she was like 
"let me explain...come sit next to me please..." And by now I'm like **** it, kinda feelin bad, so I figure I'll jus take the broad out to dinner since no one prolly hangs out with her anyways...leave, then forget about her forever.
So she gives me this long story about how she was an amateur model (she had the face & body to prove it at least -- minus the legs) and got into a really bad car wreck after her high school prom so she been like this ever since...she cried and ****, and I actually felt bad. Partially cuz she was so damn badd in the face. So I say **** it, lets go. I'll take you out to eat. And her whole face lights up. You could tell this chick was expecting rejection and had grown used to it. So I felt kind of good about takin her out, even tho it was gonna be embarrassing. So I pack her wheelchair up in the car, put her in the passenger seat, swallow my pride, and drive to Ruby Tuesday to meet my boy and her homegirl who are waiting on us.
We get there to eat, and INSTANTLY, my boy looks at me like
And I assume it's cuz it's as much of a surprise to him as it is to me, but not only that, I just KNEW this ***** was Mandark laughing at me on the inside & was gonna have a field day tellin the homies this ****. Part of me wanted to leave all of them there, but the kinder part of me saw it through. So we're eating, talking at the table, and my boy sittin across from me, handicap Alicia next to me...across from his girl. Every few minutes, I'm getting texts from my boy like 
"***** u gon **** ain't chu"........"LMAO"......."LOOK MA NO LEGS!" and all kinds of ? up ****, making me want to kick him in his ****. Right around the time Alicia started noticing we were texting though, she started rubbin up against my leg...and against my wishes........my **** was gettin hard as a ? .
-
So we all take a check, and I tell my ***** I'ma meet him back on base. Him & his girl ride out, and it's just me & Alicia. I put her in the car, pop her wheelchair in the trunk, and ride home...the rides mostly silent cuz I'm still feeling awkward from letting a chick wit no legs rub on my ****...So we're halfway home, and out of nowhere, she leans over, starts unzipping my pants, and puts my **** in her mouth like it's nothing! I'm so in shock, I don't stop her and for real the **** feel good so I'm like **** it. She slurping and moaning and ****, and I'm trying not to look at her legs, but I can't help myself, so I look over and almost crashed bc as her head bobs up and down, one of her ? nubs is bobbin up annd down against the car door and it's enough to make me ? die from disgust and amusement at the same time...
We get to her house and I'm not even thinking about lettin her finish, I get up, and go to grab her wheelchair, and as I'm wheeling it towards her, she says, "you know, you could stay for a while...please stay..." and she looks at me wit that model face and I'm conflicted but my **** still hard so I'm like AHHHHHH **** it! "There's a bench under a tree in my backyard...push me back there...." is what she said, so **** it, I did it.
The suns starting to set, and she has a secluded backyard her neighbors can't really see into, so we're sitting under the tree on the bench, and I **** around and kiss the *****. We're fondling eachother, and shes grabbing on my **** again and catches me off guard when she says, "pick me up.......over there" and she points to the ? tree. At this point, I'm in it strictly for the sake of being able to say I did it, so I pick her up and carry her like a ? baby over to this low hanging branch of the tree. She grabs it with both arms and says, "get behind me and pull my dress up. And man.........
I ? that ***** while she was hanging on to a tree...
And I came in her too.
Us:
Chris: So I nut and she's acting like it's the best sex of her life (really I'm thinking damn aint this ***** arms tired?) And long story short, I take her inside, out of pity, set her down on the couch....we have a few minutes of awkward convo, and say our goodbyes after I promise (lie) I'll be back for another date next weekend and tell her I'll call her tomorrow. I head out to my car feelin like Red in Friday when Deebo snatches his chain, and as I look up to roll my windows down, some big *** prison old head ***** is running towards my car (her pops!?), but I hadn't put my **** in gear, so before I could even roll the windows up, this ****** hand is in my passenger window like "HOLD UP YOUNG MAN". I ain't gon lie. I was scared to death...
First thing he says is "I SAW EVERYTHING." and as I'm scrambling for options, I'm thinking damn this ***** gone shoot me...if I pull off he gon light my car up too so the only thing I can think of to diffuse the situation is pure honesty. But before I Can even get a word out, he goes, "I'm Alicias Uncle. I seen what you did to my niece. I saw the whole thing...I just wanted to run out here and thank you, because most ? just leave her hanging in the tree and bounce."
Us:
Don't know how true it is, and I'm sure I didn't capture the essence and timing of how he told it, but **** was top 5 GOAT stories I've ever heard in my entire life. -
yes he is a great poster and a great modLol wow
-
cb you gotta take the censor off yo profile
-
This further increases my desire to ? a handicap ? .
-
petition to send all crackas to the coliGOAT story
-
Lolol.. that ? was hilarious
-
cb you gotta take the censor off yo profile
Oh word rite...I was wondering why ? was still censored, I heard after 50 posts I could see curses and ? ...im a fix that ? next time I post in there.
-
LMFAO...that ? was hilarious.
-
petition to send all crackas to the coliget a boat
put all crackers(kat,zee,PR,Matt,Munny,Rozay,etc) on it and send them to the ? that is coli
problem solved for the rest of the IC. -
petition to send all crackas to the coliand LMAO at the story.
-
Posted the GOAT story up above late last night and most posters mightve missed it, so im a just bump this thread before it ends up on the bottom of the page and ? miss out.
Edit: and no need to leave a reaction since I dont really deserve the reaction for it since its not mine, dont wanna come off like im paddin stats and ? . -
petition to send all crackas to the coliChase N Bundlez wrote: »KeepOnPushing wrote: »that Coli place way too corny , i can't post there.
I ran thru this forum and there is no more comp for me...sadly. So for me, its ight over there, tryin to test the waters.
But ur a reformed lame (u my ? tho) so u good rite here, u finally becoming a good poster and making a name for ur urself so this is fun for u. Although I once read u say that u hated trolls, and now look, look what the IC has done to u, turned u out.
Ur far from the soft spoken, kind hearted young man that use to post primarily in the CS and only engaged in serious sports discussion, the one that ignored Donkey and all the fuckeries it had to offer...now, well, ur quite CB'ish.
But Hollywood a do that to u, bro..did it to me too, so.
lmao this ? crazy -
petition to send all crackas to the coliHe been ? the game up for a minute now.
-
petition to send all crackas to the colithat story is ? hilarious
?
"look ma no legs"
-
^That part was hilarious....but the ? that made me spit out my juice was when he siad:
"We get there to eat, and INSTANTLY, my boy looks at me like"
lmao that face couldnt fit the flow of the story any better yo, word. -
Word, those "creepy" little severed head pics made the story hilarious as ? .
-
Who?goat internet tale... funniest part..
"I just wanted to run out here and thank you, because most ? just leave her hanging in the tree and bounce."
^ dead @ Uncle ? watching his niece get ? in a tree -
petition to send all crackas to the colilmfao this cant be life
cs CB that face made that ? hilarious
gotdayum
-
petition to send all crackas to the coliwhy the ? would he ? her while she hang from a tree lmao.. so many other ways to ? a ? and she just hang there haha
-
Yall think this story was ducktales and the TS just made it up, or do yall believe that ? really happened to his boy?
If the ? was true lol @ that dude's life....and if son just made it up he has the wildest imagination ever and needs to publish his own book asap, he's hilarious. -
Who?yooooo lol
-
petition to send all crackas to the coliChase N Bundlez wrote: »Yall think this story was ducktales and the TS just made it up, or do yall believe that ? really happened to his boy?
If the ? was true lol @ that dude's life....and if son just made it up he has the wildest imagination ever and needs to publish his own book asap, he's hilarious.
lmao i dont even care if its ducktales.. dude hilarious as ?
