Story of 2 Years - A puzzling mess.

RuffDraft
RuffDraft Members, Writer Posts: 4,753 ✭✭✭✭
This is a personal piece about my life over the previous two years. See of it what you will...it's not perfect as I didn't want to edit it. This is a 90 minute affair with my Mac and a chair.
In life, few things can come between

An honest man, and the girl of his dreams

When he finds her, he wants it all.

To remove dreams of travelling

Forgetting it all.



For one woman stands, in the palm of his hands,

As he brings her close, into his promised lands,

For a promise could never be more true,

Forever and always, I'm here for you.



Despite the perfect start,

Moments of madness tore them apart,

For as much as he could see and feel her body,

He was riddled with constant worry.



Worry that would not cease,

Worry that would fool,

Worry that would turn out,

to be so cruel.



It's funny what the mind can do,

Change promises of anew.

Feel pressured and without care,

A moment’s truth, it couldn't bare.



For the feelings that he felt were still all so true,

It made his heart melt, not to be there for you.

In moments of absence, he would realise truth.

You are his princess and without you,

he's through.



For when absence became permanent,

There was nothing else he could do.

The mind could no longer control.

And feelings became truth.



The man realised that the heart ruled the land.

And the heart told him,

"You've caused me endless pain and suffering.

What didn't you understand?

Why didn't you listen to me?

Why didn't you risk breaking me?

It would have been worth the pain,

For without her, only suffering will remain."



And the man realised, as he always does:

I've been stupid and destroyed us.

For when marriages were a chore,

My heart only grew for you more.

Paintbrushes and loving hugs,

Trips to a garden centre,

and hopes of love ?

Cinema trips and some tasty times,

My heart can only wish for all this,

to rewind.



Rewind the moments of numbness,

and never let go.

I wish I had saved for a place,

I wish I had saved you a place,

I wish I had been fearless,

I wish I hadn't made these mistakes.



I wish that you would reconsider,

The moments that we will miss.



For this past year,

I have not been myself,

I insist.

For myself always says,

"Listen to your heart, *name*."



For now, I wish to throw caution to the wind.

To be a part of your life, no more pretend.

To be by your side, when waves in your life collide,

And to ride with pride with you at my side.



You may have found a guy who makes you feel alive,

Goes to church and wants to be by your side.

But you forget how much I've tried.

How much we've been through,

I can never be as exciting,

For I am old and bruised.



I wear the weather of our storm,

And see only clouds amongst it all.

But with realisation, I can amend.

I can be the man you want, in the end.



For travelling is no longer my dream,

I've realised that I've got everything I need,

Apart from you.

And these past few days I cannot understand,

We used to be so close, so 'in demand'.



But by thirty, I want to say,

"One day, I wrote some poetry,

And that poetry led me to today.

Standing opposite the girl,

Who wants to marry me.

But not as much as I do her,

For all the love in the world,

I have consumed,

Yet it is only her fair share.



My mind no longer rules the skies,

And my heart is strong as I stare in her eyes.

I couldn’t be a happier man.

I’ll cherish you forever and always,

And wish that soon we can start a fam’.

So without further a do,

Will you marry me, my love?

as we move on, into the new."



And people will smile and cheer,

As I hold you close, my precious dear.



---



Above all this please understand,

Whatever you wish, I understand.

A man is judged by his actions,

So I write this story for you to understand.

The changes in this past month,

Are the last I can stand.