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luke1733
Members Posts: 1,490 ✭✭✭✭
I ain't saying my jokes aren't lame sometime, but bring yours then:
(Oh, these ain't my jokes. Bring any joke as long as it isn't pages long):
-How is it possible to have a civil war?
-Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
-“No comment” is a comment.
-What was the best thing before sliced bread?
-Get on the plane, get on the plane. I say, F**K YOU! I'm getting IN the plane! Evel Knievel can get ON the plane. There seems to be less wind in here
-How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
-Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
-One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
-Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
-Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “s” in it?
-Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
(average being half)
-Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
-One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
-I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
-You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
-What year did Jesus think it was?
-The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
(Oh, these ain't my jokes. Bring any joke as long as it isn't pages long):
-How is it possible to have a civil war?
-Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
-“No comment” is a comment.
-What was the best thing before sliced bread?
-Get on the plane, get on the plane. I say, F**K YOU! I'm getting IN the plane! Evel Knievel can get ON the plane. There seems to be less wind in here
-How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
-Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
-One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
-Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
-Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “s” in it?
-Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
(average being half)
-Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
-One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
-I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
-You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
-What year did Jesus think it was?
-The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Comments
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decided to install a dartboard on the ceiling for the ? of it.
can't stand the thing.makes me want to throw up. -
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Your mom is so stupid... when she heard it was chilly outside, she went and got a bowl.
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mickey & minnie mouse are in divorce court. the judge says "mickey, you say you're divorcing minnie because she's gone crazy?"
mickey "says no honor i said she was ? goofy." -
Your momma is so ugly she got arrested for mooning
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Your momma is so fat, the horse on her polo shirt was real
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Yo momma so short, when she smokes.... she can't even get HIGH!
Yo momma so ugly, she scared the ? out of the toilet.
