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Can feminists and strong black women really have a successful heterosexual relationship?

2456711

Replies

  • StrokenoffStrokenoff Self Love Is The Best Love In My FeelingsPosts: 3,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I honestly haven't run into a lot of obstacles in relationships based on the fact that I identify as a feminist. If a man is fundamentally kind and empathetic, even if he sometimes can’t see everything clearly, I can live with that. Privilege that people have can oftentimes assert itself in strange ways that are oblivious to most, so for me, it's just important that I don't have a lingering feeling that I'm being put in my place, patronized, or disrespected because I'm a girl.

    Aside from that, I don't really base or structure my relationship around gender ideas, responsibilities and life roles. I do what works for me and I usually don't run into trouble with gender role signifiers and what that ought or ought not mean to the man I'm intimate with. He does not expect me to do all the housework because I am a woman, but incidentally I happen to enjoy being the one who always cooks and cleans, and it does not bother me to admit that those things do contribute to me feeling valuable. Similarly, I am sure that he is prideful about being solely responsible for maintenance of our cars, repairing items that are broken, killing the spider, taking out the trash, pumping the gas, etc. because I'm certain it makes him feel needed. Occasionally, we parcel out household chores based on who is ok with doing it or who has a particular way that it neurotically must be done. (He is obsessive about clean floors so he handles that) Any woman who takes herself seriously will wrestle with these feelings, but since I understand every relationship involves compromise, I don't have a hard time telling the difference between being kind, loving and accommodating and fulfilling my assigned submissive role as a woman. We just both happen to "get it".

    lol, straight up gave that man his role
    tumblr_mrri7ddVLC1r1ph6to1_500.gif
    DarcSkies
  • obnoxiouslyfreshobnoxiouslyfresh Still Ginny From The Block Posts: 11,495 ✭✭✭✭✭
    BEAM wrote: »
    Yes, but only with a male who is willing to sacrifice male pride, logic, dignity, etc..



    Oh hush! lol
    Angel out of heaven, such a goddess, have a nigga praying [-O<
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2014
    For the record, wanting to have the same rights does not mean that you want to be the same as someone.
    BEAM wrote: »
    Yes, but only with a male who is willing to sacrifice male pride, logic, dignity, etc..

    So let me marinate on this for a sec....being with a woman who believes in equal rights for women means you have to be illogical and continually on your knees?
    male-tears-2.jpg
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LordZuko wrote: »
    Most feminists won't stay in a relationship with a man unless they believe they can control them. So yea plenty of feminists have stable relationships. But they usually end up cheating on dude because secretly they are disgusted they are with a man who let's them walk all over him.

    Usually they end up cheating with guys like me. Men who they claim are misogynists and hate women and should never be with one. But it's dudes like me who will tell them to shut that bullshit up calling me up ten at night to get fucked like the stupid ungrateful slut she is.

    So give them this good dick then watch them make a blog post about how men ain't shit and laugh myself into a coma.

    I know this seems very specific and tailored to a specific woman but believe this is an all too common scenario.
    Everything about your post reaks bullshit. Bullshit bullshit bullshit.
    male-tears-2.jpg
    LordZukorip.dillaPapaDoc223BlackCat
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEYLEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    Lots of weak females are acting feminists but behind curtains they re not.
    Once they find a man they forget all that shit.

    TRUE FEMINISTS i know are divorced or single.


    That depends on your definition of a feminist. Your opinion on what a feminist is doesn't make it so.

    Feminism at first was good cause it was about giving women more respect , recognition and RIGHTS.
    It wasnt about splitting with men, hating chivalry and single famillies.
    they were seeking COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING

    It has derailed imo with the emergence of women with economic power equal / superior to men. The words INDEPENDANCE, single woman with a baby, "men are not to trust" " up to no good" has became mottos to the point it makes difficult to a nowadays feminist to have a COUPLE LIFE.

    apocalyse-xmen-2016.jpg
    deadeyexxCivicxx
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    Lots of weak females are acting feminists but behind curtains they re not.
    Once they find a man they forget all that shit.

    TRUE FEMINISTS i know are divorced or single.


    That depends on your definition of a feminist. Your opinion on what a feminist is doesn't make it so.

    Feminism at first was good cause it was about giving women more respect , recognition and RIGHTS.
    It wasnt about splitting with men, hating chivalry and single famillies.
    they were seeking COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING

    It has derailed imo with the emergence of women with economic power equal / superior to men. The words INDEPENDANCE, single woman with a baby, "men are not to trust" " up to no good" has became mottos to the point it makes difficult to a nowadays feminist to have a COUPLE LIFE.
    My point still stands. You're defining feminism as something that has morphed into misandry. Two different things.
    male-tears-2.jpg
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEYLEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Why seeking control instead of partnership?
    apocalyse-xmen-2016.jpg
    Olorun22
  • BEAMBEAM Posts: 2,560 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote:
    So let me marinate on this for a sec....being with a woman who believes in equal rights for women means you have to be a logical and continually on your knees?

    Relax shorty, I was joking.
    Being with a woman who genuinely believes in and wishes to practice equal rights would be divine.
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think people are confusing "feminist" with "cunt"

    Exactly. And this is coming from a woman who is not a feminist but can surely be a cunt.
    male-tears-2.jpg
    deadeye
  • BEAMBEAM Posts: 2,560 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    I think people are confusing "feminist" with "cunt"

    Exactly. And this is coming from a woman who is not a feminist but can surely be a cunt.

    So @Westie‌, why aren't you a feminist?
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEYLEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    Westie wrote: »
    Lots of weak females are acting feminists but behind curtains they re not.
    Once they find a man they forget all that shit.

    TRUE FEMINISTS i know are divorced or single.


    That depends on your definition of a feminist. Your opinion on what a feminist is doesn't make it so.

    Feminism at first was good cause it was about giving women more respect , recognition and RIGHTS.
    It wasnt about splitting with men, hating chivalry and single famillies.
    they were seeking COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING

    It has derailed imo with the emergence of women with economic power equal / superior to men. The words INDEPENDANCE, single woman with a baby, "men are not to trust" " up to no good" has became mottos to the point it makes difficult to a nowadays feminist to have a COUPLE LIFE.
    My point still stands. You're defining feminism as something that has morphed into misandry. Two different things.

    Ok... so you mean that misandry to the feminists is what the Tea Party is to Republicans?
    apocalyse-xmen-2016.jpg
    WestieAjackson17
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEYLEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    I think people are confusing "feminist" with "cunt"

    Exactly. And this is coming from a woman who is not a feminist but can surely be a cunt.

    A cunt

    Would you mind elaborating please ?
    apocalyse-xmen-2016.jpg
  • LordZukoLordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunPosts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Like literally all you have to do is spin some bullshit about how her givin the suck up to the whole team is empowering for her and helps smash the patriarchy. It's a wrap after that.

    But seriously, these same hoes will go after the weakest most pliable dude they can find, usually a male feminist. Then convince him how her getting smanged by the entire starting five should have no bearing on whether he marries her. And if he does take that into account he's a sexist pig, a misogynist who hates all women and slut shames.
    tenor.gif?itemid=5063895



    deadeye  Colin$mackabi$hxxCivicxxAfrica United
  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I honestly haven't run into a lot of obstacles in relationships based on the fact that I identify as a feminist. If a man is fundamentally kind and empathetic, even if he sometimes can’t see everything clearly, I can live with that. Privilege that people have can oftentimes assert itself in strange ways that are oblivious to most, so for me, it's just important that I don't have a lingering feeling that I'm being put in my place, patronized, or disrespected because I'm a girl.

    Aside from that, I don't really base or structure my relationship around gender ideas, responsibilities and life roles. I do what works for me and I usually don't run into trouble with gender role signifiers and what that ought or ought not mean to the man I'm intimate with. He does not expect me to do all the housework because I am a woman, but incidentally I happen to enjoy being the one who always cooks and cleans, and it does not bother me to admit that those things do contribute to me feeling valuable. Similarly, I am sure that he is prideful about being solely responsible for maintenance of our cars, repairing items that are broken, killing the spider, taking out the trash, pumping the gas, etc. because I'm certain it makes him feel needed. Occasionally, we parcel out household chores based on who is ok with doing it or who has a particular way that it neurotically must be done. (He is obsessive about clean floors so he handles that) Any woman who takes herself seriously will wrestle with these feelings, but since I understand every relationship involves compromise, I don't have a hard time telling the difference between being kind, loving and accommodating and fulfilling my assigned submissive role as a woman. We just both happen to "get it".

    sweetie ...you are not a feminist.

    the moment you said you get it.....you are somewhere else.

    you are getting in an compromised....i dont hear a challenge for equality.

    you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
    you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
    then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

    I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEYdeadeyeAjackson17
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    Westie wrote: »
    Lots of weak females are acting feminists but behind curtains they re not.
    Once they find a man they forget all that shit.

    TRUE FEMINISTS i know are divorced or single.


    That depends on your definition of a feminist. Your opinion on what a feminist is doesn't make it so.

    Feminism at first was good cause it was about giving women more respect , recognition and RIGHTS.
    It wasnt about splitting with men, hating chivalry and single famillies.
    they were seeking COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING

    It has derailed imo with the emergence of women with economic power equal / superior to men. The words INDEPENDANCE, single woman with a baby, "men are not to trust" " up to no good" has became mottos to the point it makes difficult to a nowadays feminist to have a COUPLE LIFE.
    My point still stands. You're defining feminism as something that has morphed into misandry. Two different things.

    Ok... so you mean that misandry to the feminists is what the Tea Party is to Republicans?

    Today's Republican? No lol but yes I like that metaphor generally speaking
    male-tears-2.jpg
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
  • BEAMBEAM Posts: 2,560 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2014
    @obnoxiouslyfresh‌, it seems as if you've fallen into compromise and comfortability, not equality. Seems awfully coincidental neither of you expect the other to operate under traditional gender roles, yet your relationships works because you two still function with them in mind..
    deadeyeAfrica United
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    I think people are confusing "feminist" with "cunt"

    Exactly. And this is coming from a woman who is not a feminist but can surely be a cunt.

    A cunt

    Would you mind elaborating please ?

    I can be an asshole? I don't know how to elaborate on that that's pretty self-explanatory. Am I cunt – like regarding the woman in this article? Nooooo sir.
    male-tears-2.jpg
  • desertrain10desertrain10 Posts: 4,829 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yes
    The IconoclastxxCivicxx
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