Assortative Mating and the Conundrum Educated Blacks face
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ConsciousStripper wrote: »ConsciousStripper wrote: »
The average avatar woman is much better looking than the average black woman you ? look like
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Thats not what you said when you was blowing up my inbox wanting some ? .
There's nothing wrong with a poster tryna get some ? from u though.
You're mad repetitive and seem not all there in the cabeza.
I bet your ? good af. -
A Talented One wrote: »So basically what I am getting from this is some black men and women want "college degree" educated men and women. If you educated yourself through extensive reading and personal research you are not really considered by them to have "educational attainment or to be really educated". More people need to understand being school educated is not the same as being smart.
If the person you are dating or marrying can keep up with conversation even though they don't have college degrees, has good morals, principles and values and even if one person makes more than the other if the person making less can pay half the bills in the part of town that we both want to live in then that isn't marrying down IMO.
Yall need to go back to try to date and marry people and not a ? stats sheet.
I'm going to be honest I hate you new age people who think like that. A so called college education doesn't make you special and mean just because the next person doesn't have a degree it means they are not educated and can't possibly keep up intellectually with you.
When people choose money and education in picking a mate over morals, values, principles and standards you get what the ? you really asking for. That is a mate who is going to put a bigger value on their money over you!
Self-educated works for me. You have people like James Baldwin who never graduated college. Yet the fact is that most people without degrees aren't educated even to the level of a mere college degree, nevermind higher.
You know how many people get college degrees that aren't truly educated? So many high school kids enter college reading on a 9th grade level some even below that and still get that cheap ass piece of paper that guarantees you ? all. A college degree shouldn't even come into the picture when trying to find a mate. Being so called college educated doesn't mean a person is smart or automatically makes them a better mate for a person with a college degree.
I'm more than happily married and I have a degree and my wife doesn't. I have more thought provoking dialogue with my brother who has been to juvenile detention and did most of his time on his last sentence in max security federal penitentiary than I do with some of my friends who are college graduates.
All this ? about a person's mate needing to have a degree stems from most people wanting to brag on their mate to their friends and co-workers. They feel they can't do that if they work in an environment where basically everyone and their mates have a college degree. I bet if you polled all those women who say a degree is a requirement if you asked them would they date and marry Jay-z, Marshawn Lynch, or some ? rich IT guy who skipped college they would say yes cause he can still be bragged on because of who HE is not what they think some piece of paper says he is.
It's plain as day some of yall will never get "IT" and will keep falling for the ice cream!!
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A Talented One wrote: »JokerzWyld wrote: »Ralph Richard Banks wrote about this same topic more thoroughly in his book "Is Marriage for White People?" He also claimed that the onus was on black males to get on the black females level. He also mentioned very little about racism and concomitant structures that are specifically designed to hold us back economically. He also denied the most glaring statistic that black males, in spite of being incarcerated, less educated, etc, marry at a higher rate than our female counterparts. He believed that the answer to low female marriage statistics was for them to marry white men to balance out the marriage statistics.
It's important to mention historical obstacles that the black families faced in this country. The abuse that the black family suffered in this country since the 1600s has been internalized through the generations and transferred from parent to child from generation to generation. Think of a more concentrated version of Stockholm Syndrome where the abused learns to identify with their abuser. One of the effects of this internalized oppression is dysfunction in black family units. If one of the methods of white supremacy was/is to destroy the black family unit, then it's reasonable to believe that black people (in order to adapt), would learn to live more functional lives without it.
I write of functionality only from the context of psychological paradigm; the disparate economic conditions blacks experience in comparison to whites, specifically in regard to household income, is indicative of the need for a family structure in the black community if for no other reason than as a cooperative environment to provide economic security.
This is somewhat misleading. He proposes that more black women marry non-black men, but as a way of strengthening the black family. He believes that the balance of relationship power among middle class black couples now usually favors the men with them being reluctant to marry because they have too many options (given how relatively scarce middle class black men are) and the women unable to marry because they have too few options.
I actually got that quote from an interview he did promoting the book. He actually said black women should marry "white men." -
So basically what I am getting from this is some black men and women want "college degree" educated men and women. If you educated yourself through extensive reading and personal research you are not really considered by them to have "educational attainment or to be really educated". More people need to understand being school educated is not the same as being smart.
If the person you are dating or marrying can keep up with conversation even though they don't have college degrees, has good morals, principles and values and even if one person makes more than the other if the person making less can pay half the bills in the part of town that we both want to live in then that isn't marrying down IMO.
Yall need to go back to try to date and marry people and not a ? stats sheet.
I'm going to be honest I hate you new age people who think like that. A so called college education doesn't make you special and mean just because the next person doesn't have a degree it means they are not educated and can't possibly keep up intellectually with you.
When people choose money and education in picking a mate over morals, values, principles and standards you get what the ? you really asking for. That is a mate who is going to put a bigger value on their money over you!
While theres a huge element of truth to everything you said, its not an accurate snapshot of the reality minorities face.
There's a reason why women of all races pursue post secondary education far more than men: its the most effective way for them to obtain a salary thats competitive.
The same applies for all minorities regardless of gender. It is true many degree holders are not educated in a lucrative field or lack forward thinking. The fact remains however that degree holders have a better chance at social mobility through earning a higher wage. That fact can't be argued. And you'd be a fool to argue that social mobility (through wages in particular) holds no importance. Id say its all the importance in the world, word to the Jews and LGBT.
You cannot underestimate the fact that the income gap is widening. The pie is becoming smaller to share.
So I cannot blame myself or fellow Blacks for pursuing someone of a similar background. And I'm not absolute in my criteria, its just what I would prefer.
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JokerzWyld wrote: »A Talented One wrote: »JokerzWyld wrote: »Ralph Richard Banks wrote about this same topic more thoroughly in his book "Is Marriage for White People?" He also claimed that the onus was on black males to get on the black females level. He also mentioned very little about racism and concomitant structures that are specifically designed to hold us back economically. He also denied the most glaring statistic that black males, in spite of being incarcerated, less educated, etc, marry at a higher rate than our female counterparts. He believed that the answer to low female marriage statistics was for them to marry white men to balance out the marriage statistics.
It's important to mention historical obstacles that the black families faced in this country. The abuse that the black family suffered in this country since the 1600s has been internalized through the generations and transferred from parent to child from generation to generation. Think of a more concentrated version of Stockholm Syndrome where the abused learns to identify with their abuser. One of the effects of this internalized oppression is dysfunction in black family units. If one of the methods of white supremacy was/is to destroy the black family unit, then it's reasonable to believe that black people (in order to adapt), would learn to live more functional lives without it.
I write of functionality only from the context of psychological paradigm; the disparate economic conditions blacks experience in comparison to whites, specifically in regard to household income, is indicative of the need for a family structure in the black community if for no other reason than as a cooperative environment to provide economic security.
This is somewhat misleading. He proposes that more black women marry non-black men, but as a way of strengthening the black family. He believes that the balance of relationship power among middle class black couples now usually favors the men with them being reluctant to marry because they have too many options (given how relatively scarce middle class black men are) and the women unable to marry because they have too few options.
I actually got that quote from an interview he did promoting the book. He actually said black women should marry "white men."
And it is not strictly speaking wrong, just somewhat misleading insofar as it doesn't explain why he thinks black women should marry out more. It's not just cause they are single. -
Knives Amilli wrote: »So basically what I am getting from this is some black men and women want "college degree" educated men and women. If you educated yourself through extensive reading and personal research you are not really considered by them to have "educational attainment or to be really educated". More people need to understand being school educated is not the same as being smart.
If the person you are dating or marrying can keep up with conversation even though they don't have college degrees, has good morals, principles and values and even if one person makes more than the other if the person making less can pay half the bills in the part of town that we both want to live in then that isn't marrying down IMO.
Yall need to go back to try to date and marry people and not a ? stats sheet.
I'm going to be honest I hate you new age people who think like that. A so called college education doesn't make you special and mean just because the next person doesn't have a degree it means they are not educated and can't possibly keep up intellectually with you.
When people choose money and education in picking a mate over morals, values, principles and standards you get what the ? you really asking for. That is a mate who is going to put a bigger value on their money over you!
While theres a huge element of truth to everything you said, its not an accurate snapshot of the reality minorities face.
There's a reason why women of all races pursue post secondary education far more than men: its the most effective way for them to obtain a salary thats competitive.
The same applies for all minorities regardless of gender. It is true many degree holders are not educated in a lucrative field or lack forward thinking. The fact remains however that degree holders have a better chance at social mobility through earning a higher wage. That fact can't be argued. And you'd be a fool to argue that social mobility (through wages in particular) holds no importance. Id say its all the importance in the world, word to the Jews and LGBT.
You cannot underestimate the fact that the income gap is widening. The pie is becoming smaller to share.
So I cannot blame myself or fellow Blacks for pursuing someone of a similar background. And I'm not absolute in my criteria, its just what I would prefer.
I somewhat agree with what you are saying. Thing is though too many black people are making what a person's access to social mobility and ? like having a degree their number 1 priority when it comes to choosing a mate and that ? will never work. Do you know how many good men and women are passed up because of that line of thinking? Then those same people sit and complain about not being able to find a good mate. Nobody in the world in my opinion has ever found a ready made out the box mate. Relationships have to be built so the people in them can learn to compliment each other.
I guess no one finds it funny when the black family was stronger and marriage rates were better among black people they were not choosing mates first and foremost based on how many degrees a person had or that persons prospects on social mobility. It was more based on a person's character, morals, values, principles stood on, etc.
I don't have a problem with preference. I have a problem when black people are willingly turning away good possible mates based on some false ? such as they don't have a degree so they are not on my level and assume said person wouldn't be able to keep up with them or their social circle on an intellectual level.
This ? too many black people have bought into don't even realize the ? is just another way to keep black men and women separate.
To the bold I don't actually agree with that being a fact. I would say more people of all races have moved up socially through entrepreneurship than having a college degree.
