Why'd I Smash? :( (ill Community True Life Tales)
Options
Shuffington
Members Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
Tell us about that notch on your belt that you would rather forget about.
Be vivid.
I'll start.
She was the security guard at my dorm unit back in college
National Security is what we called her. She was a local chick, not really the greatest looking but
she had this enormous ASS.... it was Wide.. like, too wide for her legs... it was intriguing yet odd.
I was only 1 down in the smash department. She was feeling me so i was like ... "EHHHRRAAAA... OK"
Basically she did all the pursuing, I just went with the flow.
No dates no nothing... I snuck her into my dorm room (back stairway). I was ashamed a little
but I wanted to bust a nut.
she's in my bedroom. We'd been kissing in my dorm room twin bed all night.
Eventually it was time for actual ? .I have no shame admitting fellas,
but I couldn't get it up. I think my d*ck was tryna tell me something like....
" N*GGA, HER ???"
I eventually convinced my D*ck that it was ok.
I bust one of those painful nuts cause my ? were so sad & blue.
She gave me ? dome the following morning. She eventually got a new gig.
are communication faded to black. I only smanged it out that 1 time.
the end.
Be vivid.
I'll start.
She was the security guard at my dorm unit back in college
National Security is what we called her. She was a local chick, not really the greatest looking but
she had this enormous ASS.... it was Wide.. like, too wide for her legs... it was intriguing yet odd.
I was only 1 down in the smash department. She was feeling me so i was like ... "EHHHRRAAAA... OK"
Basically she did all the pursuing, I just went with the flow.
No dates no nothing... I snuck her into my dorm room (back stairway). I was ashamed a little
but I wanted to bust a nut.
she's in my bedroom. We'd been kissing in my dorm room twin bed all night.
Eventually it was time for actual ? .I have no shame admitting fellas,
but I couldn't get it up. I think my d*ck was tryna tell me something like....
" N*GGA, HER ???"
I eventually convinced my D*ck that it was ok.
I bust one of those painful nuts cause my ? were so sad & blue.
She gave me ? dome the following morning. She eventually got a new gig.
are communication faded to black. I only smanged it out that 1 time.
the end.
Comments
-
Shuffington wrote: »
I'll start.
She was the security guard
This ? ? Big Shirley -
Im not tryna remember that ?
She was a big ole female chewbacca looking ?
My boy had her fine friend and i was on a drought from working too much
From that day forward ive never again been a team player
Not taking no more for the team
? the team! -
She was more like Dee on the Wayans Brothers.
A little shorter tho. She had mom tiddies that I could see from the moonlights reflection. -
Lol I was unfortunate enough to take one for the team
Homie tricked me and gave me the ugly friend den the ? was on her period and still wanted me to smash..... I did it smh worst 10mins of my life -
Shuffington wrote: »She was more like Dee on the Wayans Brothers.
A little shorter tho. She had mom tiddies that I could see from the moonlights reflection.
-
Well I'll go for it.
I was talking to a few chicks but nothing was really hitting. One day I was talking to this one chick and she pretty much just asked to take my virginity. The conversation was kinda random but it went pretty much like:
"We are friends right?"
"Sure..."
"You trust me?"
"...Yeah..."
"So let me take your virginity. Better your friend and someone you trust right?"
"I...guess..."
So she set it all up. All i had to do was go over to her crib and bring a condom. In my infinite naivete I only got one condom.
So I get to her crib and she's all shy, and I'm all shy so we beat around the bush for like 20 minutes.
Now even though we were friends and all she wasn't much of a looker. She had a post-baby pouch but no baby, a Jay Leno chin just totally not...not at all what I wanted but i was the last dude in my circle to be a ? and that sucked so I went for it...
She walked me to her room, used a scarf to cover my eyes while i laid down then she played wit my ? some to wake it up slid the condom on climbed on top and about 2 minutes later it was over.
I honestly didn't feel ? , like I didn't FEEL sex happening UNTIL the nut began to build and sploosh there it was.
Afterwards, I took the scarf off and she was half dressed...top but no pants. We talked for a few minutes, she wanted to go again but I had no more condoms. She told me to come back a few days later and to bring 3-4 condoms but I never went back.
We were still friends but it never happened again. When I got home she started telling me all the stuff she wanted to do, ? she wanted to try but I was like....prolly not.
I didn't really like it that much so I stayed away. I didn't tell my homeboys either. I kept letting them think I was a ? until I smashed a girl I liked and the sex was worth talking about. -
I was ? one time. Super ? faced.
Was living with my friend and an ex girlfriend of mine. Girl roommate invited a couple friends over. One was sexy, one was big. Id say bigger than me or the same size (i was a big guy back then, still somewhat am). Sexy girl brought her BF. Big girl was someone i knew for a few years and sold weed to, would always smoke me out. Played beer ? and me and my male roommate were table champions for 5 hours or so. Dont know how many cases of beer we went through but i know there was a bottle of some ? smirnoff involved with the beer.
So played beerpong until 2AM or so. Sexy girl left, big girl stayed because she was too ? to drive. She asks if i want to smoke so we go into my room to smoke. At the time i had a King size bed and it was massive, took up 3/4 of my room. She asked if she could pass out on the other side of my bed and i said sure.
Pass out. Wake up later and this girl is tugging on my ? . Wasn't proud of myself, but i was hard and i pushed her head down and she blew me till i nutted. She gave some amazing head. Pierced tongue and all that. Rolled over after i was done, heard her say some smart ass ? expecting me to go down on her or something.
Woke up, didnt remember ? , went to work. I worked with my chick roommate at the time and she comes into the shop with a big ass grin and yells "She sucked your ? in your sleep!!" i look at her confused and all my co workers are looking at me like wtf?? Took me a second, but then everything starts popping back up in my head and i get this look like "oh ? ..." and everyone starts laughing, but we continue on with the day.
3 Years later I reconnect with this chick by selling her weed again. My parents were in the process of moving and my step dad had moved to Minnesota already with my little brothers and my mom was still in Anchorage working until the house was sold and I had moved in because my lease was up on my apartment and she needed help paying the bills while my dads paychecks were going to the new house. Mom leaves on a conference and im at home alone. Had surgery a month earlier and im sitting in my room playing xbox. Big chick hits me up needing a bag so i tell her to come over. She comes in, asks if i want to smoke, i load up the vaporizer and we start smoking. I was high on painkillers from the surgery and when you do opiates it can be very hard to achieve orgasm. I wasnt having too much luck doing it by myself and had wanted to bust a nut pretty bad. Her big ass was wearing a tank top and her big ass double D's were popping out of her shirt. Shes all being flirty with me so I whip it out. She gets to work and its GOAT. Still not able to ? so i start ? her face. Still nothing so i bend her over and we go at it. About an hour later after i get through all 3 holes i finally nut the most amazing nut ive ever had. Immediately after i ? , its like i woke up out of a dream and came back to reality. I see her laying there face in the pillow, ass in the air covered in my nut, breathing all heavy and i feel disgusted in myself. So much shame lol. I go get her a towel and she cleans up then i make some excuse to get her out of there. She leaves and would text me all the damn time when she would get ? . I almost went to her a few times but i would go ? and change my mind lol. -
Aww man this is hilarious, nothing like that realization afterwards when you like "what have I done" lol
-
I was bored/depressed/lonely
-
Man. Here goes:
I got back to the States after a 3 year high school education in the great Nigeria (NAIJA STAND UP!!).
It was college and I wasn't quite adjusted to the social pace of America. I was a bit rusty after being away for 3 years. I wasn't a foreigner but socially I wasn't as sharp as I used to be.
Well, it's college and it seems like everybody just knew how to get play. Make matters worse, I used to frequent Howard U for parties with my good friend. Well, one night he invites me out to a party and I'm grindin with this one girl. We get pretty hot and heavy and she advises to go back to her place. Sure thing.
Mind you, I'm like 19 and still very impressionable. She looked a bit older for a college student (maybe 2-3 years older) but she was really short and petite. Like 5'0 flat, so I went with it.
So we get back to her place, which is some ways off North Capitol and proceed to get busy.
I start taking off my clothes and head to her bed. She stops me and says she has her 'drugs' there. I'm like ok thats cool, just move them. I asked what drugs and she said 'don't worry, you don't do that kind of stuff'.
OK.... I pry a little more and then she lifts up a ? pipe and a small rock.
WTF!!! She smokes it in my front and just gets super hyped up. Like I said, I was quite ? whipped at that time so I still went along with it. I passed on the head and went straight to doggy. Strapped up and destroyed the ? .
Was lowkey scared I could catch the ? second hand smoke.
Never again. -
Shuffington wrote: »She was more like Dee on the Wayans Brothers.
A little shorter tho. She had mom tiddies that I could see from the moonlights reflection.
You trippin, I'd have ? Dee with them big ass ? -
Lol I was unfortunate enough to take one for the team
Homie tricked me and gave me the ugly friend den the ? was on her period and still wanted me to smash..... I did it smh worst 10mins of my life
-
Man. Here goes:
I got back to the States after a 3 year high school education in the great Nigeria (NAIJA STAND UP).
It was college and not quite adjusted to the social pace of America. I was a bit rusty after being away for 3 years. I wasn't a foreigner but socially I wasn't as sharp as I used to be.
Well, it's college and it seems like everybody just knew how to get play. Make matter worse, I used to frequent Howard U for parties with my good friend. Well one night he invites me out to a party and I'm grindin with this one girl. We get pretty hot and heavy and she advises to go back to her place. Sure thing.
Mind you, I'm like 19 and still very impressionable. She looked a bit older for a college student (maybe 2-3 years older) but she was really short and petite. Like 5'0 flat, so I went with it.
So we get back to her place, which is some ways off North Capitol and proceed to get busy.
I start taking off my clothes and head to her bed. She stops me and says she has her 'drugs' there. I'm like ok thats cool, just move them. I asked what drugs and she said 'don't worry, you don't do that kind of stuff'.
OK.... I pry a little more and then she lifts up a ? pipe and a small rock.
WTF!!! She smokes it in my front and just gets super hyped up. Like I said, I was quite ? whipped at that time so I still went along with it. I passed on the head and went straight to doggy. Strapped up and destroyed the ? .
Was lowkey scared I could catch the ? second hand smoke.
Never again.
? dam lmao...
This thread is already on pace for the FoF -
-
A stripper
The year: 2005 -
I took one for the team one time, broad was..... hideous...... my bros can't ever say I aint down for the cause. I would go find a pic of her but I aint gonna subject yall to that terror.... just know I had to drink a whole 5th of Seagrams Gin before I could bring myself to do it.
-
Man. Here goes:
I got back to the States after a 3 year high school education in the great Nigeria (NAIJA STAND UP).
It was college and not quite adjusted to the social pace of America. I was a bit rusty after being away for 3 years. I wasn't a foreigner but socially I wasn't as sharp as I used to be.
Well, it's college and it seems like everybody just knew how to get play. Make matter worse, I used to frequent Howard U for parties with my good friend. Well one night he invites me out to a party and I'm grindin with this one girl. We get pretty hot and heavy and she advises to go back to her place. Sure thing.
Mind you, I'm like 19 and still very impressionable. She looked a bit older for a college student (maybe 2-3 years older) but she was really short and petite. Like 5'0 flat, so I went with it.
So we get back to her place, which is some ways off North Capitol and proceed to get busy.
I start taking off my clothes and head to her bed. She stops me and says she has her 'drugs' there. I'm like ok thats cool, just move them. I asked what drugs and she said 'don't worry, you don't do that kind of stuff'.
OK.... I pry a little more and then she lifts up a ? pipe and a small rock.
WTF!!! She smokes it in my front and just gets super hyped up. Like I said, I was quite ? whipped at that time so I still went along with it. I passed on the head and went straight to doggy. Strapped up and destroyed the ? .
Was lowkey scared I could catch the ? second hand smoke.
Never again.
You Have AIDS -
@Lou_Cypher u got molested bro
Im offended as a fellow bro that them females found that funny.
It aint right. Sexism and all that.
And to the nasty ? that ? a ? on her period
[img]http://lolworthy.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/the-? -community-frowns-upon-your-shenanigans.jpg[/img]u only supposed to do that witcho main or your wife, so ive heard -
-
CeLLaR-DooR wrote: »I was bored/depressed/lonely
its ok brother.
this is a safe haven. A place for us to heal. We're all worthy of redemption.
-
There's been some ladies I've smashed that wasn't easy on the eyes, but they have a ? and was down to ? , so no regrets here.
-
@kinghassan What I tell you in the other thread about some of these ? and their standards? Lol
-
Lmao I was hoping she wasn't black tbh
That story would be a perfect Chappelle skit lol... -
I'll take a stab at this....
While on the run from some goons in Maryland. I went to stay with my moms in Virginia Beach. Found this fine bowlegged joint with a shaky bubble-butt. I used to sneak into her bedroom window at night and smash raw-dog, while listening to her mom & pops take turns snoring like they was wolves.
Used to have the ? steal raman noodles from the local supermarket, then we'd go to my crib & chill. We always had a signal that we used to "green-light" our sexcapades. If the blinds to her window was open, that meant the coast was clear for me to climb in the window.
One night I went to her crib, and the blinds were open, so I began to climb in. All of a sudden I saw this big Uncle Phil looking ? coming at me with a baseball bat!! ? had fire in his eyes. Muh-? swung that bat so hard I felt the wind; I hauled-ass outta that neighborhood.
2 months later the broad tells me she's preggo. ? caught a lucky break when the baby grew in her Fallopian tubes, so she had to get an abortion.
The things we do for that pretty brown round, and funky monkey..... -
I told this story in scumbag smh.
So my moms had a best friend who she hadn't seen since high school and they got back in contact when the friend moved back to our city. She needed a place to live and my moms owned a house she rented out to her. Well anyways I'm fresh outta high school still living at home. I come home one day and moms friend and her daughter was there. They introduce me and I say hello. The daughter was a touch slow. Never knew her diagnosis. She would drool a little. But she was a little cute and had a ? and big ass ? . Anyways I bounce to my room pop in some music and zone out.
Anyways moms come to my room later and says "hey did you like Jessica"?
Me:.............umm she's ok.
Moms: She said your cute.
Me: Mom, she's ? !
Mom: Boy, don't talk like that! You wouldnt want someone judge you.
Me:Ok mom sorry. Anyways what's up?
Mom: Well she's new to the city you should take her to a movie or something.
Me: You can't be serious. Moms I can't do that.
Mom:Just do this one thing for me.
We go back and forth. In my head I'm like damn is she thinking I'm that hard up that ill settle for ? ? ?
I finally agree to hang out at the house order pizza and watch a movie with her.
We watched halfbaked. I'm dead silent the whole time. She's trying to talk to me in her ? speak. Kinda sounded deaf but she wasn't. I kept giving her one word answers. So after the movie and credits is rolling we sitting there for a second then she just tries to jump on me and kiss me I'm like whoa, Noooo! Ay yo we just friends and Im not into kissing. (I was just not her with that drool hanging off her lip.)
So she sits there for a sec and then says well what if I suck your ?
Me: I don't know about all that.
Her: Just lay back and let me show you what I can do
Me: Aiight.
Man l laid back she took my pants and draws off and I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best ? I ever had. EVER. Maybe it was the extra drool. Man I sat there in silence after feeling like ? though. I can't believe I let that ? happen, at same time I'm like damn that was ? amazing!
But then I was like yo I got work in the morning you gotta go. She's like well what about us. I say I'm sorry I'm not looking for a relationship and me and you aren't a good idea. She's like why? I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I can already tell she trying to cling. I just flat out said well you're the way you are, and its just not a good look. Her eyes filled up with tears said oh I see got her purse and left.
Man for the next week I was scared she was gonna tell my moms or worse my homies would find out and I'd get torn to pieces. She never did though.
