Awkward times and places you had to take a SH*T (lol)
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Bussy_Getta wrote: »I'm not uncomfortable taking ? .
an i wont be uncomfortable watching you do it..
I like the new hair color...gives you a more mature yet sexy look. -
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obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »There have been a few times when I have an uber passenger in the backseat and my tummy starts bubbling. That is the absolute worst.
That's my biggest fear. About to start like a 30-45 min trip and bubble guts begin. I've held in ? for like an hour when it got busy -
Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
I swear FO' ER'THANG I ain't never laughed so hard like this in my life!
LMMFAO!!!! -
Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
So did u buy the Polo shoes or put your Poo Jordans back on?
I woulda had to just buy all new everything after pooin on myself & clothes. Woulda been a hit to the credit card but better than riding in the back seat with window down poo'd out. -
Any house party I've had to ? at I'm convinced the door is gonna fly open at any moment with the whole party and ? right there
Still hasn't happened tho -
obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »There have been a few times when I have an uber passenger in the backseat and my tummy starts bubbling. That is the absolute worst.
Lol u be passing gas at stoplights
I bet you secretly roll the windows down huh
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Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
So did u buy the Polo shoes or put your Poo Jordans back on?
I woulda had to just buy all new everything after pooin on myself & clothes. Woulda been a hit to the credit card but better than riding in the back seat with window down poo'd out.
MANNN I AIN'T BUY NOTHING... I HAD LOAFERS ON, LEATHER, SO THE BOOBOO CAME RIGHT OFF -
Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
So did u buy the Polo shoes or put your Poo Jordans back on?
I woulda had to just buy all new everything after pooin on myself & clothes. Woulda been a hut to the credit card but better than riding in the back seat with window down poo'd out.
Bruh I would've walked out that store rocking a brand new outfit and faked stunted on them like
And as soon as they asked "DANG, WHERE U GO?", I would've told them "I grew tired of the outfit I was wearing and decided to upgrade." Then walk away like I'm da s***. -
Right before I took the series 7 exam in 06. I guess it was nerves..ran into the bathroom, took the furthest stall down and blew it up. Someone else came in the bathroom and said "damn boss" and went right back out. Felt light as a feather afterwards, washed up, took the test and passed...
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Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
Bruh I read this story like 20 different times and I'm still laughing at it the same exact way!!!
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »Bussy_Getta wrote: »I'm not uncomfortable taking ? .
an i wont be uncomfortable watching you do it..
I like the new hair color...gives you a more mature yet sexy look.
Thank you :-) -
Man dro told his story...i took a L kinda similar a month ago...first time ever sumthn like thAt happened
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Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
Im fkn CRYING
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Man in the beauty salon I own, one day I was there early changing out lightbulbs, all of a sudden I had to ? real bad. The bathroom is right next to the shampoo bowls. Man I was in there for 30 minutes at least trying to rush though cuz I knew my employees was coming soon.
They did with their clients. I could hear a girl getting her hair washed and joking around. All of a sudden I hear, "Ew, what's that smell"? I couldn't do ? but wipe, flush, wash my hands and come out. It got dead quiet. I just said morning ladies and dipped the ? out!
My employees ? with me all the time about it smh. -
yall are some weird cats
you couldnt keep the ? to yourself
#bars -
So one Friday night when I'm in college, I'm kicking it with this girl. We walk to 7eleven to get some food, i get 2 big bites, a arizona Arnold Palmer, and Ben & Jerry's double fudge brownie or some ? like that. So we get back to her room and we sitting on the bed, eating, watching Crash.
Everything is going good, we halfway through the movie I'm plotting my moves out. All of a sudden, i feel the Ben & Jerry's mix with the hot dogs (my young ass prolly got chili on it too) and I'm thinking to myself "whyyyyyyyy?"
I normally take really fast ? so under normal circumstances it wouldn't be a big deal, but this won't a normal ? . AND she had the room that connected to the next room with a bathroom in the middle... So after I got to the point where I could move again (not letting out any gas was one of the hardest things I've ever done by the way) I made up something about it had to go do something blah blah blah, i dont even remember what the hell i said.
Went to the lobby bathroom & blew it up. Got back to her room, finished watching the movie and didn't even make a move cuz I was thinking did she know I just took a massive ? -
Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
Son I couldn't breathe for min loooool -
Lurkristocrat wrote: »
..WENT TO LA FOR MY BDAY... MY COUSIN STAY THERE... SO ME HER AND MY WIFE WENT TO ROSCOES... WE ATE, LEFT, GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE WAS LIKE, " IMA SHOW YALL AROUND"...SO I STARTED BUBBLING BUT I DIDNT PAY IT NO MIND... SHE TAKES US TO RODEO DRIVE...WE GET OUT THE CAR AND I FEEL IT!...IM THINKING," ILL GO TO A CORNER STORE OR MCDONALD'S OR SOMETHING.. MANNN ALL I SEE IS LOUIS, GUCCI, FENDI, CARTIER STORES... I WAS LIKE FUCCCCCCKKKK... SO I STARTED WALKING SLOW... THEY LIKE 20 STEPS AHEAD AND I.COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MO... I SEE A RALPH LAUREN STORE AND I GO IN THERE... BY THIS TIME, IM CURRENTLY SHYTIN ON MYSELF... SO I STOP BY THE SHOE SECTION AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE MY SIZE AND ASKED DID THEY HAVE A REST ROOM... EVERY STEP I TAKE, ? COMES OUT
SO I GET TO THE REST ROOM... ? EVERYWHERE!!... LEGS, IM MY SHOE, THE BACK OF MY PANTS... I TOOK ALLLLL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FINISHED... I WAS SWEATIN LIKE A SLAVE I THERE... I WRAPPED MY DRAWZ UP IN PAPERTOWELS AND THREW THEM AWAY..MAN I HAD ? ON THE FLOOR, BOTTOM OF THE TOILET WHERE IT SCEWS IN AT... I CLEANED MY PANTS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE...
SO I LEAVE... MY WIFE AND COUSIN WAS LIKE, DANG, WHERE U GO? AND I SAID, I WAS LOOKING FOR YALL.... SO WE CONTINUE TO WALK AND NOW IM 50 STEPS BEHIND SMELLING LIKE STRAIGHT ? ...
WE LEAVE AND I TRY TO JUMP IN THE BACK SEAT AND LET THE WINDOW DOWN...SHE WAS LIKE,NAW ILL SIT.IN THE BACK...MANNNNN, I WAS SOOOOO READY TO GET BACK TO THE ROOM.
THEN MY COUSIN WANNA RIDE THROUGH THE HILLS AND ? ... MAN I HAD THAT WINDOW ALLLL THW WAY DOWN..
MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "SOMETHING STANK"
BY NOW, ITS BEEN 30MINS AND IM LITERALLY DISGUSTED.. SHE DROP US OFF AND I HURRY UP TO THE SHOWER...
I TILL THIS DAY, I STILL GOT ? STAINS IN THEM PANTS... AND YES I KEPT EM CAUSE O LIKE EM..
Lmaoooo wow -
I haven't had any awkward times or places, but this thread made me think about.....
you know how you be cool holding ? on the drive home....stomach growl and going through it but you clinch your stomach HARD and it calm down...but as SOON as you get to your block and your body know you're near home...you be parking and your body be like ITS TIME NOGGA!!!!!!!!!! NOWWWW!!! NOWWWWW!!!
? forbid if you got an ADT code to punch in. One time I just let the alarm go off... -
Not personally, but I had one horrible experience with someone else's ? . In high school I worked at subway and on Saturday it was just me and the asst manager on afternoon shift. Anyway, there was a lot of construction going on at the plaza where we were located. So one of the construction workers comes in to use the bathroom
Now the bathroom is supposed be for customers only, but we were like just let him use it, who wants to use the porta potties all the time right? So he uses it and leaves, we think nothing of it. Like 15 min later this smell just over powered the entire restaurant!!!
The manager and I were like wtf is that?????!!!!!! So she goes to the bathroom and just starts yelling for me, I get there, and my ? , it was like something out of a horror film. THERE WAS ? EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
There was ? all over the toilet, all over the walls and I swear good, there was ? on the ceiling!!!!! We both liked at each other like no way in hell are we cleaning that! She calls the owner to tell him what happened and that mf tried to convince us to clean it, talking about he'd pay us over time for that ? , mf please!
Anyway we refused, and I ended up calling my mom to drop us off some extra strength febreeze and air freshener we say least didn't have to smell that ? for the rest of our shift. They ended up having to hire one of those hazmat clean up companies come clean it up cuz all the employees refused
The smell and sight of that bathroom has me still traumatised to this day
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I used to keep a T shirt in my vehicle at all times that's sole purpose was to be sacrificed as an ? . People notice a roll of toilet paper but nobody says ? about a t shirt.
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....it happened about 4 months ago....
So I'm cable technician and I work on the road all day. I'm not the type of dude to ? in other people's crib especially strangers/customers. So one day I had knocked off a burger and some greasy ass 'fully loaded' fries from Checkers and it caught up to me about an hour later while I was in the middle of an install.
It got to the point where I was just outside the house standing by my truck clenching my ass 5 minutes at a time trying to get it to chill out. It would go away for like 10 minutes and I'd try to hurry up and finish the job, but every time it came back it was getting worse and worse.
Long story short, I finally finish the install and I'm power walking to the truck with my ass super clenched. I was about 15-20 minutes away from my mom's house and I told myself I could make it.. ? I pulled off and IMMEDIATELY realized I wasn't about to make it. I decide that I'm going to ? in the Checkers cup but could not find anywhere to park where people weren't around............ the pain was becoming unbearable and I realized that I was starting to drive erratically.... so I just pulled over and shat on myself..... not diarrhea ? .. solid grown man shat on myself.. smh
I called my mom and asked her who was at the house. My ? grandma, aunt and cousin who had came to visit from Jamaica were there. I told her I shat on myself and I need her to bring some clean draws outside to me. Shout out to my ? mom.. ain't ask no questions. Got to the house and she brought the draws out and a pack of baby wipes. I went into the basement and "cleaned myself" as much as I could so I could go upstairs and go take a shower without my family knowing that I just ? myself.
Came upstairs and had to give my aunt and grandma a quick one arm hug and kept it moving... they never said anything, but I KNOW they smelled that ? .
Never again though. Found myself in the same situation a few weeks later and straight shat in that old whites lady's studio apartment with no shame. ? was mad but I did not give a ? . That ? will never happen again. -
shittin right now... but here's the story
jr high, lunch ? me up... but I knew I would make it home... always used to have bad stomach issues... but it's gotten a little better...
anyways.. after school, get into the bus and I'm hoping that the traffic over the bridge is clear, cuz without traffic, the bus can have us home in about 10-15 min.. traffic? legit almost an hour to get home. .
horrible street construction here...
we pull away from the school, as we round the school and come to the bridge... this ? is backed way the ? up. . my reaction
then I say, Juanita I need to get off the bus, she said nope it's the rules whatever..
we r still right next to the school, literally.. but no she said she can't let me off... I asked for her to make a right turn n we r in the front again... no she said... then I said well I'm taking a ? on the bus, there's no way I make it home...
she slowly turned to me and said u better not take one ? on this bus, boy if u ? , ur cleaning this whole bus...
rocking back n forth... feeling like this
so I collect myself n I sat back and did some breathing exercises... in n out.. in n out... was able to calm down and make it to the bus stop at home...
it's about a 5 min walk home but I ran.... ran hard and that wS the worst ide ever...
full fledge explosions... I'm stopped in the middle of a field standing there ? my life away..
had to walk like this the rest of the way
worst ? of my life -
I hate that I have like 5 stories for this type of ? smfh
