Really?Who does This?Choosing your Mate over your Child
Comments
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semi-auto-mato wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »how you have enough but not enough,?
I'm not so much arguing with you, more so just reiterating my views.
Whether you agree/disagree is borderline irrelevant to me at this point.semi-auto-mato wrote: ».. One of my son's was just bad. My wife and I couldn't understand it. 3 kids doing it the right way. One kid stealing getting suspended and bad grades. Raised in the same house the same way but wanted to do his own thing ..
"Raised the same way," that was the problem.
Not all kids are the same, they're people, and a person's character being intrinsic is debatable. But inherent evil is a pretty hefty subject..
Disagreeing with you (especially if your other three children were predominantly compliant) isn't "bad." Some kids are actually smarter than others. Rebellion can be a sign of that, especially if the Parenting style being deployed leans on strictness and sheltering.
But I don't know your situation, so won't I disrespect you by insinuating that you didn't do all you knew to do.
But I will say that sometimes "the best of your ability" isn't open-minded enough.. Which can indeed result in failure.
Parenting is something u learn as go. We did all we could. The more we learned the more we applied. I'm not sure how anyone can say another parent failed when there isn't a right or wrong way. U raise ur kids to the best of ur ability. It doesn't mean ur close minded. If u have kids now ur raising them to the best of ur ability. Tomorrow u might learn something and u will apply that. U never stop learning as a parent.
As for raising them all the same I guess that's wrong way to say it. I was trying to get at the fact that my wife and I focused on all of them equally. They are 4 very different kids so we were all over the place but none can say my mom or dad put more into one.
Before u break that down and say some need more attention. Yes we did that when needed. Im not sure how properly get across our parenting thru text. I tried to be the absolute best father. Love compassion time focus energy understanding support cheerleading discipline and more stuff. At the end of the day the child will still do what they want. Sometimes that ? is good and sometimes it's bad.
goat ? ...
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obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »
keep ya trap shut...
you still acting up?
you ain't squeeze ? out ya pusdylips ydt but a condom that feel off that lil dikk ? you fukking with.
come over to a real ? ....I'm crazy an all...but I'll blow ya back out and show you the world at a high legal level..you won't think about Chicago or the ? calling you to see if you ok...only catch is you might get killed trynna leave me...
so what's up -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »How about breathing under water!! :joy: :joy: :joy:
VulcanRaven
keep ya trap shut...
you still acting up?
you ain't squeeze ? out ya pusdylips ydt but a condom that feel off that lil dikk ? you fukking with.
come over to a real ? ....I'm crazy an all...but I'll blow ya back out and show you the world at a high legal level..you won't think about Chicago or the ? calling you to see if you ok...only catch is you might get killed trynna leave me...
so what's up
U said u don't wanna step on my toes but i read this post now my whole foot hurts
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »
keep ya trap shut...
you still acting up?
you ain't squeeze ? out ya pusdylips ydt but a condom that feel off that lil dikk ? you fukking with.
come over to a real ? ....I'm crazy an all...but I'll blow ya back out and show you the world at a high legal level..you won't think about Chicago or the ? calling you to see if you ok...only catch is you might get killed trynna leave me...
so what's up
Ya know it's so interesting that when discussing parenting, the first thing people love to say is "well you don't have kids, what would you know?"
As if you have to be a parent to know its clearly wrong to render a 13 year old homeless for being disrespectful. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »VulcanRaven wrote: »My ? @2stepz_ahead. If you ain't the over thinkingnest ? in the Universe
Teacher: 2+2 = 4
2stepz: How we know the answer is 4? Maybe 2 is actually 1? So 1+1 = 2 plus carry the 1 so the answer is actually 10 million.
Person drowning: Help I'm drowning.
2stepz: How you know you drowning? Did you try swimming? How bout breathing under water?
Random person: The sky is blue
2stepz: You sure the sky is blue? Maybe it just appears blue and it's actually red, but the ultraviolet rays from the sun make it appear blue when it hit's the Earth's atmosphere or maybe it's Aliens?
Really LOL.
real ? .....ask my kids and wife...we had those exact convos... lol.
what y'all don't get is in my line of work and why I'm there is thinking like this.
I already posted how 2+2 doesn't equal 4. the equation is formula dependant. I can dispute that.
and did the person try...
before they needed help swimming?
and the sky is only blue because of the ozone filters...so what's really good?
over thinking makes up for ? who think flipping keys is honorable.
nothing wrong with not being satisfied with what I was told. I need it proven.
? I was fighting with ? about how the speed of light is not constant.
you'd be surprised at the ? I debate about
LOL Do your thing bruh -
obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »
keep ya trap shut...
you still acting up?
you ain't squeeze ? out ya pusdylips ydt but a condom that feel off that lil dikk ? you fukking with.
come over to a real ? ....I'm crazy an all...but I'll blow ya back out and show you the world at a high legal level..you won't think about Chicago or the ? calling you to see if you ok...only catch is you might get killed trynna leave me...
so what's up
Ya know it's so interesting that when discussing parenting, the first thing people love to say is "well you don't have kids, what would you know?"
As if you have to be a parent to know its clearly wrong to render a 13 year old homeless for being disrespectful.
still talking...
I think you need to experience certain things before you can say what you would an wont do.
I said I wouldn't do alot of ? I did...
pressure an life changes things -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »How about breathing under water!! :joy: :joy: :joy:
VulcanRaven
keep ya trap shut...
you still acting up?
you ain't squeeze ? out ya pusdylips ydt but a condom that feel off that lil dikk ? you fukking with.
come over to a real ? ....I'm crazy an all...but I'll blow ya back out and show you the world at a high legal level..you won't think about Chicago or the ? calling you to see if you ok...only catch is you might get killed trynna leave me...
so what's up
U said u don't wanna step on my toes but i read this post now my whole foot hurts
you right...that was a fukk ? move.
my fault -
The user and all related content has been deleted.
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Im not going through this whole thread but I am going to have to cosign 2 stepz sentiments I have read thus far. The man's ideas on what material things in life actually have value may be skewed, but I think he has hit the nail on the head in this case. Why was her firset reaction to post the ? on social media. I understand this generation is different but some things should be kept sacred. Not to mention that people in the area are going to automatically know who she was talking about.
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »
keep ya trap shut...
you still acting up?
you ain't squeeze ? out ya pusdylips ydt but a condom that feel off that lil dikk ? you fukking with.
come over to a real ? ....I'm crazy an all...but I'll blow ya back out and show you the world at a high legal level..you won't think about Chicago or the ? calling you to see if you ok...only catch is you might get killed trynna leave me...
so what's up
Ya know it's so interesting that when discussing parenting, the first thing people love to say is "well you don't have kids, what would you know?"
As if you have to be a parent to know its clearly wrong to render a 13 year old homeless for being disrespectful.
still talking...
I think you need to experience certain things before you can say what you would an wont do.
I said I wouldn't do alot of ? I did...
pressure an life changes things
No I don't. Have you ever experienced the North Pole? Probably not. Do you know it's cold there? I hope you do.
I don't need to experience parenthood to know its wrong to put a 13 year old to be homeless and I also never said I wouldn't do it... I said it is WRONG. If I became a parent and did he same, I would still be wrong. Parents love living in this world where as long as they try their best, they're great parents. They're very fragile people when it comes to that. Some people just aren't good parents, plain and simple. I could try my best and practice everyday to be a good basketball player and I'd still suck. It is what it is. -
Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
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Two stepz was either ? or coked up when he latched on to this thread..you can't convince me otherwise.
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BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
Well said. That's what it boils down to. The idea that u "have to" kick a 13 year ild out bevause u feel u have no other options shows how flawed your parenting skills are. U can tell with the amount of horrible kids now how neglectful or lacking the parents are. U can also blame it on single parent homes or two parent homes where the parents just don't know how to parent. Period.
Someone said they had multiple kids in the home and one came out bad. Everyone who's had a kid or has sibling knows damn well each kid is raised slightly different. The first born is not raised the same way as the last born. The first is generally the test child. U tweak as u go by. Bottom line is, if your kid is horrible at 13, they're a direct reflection of the parents -
BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
what are "good parenting skills/tools"
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manofmorehouse wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
Well said. That's what it boils down to. The idea that u "have to" kick a 13 year ild out bevause u feel u have no other options shows how flawed your parenting skills are. U can tell with the amount of horrible kids now how neglectful or lacking the parents are. U can also blame it on single parent homes or two parent homes where the parents just don't know how to parent. Period.
Someone said they had multiple kids in the home and one came out bad. Everyone who's had a kid or has sibling knows damn well each kid is raised slightly different. The first born is not raised the same way as the last born. The first is generally the test child. U tweak as u go by. Bottom line is, if your kid is horrible at 13, they're a direct reflection of the parents
But to say blame I think it not quite right because they are a product of their parents and their parents and their parents, all the way back to adam and eve. And if you lack those skills it is probably hard to look at yourself objectively and say "hey wait, I lack good parenting skills I should fix that", sometimes that happens but usually not. Sometimes they might say "well I turned out fine and my parents were ? " without realizing they are most likely going to fall into the cycle too because when pressure comes the tools the parents used are going to get polished up and reused unless they've acquired better tools/skills.
It's a vicious cycle, all over the planet. -
If the genders were reversed and a teenage boy was kicked out for disrespecting his fathers gf this wouldnt be a topic and that teenage boy wouldnt get as much sympathy as what this girl is getting. For some reason lil girl or teenage girls trigger action and sympathy.
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semi-auto-mato wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
what are "good parenting skills/tools"
For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out. -
If the genders were reversed and a teenage boy was kicked out for disrespecting his fathers gf this wouldnt be a topic and that teenage boy wouldnt get as much sympathy as what this girl is getting. For some reason lil girl or teenage girls trigger action and sympathy.
Bad parenting is bad parenting, regardless of gender. I'd make the argument that it's worst to do for boys because they'll grow up to be men expected to be the head of household. If they're going in as I'll equipped to raise children, it ? up the family dynamic before it even starts. This thread May have started off as a joke but it definitely is exposing a lot of the issues we as blacks pass on to our kids through bad parenting choices -
BiblicalAtheist wrote: »manofmorehouse wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
Well said. That's what it boils down to. The idea that u "have to" kick a 13 year ild out bevause u feel u have no other options shows how flawed your parenting skills are. U can tell with the amount of horrible kids now how neglectful or lacking the parents are. U can also blame it on single parent homes or two parent homes where the parents just don't know how to parent. Period.
Someone said they had multiple kids in the home and one came out bad. Everyone who's had a kid or has sibling knows damn well each kid is raised slightly different. The first born is not raised the same way as the last born. The first is generally the test child. U tweak as u go by. Bottom line is, if your kid is horrible at 13, they're a direct reflection of the parents
But to say blame I think it not quite right because they are a product of their parents and their parents and their parents, all the way back to adam and eve. And if you lack those skills it is probably hard to look at yourself objectively and say "hey wait, I lack good parenting skills I should fix that", sometimes that happens but usually not. Sometimes they might say "well I turned out fine and my parents were ? " without realizing they are most likely going to fall into the cycle too because when pressure comes the tools the parents used are going to get polished up and reused unless they've acquired better tools/skills.
It's a vicious cycle, all over the planet.
Definitely a vicious cycle but the only way to stop it is to realize you're moving wrong and correct it. There are parenting classes, services, etc. We look at it as an insult to say we need help raising our kids but do ? like put 13 year olds out on the street. Where's the logic?? -
why is it 9:40 pm and this child hasn't eaten dinner yet?
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My 2 cents, is how was the child raise is the first question, if she is 13 and then she was born in 2004 or 2003. Then we must ask where is the father and other relatives in this, how was the child treated, what was their environment, what are their mental capabilities, and what is actually going on?
We do not have enough information, all we know the mother kicked the child out and she is 13 years old for disrespecting her boyfriend. We don't know the mother and nor the boyfriend and the child. If the child is hungry and isn't even eating properly then we know something is up.
So I'm going to propose the environment is not a good enviroment for the child and we'll see if the child does better under this woman and if so then we can propose the child was in a bad situation and if not then we have to evaluate if there are psychological trauma to the child. All in all this a child, a human being who's brain is not developed and just enter puberty. Children for the most part do not like their parent's new boyfriend/girlfriend. Why because they are not their parent and someone usually asserting ? or rule without developing a relationship. -
BiblicalAtheist wrote: »semi-auto-mato wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
what are "good parenting skills/tools"
For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.
This implies that there is a right way and a wrong way to raise a child. it does not take into account that each child is different. children are different from their parents and siblings. u may have never talked back to ur parents and then u have a child that talks back all the time. u cant fall back on how ur parents raised u because they never had to deal with that situation. if we go by what u are saying ur parents would be bad parents because they didn't prepare u for any and everything. that's impossible to do.
The bolded makes you sound violent lol. do u spank ur kids? that's questionable parenting. they will be scarred for life. -
semi-auto-mato wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »semi-auto-mato wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
what are "good parenting skills/tools"
For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.
This implies that there is a right way and a wrong way to raise a child. it does not take into account that each child is different. children are different from their parents and siblings. u may have never talked back to ur parents and then u have a child that talks back all the time. u cant fall back on how ur parents raised u because they never had to deal with that situation. if we go by what u are saying ur parents would be bad parents because they didn't prepare u for any and everything. that's impossible to do.
The bolded makes you sound violent lol. do u spank ur kids? that's questionable parenting. they will be scarred for life.
Why are you making it seem like there isn't a right or wrong way? There are wrong ways to raise kids, and that's how some people lose custody because they were raising them wrong. We know now beating your kids is the wrong way. We know neglecting them is the wrong way. We even go so far as to say if you do certain things or don't do certain things before the child is 5, it impacts them and sometimes negatively, which obviously was the wrong way to do it.
I didn't imply what is good for one child is good for all, I don't even see how your infer that from what I wrote.
What do you mean 'falling back on how your parents raised you'? I didn't said what I might deal with my parents dealt with and because of that I will act just like them.
If spanking worked you'd only have to spank a child once, but if a spank didn't work, you might have to find another tool or skill to deal with the situation. -
BiblicalAtheist wrote: »semi-auto-mato wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »semi-auto-mato wrote: »BiblicalAtheist wrote: »Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.
what are "good parenting skills/tools"
For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.
This implies that there is a right way and a wrong way to raise a child. it does not take into account that each child is different. children are different from their parents and siblings. u may have never talked back to ur parents and then u have a child that talks back all the time. u cant fall back on how ur parents raised u because they never had to deal with that situation. if we go by what u are saying ur parents would be bad parents because they didn't prepare u for any and everything. that's impossible to do.
The bolded makes you sound violent lol. do u spank ur kids? that's questionable parenting. they will be scarred for life.
Why are you making it seem like there isn't a right or wrong way? There are wrong ways to raise kids, and that's how some people lose custody because they were raising them wrong. We know now beating your kids is the wrong way. We know neglecting them is the wrong way. We even go so far as to say if you do certain things or don't do certain things before the child is 5, it impacts them and sometimes negatively, which obviously was the wrong way to do it.
I didn't imply what is good for one child is good for all, I don't even see how your infer that from what I wrote.
What do you mean 'falling back on how your parents raised you'? I didn't said what I might deal with my parents dealt with and because of that I will act just like them.
If spanking worked you'd only have to spank a child once, but if a spank didn't work, you might have to find another tool or skill to deal with the situation.
u said parenting involves skills/tools taught to u by ur parents. the use of skill and tools says u think there is a certain level of expertise that comes from ur parents. I basically asked what if ur parents never had to deal with it. how can they teach u how to deal with it? how can you fall back on what your parents taught u?
how can u not see what u implied? u said there is a right way and wrong way. u just said it again. u are making a blanket statement and not a situational one. the mom kicked out her 13 year old daughter. she is wrong in ur eye because u just don't kick a kid out. what if the kid attacked her or her boyfriend? what is the right way to handle that situation? tell her to go to her room? lock ur door when u sleep at night? shrug it off?
who said beating ur kids is wrong? plenty of folks believe in it and some don't. it works with some and some it does not. some kids that were never spanked end up being horrible people and folks always say well if they were spanked they would have turned out differently. some kids that are spanked turn out to be violent and folks say that's because they were hit as kids. whats right and whats wrong? there is no right or wrong way. im not talking extreme cases. im not talking about neglect or child abuse. im talking about normal child rearing.
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