What would you do?
SimplyKrys
Members Posts: 763 ✭✭✭✭
Okay so here's the deal, I have been with my bf since 6/22/06 and I currently live with him, his mom, his dad, his brother, his brother's gf and their 8 y.o. son in his mom's house. I have been living here since 4/12/12 after moving out of my drug (dust) addicted cousin's house after one of her stoner friends tried to get some na-na while I was trying to sleep one night. Ever since I have been living here I graduated college, and saved up a little over $9,000 for an apartment. I finished college in December of 2015 and unfortunately I still don't have a job in my field (journalism).
There are times where my bf likes to say, "You are not related to anyone at the house," "You have a place to live because of me" and "Your time here is short." He has not said any of those things in a while but he has said those things more than once. My mom says that I can come back home but I'd rather not because she lives in a ratchet apartment with no heat or running water. On top of that I can't stand her bf and he's the main reason why I moved out in the first place, when I moved out we got into a big fight and they said that he (my bf) is going to start beating my ass.
Back in December he said that he was going to move out in January, but that turned out to be b.s. because he's still here. Honestly I think he just said that to scare me. On top of all of that his dad says that him and the mom are going to be going back to Haiti in about a year in a half and if no one takes over the house then he will sell it. About three weeks ago my bf even called me "convenient ? ." Fast forward to now and all of a sudden we are getting along much better but at the same time I know I need to leave these people's house. The only reason I am really still here is because I work part time at a restaurant and I don't make nowhere near enough money to live on my own. A friend said to me as long as you pay your rent for a few months upfront you will be fine.
Yesterday he said that the only way he would consider getting a place with me is if I got a higher paying job. He said, "I don't want to live with you if you are still working at that restaurant and can't contribute."
My friend made the point that if he is making more than you, you shouldn't be splitting things down the middle he should be paying more for the rent and utilities.
So if you were me what would you do? Try to get a full time job and get a place with the bf....or say eff it and go totally on your own whether or not you get a higher paying job?
Keep it real...
There are times where my bf likes to say, "You are not related to anyone at the house," "You have a place to live because of me" and "Your time here is short." He has not said any of those things in a while but he has said those things more than once. My mom says that I can come back home but I'd rather not because she lives in a ratchet apartment with no heat or running water. On top of that I can't stand her bf and he's the main reason why I moved out in the first place, when I moved out we got into a big fight and they said that he (my bf) is going to start beating my ass.
Back in December he said that he was going to move out in January, but that turned out to be b.s. because he's still here. Honestly I think he just said that to scare me. On top of all of that his dad says that him and the mom are going to be going back to Haiti in about a year in a half and if no one takes over the house then he will sell it. About three weeks ago my bf even called me "convenient ? ." Fast forward to now and all of a sudden we are getting along much better but at the same time I know I need to leave these people's house. The only reason I am really still here is because I work part time at a restaurant and I don't make nowhere near enough money to live on my own. A friend said to me as long as you pay your rent for a few months upfront you will be fine.
Yesterday he said that the only way he would consider getting a place with me is if I got a higher paying job. He said, "I don't want to live with you if you are still working at that restaurant and can't contribute."
My friend made the point that if he is making more than you, you shouldn't be splitting things down the middle he should be paying more for the rent and utilities.
So if you were me what would you do? Try to get a full time job and get a place with the bf....or say eff it and go totally on your own whether or not you get a higher paying job?
Keep it real...
Comments
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SimplyKrys wrote: »Okay so here's the deal, I have been with my bf since 6/22/06 and I currently live with him, his mom, his dad, his brother, his brother's gf and their 8 y.o. son in his mom's house. I have been living here since 4/12/12 after moving out of my drug (dust) addicted cousin's house after one of her stoner friends tried to get some na-na while I was trying to sleep one night. Ever since I have been living here I graduated college, and saved up a little over $9,000 for an apartment. I finished college in December of 2015 and unfortunately I still don't have a job in my field (journalism).
There are times where my bf likes to say, "You are not related to anyone at the house," "You have a place to live because of me" and "Your time here is short." He has not said any of those things in a while but he has said those things more than once. My mom says that I can come back home but I'd rather not because she lives in a ratchet apartment with no heat or running water. On top of that I can't stand her bf and he's the main reason why I moved out in the first place, when I moved out we got into a big fight and they said that he (my bf) is going to start beating my ass.
Back in December he said that he was going to move out in January, but that turned out to be b.s. because he's still here. Honestly I think he just said that to scare me. On top of all of that his dad says that him and the mom are going to be going back to Haiti in about a year in a half and if no one takes over the house then he will sell it. About three weeks ago my bf even called me "convenient ? ." Fast forward to now and all of a sudden we are getting along much better but at the same time I know I need to leave these people's house. The only reason I am really still here is because I work part time at a restaurant and I don't make nowhere near enough money to live on my own. A friend said to me as long as you pay your rent for a few months upfront you will be fine.
Yesterday he said that the only way he would consider getting a place with me is if I got a higher paying job. He said, "I don't want to live with you if you are still working at that restaurant and can't contribute."
My friend made the point that if he is making more than you, you shouldn't be splitting things down the middle he should be paying more for the rent and utilities.
So if you were me what would you do? Try to get a full time job and get a place with the bf....or say eff it and go totally on your own whether or not you get a higher paying job?
Keep it real...
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I would go my own way, like ? I'm gonna sit there and be talked to like that, I'll live in a box if I have too.
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Don't move in with him. You're just gonna make a bad situation worse because you both will feel like you're stuck there if worse comes to worst.
Get your own place, create a little distance between you and your guy and then evaluate if you're with him out of necessity or because you really truly wanna be with him.
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First of all, leave dude regardless of what ends up happening. There are lots of issues with what you posted, but one thing you have to realize is that you are in a toxic relationship and should want out.
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Second, keep saving your money and look for work. Journalism is an incredibly hard field to get into, so dont only look for journalism jobs. Look for anything that pays decent money. Where do you live btw?
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that ? aint a real ? ..
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Second, keep saving your money and look for work. Journalism is an incredibly hard field to get into, so dont only look for journalism jobs. Look for anything that pays decent money. Where do you live btw?
I live in southern CT which is also part of the problem, it's expensive af here. -
Greatest opening paragraph to a thread this year
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CashmoneyDux wrote: »SimplyKrys wrote: »Okay so here's the deal, I have been with my bf since 6/22/06 and I currently live with him, his mom, his dad, his brother, his brother's gf and their 8 y.o. son in his mom's house. I have been living here since 4/12/12 after moving out of my drug (dust) addicted cousin's house after one of her stoner friends tried to get some na-na while I was trying to sleep one night. Ever since I have been living here I graduated college, and saved up a little over $9,000 for an apartment. I finished college in December of 2015 and unfortunately I still don't have a job in my field (journalism).
There are times where my bf likes to say, "You are not related to anyone at the house," "You have a place to live because of me" and "Your time here is short." He has not said any of those things in a while but he has said those things more than once. My mom says that I can come back home but I'd rather not because she lives in a ratchet apartment with no heat or running water. On top of that I can't stand her bf and he's the main reason why I moved out in the first place, when I moved out we got into a big fight and they said that he (my bf) is going to start beating my ass.
Back in December he said that he was going to move out in January, but that turned out to be b.s. because he's still here. Honestly I think he just said that to scare me. On top of all of that his dad says that him and the mom are going to be going back to Haiti in about a year in a half and if no one takes over the house then he will sell it. About three weeks ago my bf even called me "convenient ? ." Fast forward to now and all of a sudden we are getting along much better but at the same time I know I need to leave these people's house. The only reason I am really still here is because I work part time at a restaurant and I don't make nowhere near enough money to live on my own. A friend said to me as long as you pay your rent for a few months upfront you will be fine.
Yesterday he said that the only way he would consider getting a place with me is if I got a higher paying job. He said, "I don't want to live with you if you are still working at that restaurant and can't contribute."
My friend made the point that if he is making more than you, you shouldn't be splitting things down the middle he should be paying more for the rent and utilities.
So if you were me what would you do? Try to get a full time job and get a place with the bf....or say eff it and go totally on your own whether or not you get a higher paying job?
Keep it real...
lol where is this from ? -
Beech Oss Neega wrote: »Don't move in with him. You're just gonna make a bad situation worse because you both will feel like you're stuck there if worse comes to worst.
Get your own place, create a little distance between you and your guy and then evaluate if you're with him out of necessity or because you really truly wanna be with him.
This is what I am starting to ask myself now. I honestly feel like if I got a higher paying job and left tomorrow things probably wouldn't last. -
Greatest opening paragraph to a thread this year
It had everything...? ass boyfriend, attempted ? and a useless college degree -
Damn moms aint got heat or running water...
You should give ur moms that 9k -
Heres what you do...
1. Leave him
2. Move in with me
3. Lets cop this apt
Bonggg! -
yellowtapesport wrote: »Damn moms aint got heat or running water...
You should give ur moms that 9k
I would help my mom if I could, but right now I need to cover my own ass. -
A ? calling you "convenient ? " should be a hell of a lot more than a red flag
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You been with this ? since the miami heat won the title with shaq and dwade and he calling you convenient ? ?
Aye I aint casting aspersions but he been hitting up backpage hoes -
A ? calling you "convenient ? " should be a hell of a lot more than a red flag
Trust me it is, but the thing is I thought I could make it work with this man because he is my h.s. sweetheart and we have a lot of history together but now I see otherwise. -
You an ? bruh lmao -
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Can we get a sample of that convenient ? ?
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Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »Can we get a sample of that convenient ? ?
No! -
Not trying to kick you while you're down but that's an incredibly hard major to break through in, if you ever go back to school go in a field you actually got a snow ? chance getting a job in within a reasonable time.
As for your guy leave him, he ain't feeling you 100 percent while you down then so you should part ways with him now, so I say move out go find you some cheap housing until you get on your feet.
Last but not least never fully depend on anyone for anything not even loved ones, because if things ever get sour it's something that can be held over your head. Good luck. -
Anyway break up w the ? and bounce, cuz i ll be damNed if a ? who lives at home is clowning me bout anything.....w that 9k, get u a studio or find some roommates to split the cost...ask @Stew bout that...
Move secretely ( cuz that ? gonna try to be all up in ur new crib) and get on ur grind.... -
First of all, leave dude regardless of what ends up happening. There are lots of issues with what you posted, but one thing you have to realize is that you are in a toxic relationship and should want out.
Agreed please leave asap -
There s no shame in geing on government assistance while u get ur ? together
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOF1NwQN57M
