Instrumental keystyle listen up

Jsince90s
Jsince90s Members Posts: 180
edited October 2010 in Body SLAM
I was readin your rhymes, and got inspired to lay suttin down for some fun, i switch up topics to keep it brief this might be typed but it basicly was a freestyle. Even though this is some raw underground ish i put it in this sub forum coz it feels like a cipher and i see my work as poetry. Please give honest opinions bout my stuff would like to get a mic and record my flow but hey, feel free to drop a lil suttin.

They wanna hate of course coz my stle be raw
pause wait for the appluade
he said what you rhymin for your timings poor
i left him lookin like a slimy corpse
illest on the ic board
be judged when i see lord
thats if i do coz between me and you
ive bettered myself
when my mind was messed prayers didnt help
same with the kid who hung himself with the belt errr
the weight i move is welter aint greedy i got shelter
he never wanna help ya
thats why moneys controlling our lives
jets should have been patrollin the skies
but instead they told us lies
george bush trollin it live
911 prevailed they runnin ? from hell
wicked winnin the battles in unseen realms
brainwashing young boys n girls
using ? with chains and ?
dont you see the pictures
the messages subliminal its criminal, pitiful
i never got picked in school coz i couldent kick the ball
just another brick the wall crumbled with
another crayon that got jumbled with
the junk in the box smokin that monk gettin hot
not high of the rock cops look in the socks
so we hide thai inna bag next to our ?
roam risky roads lookin for shots
trapped in a hustle lookin for someone to love you
depression got you stressin wonderin what slugs do
everyone has a cold place deep in there mind
thats why i levitate of my feet when i rhyme
and this is just a small piece of the pie
keystyle accapella no production
or introduction needed
so know if you see this
im only spittin not to leave you seedless
Js been dwellin with the demons
killin it without reason
before you were breathin or even a ?
so stop teamin up beats wheelin up
leona keep bleedin love
but onmyownah keep bleedin blood
i hope your feelin, trust

Comments

  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited September 2010
    The last stanzas was nice!

    Over all it was a great piece!

    I sooo wanna contribute but what's the beat to this though?
  • Jsince90s
    Jsince90s Members Posts: 180
    edited September 2010
  • ThaChozenWun
    ThaChozenWun Members Posts: 9,390
    edited October 2010
    Dope rhyme pollutin, I'm concluded Im the sickest out
    Drop Jewels the kid a jeweler, the ruler and im'a kick em out
    Mr. Do it all so aint a thang Ima kid about
    Kush by the bundle so high that I be liftin clouds
    Split mic personality, every beat is foul to me
    Style never turned sour B I switch it up on the hourly
    They shoulda never let these dudes in
    them and fire is illusions tossin in my two cents
    now whos this? Yall aint forgot its that ? named chozen
    glitter game frozen, ride the beat like I hit the game strokin
    waiting to exhale croakin but me I is the the potion
    fanbase bigger than the ocean, universe level first
    no beginning no end just a whole lot of beautiful
    my dope spots the musical, my words knock where you would go
    Im money in the bank so rarely do I hope to score
    hotter than a ? I got hell in my vocal cords
    Step in to shut it down I kick em in never open doors
    this is just a taste, more to come I know you hopin for it