Poly-life or nah...
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MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »AggieLean. wrote: »So, the relationship you have with your current dude is pretty much dead, as it seems you’ve moved on mentally, just not physically yet. You haven’t made your move yet because you feel sorry for him.
I don’t know about the poly thing. Just seems like a bad idea to just up and move to Detroit. It don’t even seem like he in a position to handle 4 wives, and plus he’s going to have to take care of y’alls babies too. Just seems like a bad move. There’s going to be some struggle, and it’s cold up there in the D
Not 4, just us 2.
I want to go back to school and work part-time and she wants to work, too. It's really a good thing that we want to, imo.
My biggest issue is not only the weather, but the son we have. I don't feel comfortable with taking him up there and finding a new speech therapist or school, but I know that it can be done with some work.
you gotta ask yourself how will all this yall are doing look to the kids?
? them kids if the parents ain't happy then kids ain't going to be happy.
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AggieLean. wrote: »You can still be nice and not be a pushover. Just sounds like ole dude don’t give a ? . Not wanting to talk or argue, playing the game over satisfying his girl..lowkey he being selfish as well
Nah. Being "nice" IS being a pushover. I thought most guys realized this before leaving high school. You don't need to be HoH 24/7 to be a pushover but to just always be "nice"? Nah that's spineless.
I'm a good dude. Some say a great one but I'm definitely not nice. Then again not being nice is exactly why I've learned to be a good dude feel me?
Be rational, be sensible, be secure and outspoken but the only person who needs you to ever be "nice" is your mama. -
How is it dumb...if you don't mind me asking
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radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
She got 3 different baby daddies before hitting 30 and loves to argue.
She's far from a catch breh. -
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
I actually want him to get another woman, but he doesn't think that she'll go for it.
Besides, who gets jealous over a ? who plays the game all the time???
The fact that he feels that way plays a part in you not finding him attractive anymore subconsciously I'm sure. Now I see why you labeled him a "nice guy". He's at a point in life where he's always afraid to try. Wouldn't be surprised if people pleasing is a priority to him in life and it never should be.
He needs to work on himself cause it sounds like he's got self confidence/self love issues. If he doesn't nip it in the bud that will affect his love life and everything else for the rest of his days. No matter what until that is done every woman he encounters will want to be ghost and as far away from him as possible after a while just like you right now.
I don't believe that some men want to be monogamous.
I'd respect a man more for telling me what he is and isn't built for.
And he's not built for poly-life.
I wouldn't call it 'people-pleasing' but some of our problems stem from the fact that he doesn't want to have an argument. For me, that's an issue.
could it be that you are TOO selfish?
kinda sounds like you creating a situation to have an excuse.
Ok.
I don't understand how a person can be TOO selfish about what they want/need.
you can be too selfish......they is a thing called compromise.
i am sure he is compromising something....you just feeling like you want to have a screaming nut...ok
once thats over...then what?
i think you should think about how you move around him....it has to be a reason.
When a person tells you that they don't want to change or see the need for change....who ends compromising? -
MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
When MEN say that they're 'nice guys' that's usually code for ? boy, simp, or little ? .
Or.... you could genuinely be a good person with
morals -
I actually don't like to argue.
I don't even raise my voice.
But some things NEED/HAVE TO be said. That's just clear communication imo. -
Busta Carmichael wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
She got 3 different baby daddies before hitting 30 and loves to argue.
She's far from a catch breh.
Nah..I'm not a 'catch'.
I'm regular af out here. -
Busta Carmichael wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
When MEN say that they're 'nice guys' that's usually code for ? boy, simp, or little ? .
Or.... you could genuinely be a good person with
morals
Ehh...that means you have a small ? . -
MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Busta Carmichael wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
She got 3 different baby daddies before hitting 30 and loves to argue.
She's far from a catch breh.
Nah..I'm not a 'catch'.
I'm regular af out here.MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Busta Carmichael wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
When MEN say that they're 'nice guys' that's usually code for ? boy, simp, or little ? .
Or.... you could genuinely be a good person with
morals
Ehh...that means you have a small ? .
Im legit happy I didn't end up with an American woman smh -
Poly-life is really just another family dynamic.
Just like a nuclear, blended, or single-parent home. It's how some people live. Just because we've been conditioned to think that monogamy is the 'right' way to go about things, doesn't mean that it's the only way. -
Busta Carmichael wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Busta Carmichael wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
She got 3 different baby daddies before hitting 30 and loves to argue.
She's far from a catch breh.
Nah..I'm not a 'catch'.
I'm regular af out here.MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Busta Carmichael wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
When MEN say that they're 'nice guys' that's usually code for ? boy, simp, or little ? .
Or.... you could genuinely be a good person with
morals
Ehh...that means you have a small ? .
Im legit happy I didn't end up with an American woman smh
We're all not bad.
An old acquaintance of mine is marrying an African man. I'm not sure what country he's from, but she's a great catch.
NO kids/abortions/STDs..decent job...ok family.
I wouldn't lump all AA women in the same category.
My bestie just got married and they have 2 kids together and she's in the middle of getting her Masters.
In fact, the majority of my friends are married now (even the ? ones) or planning a wedding rn. -
I think you should marry each other...then he should marry his other baby mommas then they should marry all of thier baby daddies...then yall kids should marry thier baby daddies
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Busta Carmichael wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »radio_santana wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »why cant you get a ? an hold the ? at night?
Because she thinks that he's a "nice guy". The minute a woman starts thinking that about her guy it's a wrap.
But i thought women wanted nice guys
When MEN say that they're 'nice guys' that's usually code for ? boy, simp, or little ? .
Or.... you could genuinely be a good person with
morals
You see an old lady that needs help crossing the street and you help her. You already headed in that direction and it's the right thing to do.
You get to the other side and another ? is there. Will you also help her? A nice guy would help HER too thus never getting to his destination. Where as a dude like myself will be like "oh well that's her problem I need to reach my destination not gonna keep crossing back & forth" plus I already did a good deed before that.
To put it in rap terms. In terms of how they carry themselves musically and persona wise Drake is a nice guy while Kendrick is an everyman like most of us. Doesn't mean Kendrick is incapable of good deeds or "being nice" but he's not "the nice guy". There's and edge there that if found could cut ya. You get it?
So people gotta be careful out there when labeling themselves the nice guy. It might not mean to you what it means to the rest of society but no matter what it will always mean "sucker" to them.
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MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Poly-life is really just another family dynamic.
Just like a nuclear, blended, or single-parent home. It's how some people live. Just because we've been conditioned to think that monogamy is the 'right' way to go about things, doesn't mean that it's the only way.
Here we go with this ? ...
if it was the other way we would be conditioned to think "poly life" is the way it should be,,
We are conditioned to call dogs dogs.. cats cats.. and think of fire as hot...
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I think you should marry each other...then he should marry his other baby mommas then they should marry all of thier baby daddies...then yall kids should marry thier baby daddies
Shut yo fine ass up -
Damn shorty first you hitting ? w cars and gettin felonies now you tryna move to Detroit for that outside ?
Inshallah you make the right decision -
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MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »I actually don't like to argue.
I don't even raise my voice.
But some things NEED/HAVE TO be said. That's just clear communication imo.
So, he ain’t tryna have a conversation at all if there’s a problem? You ain’t notice this when y’all first met and went through the dating process? I’d ask him the same question about you as well.
Honestly, from the little I’ve read, both of y’all got self esteem issues. You’re dissatisfied with life and I’m sure he is too. There’s a reason you left baby daddy #2 to begin with. Those problems will arise again when you go back to him. Before you or him make a move, y’all need to talk or go see a counselor or some ? . Exhaust all options before giving up -
playmaker88 wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Poly-life is really just another family dynamic.
Just like a nuclear, blended, or single-parent home. It's how some people live. Just because we've been conditioned to think that monogamy is the 'right' way to go about things, doesn't mean that it's the only way.
Here we go with this ? ...
if it was the other way we would be conditioned to think "poly life" is the way it should be,,
We are conditioned to call dogs dogs.. cats cats.. and think of fire as hot...
Most people that I've talked to feel the same way I do. It's about finding what works for YOU.
It's conditioning because you don't have any other options outside of that. -
Native.AggieLean. wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »I actually don't like to argue.
I don't even raise my voice.
But some things NEED/HAVE TO be said. That's just clear communication imo.
So, he ain’t tryna have a conversation at all if there’s a problem? You ain’t notice this when y’all first met and went through the dating process? I’d ask him the same question about you as well.
Honestly, from the little I’ve read, both of y’all got self esteem issues. You’re dissatisfied with life and I’m sure he is too. There’s a reason you left baby daddy #2 to begin with. Those problems will arise again when you go back to him. Before you or him make a move, y’all need to talk or go see a counselor or some ? . Exhaust all options before giving up
Actually, we talk. Just not about how he feels as it relates to our relationship.
#2 left because he wanted to. We were already broken up so ehh.. -
MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »
Damn Copper she trynna make u 4×4 -
Busta Carmichael wrote: »MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »
Damn Copper she trynna make u 4×4
Nah
He's cool people -
That ? putting that polygamist ? in your head is gaming you. That’s baby daddy #2 right? He miss you and want you back...he just wanna have other ? too tho. You talk like you cool with that, but once the bullets really start flying, you ain’t gone like that ? .
Either that, or he’s gone find himself a ? up there that ain’t gone tolerate that and he gone drop you and you gone be stuck up there
