MY GREY AREA by VSOP

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VSOP
VSOP Members Posts: 195 ✭✭
edited August 2010 in Waiting To Exhale
sum ? I wrote-comments welcome




she put grey hairs on my head like Indiana Jones' Holy Goblet
I think her makin me miserable was her only object
she was spoiled rich with nonsense
why did I stay with her?
her beauty was my Dime Defense
tomorrow I'll be happy when shes my pretense
my hands tattoo her ass for life like wet cement
my angelic demon
halo cocked to the side of her horns
my ring finger fingered her soul
my ringtone is her moan
she deepthroats until the curtains close
then behind close doors
the truth comes out
I'm from the south but shes from under me
and I'm not talkin Miami when I say shes from the Heat
my bad habit had me goin backwards in happiness
but she kept pushin me back on the mattress and wouldnt let me get up
this love had me pissy ?
hopin I wouldnt remember in the AM
my devil in the red dress
my pretty lil Satan
I had no idea what I was in for
stuck on a treadmill
starin at my past lives like mirrors on the gym walls
sinful texts to exxes
was the only way to give my frown a lil leverage
from my addictive medicine
my fix
my drug
my chick
I loved
once
now I wanna ? this ? up

times change and rattled in my pocket
my grey hairs gone as long as I keep my ? out of the socket
she'll always have my love
drinkin my blood out of her unholy chalice


if home is where the heart is
I really wanna ask her how comfortable my couch is...

Comments

  • Legend24
    Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I like this one, very vivid. I liked the last two bars, good way to end it off. Keep up the good work.
  • VSOP
    VSOP Members Posts: 195 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Legend24 wrote: »
    I like this one, very vivid. I liked the last two bars, good way to end it off. Keep up the good work.

    appreciate the feedback

    I actually had the last 2 lines jotted down on a scrap piece of paper from work and was waitin on the perfect piece to use it-i actually started writin this KNOWIN how I wanted to end it so..yeah i wrote this ? backwards you could say

    thanks for takin the time to read and reply fam-I tried to switch up my style on this one
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited August 2010
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    LOL at wrote this backwards!

    Anything to get the creative juice flowing, I feel it VSOP,

    This was like watching a movie on HD hehehe..

    Thanks for sharing yo! Imma thrive off y'all's creativity soon.. Watch..
  • VSOP
    VSOP Members Posts: 195 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
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    tupacfan wrote: »
    LOL at wrote this backwards!

    Anything to get the creative juice flowing, I feel it VSOP,

    This was like watching a movie on HD hehehe..

    Thanks for sharing yo! Imma thrive off y'all's creativity soon.. Watch..

    lol what? i can't write backwards every now n then?!? lol
  • DarcSkies
    DarcSkies Members Posts: 13,791 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
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    my hands tattoo her ass for life like wet cement
    nice.................
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited August 2010
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    VSOP wrote: »
    lol what? i can't write backwards every now n then?!? lol

    lol, never said you can't vsop. I just find it funny. But no, on the real, that's like one of thee best ways to write! and you've done a good job doing that..