Raw-Material vs Legend24
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Tha Killer wrote: »Punchlines: Self explanatory
Multis/Multi-Syllabic Rhyming: Self explanatory
Flow: Which verse flowed better than the other as you read it?
Personals: Which verse "went in" harder than the other? Which MC incorporated more info about his opponent into his verse the most brutally?
Wordplay: Who had the most puns, metaphors, similes and other plays on words?
Delivery: Who executed their verse better? Basically, who incorporated all of the above into their verse, in the most cohesive way?
Impact: Which verse "hit" you harder? Which was the more enjoyable read of the two
Structure: Which verse had the better structure of the two, and was easiest to read?
These are the things we ask you judge/vote on, and give a small synopsis on who you thought won it, and why. That's all. You don't gotta break it down line by line like Young-Ice did.
Raw was better in all that^^^^....I already said this. FOH if you don't like my vote. This is why this forum is dead. Dude got an opinion for a reason don't question my opinion when you ask for it. -
FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »Raw was better in all that^^^^....I already said this. FOH if you don't like my vote. This is why this forum is dead. Dude got an opinion for a reason don't question my opinion when you ask for it.
The rules of this forum have always been to explain your vote. For people just to say "Raw won" and leave is counterproductive. It helps each battler improve when you give them a lil' feed on their battle. ? I don't know why you took that as a personal attack, but it helps when you let the battlers know what made you vote the way you voted, and how they could do better in their next battle. -
Haha, dude be catching feelings in here... taking it all personal and ? .
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FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »Raw took it.You guys gotta explain your vote if you want it to count...FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »you lost....he won....that's my opinion...you never said explain....you said vote....stop trying to disqualify votes that didn't go to you.
edit....ok so rules do say explain. Therefore I'll explain. I have a personal opinion of both verses....I gave a vote to the dude I thought was better. There.Your vote still isn't going to count. Being a smart-ass about it doesn't change anything.FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »cool whatever duke...you still lost without my vote.FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »I got PM'd and guilt tripped to come in here and vote for this wack "battle" anyway.FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »Raw was better in all that^^^^....I already said this. FOH if you don't like my vote. This is why this forum is dead. Dude got an opinion for a reason don't question my opinion when you ask for it.
I'm repeating myself. Sorry if I wasn't specific enough as you wanted me to be.
DON"T SEND ME PM"S TO PARTICIPATE IF YOU DON"T LIKE MY POSTING STYLE. -
Wow lol. Look, it's all good. Whatever you decide L24 is cool with me. I noticed no one was voting so I tried to speed things up a bit. I went to the main page and peeped everyone that was currently online and brought up another window and wrote a message saying something like "yo, check out my battle with Legend24, voting is hella slow! I'm trying to increase the activity in a dying forum. Here's the link [link]." To be honest, I can't remember what I wrote exactly bc I didn't save it in my sent folder but if FieldTripsToTheHood would be kind enough to paste my message in this thread so that you can see I wasn't getting him to vote for me or guilt him into doing so, that'll be cool. I think he means he felt obligated to vote bc I wrote a passionate PM bc I'm trying to get this battling thing popping just as you are! Honestly, I sent random messages to people IDK that had over 100 posts and yeah, a few votes came in, 2 for me and 1 for you but I was like "damn!" bc they were hardly explained like Young Ice did. It's a hard thing to do. You have to read, then explain your vote and it's time consuming and it sucks when someone takes the time to read but ends up voting in 1 sentence. So I appreciate everyone's vote, it's cool, but maybe next time we can work on the explanations.
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The PM in question. Unedited.raw-material_ahh wrote:Yo, what's up?
I see your on. Legend24 and I started a battle last week but only have 1 vote. We need more voters. If you know anything about lyricism, metaphors or battling in general, can you check it out and please vote? I'm trying to breath some life into a dead forum bc up until I've came, there's only been 1 battle in the last 9 months. That's a shame. If people notice other members besides me participating, things might get exciting again like they once were.
Check it out at: http://community.allhiphop.com/showthread.php?62630-Raw-Material-vs-Legend24
Thanks man. -
FieldTripsToTheHood wrote: »I'm repeating myself. Sorry if I wasn't specific enough as you wanted me to be.
DON"T SEND ME PM"S TO PARTICIPATE IF YOU DON"T LIKE MY POSTING STYLE.
Don't quote me as if I'm the one sending you ? ... I wouldn't make that mistake. I'm sure no one else will in the future either.raw-material_ahh wrote: »Wow lol. Look, it's all good. Whatever you decide L24 is cool with me. I noticed no one was voting so I tried to speed things up a bit. I went to the main page and peeped everyone that was currently online and brought up another window and wrote a message saying something like "yo, check out my battle with Legend24, voting is hella slow! I'm trying to increase the activity in a dying forum. Here's the link [link]." To be honest, I can't remember what I wrote exactly bc I didn't save it in my sent folder but if FieldTripsToTheHood would be kind enough to paste my message in this thread so that you can see I wasn't getting him to vote for me or guilt him into doing so, that'll be cool. I think he means he felt obligated to vote bc I wrote a passionate PM bc I'm trying to get this battling thing popping just as you are! Honestly, I sent random messages to people IDK that had over 100 posts and yeah, a few votes came in, 2 for me and 1 for you but I was like "damn!" bc they were hardly explained like Young Ice did. It's a hard thing to do. You have to read, then explain your vote and it's time consuming and it sucks when someone takes the time to read but ends up voting in 1 sentence. So I appreciate everyone's vote, it's cool, but maybe next time we can work on the explanations.
Never accused you of trying to cop votes... I don't care who votes; as long as people drop an explanation, it's all good with me. -
I'ma drop this now cause my schedule for today will be a bit random and I may miss the deadline/forget if I don't. If you haven't finished yours yet, go for 16 bars so it will be even. Others around here seem to prefer that.
I dunno why this Raw wants war
His material sub-par like a blind hand's ?
Like a pair of undersized jeans, I'm leavin you ripped tonight
Feelin Superman pain when I leave you on that crypt-tonight
I love the use of the WWF reference, but it could have definitely been stronger. This opening was kinda weak compared to the kind of heat I expect from you. Especially the sub-par and blind man's ? line. Luckily the Superman and crypt-tonight/kryptonite line helped to make up for it. That line was ? nice
You unequipped to fight yet you calling for a battle bro
You get booed off stage like on that "America's Got Talent" show
I'm a butcher to your raw meat, a rapper with a Jason cleaver
You challenge me? ? , you might as well just be chasin ethers
The bolded was ? ill son. I mean really really ill son. The raw meat/butcher/Jason cleaver wordplay was nice but the "chasin' ethers" line is what really took this over the top. It was witty and funny, but it was also pretty clever in the way you set up the punchline. I nearly forgot how average the America's Got Talent line was....that's how hot the last two bars was. :tu
Why the ? you think they call me Legend?
I stay murdering this list of so called "IC Veterans"
Back down - you should seek weaker opponents
When you commented in my thread... that was your signature moment
This section was kinda "meh" to me, I know you could come harder than this b. You just did in your last 2 bars before this section. I think you're kinda emphasizing flow and neglecting the personals that have been money for you so far. It seems like you wrote this to an instrumental and that's sometimes a bad idea for these kinds of battles
You a notch on my belt, your shots ain't felt
? a punch, the ? I throw is a detriment to your health
Your rap game, fam, it's rather inferior
Another man's meat is the closest you get to raw materials
I see that the bolded is meant to be another play on words from your previous butcher and rapper with a Jason cleaver line, but you didn't really have a unique take on it this time. It was decent, but not as strong as I was hoping for. In a verse like this, that has a couple of stingers, but also has a few lines that don't hit as consistently as you hope for, it's always best to close out strong with your last four bars to make up for it but this closing wasn't as nasty as I was hoping it would be.
All in all, I'd say this was a solid verse for someone that's JUST getting into battling, and for you to do so well against someone as good as, and as experienced as Raw is proof in the pudding that with a few more battles under your belt you're gonna be a force. Nah mean?raw-material_ahh wrote: »You're already done cuz I'm "aiming dead on" like I grab the dart/
Lucky for you this is text cuz you couldn't "? a beat" if you stabbed my heart/~2
I'm dying of boredom here, saying the announcements is the only way you'll get played through speakers/
Cuz if you were Jordan, you couldn't have a "nice line" releasing new sneakers/
Holy ? this was hot. This opening was one of the most brutal and wittiest I've seen since 2006 man. That "? a beat" line I bolded was tuff as hell. Your wordplay was bananas in this section. Though the last two lines are dope too, there is a slight dropoff in the intensity and sense of urgency from the opening two lines, so if I can nitpick at all, I'd assume you were literally pulling your punches a little bit here, but it was still nice.
I've never heard of a Legend more lesser known than AllHipHop's newest member/
He's gassed up cuz I'm about to leave him in embers..what's his name? I don't remember/~6
I'm better than the last guy so when you wake up, you're having "worst Nightmares"/
This'll put you on tilt like Chingy and make you spitting wack like the words "Right Thurr"/~8
The bolded lines in this section were hot too, but not as sick as the previous section. The play on words in the "Nightmares" and Chingy lines were kinda sub-par to me. I mean, I know you're trying to get back into the swing of things, but you could've done better than that Chingy line. I mean really...
I swear I'm ahead of my time like 88 MPH in the future and i'll be right back/
And you're like Dr. Conrad Murray bc you "treat the mic (Mike) bad"/~10
So they wont let you close to a stage like a Miley Cyrus stalker/
I was baller in high school and he couldn't get a girl because he still likes his walker/~12
I'm noticing a pattern of a ridiculously epic opening pair of lines and but then a not-as-good pair of lines that follow. The Back to the Future reference was ? ' crazy and so was the Conrad Murray punchline 'cause your wording is what made those lines so great. It's easy to make a pop culture reference or two in a battle verse but you made it go so well together that if you didn't put "Mike" in parentheses, it would have went over a lot of people's heads. And in my opinion, that is the sign of a great verse
You couldn't "rule" anything if you became a judge and bought land/
Cuz this ham tried to come up but got "canned"/~14
You nothing like me spitting venom-and-rage, raps are old like denims-that-aged/
PM Tha Killa your resignation and send-him-your-page/~16
And this is the way you end a battle verse imo. You start it off by a clever line that still might go over some heads, and end it with some hot as hell multis and a rather etherous closing. I'm not really one for name drops, but that last line was dope as hell....and kinda brutal. Haha. It's good to see you ain't lost a step.
Punchlines: Raw (his were more consistent imo)
Multis: Tie (neither of you really had that many multies in this battle. I could give the slight edge to Raw for those last two bars, but I won't, since they weren't consistently used)
Flow: I'll give a slight edge to Legend since it appears his verse was written over an instrumental, but the way Raw's verse read was crazy
Personals: Raw
Wordplay: Raw (Though Legend had some nice wordplay in his verse)
Delivery: Raw (Legend's wasn't as consistent as Raw's imo. I do see an improvement from your last battle tho)
Impact: Raw
Structure: Tie
Both were solid verses but I have to give it to Raw. He pulled no punches in this battle and he got off to a hot start that never really ceased. Legend built up momentum but his punches weren't landing as consistently as Raw's. I'd love to see a Round 2 sometime in the future after this forum has had more traffic.
Sorry for the delay in voting though ya'll. -
Punchlines: Raw although both had hella punches Imma have to say raw was the busiest man in the ring with it also legend threw "power shots" they came sporadic alot of "jabbing" as if he was holding out a lil
Multis: neither one really used them but again Raw did just enough with his ending
Flow: my weak point in judging these is simply...its text and flow can't be read as much...because some people have a choppy flow that actually "flow" when heard ...this to me was a tie both was reader friendly imo
Personals:I gave this one to legend by a slight margin the Jason cleaver lines tied in with the raw material ending was the deciding factor....but raw lines was on point as well
Wordplay:Raw like I said about the punchlines was definitely the busier man in this category as well
Delivery:sounds redundant but with raw being so busy in the ring...even with legend delivering some key punches after setting it up with the "jab" ...raw kept delivering in bunches
Impact: Raw had more oohs in it than legend
Structure:both fight plans were well thought of Tie
Winner: Raw -
I think I'm up 3-1. Not sure. 2 more days to vote. Up!
Yo, if we get more traffic in here, we could increase voting like back in the day where in order to battle, you have to vote on 1 or 2 other battles and post the links of those votes in your battle thread to check in.
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