For Poetry Lovers...Be Elighten

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Lex!
Lex! Members Posts: 273
edited November 2010 in Waiting To Exhale
Lex! check my music out just some of my work reply back

here is my poem its called AYo ? !

Ayo ? ! wtf is going on
you walking out here with that soggy ass thong

Ayo ? ! dont say you want respect
with your breath smelling like hard ? and peppermints

Ayo ? ! i did want the sex
until i smelled mcdonalds do i scent fish fillet?

Ayo ? ! other ? be kissing you and licking you all over
they dont know i poured a bucket of ? on ya?

Ayo ? ! i know you know all the freaky positions...but this time.......let a ? stick the big toe in


*finger snaps*




good weed & Liquor
http://www.zshare.net/audio/8264347860a2afe9/


Limousine Lex!
http://www.zshare.net/audio/814200071bc0ebc2/

Comments

  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited November 2010
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    WTF! And your asking for feedback with that type of expression...lmao at fingers snapping.. ? .

    all jokes aside,

    I think you have some lines that stood out, but its hard to even say nice poetical verses when its about ? this, ? that.. We ain't tryna hear all that..

    Come with sumfin different and maybe I can give better feedback.. In the mean time chill on ayo ? , theirs other ways to express that.. But to each to its ow. I guess.. Its your voice and you have every right to practice that however you wish too.. But stuff like that infect the minds of a child, young people.. soon we gon have a generation full of em saying ayo ? , and all the profanity bs language I don't tolerate.


    But keep on expressing..just be selective with ur verbs next time.

    Peace!
  • Lex!
    Lex! Members Posts: 273
    edited November 2010
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    lmao it was just a joke and i was making it up as i go honestly i have more sense then a common day ?
    but thanks for the feedback and i do real poetry from the heart this is just what i call this a comedic haiku well not haiku but
    something like it
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited November 2010
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    Lex! wrote: »
    lmao it was just a joke and i was making it up as i go honestly i have more sense then a common day ?
    but thanks for the feedback and i do real poetry from the heart this is just what i call this a comedic haiku well not haiku but
    something like it

    lmao at haiku!
    I understand it was coming off as a joke, and its all good to joke.

    But you should drop a heartfelt poetry piece tho.. I'm always reading giving people feedback, matter of fact this my resident lol.. That last one was a joke.

    and ur welcome for the feedback, I hope to see you around this forum more often (poetry material wise) also u should go to the poets introduction in the thread "why do you write poetry?"

    Peace!