LE Tournament #1 ROUND ONE - sniperk versus Jaw Breaker

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raw-material_ahh
raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
edited January 2011 in Lyrical Executions
sniperk versus Jaw Breaker
  • Check in by Wednesday, January 19, 2011 11:59 pm Eastern time.
  • It's cool to drop your verses before the check in due date.
  • Verses are due by Sunday, January 23, 2011 11:59 pm Eastern time.
  • Voting will end on Saturday, January 29, 2011 11:59 pm Eastern time.
  • Verses: Mandatory 16 lines. Only one round. Voting can begin anytime after both verses are posted.
  • 3 votes to 0 is a knockout.
  • 5 votes first wins or the most votes by the end date.
  • 50 posts to vote unless you are participating in the tourney.
  • All votes MUST be explained well and no crew or hate votes.
  • Don't vote sway. No comments by either battler in the thread besides "uppin for votes" and/or the current score and no comments about votes or your opponents verse. Take criticism like a man. Everyone has their own opinion. Use the Predictions/? Talking Thread to voice your opinions, not this battle thread.

Comments

  • sniperk
    sniperk Members Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    Checking in.

    About to break some jaws...
  • The_Man
    The_Man Members Posts: 2,718 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    Checking in...you aint breakin ?
  • The_Man
    The_Man Members Posts: 2,718 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    this is the first round ding ding there goes the bell
    sniff sniff whats that smell? he ? his draws oh well
    im about to raise hell and show this fool im not playin
    have you screamin JESUS CHRIST dont waist your ? time preyin
    i eat mc's for breakfast supper and for lunch
    i eat them raw i dont cook them threw their bones i crunch
    so your name is sniperk and your about to break some jaws?
    you cant even break wind you aint breakin laws...PAUSE
    let me gather my thoughts..? it this battles in the bag give me a round of aplouse
    cos theres no way that you can win defeat will be your only outcome
    but dont worry about it boy you win some you lose some
    i see you in your display picture thats why this battle aint fair
    take your loss like a man dont backtrack like your receding hair....lol
    i dont play fair i'll pick you up and throw you into the air
    and when you land i'll be there ready to attack like a grizzly bare
    this guy is nothin but ? stuck inside my bowel..post your rhyme if u dare if not throw in the towel
  • sniperk
    sniperk Members Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    this is your first and last round due to my Punch-Out flow
    'bout to Mike Tyson pound you like your name was Glass Joe
    knock them bad British teeth straight while I BREAK ya JAWs
    you ? ? , why the ? you wanna smell my drawers? PAUSE...
    I'm half man, half thesaurus... I study diction
    you're half man, half ? ... you study ? , son
    how else can you explain that "stuck inside my bowels" reference?
    I guess ? inside your bowels is a personal preference?
    I'll have you die like Lady Di and Elton John write your theme
    I just crucified him like Jesus Christ, can ? Save This Queen?
    'cuz I'm the (Don) King, I own the crown, you can't beat Bald Bull you ? ' hater
    your pic logo thing, take it down, are you Darth Vader's masturbater?
    but all jokes aside, I can't let this ? slide... BREAK that JAW open wide
    take his heart, take his soul, take his life, take his pride
    Until they throw his dead body wrapped in a towel off the White Cliffs of Dover...
    Another victory for Sniper K and for you its... GAME OVER

    Mike_Tyson%27s_Punch-Out!!_-_NES_-_Game_Over.png
  • Aquaf!nafloe
    Aquaf!nafloe Confirm Email Posts: 5,362 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    i vote sniperk...
  • Aquaf!nafloe
    Aquaf!nafloe Confirm Email Posts: 5,362 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    *scratches head*


    where is thedesolateone, Old ? , and ImILL? Hopefully them ? in this tourney. One of em would win this here easily.



    "throw you into tha air/attack you like a grizzley bear"









    ?????????










    I'm votin for nobody


















    *changes sig*

    wtf was the point of u comin in here then if ur not going to vote....smh
  • Aquaf!nafloe
    Aquaf!nafloe Confirm Email Posts: 5,362 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    i was goin vote but itz a tie. lol, i thought i was goin see a battle.

    yea i can feel that but it is obviouse one person had a lil bit more better skills
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
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    I think JawBreaker had the right idea but didn't put a new twist on his lines. Most of them were things we've already heard numerous times like "i eat mc's for breakfast supper and for lunch" and saying someone ? his draws isn't quite enough in a battle for him to feel the embarrassment. The line will punch more if you tell us what he ? his draws like like tie a metaphor in there somewhere. Even though sniperk fed on a lot of his lines rather than writing a verse not based off of JawBreaker's, his lines had a little more creativity but there were some that didn't have any effect to me anyway.

    I like these lines:
    I'm half man, half thesaurus... I study diction
    you're half man, half ? ... you study ? , son
    I'll have you die like Lady Di and Elton John write your theme
    I just crucified him like Jesus Christ, can ? Save This Queen?

    I suggest not to feed of the other battler's verse if any of you move on because the creativity may not hold much weight. Just a suggestion.

    Rhyming was about the same on both sides. I'll give metaphors, wordplay and punches to sniperk. I think JawBreaker had the right ideas and was more creative BC he was all over the place and even though JawBreaker tried to squeeze an extra line in there at the end, I don't think anyone is going to complain if I let it slide.

    Vote - sniperk
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited January 2011
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    I'm gonna have to vote for Sniperk.. This was nearly a tie. But sniperk implemented some word play with metaphors.

    Jaw breaker, he came with it too, but like raw said, some lines are redundant as far as punch lines...
  • The_Man
    The_Man Members Posts: 2,718 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    Good ? sniperk you got me, i need to practice thank you all for feedback.
  • sniperk
    sniperk Members Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    Good ? sniperk you got me, i need to practice thank you all for feedback.

    Nice battle Jaw Breaker.

    From the comments, it looks like I gotta step up my writing game up as well.

    I was just playing around with my lyrics but it looks like I have to spend a bit more time on my bars if I want to make it past the next round.

    Thanks people for the victory and I'll try to come with something more impressive next time.

    Peace.
  • C.Melendez
    C.Melendez Members Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    since voting is over congrats to sniperk on his win
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
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    Young-Ice wrote: »
    why are you allowing feeding?

    Since feeding is a common practice in battling inside and outside of text battling and for some reason, it SLIPPED from my head when I was creating the rules, I decided dammit, I'll let it go. It's too late to go into each thread and change the rules. I'm already having to deal with the 3-4 people who haven't checked in already and I have people who are inquiring about the next tournament or want to sign up now so I'm trying to get in contact with who hasn't signed in yet and see if they are going to check in or not, if not, I got replacements. Most likely, no feeding will be a rule in the 2nd round and so on to the championship battle.

    Anyway, congrats on moving on sniperk! Let's see what you have in the second round. Be patient. It will begin shortly after round one concludes.
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    how did sniperk win?i only counted two perhaps official votes
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
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    how did sniperk win?i only counted two perhaps official votes

    You're right. Aquaf!nafloe didn't really explain her vote. sniperk is up 2-0. First to 5 votes wins or there is a 3-0 KO. Up!
  • Aquaf!nafloe
    Aquaf!nafloe Confirm Email Posts: 5,362 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    the reason why i think that sniperk won is becucuase the first dude had some corny ass punchlines that half the time didnt even make any sense...i dont like rappers that come off like sniperk either however he came off as if he actually knows how to "spit" and his rhymes made actual sense....is that good enough?
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
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    I enjoy both verses both came strong but my vote goes to: sniperk
  • Old Fart
    Old Fart Members Posts: 1,574 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    i just erased my critique and vote. I don't read votes before I cast mine so i didn't even realize this round was already over. Don't make sense for me to pick this apart since a winner has already been declared...and I agree with the pick.
  • Old Fart
    Old Fart Members Posts: 1,574 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
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    *scratches head*


    where is thedesolateone, Old ? , and ImILL? Hopefully them ? in this tourney. One of em would win this here easily.



    "throw you into tha air/attack you like a grizzley bear"









    ?????????










    I'm votin for nobody



















    *changes sig*
    what up dog. naw I'm sitting this one out and just voting. that last battled dragged on for longer than I expected and this format seems like it'll be the same. So imma chill and see who comes out on top. Then I'll be ready to battle the winner or whoever else wanna get it after winning a comp. Good look on the props tho
This discussion has been closed.