the thoughts of a fiend

It wassnt supposta be like this.. I was supposta be 1 time.. But now I see this is ultimately gonna be why I die from snortin 2 needles I've done it all.. But I'm jus lookin 4 that "1st" high that is all.. I've lost my family n friends ova this ? .. But they jus don't understand the power of that "hit".. It takes yo mind 2 wonderful places but when u come down u start 2 realize how ? up yo life is so u keep chasing.. You chase 4 hit after hit.. U lie cheat n steal 4 it.. Don't care who u hurt cuz u kno the pain u feel is worse.. The feelin of bein lonly n not loved.. That's why I started with these drugs.. People say if I put my mind 2 it I can change if I want it deep down n my heart... But getting clean is easy.. Staying clean is the hard part... Yea ima clean my act up 1 day.. But " all he is, is a fiend" is all they say.. And u kno what they rite!! All I am is a ? ass fiend 2 the day I die... But I bet when I do..... I will be high!!!