Racing Thoughts

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trph14
trph14 Members Posts: 1
edited June 2011 in Waiting To Exhale
His mannerisms give meaning to unspoken words. Unheard, he’s perched no flight. The lone broken bird. Big but yellow, the kids truly love the fellow. Mind of a rebel. A misguided misfit, no tailored dreams. His soul thirsts for popularity. The conscience mind that buries thee refuses to let him be seen as something majestic… son of royalty. Blessed without a sneeze. Conversation with the most high as a man, not on his knees

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  • RuffDraft
    RuffDraft Members, Writer Posts: 4,753 ✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
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    Nice!! Enjoyed this piece, but think it would be structured as a more regular poem with new lines being started.

    I really like the imagery and the 'phor though as well as how you end the poem with a man standing at the most highest plane, rather than on his knees.

    Thanks for sharing.