Sistas, Give me your thoughts on what is being said in this video by one of your own.

PILL_COSBY
PILL_COSBY Members Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭✭✭
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Comments

  • deadeye
    deadeye Members Posts: 22,884 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'd like to hear another female perspective on this video as well.



    @mzgrahambitches
  • deadeye
    deadeye Members Posts: 22,884 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • Copper
    Copper Members Posts: 49,532 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Uh oh....real ? alert

    American Women ain't tryna hear about personal responsibility though
  • Bookworm
    Bookworm Members Posts: 1,080 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2013
    That's true. There is a gripe I have with a lot of women I know. Men date around, they know what they like, they know what they don't like. They have no problem recognizing a specific type of woman and treating her accordingly. If a man meets a jumpoff he treats her like a jump off. I think most times women know what type of man they are dealing with and its like we get tunnel vision on this one man and get hellbent on trying to make him the type of man they want, instead of going out and finding the type of man they want. I do know a lot of bitter women who claim all men are no good but take no responsibility for their own part in the drama. This isn't all women but a lot of women.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 6,385 ✭✭
    edited May 2013
    You are what you attract. Like attracts like.

    What you put out into the universe is what you will receive.

    The issue here is not only that some women are so used to the "bad" seeds that they expect nothing more, but they secretly fear finding that brother who will in fact treat them like a Queen as drama and pain is all that they know and they don't see how much more they are worthy of if they were to become that exact force they wish to receive. Some don't even have a clue as to what love really is, they mistake jealousy and possessive character traits for love and go on to claim that it only shows that they care. In fact, many physically abused women have been conditioned to believe the same.

    What my sisters will often do is settle. Many are so afraid to be alone that they will take that "project" of a brother and accept traits that are in no way desirable and they set off to try and change a man. And there lies a deeply embedded issue. What women must understand is that you simply cannot change a man, nor should you even want to or entertain the thought.

    Now there is a difference between being that kind of positive sister which a brother surrenders to in the sense that you bring out the best in him and your greatness assists him in realizing who he is and who he is meant to be as it cannot be denied that a good woman can in fact cause some men to want to change. That's the major difference, the placement of motives. He is the one who wants to change as he wants to be a better man for you and for himself and this may be as simple as no longer being out there going from woman to woman.

    I just read what this brother himself stated yesterday.....and I agree for the most part however don't focus on the last line as that can be debated in today's society....

    6DB01016-EE83-4C3A-9293-2EF699C6363F-564-0000003CA22918C9_zps5f908f16.jpg

    This is what many females who are with good for nothing men do not understand. You don't seek a less desirable candidate and try to mold him to your liking, you demand respect and invite the man who is right for you from the very jump into your world. You engage someone who is already "fully equipped and assembled" (which in no way means he is flawless or meets some females unrealistic standards) as opposed to downgrading from your wants and needs.

    Wise one once said that when selecting a mate ask yourself, if you had a son, would you want him to be that man? If the answer is no, stop making excuses, as so many of us will try and justify a brother's shortcomings.

    You want a good brother? Be a good sister and know your worth. Project exactly what you wish to be reciprocated, not because you're out there searching for someone to fill something within that you yourself can only do, but rather because it is who you want to be are. So it for no other person but yourself.

    Another point sister made was carrying forth past resentment and holding one man's actions against an entire people.

    Our choices are a reflection of who and where we are today. Yesterday's experience is in no way an indication of what the future holds, we create our own reality. There are amazing men out there, we just have to want to be open to what they have to offer and give back just the same.

    ? is to want, where as love is to give. Don't expect love when all you want is to take. And most importantly, know and love yourself before you even begin to attempt to love and give yourself to another.

    Ps. As she mentioned, this is not a matter of placing blame or taking a way from a man being held responsible for his actions, this is simply a positive message to take accountability for self. The only thing we can control is our own actions.
  • LUClEN
    LUClEN Members Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2013
    Opposites attract though
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 6,385 ✭✭
    RodrigueZz wrote: »
    Opposites attract though..

    It definitely can however I for one wasn't speaking about personal likes and interests, even opposites wish to have certain areas/beliefs/morals in common with their s/o.

    I was more referring to your energy/attitude which you exude and put out there and how you carry yourself.

    If you have a negative outlook on life and men, don't expect to receive positivity when all you do is complain, remain bitter and surround yourself with a negative circle of people.

    You are the company you keep and that isn't to be taken so literally as it may have been perceived ie. identical hobbies, character traits etc.
  • B.BeST
    B.BeST Members Posts: 379 ✭✭✭✭
    nobody is perfect and anything is possible....

    just love who u are with, damn when did simply loving a human being require all of this conditioning, thought, and experience.....

    ? just love the muthufucka u in bed with, roll over and get some damn sleep.
  • goldenja
    goldenja Members Posts: 6,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2013
    I love my sistas. Especially the ones that know their worth.

    Sometimes you gotta go thru some messed up situations to know what you're worth.

    some make it, some don't.

    the ones that do make.. that's the sista I want in my life.

    A lover, a best friend.. the best team
  • Westie
    Westie Members Posts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I don't disagree with what she said. However, that can be said across the board. It's not in human nature to reflect on your own mistakes, black men and white/other people don't get a pass for putting their dumb decisions on other people. We all do it. If you don't look within yourself after a pattern of bad ? happening you deserve what you get. Nothing new has been said. These black women shaming videos are old to me.

    And I don't ? with Tyler perry movies, never have nor will see for colored girls.
  • Westie
    Westie Members Posts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Empress_ wrote: »

    6DB01016-EE83-4C3A-9293-2EF699C6363F-564-0000003CA22918C9_zps5f908f16.jpg
    @empress_

    Your post was on point. However, I.can't with tyrese's misspelled words of wisdom.

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 6,385 ✭✭
    @mrswest

    Almost didn't post it, just wanted an example coming from a brother and I did say ignore the last line! Lol.

  • deadeye
    deadeye Members Posts: 22,884 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2013
    MrsWest wrote: »
    I don't disagree with what she said. However, that can be said across the board. It's not in human nature to reflect on your own mistakes, black men and white/other people don't get a pass for putting their dumb decisions on other people. We all do it. If you don't look within yourself after a pattern of bad ? happening you deserve what you get. Nothing new has been said. These black women shaming videos are old to me.

    And I don't ? with Tyler perry movies, never have nor will see for colored girls.

    @MrsWest and @Empress_


    She made some excellent points, but do you two think she came across as condescending?

    Does it offend you that she's criticizing single mothers and their decisions....yet, even though she's a single mother herself, she kinda comes across as if she's better than the women she's talking about.

  • Westie
    Westie Members Posts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    deadeye wrote: »
    MrsWest wrote: »
    I don't disagree with what she said. However, that can be said across the board. It's not in human nature to reflect on your own mistakes, black men and white/other people don't get a pass for putting their dumb decisions on other people. We all do it. If you don't look within yourself after a pattern of bad ? happening you deserve what you get. Nothing new has been said. These black women shaming videos are old to me.

    And I don't ? with Tyler perry movies, never have nor will see for colored girls.

    @MrsWest and @Empress_


    She made some excellent points, but do you two think she came across as condescending?

    Does it offend you that she's criticizing single mothers and their decisions....yet, even though she's a single mother herself, she kinda comes across as if she's better than the women she's talking about.
    She is condescending I'm not offended though. She's never had a bad relationship, ok. I just find it laughable because talks as if she's never made a mistake. Somebody doesn't seem to reflect much I guess.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 6,385 ✭✭
    edited May 2013
    deadeye wrote: »
    MrsWest wrote: »
    I don't disagree with what she said. However, that can be said across the board. It's not in human nature to reflect on your own mistakes, black men and white/other people don't get a pass for putting their dumb decisions on other people. We all do it. If you don't look within yourself after a pattern of bad ? happening you deserve what you get. Nothing new has been said. These black women shaming videos are old to me.

    And I don't ? with Tyler perry movies, never have nor will see for colored girls.

    @MrsWest and @Empress_


    She made some excellent points, but do you two think she came across as condescending?

    Does it offend you that she's criticizing single mothers and their decisions....yet, even though she's a single mother herself, she kinda comes across as if she's better than the women she's talking about.

    @deadeye

    She certainly does come off condescending. She is not conveying her message effectively, she is acting as if though her position as a single mother is better than all other single mothers, she is the exception to the rule.

    She's speaking as if though her choices in life have been flawless and she has never encountered trial and error. No one and no situation is perfect. However, I am not at all offended. What she says and how she comes off is in no way a reflection of myself or all single mothers/women.
  • taeboo
    taeboo Members Posts: 4,669 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Why keep bringing up bitter ? when none post on this board?
  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    I think part of it is some women feeling like if they meet a man whose already established w/o them it means that they can't bring much of anything to his life. On the contrary if they "mold" him into the man they want they feel like they had some hand in his accomplishments there after so that man may not be as quick to leave because she in a sense helped him get to where he is. It's really just an insecurity on the woman's part about her own self worth and what she brings to the table in a relationship.
  • PILL_COSBY
    PILL_COSBY Members Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Bookworm wrote: »
    That's true. There is a gripe I have with a lot of women I know. Men date around, they know what they like, they know what they don't like. They have no problem recognizing a specific type of woman and treating her accordingly. If a man meets a jumpoff he treats her like a jump off. I think most times women know what type of man they are dealing with and its like we get tunnel vision on this one man and get hellbent on trying to make him the type of man they want, instead of going out and finding the type of man they want. I do know a lot of bitter women who claim all men are no good but take no responsibility for their own part in the drama. This isn't all women but a lot of women.
    ? DAYUMN!!!!! powerful post!!!!

    @miss jihad

    what do you think about this post? I want to hear your thoughts.

    Empress_ wrote: »

    when selecting a mate ask yourself, if you had a son, would you want him to be that man? If the answer is no, stop making excuses, as so many of us will try and justify a brother's shortcomings.
    DEEP........................VERY DEEP.
  • sweetheart93
    sweetheart93 Members Posts: 2,287 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I see this video all the time. I usually just skip past it because the title makes me cringe.
  • PILL_COSBY
    PILL_COSBY Members Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2013
    I see this video all the time. I usually just skip past it because the title makes me cringe.
    What about the title makes you cringe?
  • sweetheart93
    sweetheart93 Members Posts: 2,287 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2013
    What about the title makes you cringe?

    I dunno maybe it's the way it's worded.
  • NothingButTheTruth
    NothingButTheTruth Members Posts: 10,850 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I didn't realize black men had trouble finding good black women and vice versa.
  • xxCivicxx
    xxCivicxx Members Posts: 6,927 ✭✭✭✭✭
    She was spitting straight logic throughout that entire vid
  • LUClEN
    LUClEN Members Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Lil Loca wrote: »
    Um...hasn't there already been a thread about this before?

    Last year someone already posted this, but in GnS.

    These repeat threads need to stop.:))

    A feminist complaining about repetition?

    Now i've seen everything
  • JDSTAYWITIT
    JDSTAYWITIT Members Posts: 12,910 ✭✭✭✭✭
    RodrigueZz wrote: »
    Opposites attract though



    That's too simplified ...as attraction in itself does not = longevity (in the context of a relationship) ...eventually one party will assimilate within the others veiwpoints as they pertain to the essentials of a healthy functioning companionship ...



    Interesting vid from this young lady ....