I give no f_cks Volume 18: Stork suspected of being a SPY detained by police in Egypt

Suspected Egyptian Spy Stork Freed, Then Promptly Killed and Eaten

By: Max Rivlin-Nadler

There is no justice in Egypt these days.

A stork that was captured and jailed under suspicion of being a spy, was finally released a few days ago, only to be killed and eaten upon its release.

The stork, which had been given the name Menes by conservationists, was arrested last week after a fisherman believed a tracking device on its back was some sort of spying mechanism. The device, which had been attached to the stork before it migrated out of France, stopped working the second the stork had crossed the French border, eliminating any possibility that Menes was spying on the troubled nation.

But that didn't save Menes from the gallows. Shortly after being released, the stork flew to an island in the Nile where it was captured and then eaten.

The Nature Conservation of Egypt wrote on its Facebook, "Storks have been part of the Nubian diet for thousands of years, so the actual act of eating storks is not in itself a unique practice. However, the short-lived success story of getting Menes released was not enough to keep him safe till he exited Egypt."

Menes was the victim of both the paranoid state of the Egyptian psyche, and a craving for some large bird.

"We truly are saddened by the tragic end to Menes' journey," the Nature Conservation wrote. "But once again, we would like to thank the park rangers of Aswan for their excellent initial efforts to get Menes the White Stork released safely into a protected area."