Rich Daddy Presents: The Stupidity Of WWE, Vol.1

Mr. Rich Pryor
Mr. Rich Pryor Members Posts: 1,233 ✭✭✭✭✭
Bragging Rights 2010

In the main event, Barrett faced Orton for the WWE Championship. The stipulations were as follows; Cena was in Barrett's corner and if Wade Barrett lost John Cena would be fired. Cena outsmarted Barrett by having Orton retain via DQ.
TLC: Tables Ladders and Chairs 2010

Cena literally took out every single member of Nexus in the run up to the main event. The finish to Cena vs. Barrett was Cena literally burying Barrett under a pile of chairs (but not before covering him with a table for some ? reason).

Angle Conclusion: Take seven rookies and get them huge heat. Then have Cena go over every single one of them. Cena is now over...again. CENAWINSLOL!!!!!
WWE NXT Season Three

The very first match of the season featured the most epic botched finish ever, in which nobody knew what the hell was going on. Here it is in all its glory
Cole fell asleep several times during the season. After waking up one time, Josh revealed he'd received a text from Cole's wife saying that she knew what it was like to "fall asleep during the action"
There was an entire episode with no wrestling whatsoever! Someone must've been real proud of that one.
Michael Cole buried the entire show
Wrestlemania 27: The Lamest Wrestlemania under the sun?

The first official match for the PPV audience was for the World Heavyweight Championship. Yep, Alberto Del Rio won the Royal Rumble to curtain ? Wrestlemania. Oh, and that was be Edge's last match too. Good Job WWE.

The Corre then jobbed to Big Show's KO Punch in 90 seconds.

Drew Carey got booed out of the Georgia Dome during the Hall of Fame segment.

After this we saw what many thought would be the conclusion to one of the most disliked angles of 2011: Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler. Instead we saw Michael Cole actually on offense against Jerry Lawler for the bulk of the match. Eventually Lawler would recover and would make Cole tap to the ankle lock. But the shenanigans don't end there. The Anonymous GM reversed the decision and declared Michael Cole the winner. Lawler then blamed Josh Mathews for the decision, for some reason, and Austin stunned him. Austin stunned Booker too during all this. This was WWE's way of having JR and Lawler commentate the rest of the show. It's worth mentioning that prior to this Lawler and Cole were commentating together and would bicker their way through the matches up until this point.

Oh yea, Snooki had a match at this Mania. And she pinned former Women's Champion Michelle McCool.
The Summer of Punk II: Nash ruins everything

The big summer angle of 2011 was CM Punk beating John Cena, winning the WWE title at Money in the Bank and leaving the WWE with it.
With no WWE Champion, a tournament was held to crown a new champion. John Cena, the former Champion, was not included because he was going to be fired by Vince McMahon for allowing Punk to leave with the title. Before Vince was able to fire Cena, Triple H showed up, revealed that he had been put in power by the Board of Directors, and eventually got around to firing Vince. The tournament final would be bumped to the following week just for that segment. With all the time Triple H took getting to his point, they could've had the match anyway.
Rey Mysterio beat The Miz in the finals to win his first WWE Championship and third world title, a huge moment in his career.

John Cena challenged Rey to a title match that same night. Somehow, the fresh John Cena managed to overcome the odds and defeat the exhausted underdog Rey. Cena was then the recognized WWE Champion.

Immediately afterward, Punk returned to declare himself the true WWE Champion and challenged Cena to a unification match. Bear in mind Punk had been gone less than two weeks, and the belt Cena held effectively had no credibility when compared to the one Punk had.

Punk beat Cena again at Summerslam and was the undisputed WWE Champion. However, after the match, Kevin Nash jumped the rail and powerbombed Punk. Del Rio then cashed in his Money In The Bank briefcase and became WWE Champion.

Nash explained his actions the next night, saying that someone texted him to stick the winner of the main event. With Stephanie McMahon hanging around backstage, Hunter acting suspicious and being friends with Nash, Vince being fired because of Punk, and Del Rio cashing in, there were a whole host of possible suspects. To add to the list was John Laurinaitis, who began a suspicious habit of texting at the end of segments. In the end WWE ? up any possible decent storyline by having Nash text himself. The WWE explanation was that Nash texted himself using Triple H's phone when Hunter wasn't looking to justify his actions to himself, and to stand up for his buddy Triple H, who Punk had disrespected, but only after he lost the title. Therefore Nash's motivation remained a mystery.

After this angle was done with, Laurinaitis continued to text no one.

Anyway, the match clearly in the build is Nash vs Punk. However, the match never took places because Nash failed a medical examination, bringing up the question Why then was Nash introduced in the first place if he wasn't fit to wrestle???

The only other way WWE could take it was a Triple H vs Punk match. Bear in mind that the entire reason Nash was brought in was supposedly Creative felt Punk needed to go over a big name to establish himself. At Night of Champions, Triple H went over Punk in a street fight. Punk NEVER got the win back. While Punk and Nash were trading words, Cena went over ADR for the strap. LOLCENAWINS!!!!!

The Grand result of the Summer of Punk II? At a time when everyone though Punk would be the new Austin, Punk lost the belt, got involved in a moronic programme with Nash and then Triple H went over him, end of story.

Comments

  • Mr. Rich Pryor
    Mr. Rich Pryor Members Posts: 1,233 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The Rise and Fall of Zack Ryder

    Zack Ryder started a YouTube series, "Z! True Long Island Story", in which he and his friends appeared in mainly comedy skits. He turned himself face with the show and became VERY over with fans despite being a jobber. He quickly became a top merchandise seller, with wigs, t-shirts, headbands and more. To give you an example of how well the show and Ryder caught on with the fans, during one Rock/Cena confrontation segment, the fans ignored two megastars for a moment to chant "WE WANT RYDER".

    Ryder gradually started getting more TV time, from backstage cameos to being paired up with John Cena. He also got a spot on Smackdown as the assistant general manager. His push was stronger than ever when he won the United States championship.

    Things only got worse from here though. From this point on he was used as fodder in a filler John Cena vs. Kane feud during the wait for WrestleMania. He was also attacked by Kane every single week.

    He lost his job as assistant general manager and lost the United States title to Jack Swagger a few weeks after winning it. Swagger proceeded to never appear on Raw until he lost it to Santino Marella, who rarely ever defended it.

    Meanwhile, Z! True Long Island Story moved to the WWE channel. Why? Because WWE signed a contract with Youtube to produce 4 shows, 50 episodes each. The sucess of Z! True Long Island story was the main reason for this success. However Zack Ryder was given no storylines and seldom appeared on Raw, never with John Cena. WWE constantly removed and rejected content from True Long Island Story, leaving Zack Ryder to complain about his show having run it's course on Twitter.

    In a weird turn, it seemed to be kayfabe that Zack Ryder was the best at battle royals as he won two in a short space of time. The first was to become smackdown general manager for the night, in which he barely did anything (he didn't even book himself) and the second to have a shot at Antonio Cesaro's United States title, in which he was unsuccessful

    During most of 2012, Zack took to Twitter to constantly moan and whinge about not being on TV. While having a genuine complaint, he became intensely irritating with this whining and became his own worst enemy.

    Z! True Long Island story finished with its hundredth episode. It was also heavily speculated that Zack Ryder would be released due to post election spring cleaning, which doesn't happen.

    Nowadays, Ryder is right back where he started. He was last seen teaming with other Jobbers To The Stars Santino Marella and R-Truth against the Three Man Band.

    A new episode of Z! True Long Island Story was uploaded, in which Ryder walked out midway through. He stopped taking care and spiking his hair, as well, leading to speculation regarding a possible heel turn.

    ...Nothing came of it. Eventually he started a second YouTube series, "Last ReZort", which nobody cared about and which ended when WWE told him to knock it off.

    The moral of the story? Don't get yourself over without the WWE's help, or the machine will turn on you to keep everyone else dependant on it
    2011 in General

    Andy Leavine won the new season of Tough Enough, got heat for poorly selling the Stunner and got released less than a year later.

    RAW 2011: Starring Michael Tarver as Waldo. Michael Tarver began to re-emerge on RAW following the death of the Nexus, but never in front of the crowd. Instead Tarver began appearing during the backstage segments of other wrestlers, never speaking. Sometimes he'd just be hanging out, sometimes texting, sometimes watching a match. The biggest thing he would do was perhaps react if someone was laid out or dissed. The angle never went anywhere and Tarver was pulled off TV again, this time for good.

    Christian won his very first World Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules, celebrating the win with Edge, who had recently retired. Returning backstage, Christian was said to have hugged Vince McMahon and thanked him for the opportunity. He lost the title to Randy Orton the Smackdown after the PPV (which was not well-received by the Internet at all) and had all his momentum killed off by a lackluster heel turn in which he constantly demanded one more match before being injured once again.

    WWEShop briefly sold a shirt that appeared as if Sin Cara had an ? ? , once again failing to notice it until the Internet had thoroughly mocked them for it. Despite attempts to curtail orders for it once they noticed, a few of the shirts made it into circulation and onto eBay.

    some major fukkery yall!
  • Peezy_Jenkins
    Peezy_Jenkins Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 33,205 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jeebus, how could "creative" writers be so dumb
  • 5th Letter
    5th Letter Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 37,068 Regulator
    That Nexus angle had a lot of potential but because they were afraid of making John Cena look vulnerable in any way it went nowhere.