For a Hip-Hop head does my bars suck?
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If you all see post like this, flag that ? or @ one of us mods please. Thanks homies -
to anyone who honestly thinks "keystyling" is a logical way to get your talent recognized, please retire from rap
if you cant google, download free applications to record with, and then upload that audio to youtube or some other streaming site. you have no reason to pursue rap as an art or a business -
"My raps are never diabolical
But certainly phenominal'a
mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles
Knowledge is astronomical
Better cop ma module
Genre war movie historical not a comical."
I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC
Make your lines more even, not a bad attempt at rhyming.
Every line needs to be it's own statement and must convey an idea. -
those lyrics are tight, but like many of said their not saying much, now if you can flow that well and got a smooth voice then theres no reason those bars cant make for an incredible track, but those bars is only a fraction of the picture, keep chasing this pursuit though my man!!
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"My raps are never diabolical
But certainly phenominal'a
mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles
Knowledge is astronomical
Better cop ma module
Genre war movie historical not a comical."
I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC
Nice vocabulary, but as earlier posters mentioned, you aren't saying anything. It's directionless and has no point other than a bunch of multi-syllabic words forced together. You should write something with a goal in mind rather than just rhyming words for the sake of rhymin words. That's called forcing it fam. Just my two pennies on the matter. -
Here's something
“Where did it all go wrong”
Its tough when you’re on top, then you start your drop
Imperfections, ? spots, big cracks in the rock, find out
You’re no longer the man on the block
Cold slap in the face, don’t look so shocked
We had it all, we had it cod locked
Look at us now, what the hell’s going on
Somebody please tell me where the ? ’d we go wrong
Behaviors contagious, no matter how outrageous
Like hating with rage, making slaves for your trade
Putting weed smokers in cages, ? rich getting ageless
Aint there anyone out there to gauge this
Aint there anyone there that can step up to the plate
And save us
? I can’t tell you how bad that I hate this
Someone please tell me what the ? ’s going on
Someone please tell me where the ? ’d we go wrong
Chorus
Don’t make any sense
We had it good for so long
Somebody please tell me what’s going on
Faith in a Nation that once was strong
Somebody please tell me where it all went wrong
Just a few years back, seemed we were on track
Eastern Europe had began to ? , then just like that
The Berlin wall came crashing down
Commies seemed to be coming around
Peace it seemed was the new kid in town
Well we can’t have that, a small scale attack
Then just like that, we’re back on track
? that peace, we’ll find a new home in the Middle East
New place for fun for the ? guns and the bombs
Find a new place for our troops to call home
Where homesick boys can write home to their Moms
Won’t matter to much if they lose their legs and their arms
Plenty more where they come from back home on the farm
Can anyone please tell me what’s going on
Somebody please, where the ? ’d we go wrong
Greed has its needs and it feeds and it feeds
Fulfills its hunger off of you and off me
Give me ? amnesty from this ?
Beast or I swear by ? you’ll see someone bleed
We’ve had it, who planted this ? seed
Somebody tell me what the hell’s going on
Somebody tell me where the ? we went wrong
Chorus
Seems this ? just gets worse and worse and worse
Drive this whole administration to work in a hearse
They grab your ? and they ? and they ?
Circle of ? jerks gone berserk
Sit behind their desks and they lurk and they lurk
Want your ? pants your shoes and your shirt
Want you to lose what they know you deserve
Want you to choose what you know they don’t deserve
Would someone tell me what the hell’s going on
Can somebody tell me where the ? we went wrong
You don’t pass goal, you ? go to jail
Unless your part of this big business cartel
Can’t borrow from a friend cause he’s just like you
Government won’t take a ? IOU
It’ Hooray for me and ? you too
? should have went to business school
Today’s for me and tomorrow is too
Guess I’ll just wish you the best of luck fool
Lucks all you get and you’ll need it too
Cause it’s my job to ? you and ? you, ? you
? you and ? you, ? you and ? you
? you
RapRite 2012
ima take yo chit . thanks nkka -
I like to hear lyrics on beats to really get the feel of what your saying and its better for you to spit it cuz we can read your work but won't say it how you wrote it so might not be as tight as its suppose to be
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"My raps are never diabolical
But certainly phenominal'a
mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles
Knowledge is astronomical
Better cop ma module
Genre war movie historical not a comical."
I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC
I thought it was nice. -
I know a guy who could write some serious bars, but just couldn't spit it right when it's time to deliver.
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All you gotta do is find your flow over a beat, how you want to attack it, then write and mouth it to the beat. If it doesn't flow, it isn't gonna sound good. Some of this could flow if you just tinkered with it a bit. Find your niche bruh.
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@alissowack I can do both. Check it.
Terrorist Threats Remix
Ba-babylon
Had em drawn
Burned to the ground
then its shadow spawned
never bite the flow, but, that ? was on
Seem ab-stract ideas gon’ free the pawns
Chris ? cut some snakes when he mowed the lawn
Turned around the same snakes told him move along
blatant paradigms.. snakes won’t spare a life, or think twice ‘fore they take a bite
out to conjure convicts just so they constrict their vice
the number caught or shot dependent on the jailers price
and my advice? telling you its time to splice, rise and chap’ron lies to light
stand-up-and-fight _ you gonna live on your knees or die on your feet,
times up for copping pleas, asking please _
all they ever do in return is scoff, cough, feed trough with ? green
sitting round with soul and smoke 30 G’s,
fell asleep, then I woke up in a crazy dream
mind still enlightened 'spite all the hazy trees
trying to find a reason for it all I see is leaves
Masked in a dense fog blowing with the breeze
they all start falling screaming SOMEONE HELP US PLEASE
while the evergreens laugh cause they flourishing
the blind leaves scream louder KOBY HELP US PLEASE
use your mind, spread your message, you can set us free!
I spit some bars, breathed life, and then I decreed
The time was now, ? give this forest peace
The fog cleared up, all the pain and strife was ceased
Old leaves fell slaves but new leaves grew free
Spoken word after verses
See it was all symbolic of the people we be
trees victims of the weather ever at its mercy
To their lives, the money, the dollars, the green, the king
ruling over their lives, making slaves out of all of our minds
The evergreen trees thrived the rest fight to survive
then Koby arrived, contrived bars on his inner Kendrick, soul and Jesus Christ
An everyday dog sparked a mindset that controlled the fog
No longer could the evergreens be playing ?
the ground had become equal, system without a flaw
every tree can prosper, white or brown, fat or skinny short or tall
see this is how ? sees us, don’t let the devil deceive ya
money nothing but paper,
lift enlightened up and see the dollar meet its maker
You welcome. Spread the word. iii
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Honestly its boring...say it in an interesting way that doesnt sound cat in the hat
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"My raps are never diabolical
But certainly phenominal'a
mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles
Knowledge is astronomical
Better cop ma module
Genre war movie historical not a comical."
I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC
No your lyrical intraduction is fine. It has substance and deep meaning. Some people may have not been smart enough to understand what you said, so they'll say thing's such as you can't rap or you said a allot of nothing. I assure you that was not the case. Good job. -
Something that I've learned from writing and rapping is that you can't always use whatever words you want all the time. For example you say, "Better cop ma module" which is gonna be really hard to spit especially if its got any speed to it. On the page it rhymes, but always make sure you test out the bars with your mouth first.
