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Can feminists and strong black women really have a successful heterosexual relationship?

2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threatwalking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited September 2014 in For The Grown & Sexy
http://edition.cnn.com/2014/09/25/living/lisa-ling-sugar-baby-essay/index.html

Long read warning.....

I recently read the above article from Lisa Lang a self proclaimed feminist.

Basically she never wanted a man to do shit for her. So she met a very wealthy guy. He was aggressive in pursuing her and showed her the world that he lives in. Even tho she has been around the world and was well traveled she didnt see it like he showed her. Cruises on a yacht one week and shopping in Rome the next type shit. She couldn't see anything wrong except she felt like a piece of property that he was trying to purchase and felt like he was a sugar daddy trying to make her a sugar baby rather than looking at it like the man wanted to wine and dine her and give her the world.

But she rather settle with a man who doesn't threaten her financial to create a family with.

She also thinks that you should keep your own career, identity and finances. career you should have. identity you should have but married you have to compromise a little. finances should be shared with you having your own spending money. everything else should go to the family and building for the future.

Anyway....can a feminist really have a healthy relationship? Mainly, it will always be a challenge to a man whos woman he can not do anything for.

can you take her to dinner for date night? no, because she wants to pay for herself.
can you buy her something nice? no, because she already bought it or wants to buy it herself.
can you make her feel safe? no, because she already bought a glock and has a license to carry.
can you buy her a house? no, because she most likely already has it or doesnt want you to be the one to purchase it.

i personally think its something wrong with this mindframe.

this is the same mindfame shown by these so called strong black independent women. naw sis you just an adult who can pay ya bills. it dont make you different.

i see no problem with a woman doing for herself and its encouraged most of the time instead of trying to marry money. but wanting a man to be weaker than you or to be to show him you dont need him to satisfy your ego is crazy.
why get married?

outside of this lisa woman, most chicks want to be taken care of and pick and choose when to be strong and independent or a feminist.

Mostly its when they want to be a bitch and have a reason and support. Am i wrong?

Feminist are nothing more than the female version of a beta male. needing to prove to the world you mean something and feeding their ego.

How can you have a successful relationship? either you are what you are and dont need anybody or you do, but then that goes against your principal..

So again, how can you have a successful relationship?
you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


powerman 5000BelovedAfeni  Colin$mackabi$hxxCivicxxBazz-B
«13456711

Replies

  • jonojono Right fist = power, left fist = unity Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well I don't know how Lisa Ling felt about that particular man but as far as I know she is married with a family now...so I guess your argument is moot.
    @SoulTrain4 *FMOT*

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  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jono wrote: »
    You know what?

    I'll ignore the example and instead talk in general...the answer is yes.

    I don't know what makes you believe that a feminist cannot have a successful heterosexual relationship but it's just like everything else: eventually you will meet someone who beat fits your personality and lifestyle.

    I guess you mean a misandrist...but once again y'all show that you don't know the difference so I guess this argument is once again not for me to engage in.

    no i mean feminist....a feminst would be married to a lesser man
    the misandrist hates men and would not be married or even be in a relationship with a man.
    jono wrote: »
    Well I don't know how Lisa Ling felt about that particular man but as far as I know she is married with a family now...so I guess your argument is moot.

    the argument is not moot because she couldnt handle a man that could do more than her so she settled for a man with less or equal. i guess you dont see that.

    who is to say a man with money doesnt love her more than the man with less?

    for her to say she felt like a sugarbaby was stupid. that was because she felt insecure that he was giving her what he thought most women want. instead of correcting him or insuring if he truly loved her or not, she took the most negative idea from what he was doing.

    what he treating her wrong?
    what he slapping the bitch up?
    was he disrespecting her?

    what was it other than he wined and dined her on a higher level?
    you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
    you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
    then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

    I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


    onetoughmiracledeadeyexxCivicxxPILL_COSBY
  • StrokenoffStrokenoff Self Love Is The Best Love In My FeelingsPosts: 3,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    she doesn't sound like a feminist. she sounds like a strong woman. crazy that, that's what is considered a feminist.
    tumblr_mrri7ddVLC1r1ph6to1_500.gif
  • whatevathehellwhatevathehell Posts: 4,015 ✭✭✭✭✭
    If she finds HER alpha yes I believe it's possible.
  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    she doesn't sound like a feminist. she sounds like a strong woman. crazy that, that's what is considered a feminist.

    please explain
    you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
    you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
    then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

    I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    If she finds HER alpha yes I believe it's possible.

    but even this alpha will need to cater to her ego....so she could have said the guy didnt treat her right or like she felt she should be treated....it wasnt about his money. she made it about his money.
    you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
    you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
    then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

    I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


  • StrokenoffStrokenoff Self Love Is The Best Love In My FeelingsPosts: 3,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pralims wrote: »
    she doesn't sound like a feminist. she sounds like a strong woman. crazy that, that's what is considered a feminist.

    please explain

    She didn't see anything wrong with his efforts to woo her. She felt like property trying to be bought. To me that's a sign of a strong person. That's someone who values themselves. A true feminist in my opinion, would've been trying to force that guy to feminist functions and trying to make him spend money on that cause. She seems like she accepts her role as someone who can be woo'd, just wants to keep her own identity intact. A feminist wouldn't even accept that role.
    tumblr_mrri7ddVLC1r1ph6to1_500.gif
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEYLEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pralims wrote: »
    Independance means that you can you dont need someonelse.

    No man
    No children

    You suffice to yourself.

    These so called independant women just feel ashamed to recognize that they were wrong all these past years once they fall in love. So they keep palying the indy card just to save face.
    but deep inside they are sad, they are not happy.


    but none of us need anyone really.

    we are all adults who can live and provide for ourselves.

    why does someone need to brag about it.
    a woman saying shes independent is like saying i can pee without dripping on the toilet seat.

    Oh yes we do need.

    All this self made, independant formulas arnt true as long you live into a SOCIETY.


    To go back to the topic, i was meaning that you cant be on both sides of the fences. These type of women DINT TRUST men at all. They are always suspicious, they interpret anything as an attempt to their freedom, intgrity.

    No a TRUE feminist and independant sista cannot have an happy couple.

    imo

    apocalyse-xmen-2016.jpg
    Ajackson17deadeye  Colin$mackabi$hxxCivicxx
  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pralims wrote: »
    she doesn't sound like a feminist. she sounds like a strong woman. crazy that, that's what is considered a feminist.

    please explain

    She didn't see anything wrong with his efforts to woo her. She felt like property trying to be bought. To me that's a sign of a strong person. That's someone who values themselves. A true feminist in my opinion, would've been trying to force that guy to feminist functions and trying to make him spend money on that cause. She seems like she accepts her role as someone who can be woo'd, just wants to keep her own identity intact. A feminist wouldn't even accept that role.

    but why would her identity be threatened?

    because he was trying to woo her?

    so dating someone can threaten your identity now?

    so guys without money can threaten or control a chick?

    it sounds more like she married a guy who knows his position or dude knows how to play the game she wants him to play.

    to have my identity threatened someone would need to want me to change who i am. she didnt say that in the article. she didnt indicate he wanted her to be something she wasn't. she made that distinction in her mind.

    if he didnt want her to change but she felt she would lose her identity so she had to bounce, sounds weak to me. can she not allow herself to change? or did she feel she was losing herself and loving that lifestyle and would need to act right?
    you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
    you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
    then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

    I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


    xxCivicxx
  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pralims wrote: »
    Independance means that you can you dont need someonelse.

    No man
    No children

    You suffice to yourself.

    These so called independant women just feel ashamed to recognize that they were wrong all these past years once they fall in love. So they keep palying the indy card just to save face.
    but deep inside they are sad, they are not happy.


    but none of us need anyone really.

    we are all adults who can live and provide for ourselves.

    why does someone need to brag about it.
    a woman saying shes independent is like saying i can pee without dripping on the toilet seat.

    Oh yes we do need.

    All this self made, independant formulas arnt true as long you live into a SOCIETY.


    To go back to the topic, i was meaning that you cant be on both sides of the fences. These type of women DINT TRUST men at all. They are always suspicious, they interpret anything as an attempt to their freedom, intgrity.

    No a TRUE feminist and independant sista cannot have an happy couple.


    imo

    i agree with the bolded.

    but we dont need anyone. what most people crave and choose is companionship. so we compromise or look for just that.

    but up to that point we strive for what and who we are. no need to brag about being an adult.
    you have the dude who is naturally thorough -Alpha
    you have the dude that wants to be thorough so he pretend to be Alpha -Beta
    then you have the nigga who wants to hang with the first two to be seen and grab any dropped crumbs.- Omega

    I am still struggling between blocks to get from the have nots to the have yachts and I won't be stopped.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HhTZZdVbjio


  • blackrainblackrain Posts: 27,261 Regulator
    A woman who thinks a man can't do anything for her doesn't make her a feminist. It just makes her a woman who has the mindset of a man not being able to do anything for her. That don't have shit to do with feminism...and this is coming from somebody who thinks a lot of feminist ideals spouted in the mainstream today are actually laughable.
      Colin$mackabi$h
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Can feminists have a good relationship? Yes. They just have to find their counterpart. There are other ways for a man to love a woman aside from protecting and "taking care" of her. Those are my 2 favorite things, but that's me.

    A misandrist on the other hand, yes, if she finds the right whipping boy.
    male-tears-2.jpg
    goldenjaMasterfultechblacktux
  • StrokenoffStrokenoff Self Love Is The Best Love In My FeelingsPosts: 3,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pralims wrote: »
    pralims wrote: »
    she doesn't sound like a feminist. she sounds like a strong woman. crazy that, that's what is considered a feminist.

    please explain

    She didn't see anything wrong with his efforts to woo her. She felt like property trying to be bought. To me that's a sign of a strong person. That's someone who values themselves. A true feminist in my opinion, would've been trying to force that guy to feminist functions and trying to make him spend money on that cause. She seems like she accepts her role as someone who can be woo'd, just wants to keep her own identity intact. A feminist wouldn't even accept that role.

    but why would her identity be threatened?

    because he was trying to woo her?

    so dating someone can threaten your identity now?

    so guys without money can threaten or control a chick?

    it sounds more like she married a guy who knows his position or dude knows how to play the game she wants him to play.

    to have my identity threatened someone would need to want me to change who i am. she didnt say that in the article. she didnt indicate he wanted her to be something she wasn't. she made that distinction in her mind.

    if he didnt want her to change but she felt she would lose her identity so she had to bounce, sounds weak to me. can she not allow herself to change? or did she feel she was losing herself and loving that lifestyle and would need to act right?

    It's about being with someone who is on he same level as you. Though she appreciates his efforts, they won't gain more than appreciation. Where with some woman who can be bought. Those same efforts on themselves, will by undo loyalty and live. They've been bought by things, not by his love for them outside of buying things and trips.You'd get a cat that she once she became old news, all she'd just be a nice car in the garage that he doesn't drive anymore. That's a mature way from her perspective to see it. She sees relationships from a position of strength and not weakness. The difference between want and need.
    tumblr_mrri7ddVLC1r1ph6to1_500.gif
  • StrokenoffStrokenoff Self Love Is The Best Love In My FeelingsPosts: 3,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    fucking auto correct on this phone
    tumblr_mrri7ddVLC1r1ph6to1_500.gif
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Westie wrote: »
    Can feminists have a good relationship? Yes. They just have to find their counterpart. There are other ways for a man to love a woman aside from protecting and "taking care" of her. Those are my 2 favorite things, but that's me.

    A misandrist on the other hand, yes, if she finds the right whipping boy.

    That definition of love is a Disney one.
    A couple means that we protect and taking care of EACH OTHER. It means that we can ease off the burden of life and progress by SUPPORTing each other.
    And its not about EQUALITY is essially about trust and COMPLEMENTARITY.

    Imo

    I agree.
    male-tears-2.jpg
    deadeye
  • obnoxiouslyfreshobnoxiouslyfresh Still Ginny From The Block Posts: 11,495 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I wrote all that shit and didn't even know there was an accompanying video
    Angel out of heaven, such a goddess, have a nigga praying [-O<
    deadeye
  • WestieWestie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaPosts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Lots of weak females are acting feminists but behind curtains they re not.
    Once they find a man they forget all that shit.

    TRUE FEMINISTS i know are divorced or single.


    That depends on your definition of a feminist. Your opinion on what a feminist is doesn't make it so.
    male-tears-2.jpg
    obnoxiouslyfreshdesertrain10The Iconoclast
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