Spin-off: When It Comes to Dating/Marriage, To What Extent Is Compatibility Necessary or Desirable?

Plutarch

An old head once schooled me and some other 20-30-something year olds on how compatibility is a nonsensical myth when it comes to whom you date or marry if you intend to have a good, healthy relationship. Needless to say, some of us strongly disagreed, and an ultimately unresolved argument ensued. I myself am on the fence.

So what say you? How important is compatibility? Are online dating sites that match people full of ? ? Do opposites really attract? How compatible would you say you are/were with your significant other? Does it matter (to you and/or others)? Would you say it matters in others’ relationships?

Cleveland7venty6

I don't know

Like i said "I dont know."

I think my down fall is always trying to be compatible with christian Black women even tho im more conscious than Malcolm X.

I bring up religion because while they're at church listening to a pastor who is telling them that the reason her relationship isnt working is because he isnt there in church, receiving the word, with them, while...

We're at home playing playstation/Xbox and calling it "free time."

The hustle is real.

Conscious Black Womens FTW.

2stepz_ahead

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

i think its very necessary.

what is the point of being with someone who you are constantly fighting with. what other reason is it to be with them outside of using them for money, looks or a notch on the bedpost.

opposites attract but its still something there thats makes them compatible.

she can be a sloppy person and him can be a neat freak....both opposites...but they both enjoy cotton top movies, cruises and walks in the rain. that makes them compatible,but they also have different interests.

outsdie of a one night thing....i cant find a reason to be with someone without having something in common.

even with friendships...i need to have something in common with you

2stepz_ahead

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

its ok to discuss your different likes and dislikes while doing something you both enjoy

the dukester

Regardless, it really doesn't matter in the end

Compatibility with this ? and stomach is all that matters......

In other words, food, sex, and silence.

(Ebonics translation) ? me, feed me, and shut the ? up!!

Stiff

@Plutarch what did the old head say was the most important factor of a healthy relationship if not compatibility?

2stepz_ahead

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

the dukester wrote: »

Compatibility with this ? and stomach is all that matters......

In other words, food, sex, and silence.

(Ebonics translation) ? me, feed me, and shut the ? up!!

if all men dont want this....you ? made and like drama like a chick(see troy ave, taxstone)

gns

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

Cleveland7venty6 wrote: »

Like i said "I dont know."

I think my down fall is always trying to be compatible with christian Black women even tho im more conscious than Malcolm X.
I bring up religion because while they're at church listening to a pastor who is telling them that the reason her relationship isnt working is because he isnt there in church, receiving the word, with them, while...

We're at home playing playstation/Xbox and calling it "free time."

The hustle is real.

Conscious Black Womens FTW.

who tf does this guy think he is

AZTG

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

i talked to a old head myself who was close to 70 and had been married for like 40 years. dude would act like he was still in love. call his wife everyday after work while she was on the bus and ? . and at the time I was like 2 years in with my relationship and was already getting bored.

so i asked him. I was like, how do you do it? whats the most important thing that you have in your relationship? is it love? he was like man ? love, that ? only goes so long, you need compatability and a person that wants the relationship to work as much as you do.

playmaker88

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

Listening to "Old Heads" the wrong old heads has people ? up in the game.. lol @ "NewPort wisdom"

Cinco

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

She gotta be able to cater to me like I like, evolve wit me. Show interest in my serious side...

My last chic-- She was bad (bout an 8). Freak. Crazy about @cinco. But missing the above. Had to cut it

SolemnSauce

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

The longer you're married, the more you will grow to understand how important compatibility is.

Fosheezy

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

If you not compatible it simply won't work

Ajackson17

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

This is like a staunch atheist a staunch Muslim being together. ? ain't gonna work

2stepz_ahead

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

Cinco wrote: »

She gotta be able to cater to me like I like, evolve wit me. Show interest in my serious side...

My last chic-- She was bad (bout an 8). Freak. Crazy about @cinco. But missing the above. Had to cut it

did this ? just @ himself

did you check your alert to see who send you a message.....
you still mah ? bruh...lol

S2J

Bruh...what!?! :joy:

"Is it important to get along wirh someone you will spend a lot of time with?"

What am i missing here, what kind of question is this

Trillfate

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

S2J wrote: »

Bruh...what!?! :joy:

"Is it important to get along wirh someone you will spend a lot of time with?"

What am i missing here, what kind of question is this

Nah u know what he means. A lot of ppl are together out of necessity, not love or friendship..

MrMinimalist

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

That's why it's so many ? up households out here. People are only sexually compatible and that's it. When a child is born, that's when hell starts.

Weak women and men remain in unhealthy relationships trying to make it work because the compatibility wasn't there from the start or not working together.

mryounggun

Compatibility can mean a few different things. Me and my old lady are VERY different. We just have vastly different outlooks on life. Some people look at that as us not being compatible. But that's not how I define compatibility because, for the most part, her weaknesses are my strengths and vice verse. The ? that she pays not attention to at all...are usually things I pay close attention to. Etc, etc.

Also, it depends on how patient you are and how much work you're willing to put into your relationship. If you aren't very patient and aren't willing to put in the work to work out the kinks and get on the same page, being with someone you are very 'compatible' with is a necessity.

zzombie

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

I can't be with a ? the eats hamhocks,neck bones and watches love &hip-hop while I eat salad and watch the history channel

S2J

Trillfate wrote: »

S2J wrote: »

Bruh...what!?! :joy:

"Is it important to get along wirh someone you will spend a lot of time with?"

What am i missing here, what kind of question is this

Nah u know what he means. A lot of ppl are together out of necessity, not love or friendship..

Man, what

A lot of people go raw in unsavory women. We wouldn't make a thrad "is it smart to go raw in unsavory women?"

Its just a ? question. Who's gonna say 'nah, i prefer not to be compatible'

NothingButTheTruth

I don't know

Everyone's relationships are different, and nothing is set in stone. Some of y'all are sex or impulse-driven animals. Ol' I got to marry her 'cause her ? good ass ? . Some of y'all want a trophy wife. Ol' she bad and she do the dishes ass ? . And some people want someone that complements them on all facets, while others do it for money/power reasons.

Just do whatever makes you happy.

Lou Cypher

I don't know

I dont know ? about relationships. If you like someone and they like you back, cool. You will always have big similarities and big differences.

LUClEN

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

Compatibility is crucial. Sucks for me cause culture is a big part of it but I'm super white washed and don't really speak either of my parent's mother tongues. Whenever I meet French or Spanish girls they always disappointed af that I can speak and don't really share the same culture

the dukester

Regardless, it really doesn't matter in the end

Ajackson17 wrote: »

This is like a staunch atheist a staunch Muslim being together. ? ain't gonna work

I disagree solider.

I'm a staunch atheist, and my "wifey"/baby mom's is a Jesus freak to the 5th power!

How does it work??

I stay in my lane (I don't ridicule or mock her "adult fairy tale" beliefs, and she eventually gave up on trying to "convert"/save me.)

Apparently, our relationship is running on pure "oil & water."

Go figure

Compatibility, at the least, is very important and, at the most, necessary

Compatibility is everything. Idk how anyone could say otherwise. Its more important than looks, its what gets people to commit.

The less compatible u are, the less likely the relationship will work out.