Scumbag Thread 2.0
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oh, so y'all want that heat? Okay. I was trying out driving for Uber and I was at this gas station a couple nights ago. Oh and before I forget to mention, I love my girlfriend.
...Anyway, I'm at the gas station and I see this cute little red bone with glasses. I say, "aww look at you with your little Amy Winehouse bandana. You look like Minney Mouse. Are you a blood?" I keep throwing out funny compliments until I get some type of response and she was cheesing. I know it was corny but it worked.
I pull out my phone and she says is that a Galaxy Note 3? I say no, it's a Note 4, and now we're comparing phones. I say "show me the last picture you took in your phone." Hesitant, she showed me. I quickly hit the back button and scroll straight down to look at her other pictures. I say, "you know three out of every five cute women have provocative pictures in their phone right?" And lo and behold, shorty has some bathroom bubble bath pics that were off tha ? chaaaaaiiiiin.
"Damn you got a nice ass little body... I'll ? the ? outcho lil ass." She laughs reaching to get her phone back. A customer comes in the store, so I say hey let me get your number so I can ride out.
I get to the car and forget to pay for gas and blunts. I spent so much time cake baking that I forgot to buy ? . So I come back in, tell her what I need, then I told her to meet me outside and hit this blunt with me when she gets a minute.
so shorty comes to the car and first we hit a blunt I let her play some tunes in the auxiliary. We're talking about tattoos and nipple and piercings, and anything to make her look more like a emo sex slave. She confesses to coming up from a broken home, and from a life of depression, and that she currently has a lesbian roommate that she occasionally hooks up with for the past 5 years. Shorty's trying to convince me that she doesn't like ? . I tell her again,
"you cute as f***. Man let me see them lil ? in real life. what's your belly button look like? Is it an innie or an outtie?" She pulls up and shows me her belly button and says "I don't have the piercing is that bad?" I start kissing stomach, rubbin leg, and workin my way up. As soon as I said, "what that ? look like?" I lied to you NOT, my girl calls the phone right then. Huge picture ID that says "wifey."
I look at the phone, then I look back at the gas station chick trying to get back in motion. She put her hand on my forehead like a basketball and pushed me back in a you-shall-not-pass motion.
so now the gas station chick opens up her door like she's ready to walk out, but I grabbed her by the arm and softly said sit back down baby.
I talked to my girlfriend in the headset for like 1 minute and say "baby I'm on a uber trip I got to call you back." she said okay baby, I love you. I laugh and said "love love love love love" but it sounded like "lalalalala," because I didn't want red bone n dipping on me. I STILL wanted this gas station chick bad. My girlfriend said, "Quit being funny Irah. Say it for real!" for real! Say it!
I had to do it, she sound like that Brownstone single. So, lol I took a deep breath and said, * sigh, * I love you too.
The gas station chick walked out of my car and says, "See? THIS is why I don't like ? !" -
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Off that gif....im not gonna read *shrugs*
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...what side of town was this Geechie?
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geechee slim wrote: »oh, so y'all want that heat? Okay. I was trying out driving for Uber and I was at this gas station a couple nights ago. Oh and before I forget to mention, I love my girlfriend.
...Anyway, I'm at the gas station and I see this cute little red bone with glasses. I say, "aww look at you with your little Amy Winehouse bandana. You look like Minney Mouse. Are you a blood?" I keep throwing out funny compliments until I get some type of response and she was cheesing. I know it was corny but it worked.
I pull out my phone and she says is that a Galaxy Note 3? I say no, it's a Note 4, and now we're comparing phones. I say "show me the last picture you took in your phone." Hesitant, she showed me. I quickly hit the back button and scroll straight down to look at her other pictures. I say, "you know three out of every five cute women have provocative pictures in their phone right?" And lo and behold, shorty has some bathroom bubble bath pics that were off tha ? chaaaaaiiiiin.
"Damn you got a nice ass little body... I'll ? the ? outcho lil ass." She laughs reaching to get her phone back. A customer comes in the store, so I say hey let me get your number so I can ride out.
I get to the car and forget to pay for gas and blunts. I spent so much time cake baking that I forgot to buy ? . So I come back in, tell her what I need, then I told her to meet me outside and hit this blunt with me when she gets a minute.
so shorty comes to the car and first we hit a blunt I let her play some tunes in the auxiliary. We're talking about tattoos and nipple and piercings, and anything to make her look more like a emo sex slave. She confesses to coming up from a broken home, and from a life of depression, and that she currently has a lesbian roommate that she occasionally hooks up with for the past 5 years. Shorty's trying to convince me that she doesn't like ? . I tell her again,
"you cute as f***. Man let me see them lil ? in real life. what's your belly button look like? Is it an innie or an outtie?" She pulls up and shows me her belly button and says "I don't have the piercing is that bad?" I start kissing stomach, rubbin leg, and workin my way up. As soon as I said, "what that ? look like?" I lied to you NOT, my girl calls the phone right then. Huge picture ID that says "wifey."
I look at the phone, then I look back at the gas station chick trying to get back in motion. She put her hand on my forehead like a basketball and pushed me back in a you-shall-not-pass motion.
so now the gas station chick opens up her door like she's ready to walk out, but I grabbed her by the arm and softly said sit back down baby.
I talked to my girlfriend in the headset for like 1 minute and say "baby I'm on a uber trip I got to call you back." she said okay baby, I love you. I laugh and said "love love love love love" but it sounded like "lalalalala," because I didn't want red bone n dipping on me. I STILL wanted this gas station chick bad. My girlfriend said, "Quit being funny Irah. Say it for real!" for real! Say it!
I had to do it, she sound like that Brownstone single. So, lol I took a deep breath and said, * sigh, * I love you too.
The gas station chick walked out of my car and says, "See? THIS is why I don't like ? !"
You went THAT hard over a depressed gas station emo chick? You out here kissing ? gas station belly buttons b?...
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? said, "so yall want that heat?"
Lmao wow -
This is worse than ya flat earth video....
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I'm not the ? I used to be. It's a full time job not to cheat tho.
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I was rooting for u
u was gona eat a strangers ? -
At least the comments made up for the story some what lol
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So im out one night and meet this chick downtown. We start talkin and whatnot and shes tryna find out what im gettin into. I tell her that its pretty much whatever. She says she wants to get some drinks/drink, and did i know somewhere we could go. We not going back to mine because..we just don't do that. So im suggesting all these spots and shes talkin about grabbin a 40 and going to a park or something. Now im kinda like ".....ok.....?" Not sure what ive gotten myself into. Im like man im not 16 and not about to sit around at a park drinking. So shes like well we can go to my place if you want, but its kinda small. Ok cool lets do that. We get to this spot that looks like its little market place on the outside but on the inside was pretty much project hallways...shoulda been another flag. We get in her room..its essentially a little studio with a bed and some tables and stuff. I sit on the floor and she grabs some beers. Were sittin on the floor talkin and drinkin and ? and she starts on my neck. Im like oooh ? ..i know what time it is. As shes kissin on my neck and ? i kinda glance up and its a couple roaches on the wall..."hmm..ok" some more looking...some more roaches...look at the carpet kinda where im sitting...roaches...all these mfs are just walkin around chillin and ? like on a stroll. Im lookin at all these ? roaches everywhere and that everybody has roaches song starts playing in my head but ? that. She sees me looking at em and is like idk where they keep coming from. Im just like "...hah..." now she says shes gotta go to the bathroom. She goes in the bathroom and turns the light on...when she does that the reg light in her room turns off, so im like wtf and stand up lol...im standing in this dark ass room picturing all these damn roaches runnin around me and prob on me and ? and say ? it im out...as im heading out, shes coming out the bathroom like where you going...i keep it moving, dont say nothing, dont look back...im out!
https://youtu.be/eMc3K4WThxg -
Yea ....so lets gon close this thread until the new year.
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Lurkristocrat wrote: »Yea ....so lets gon close this thread until the new year.
808 tried at least. Lol -
? one of my classmates crushes and he salty as ? about it lmaooooooo
he was in love on some @Trillfate ? -
Lol I thought I was missing something by being absent from this thread...
I was wrong -
CashmoneyDux wrote: »? one of my classmates crushes and he salty as ? about it lmaooooooo
he was in love on some @Trillfate ?
How'd he find out? -
CashmoneyDux wrote: »? one of my classmates crushes and he salty as ? about it lmaooooooo
he was in love on some @Trillfate ?
I've done this a few times -
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CashmoneyDux wrote: »? one of my classmates crushes and he salty as ? about it lmaooooooo
he was in love on some @Trillfate ?
How'd he find out?
People talk wayyyyyy too much -
808HiLife808 wrote: »So im out one night and meet this chick downtown. We start talkin and whatnot and shes tryna find out what im gettin into. I tell her that its pretty much whatever. She says she wants to get some drinks/drink, and did i know somewhere we could go. We not going back to mine because..we just don't do that. So im suggesting all these spots and shes talkin about grabbin a 40 and going to a park or something. Now im kinda like ".....ok.....?" Not sure what ive gotten myself into. Im like man im not 16 and not about to sit around at a park drinking. So shes like well we can go to my place if you want, but its kinda small. Ok cool lets do that. We get to this spot that looks like its little market place on the outside but on the inside was pretty much project hallways...shoulda been another flag. We get in her room..its essentially a little studio with a bed and some tables and stuff. I sit on the floor and she grabs some beers. Were sittin on the floor talkin and drinkin and ? and she starts on my neck. Im like oooh ? ..i know what time it is. As shes kissin on my neck and ? i kinda glance up and its a couple roaches on the wall..."hmm..ok" some more looking...some more roaches...look at the carpet kinda where im sitting...roaches...all these mfs are just walkin around chillin and ? like on a stroll. Im lookin at all these ? roaches everywhere and that everybody has roaches song starts playing in my head but ? that. She sees me looking at em and is like idk where they keep coming from. Im just like "...hah..." now she says shes gotta go to the bathroom. She goes in the bathroom and turns the light on...when she does that the reg light in her room turns off, so im like wtf and stand up lol...im standing in this dark ass room picturing all these damn roaches runnin around me and prob on me and ? and say ? it im out...as im heading out, shes coming out the bathroom like where you going...i keep it moving, dont say nothing, dont look back...im out!https://youtu.be/eMc3K4WThxg
? ! I had a similar situation ? with this chick she invited me over saying she gonna cook for me I'm like cool. First time going over there. I walk in and it's hot as hell and a little musty. Some crumbs and paper on the floor. I'm like damn this ? can't even vacuum her floor before I come over? So she's like I gotta wash my dishes before I cook. You can tell the dishes been sitting in there for awhile you can smell stagnant water and everything. So she starts lifting dishes out the sink and I ? you not roaches started spilling out that muthafucka ? was like Joe's Apartment.
I was out that ? so fast. Then the ? got the nerve to be mad that I left talking about lose my number. lol -
CashmoneyDux wrote: »CashmoneyDux wrote: »? one of my classmates crushes and he salty as ? about it lmaooooooo
he was in love on some @Trillfate ?
How'd he find out?
People talk wayyyyyy too much
But why u did that..thats not cool -
illestni99ainne wrote: »808HiLife808 wrote: »So im out one night and meet this chick downtown. We start talkin and whatnot and shes tryna find out what im gettin into. I tell her that its pretty much whatever. She says she wants to get some drinks/drink, and did i know somewhere we could go. We not going back to mine because..we just don't do that. So im suggesting all these spots and shes talkin about grabbin a 40 and going to a park or something. Now im kinda like ".....ok.....?" Not sure what ive gotten myself into. Im like man im not 16 and not about to sit around at a park drinking. So shes like well we can go to my place if you want, but its kinda small. Ok cool lets do that. We get to this spot that looks like its little market place on the outside but on the inside was pretty much project hallways...shoulda been another flag. We get in her room..its essentially a little studio with a bed and some tables and stuff. I sit on the floor and she grabs some beers. Were sittin on the floor talkin and drinkin and ? and she starts on my neck. Im like oooh ? ..i know what time it is. As shes kissin on my neck and ? i kinda glance up and its a couple roaches on the wall..."hmm..ok" some more looking...some more roaches...look at the carpet kinda where im sitting...roaches...all these mfs are just walkin around chillin and ? like on a stroll. Im lookin at all these ? roaches everywhere and that everybody has roaches song starts playing in my head but ? that. She sees me looking at em and is like idk where they keep coming from. Im just like "...hah..." now she says shes gotta go to the bathroom. She goes in the bathroom and turns the light on...when she does that the reg light in her room turns off, so im like wtf and stand up lol...im standing in this dark ass room picturing all these damn roaches runnin around me and prob on me and ? and say ? it im out...as im heading out, shes coming out the bathroom like where you going...i keep it moving, dont say nothing, dont look back...im out!https://youtu.be/eMc3K4WThxg
? ! I had a similar situation ? with this chick she invited me over saying she gonna cook for me I'm like cool. First time going over there. I walk in and it's hot as hell and a little musty. Some crumbs and paper on the floor. I'm like damn this ? can't even vacuum her floor before I come over? So she's like I gotta wash my dishes before I cook. You can tell the dishes been sitting in there for awhile you can smell stagnant water and everything. So she starts lifting dishes out the sink and I ? you not roaches started spilling out that muthafucka ? was like Joe's Apartment.
I was out that ? so fast. Then the ? got the nerve to be mad that I left talking about lose my number. lol
Lol you just got up and walked away? -
silverfoxx wrote: »illestni99ainne wrote: »808HiLife808 wrote: »So im out one night and meet this chick downtown. We start talkin and whatnot and shes tryna find out what im gettin into. I tell her that its pretty much whatever. She says she wants to get some drinks/drink, and did i know somewhere we could go. We not going back to mine because..we just don't do that. So im suggesting all these spots and shes talkin about grabbin a 40 and going to a park or something. Now im kinda like ".....ok.....?" Not sure what ive gotten myself into. Im like man im not 16 and not about to sit around at a park drinking. So shes like well we can go to my place if you want, but its kinda small. Ok cool lets do that. We get to this spot that looks like its little market place on the outside but on the inside was pretty much project hallways...shoulda been another flag. We get in her room..its essentially a little studio with a bed and some tables and stuff. I sit on the floor and she grabs some beers. Were sittin on the floor talkin and drinkin and ? and she starts on my neck. Im like oooh ? ..i know what time it is. As shes kissin on my neck and ? i kinda glance up and its a couple roaches on the wall..."hmm..ok" some more looking...some more roaches...look at the carpet kinda where im sitting...roaches...all these mfs are just walkin around chillin and ? like on a stroll. Im lookin at all these ? roaches everywhere and that everybody has roaches song starts playing in my head but ? that. She sees me looking at em and is like idk where they keep coming from. Im just like "...hah..." now she says shes gotta go to the bathroom. She goes in the bathroom and turns the light on...when she does that the reg light in her room turns off, so im like wtf and stand up lol...im standing in this dark ass room picturing all these damn roaches runnin around me and prob on me and ? and say ? it im out...as im heading out, shes coming out the bathroom like where you going...i keep it moving, dont say nothing, dont look back...im out!https://youtu.be/eMc3K4WThxg
? ! I had a similar situation ? with this chick she invited me over saying she gonna cook for me I'm like cool. First time going over there. I walk in and it's hot as hell and a little musty. Some crumbs and paper on the floor. I'm like damn this ? can't even vacuum her floor before I come over? So she's like I gotta wash my dishes before I cook. You can tell the dishes been sitting in there for awhile you can smell stagnant water and everything. So she starts lifting dishes out the sink and I ? you not roaches started spilling out that muthafucka ? was like Joe's Apartment.
I was out that ? so fast. Then the ? got the nerve to be mad that I left talking about lose my number. lol
Lol you just got up and walked away?
I never sat down ? that I was in and out that ? in like 10 minutes lol -
illestni99ainne wrote: »808HiLife808 wrote: »So im out one night and meet this chick downtown. We start talkin and whatnot and shes tryna find out what im gettin into. I tell her that its pretty much whatever. She says she wants to get some drinks/drink, and did i know somewhere we could go. We not going back to mine because..we just don't do that. So im suggesting all these spots and shes talkin about grabbin a 40 and going to a park or something. Now im kinda like ".....ok.....?" Not sure what ive gotten myself into. Im like man im not 16 and not about to sit around at a park drinking. So shes like well we can go to my place if you want, but its kinda small. Ok cool lets do that. We get to this spot that looks like its little market place on the outside but on the inside was pretty much project hallways...shoulda been another flag. We get in her room..its essentially a little studio with a bed and some tables and stuff. I sit on the floor and she grabs some beers. Were sittin on the floor talkin and drinkin and ? and she starts on my neck. Im like oooh ? ..i know what time it is. As shes kissin on my neck and ? i kinda glance up and its a couple roaches on the wall..."hmm..ok" some more looking...some more roaches...look at the carpet kinda where im sitting...roaches...all these mfs are just walkin around chillin and ? like on a stroll. Im lookin at all these ? roaches everywhere and that everybody has roaches song starts playing in my head but ? that. She sees me looking at em and is like idk where they keep coming from. Im just like "...hah..." now she says shes gotta go to the bathroom. She goes in the bathroom and turns the light on...when she does that the reg light in her room turns off, so im like wtf and stand up lol...im standing in this dark ass room picturing all these damn roaches runnin around me and prob on me and ? and say ? it im out...as im heading out, shes coming out the bathroom like where you going...i keep it moving, dont say nothing, dont look back...im out!https://youtu.be/eMc3K4WThxg
? ! I had a similar situation ? with this chick she invited me over saying she gonna cook for me I'm like cool. First time going over there. I walk in and it's hot as hell and a little musty. Some crumbs and paper on the floor. I'm like damn this ? can't even vacuum her floor before I come over? So she's like I gotta wash my dishes before I cook. You can tell the dishes been sitting in there for awhile you can smell stagnant water and everything. So she starts lifting dishes out the sink and I ? you not roaches started spilling out that muthafucka ? was like Joe's Apartment.
I was out that ? so fast. Then the ? got the nerve to be mad that I left talking about lose my number. lol
Should've left her the # to Terminix
