Is There Anyway To Avoid Child Support
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
she shouldnt be getting cash from you if she has you on support.
all monies should go to the child when the child is with you. all the ? you buy...stay with you when the child aint with you. sounds harsh...but this is what she wanted.
she wanted support...ok you got support. dont ask for ? else.
yall gotta play this game to win.
Real ? . I learned that ? the hard way too.
? went to foc for an increase. I'm pointing out everything I bought outside of cs. Shoes, coats, food etc because she wasn't doing it and nobody cared when I brought that ? up.
She sat there and stone cold said "well I never asked you to do it". The referee agreed.
I wanted to shoot that whole ? up.
In the end I still won because she ended up getting a decreased amount. No more cs tho since getting sole custody. Being up out of that system feel like fresh out the pen. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
she shouldnt be getting cash from you if she has you on support.
all monies should go to the child when the child is with you. all the ? you buy...stay with you when the child aint with you. sounds harsh...but this is what she wanted.
she wanted support...ok you got support. dont ask for ? else.
yall gotta play this game to win.
Real ? . I learned that ? the hard way too.
? went to foc for an increase. I'm pointing out everything I bought outside of cs. Shoes, coats, food etc because she wasn't doing it and nobody cared when I brought that ? up.
She sat there and stone cold said "well I never asked you to do it". The referee agreed.
I wanted to shoot that whole ? up.
In the end I still won because she ended up getting a decreased amount. No more cs tho since getting sole custody. Being up out of that system feel like fresh out the pen.
man...i felt free as well....then oput her ass on support...then i was all types of fukk ? .
you be surprised at how chicks view a dude that wants sole custody of his kid.
i got more hate than a dead beat dad. real ? -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
she shouldnt be getting cash from you if she has you on support.
all monies should go to the child when the child is with you. all the ? you buy...stay with you when the child aint with you. sounds harsh...but this is what she wanted.
she wanted support...ok you got support. dont ask for ? else.
yall gotta play this game to win.
Exactly how I handled the ? . And somehow because of all the bumb ? she was doing, she wasn't even getting all of what I was paying. She told me that ? like it was my problem. -
Ask Rae Carruth @TayGettem
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
she shouldnt be getting cash from you if she has you on support.
all monies should go to the child when the child is with you. all the ? you buy...stay with you when the child aint with you. sounds harsh...but this is what she wanted.
she wanted support...ok you got support. dont ask for ? else.
yall gotta play this game to win.
Exactly how I handled the ? . And somehow because of all the bumb ? she was doing, she wasn't even getting all of what I was paying. She told me that ? like it was my problem.
another thing people miss.
admin fees come out of support....you paying $100...she might be getting $85
the system is there to make money...an thats also why they drag it out.
filing for custody or stopping support....takes like 1-2 years to get a date.
but when she files for support.....date by the end of the week.
insert *kickin knowledge gif* -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
she shouldnt be getting cash from you if she has you on support.
all monies should go to the child when the child is with you. all the ? you buy...stay with you when the child aint with you. sounds harsh...but this is what she wanted.
she wanted support...ok you got support. dont ask for ? else.
yall gotta play this game to win.
Real ? . I learned that ? the hard way too.
? went to foc for an increase. I'm pointing out everything I bought outside of cs. Shoes, coats, food etc because she wasn't doing it and nobody cared when I brought that ? up.
She sat there and stone cold said "well I never asked you to do it". The referee agreed.
I wanted to shoot that whole ? up.
In the end I still won because she ended up getting a decreased amount. No more cs tho since getting sole custody. Being up out of that system feel like fresh out the pen.
My ex sent that ? to me through a text like....." to make things easier, why don't you just write me a check for the child support". I stared at my phone like "? you must think I'm stupid". First off that wasn't what was discussed in the MDA. Second, yo ass been lying on me and doing foul ? for a minute. ? I look like trusting you w/ anything. I put myself on child support and pay that ? through the system. I told the mfs at the c/s office what she said and they were like "yeah...don't fall for that. I've seen too many instances where fathers pay the mother directly and then the woman will have the man in court talking about he hasn't been paying. And more often than not the judge will side w/ the woman and say that whatever the father paid is a "gift". Imagine paying her directly for years only for a judge to tell you that none of those payments mattered.....you still gotta pay all that back child support....smmfh. -
I already signed his birth certificate. I was there when she pushed him out. He's two now ik he's mine cuz she started messing around in like dec of last yr. My issue is i have no legal claim to him without a dna test but i get one i still get out on CS. Why should i have to pay this bird 300 to 400 just for the privilege to see my son who i helped create when im already taking care of him all cuz she wanna keep him from me df. The system rigged to fck me over
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I already signed his birth certificate. I was there when she pushed him out. He's two now ik he's mine cuz she started messing around in like dec of last yr. My issue is i have no legal claim to him without a dna test but i get one i still get out on CS. Why should i have to pay this bird 300 to 400 just for the privilege to see my son who i helped create when im already taking care of him all cuz she wanna keep him from me df. The system rigged to fck me over
mamas baby papas maybe.
you being there during birth dont make him yours.
you can do paternity tests outside of court.
get ya googles on...an you will see its pretty cheap and takes about two weeks.
young man......whats your end goal? you seem a bit confused. -
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My end goal is to just see my son. I work 12hrs a day M to F so obviously full custody is a no go. She doesn't work so clearly she has more free time so im the financial provider for my kid besides her grandparents. So Pampers, wipes, clothes...etc is all me. All she gotta do is watch him. We had a verbal agreements i get him every two weeks and can come see him when ever i want. But since she started dating this new guy she been actin funny. She took our child to this man's house for a whole week without consulting me and wouldnt answer her phone so i couldnt even get in contact with her or my child and wouldnt gemme a address. Now she talkin bout her and her new ? moving to Florida and taking my son......i just want to see my son but its lookin like going to court the only way to do that which means CS and i don't want that. Cuz why pay her 300 to 400 a month to see my child when i already buy him everything he need and want anyway. Thats jst giving her free money to do watever with
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My end goal is to just see my son. I work 12hrs a day M to F so obviously full custody is a no go. She doesn't work so clearly she has more free time so im the financial provider for my kid besides her grandparents. So Pampers, wipes, clothes...etc is all me. All she gotta do is watch him. We had a verbal agreements i get him every two weeks and can come see him when ever i want. But since she started dating this new guy she been actin funny. She took our child to this man's house for a whole week without consulting me and wouldnt answer her phone so i couldnt even get in contact with her or my child and wouldnt gemme a address. Now she talkin bout her and her new ? moving to Florida and taking my son......i just want to see my son but its lookin like going to court the only way to do that which means CS and i don't want that. Cuz why pay her 300 to 400 a month to see my child when i already buy him everything he need and want anyway. Thats jst giving her free money to do watever with
i stopped after the first line.
i gotta come down on you bruh.
dont matter what hours you work. you already got an inplace excuse for why not.
ok...pralims scenario alert.
if your bm dies tomorrow...guess who gets the kid? you will have to figure it out. what are your plans? do you have any back up plans for that?
raising a kid is about the what ifs. just from the first line....a judge will see you not serious and kick you outta court.
so is it about just seeing your son? not paying support? or are you trynna be a father? cuz if its the latter....you have alot of power an say so....if its the former...you giving her all the power.
now...as i read the rest.....stop worrying about this new dude. aye..shes a woman. she wants companionship. if you need to flip it on her...then do it. tell her she can spend more time developing a relationship with dude if she didnt have a kid there. ? , its worth a try.
and about CS....man that should not be as much as a deciding factor as your making it.
think about your kid...coming to you years later talking about you didnt protect me or fight for me and bad things happened....all because you didnt want to fight because of support payment.
i know people always say i go to far...but this is the real world where anything can happen. and you have to be prepared for it.
dont let another man have to discipline you child
dont let another man the decision of allowing you to speak to your child when you call his house.
dont let another man have that type control over you and yours
dont let this chick use the kid as a ? .
bruh..im telling you this ? needs to get nipped in the bud an it only get harder the longer you wait.
i been thru it twice for over a decade....? had me on tyrese status on christmases and birthdays. but it was worth it to me to keep fighting for my children. they didnt ask to be here. dont make them suffer because yall cant get along.
again i say man up.
put your ? on the table.
dont allow this chick to just punch you in the face...duck an gut punch her.
and she cant go outta state without your permission anyway...she straight up playing you like you a short ? .
dont allow it bruh.
? on this site will tell you how they felt when they finally met they dad. they hated that ? who didnt fight for them.
thats YOUR seed bruh -
mryounggun wrote: »First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
^^^^I'm thinking pretty similar ? . But I'll leave that ? alone. Got one serious question, though.
Have you actually tried talking to her and working out joint 50/50 custody with her?
Overtime this kind of ? is brought up on the IC, it seems like when the breakup happens, it's automatically assumed without any discussion that the kid is going to be with mom and dad will have weekends or visitation or whatever the ? . And I never really understand why that's the default.
Me and my son's mom literally never had a conversation at all about custody when we broke up. She already knew it was gonna be 50/50 and so did I. Only thing we had to talk about was the actual logistics. I feel like ANYTIME two people break up, 50/50 should be the default. Ideally, that removes the need for any sort of support from either side.
So have you tried to arrange that with her? If so, what was the outcome?
ur forgetting most women don't act like yours.. u blessed homie
I'm not forgetting the at all. I just want dude to answer the question. -
I already signed his birth certificate. I was there when she pushed him out. He's two now ik he's mine cuz she started messing around in like dec of last yr. My issue is i have no legal claim to him without a dna test but i get one i still get out on CS. Why should i have to pay this bird 300 to 400 just for the privilege to see my son who i helped create when im already taking care of him all cuz she wanna keep him from me df. The system rigged to fck me over
Signing the BC does not make you the legal father
If you are unmarried then in order to get rights to your child you need an order not a DNA test
Not saying don't get one but it is not a way to just get rights to your child. There is more to it ... -
gotta make sure you in this to win.
cant be part timing it.
you just wasnt dealt those card bruh.
everybody aint @mryounggun i still hate that ? guts for having such an understand bm. this some ? -
My end goal is to just see my son. I work 12hrs a day M to F so obviously full custody is a no go. She doesn't work so clearly she has more free time so im the financial provider for my kid besides her grandparents. So Pampers, wipes, clothes...etc is all me. All she gotta do is watch him. We had a verbal agreements i get him every two weeks and can come see him when ever i want. But since she started dating this new guy she been actin funny. She took our child to this man's house for a whole week without consulting me and wouldnt answer her phone so i couldnt even get in contact with her or my child and wouldnt gemme a address. Now she talkin bout her and her new ? moving to Florida and taking my son......i just want to see my son but its lookin like going to court the only way to do that which means CS and i don't want that. Cuz why pay her 300 to 400 a month to see my child when i already buy him everything he need and want anyway. Thats jst giving her free money to do watever with
wait so you don't to be the primary parent .....just not pay her support ????
Smh
And why does she have to ask permission to take your child somewhere ??? Unless the person is a threat to your child you will lose that battle
Without a court order you don't have any rights -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »gotta make sure you in this to win.
cant be part timing it.
you just wasnt dealt those card bruh.
everybody aint @mryounggun i still hate that ? guts for having such an understand bm. this some ?
My sons dad and I had a court order and we had no major issues
It's usually about how the people behave and not the system -
mryounggun wrote: »First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
^^^^I'm thinking pretty similar ? . But I'll leave that ? alone. Got one serious question, though.
Have you actually tried talking to her and working out joint 50/50 custody with her?
Overtime this kind of ? is brought up on the IC, it seems like when the breakup happens, it's automatically assumed without any discussion that the kid is going to be with mom and dad will have weekends or visitation or whatever the ? . And I never really understand why that's the default.
Me and my son's mom literally never had a conversation at all about custody when we broke up. She already knew it was gonna be 50/50 and so did I. Only thing we had to talk about was the actual logistics. I feel like ANYTIME two people break up, 50/50 should be the default. Ideally, that removes the need for any sort of support from either side.
So have you tried to arrange that with her? If so, what was the outcome?
How do y'all do 50/50? Switch every week?
Yeah week to week. -
I already signed his birth certificate. I was there when she pushed him out. He's two now ik he's mine cuz she started messing around in like dec of last yr. My issue is i have no legal claim to him without a dna test but i get one i still get out on CS. Why should i have to pay this bird 300 to 400 just for the privilege to see my son who i helped create when im already taking care of him all cuz she wanna keep him from me df. The system rigged to fck me over
I'ma just keep it a buck here, fam. You're not paying for the privilege of seeing your son, you're paying to support him financially. And if I'm being honest - all things considered - I'll tell you that $300-$400 a month ain't...-eh, nevemind. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »gotta make sure you in this to win.
cant be part timing it.
you just wasnt dealt those card bruh.
everybody aint @mryounggun i still hate that ? guts for having such an understand bm. this some ?
Hate ya own guts, ? . Lol. I be tryna tell y'all ? . I didn't just slip and fall into a partner who ain't a ? . I orchestrated it that way. Before ANYTHING else, ? need to ask themselves this before having a baby with a woman:
'Is this a GOOD PERSON?'.
It ain't that difficult. -
MsSouthern wrote: »My end goal is to just see my son. I work 12hrs a day M to F so obviously full custody is a no go. She doesn't work so clearly she has more free time so im the financial provider for my kid besides her grandparents. So Pampers, wipes, clothes...etc is all me. All she gotta do is watch him. We had a verbal agreements i get him every two weeks and can come see him when ever i want. But since she started dating this new guy she been actin funny. She took our child to this man's house for a whole week without consulting me and wouldnt answer her phone so i couldnt even get in contact with her or my child and wouldnt gemme a address. Now she talkin bout her and her new ? moving to Florida and taking my son......i just want to see my son but its lookin like going to court the only way to do that which means CS and i don't want that. Cuz why pay her 300 to 400 a month to see my child when i already buy him everything he need and want anyway. Thats jst giving her free money to do watever with
wait so you don't to be the primary parent .....just not pay her support ????
Smh
And why does she have to ask permission to take your child somewhere ??? Unless the person is a threat to your child you will lose that battle
Without a court order you don't have any rights
In THAT situation? Shorty taking his kid to some new ? house...who he hasn't met with yet...for an entire week...and refuse to give him the address?
Yeah, aight. To put it lightly, I'ma have a problem with that too. -
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mryounggun wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »gotta make sure you in this to win.
cant be part timing it.
you just wasnt dealt those card bruh.
everybody aint @mryounggun i still hate that ? guts for having such an understand bm. this some ?
Hate ya own guts, ? . Lol. I be tryna tell y'all ? . I didn't just slip and fall into a partner who ain't a ? . I orchestrated it that way. Before ANYTHING else, ? need to ask themselves this before having a baby with a woman:
'Is this a GOOD PERSON?'.
It ain't that difficult.
yea...we gon fight ? .
ole it aint difficult ass ?
maybe you lucked up.
how about that ? ?
? dont want to be thankful, they wanna act like they got it together. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »mryounggun wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »gotta make sure you in this to win.
cant be part timing it.
you just wasnt dealt those card bruh.
everybody aint @mryounggun i still hate that ? guts for having such an understand bm. this some ?
Hate ya own guts, ? . Lol. I be tryna tell y'all ? . I didn't just slip and fall into a partner who ain't a ? . I orchestrated it that way. Before ANYTHING else, ? need to ask themselves this before having a baby with a woman:
'Is this a GOOD PERSON?'.
It ain't that difficult.
yea...we gon fight ? .
ole it aint difficult ass ?
maybe you lucked up.
how about that ? ?
? dont want to be thankful, they wanna act like they got it together.
It's a bit of both, admittedly. But only like 25% luck, at most ? . How about THAT?!? -
i dont know where u are so forgive me if the laws in ur state are different. first child support and visitation do not go together in new jersey. just because u pay support does not mean u get visitation. i suggest going to court and have court ordered visitation. if u and her cannot work out an agreement that is the best thing to do. get a lawyer and go to court. there shouldnt be a dna test involved unless u deny ur the father or she denies ur the father. paternity is established if u both agree the lil guy is urs.
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MsSouthern wrote: »My end goal is to just see my son. I work 12hrs a day M to F so obviously full custody is a no go. She doesn't work so clearly she has more free time so im the financial provider for my kid besides her grandparents. So Pampers, wipes, clothes...etc is all me. All she gotta do is watch him. We had a verbal agreements i get him every two weeks and can come see him when ever i want. But since she started dating this new guy she been actin funny. She took our child to this man's house for a whole week without consulting me and wouldnt answer her phone so i couldnt even get in contact with her or my child and wouldnt gemme a address. Now she talkin bout her and her new ? moving to Florida and taking my son......i just want to see my son but its lookin like going to court the only way to do that which means CS and i don't want that. Cuz why pay her 300 to 400 a month to see my child when i already buy him everything he need and want anyway. Thats jst giving her free money to do watever with
wait so you don't to be the primary parent .....just not pay her support ????
Smh
And why does she have to ask permission to take your child somewhere ??? Unless the person is a threat to your child you will lose that battle
Without a court order you don't have any rights
Ay im not tryin to take our kid from her. She a ain't ? cheatin mf for sure but she a good mom. I just aint liking how she tryin to distance me from my kid. If it comes to it ill hit da courts i jst dont wanna do CS
