Let's talk about child custody for a sec...
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2stepz_ahead
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After the last few threads about men and their kids, i have a question.
it seems alot of dudes just allow the mother to call all the shots when it comes to the child and they fall back and allow it. but what would it take for you as a father to finally say i want physical custody of the child.
Physical is having the child live with you. physical and legal custody is allowing the other parent visitation while they are not able to make decisions regarding the childs life. which most guys get and are ok with.
but what would have to happen for you to go for it and why havent you gone for it up to this point?
and Ladies, why is it looked at as a bad thing when a father goes after his child? why does the mother have to be a terrible person for a man to make the decision to want his child? Or why does it have to be about not paying support, when supporting a line in child is more expensive? why can a man just want his child without it being looked at as some sort of a vindictive thing?
after reading the tyrese history....and i thought about it...
how many dude are that close to their child that they would break down like that from not seeing them after two months? how far would you go to show them and remind them that daddy is thinking about you?
ok, he shouldnt have done it on social media...we get that. but in court rooms i have seen dudes break down...see it all the time. others just be like fukk it and dont care what happens and are ok with being a 2 weekend a month dad.
and people who fathers stepped away.....how you feel about this type ? ? how did you feel when your dad stepped away? do you know the whole story or only what you are told? did you ever see it from his point of view?
lets talk about it.
it seems alot of dudes just allow the mother to call all the shots when it comes to the child and they fall back and allow it. but what would it take for you as a father to finally say i want physical custody of the child.
Physical is having the child live with you. physical and legal custody is allowing the other parent visitation while they are not able to make decisions regarding the childs life. which most guys get and are ok with.
but what would have to happen for you to go for it and why havent you gone for it up to this point?
and Ladies, why is it looked at as a bad thing when a father goes after his child? why does the mother have to be a terrible person for a man to make the decision to want his child? Or why does it have to be about not paying support, when supporting a line in child is more expensive? why can a man just want his child without it being looked at as some sort of a vindictive thing?
after reading the tyrese history....and i thought about it...
how many dude are that close to their child that they would break down like that from not seeing them after two months? how far would you go to show them and remind them that daddy is thinking about you?
ok, he shouldnt have done it on social media...we get that. but in court rooms i have seen dudes break down...see it all the time. others just be like fukk it and dont care what happens and are ok with being a 2 weekend a month dad.
and people who fathers stepped away.....how you feel about this type ? ? how did you feel when your dad stepped away? do you know the whole story or only what you are told? did you ever see it from his point of view?
lets talk about it.
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Before the early 1900's it was a given that the man ended up with sole custody of his children. He was the one with the job, he was the moral foundation of a family. This worked out just fine. Lotta kids raised by dad and turned out without issues. Mom would get to spend time with the kids but they always came home to dad.
I think nowadays a lot of dudes just look for the easy way out. Kids on the weekends, pay child support, but truthfully don't want to be bothered with their kids like that. They want to go back out clubbin, ? with random hoes, etc without the responsibility and commitment it takes to raising their kids full time. That means letting go of a lot of ? in your life and they're just not willing to do it for the sake of their kids. -
Real Talk @konceptjones kinda hit spot on in the end 4 me. I tend 2 pick stellar women with very stable and prosperous careers. With that said if push came 2 shove and we split, she can raise em. I'll be 4ever active in their lives but be honest. Who wouldn't want their cake and eat it 2? Yeah, yeah nothing like being there blah blah we know. What if it was beyond repair? Got the kids being provided for AND I still have my life? Club days R ova 4 me so it be about a new lady and doing us. I'm being honest here.
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Real Talk @konceptjones kinda hit spot on in the end 4 me. I tend 2 pick stellar women with very stable and prosperous careers. With that said if push came 2 shove and we split, she can raise em. I'll be 4ever active in their lives but be honest. Who wouldn't want their cake and eat it 2? Yeah, yeah nothing like being there blah blah we know. What if it was beyond repair? Got the kids being provided for AND I still have my life? Club days R ova 4 me so it be about a new lady and doing us. I'm being honest here.
at least you are honest....more dudes should be honest about it. -
Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.
Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.
I fought ? and stuck to my guns.
Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.
Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father. -
Rozetta5tone wrote: »Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.
Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.
I fought ? and stuck to my guns.
Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.
Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father.
GOAT and cosign and LOL.... -
...consider the choices you make people....
its a said state of affairs that this is a norm.. and the "norm" is an oddity -
I have full custody
the mom pays me child support..........that's what she prefers
it works out better for all of us especially since I make more money now
@konceptjones pretty much hit the nail on the head
these lil ? don't want to take on all the responsibility and have been conditioned that it's ok to let the mom call all the shots
then they be in threads crying about how they pay too much child support to an irresponsible baby mother
but start talking about full custody then these same lil ? are mute -
I got sole custody.....
? owes my son 3 years back child support.
I'd be damn if I let my son be raised in her chaos. -
I got sole custody a couple years ago after years of fighting. The system was an upmountain battle for me. She used every ? trick in the book and honestly at times I felt like ? it and wanted to walk away. My pops dipped on me. Left a huge void and I promised I would never put my kids through that. Met him at 25, was what it was, we dont have a relationship.
I think a lotta dudes today arent raised with a sense of responsibility due to even more fatherless homes. They grow up not seeing a man around so they dont see the problem with a man not being around. There a lotta women who tell their sons they aint good for ? too. We dont talk about the anger so many women take out on their sons when they are really mad at the father.
In the end to me, a man (woman too actually) loves his kids as much as he loves himself. They came from him. So if he doesnt love himself enough, he cant possibly love his own kids the way they deserve. -
Well.
My oldest son lives with his dad. After I had some pending felonies + prior misdemeanors, it was hard for me to get a job.
Now, although the situation in which my hand was forced was ? up, I don't regret it.
But even before he left, I never kept him from his son. In fact, quite the opposite. I don't believe in that. -
My mom never put my dad on child support (even tho she probly should have but that's another story) and it gave me a different outlook on it...especially since one of my sister's mom's put him on it.
I won't say I don't think cs is bad in and of itself, but I feel like it already starts the co-parenting game off on the wrong foot...and sets your kid up to automatically think of the non-custodial parent as a failure. -
One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.
Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.
And a woman having custody of the child is traditional. -
One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.
Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.
And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
Point 1. No, statistics, research and studies across multiple sociological and scientific areas prove that when raised in a single parent environment children raised in single father lead households fair far better than children raised in single mother lead households.
Point 2. True, because society doesn't allow men in general to benefit from being the perpetual victim. It also generally doesn't afford men the luxury of profiting off the backs of their poor decision making and lack off accountability. Men, for lack of a better term have to "man up", generally speaking.
Point 3. ? , no. Traditionally, a man's children were his property. It is due to new laws than men have been stripped of their base parental rights and status and by recent I mean the second half of the 20 century prior to that a man's legitimate children were linked to him and when the family split the children much more often than not stayed with the father. Traditionally, the only times a woman had custody of a kid was if the kid was illegitimate or she was a widow.
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Rozetta5tone wrote: »Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.
Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.
I fought ? and stuck to my guns.
Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.
Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father.
All this
I put them papers on my BM too even tho this ? moved to another state. I don’t even want her money I just wanted to prove a point.
I wouldn’t want my daughter wherever the hell she at anyway. All her family is here in Cali. She got plenty cousins and relatives to play with and my soon to be wife treat her like she her own. I’m good -
To be honest, I can't think of many kids who turned out bad being raised by single fathers but........I can think of a long list of messed up people from single mother households.One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.
Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.
And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
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Rozetta5tone wrote: »Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.
Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.
I fought ? and stuck to my guns.
Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.
Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father.
After seeing what Dwayne wade had to go through to get his children from that crazy ? I can't agree it's as simple as sticking to your guns. You need all the receipts -
Damn, this topic....again.
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One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.
Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.
And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
Boys raised by women are more likely to be ? by pimps. -
Interesting responses...
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ThaNubianGod wrote: »
To be honest, I can't think of many kids who turned out bad being raised by single fathers but........I can think of a long list of messed up people from single mother households.One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.
Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.
And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
You're right.
But without doing a google search for statistics, I think the ratio of women raising children to men raising children is probably 20 to one. -
When you say things like "go after their child " and "go take your child"
It sounds vindictive ....
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MsSouthern wrote: »When you say things like "go after their child " and "go take your child"
It sounds vindictive ....
why does it have to sound vindictive when "keeping a child away" or "pay support" doesnt?
go after their child is what any parent should do.
would you go after your child if you know i had our child smoking at 11? or talking bad about you?
why cant take your child be associated with a father wanting to give his child the best and remove them from a negative situation?
are you making this about your gender? are you only thinking about your gender?
because if you was thinking about what better for any child then you would sy the child should always be better with the parent willing to put in the work to make the child the best they can be and not stop a relationship from building with the other parent. -
5 grand is a ?
Ol 2+2= triangle ass ? -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »MsSouthern wrote: »When you say things like "go after their child " and "go take your child"
It sounds vindictive ....
why does it have to sound vindictive when "keeping a child away" or "pay support" doesnt?
go after their child is what any parent should do.
would you go after your child if you know i had our child smoking at 11? or talking bad about you?
why cant take your child be associated with a father wanting to give his child the best and remove them from a negative situation?
are you making this about your gender? are you only thinking about your gender?
because if you was thinking about what better for any child then you would sy the child should always be better with the parent willing to put in the work to make the child the best they can be and not stop a relationship from building with the other parent.
How does it sound if I was telling my girlfriend to do that?
Never once have said anything you're implying
