Do U think cheating on your S/O is tied to something lacking at home?
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y not though?
if it's that serious... y not tell her, atleast give her a heads up, or some type of motivation... ? being nice at this point, just let her know you're simply not attracted to her anymore, and you don't think she cares about her apperance, tell her she's gotten too comfortable... if you don't let her know how you really feel, i mean can you really blame her for getting that comfortable...
i know someone is suppsoed to get in shape for themselves.. but if a chick know her man is bout to start ? other chicks,if she has any respect forherself, she'll get it together.
more times than not in that situation, the woman still doesn't know what's going on, cuz the ? always beats around the bush, or instead of being honest, they just pick arguments to justify it....
? can't just say what they wanna say, so they just insult her when fussing about something random....
Because at that point, it's an ultimatum. Nobody wants to be addressed like that. Plus, it shouldn't need to be said. Personally, If I'm with a woman who lets herself slide, Ima tell her how important it is that she not do that and get back right. After I address it, she should want to do so because she knows that it's important to me that she still be appealing to me in every way. Not because she is scared I'll ? some other ? . Small difference? Yes. But still a difference. -
Money,Attetion and Sex, close thread
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it can be a factor, but the determining force in cheating is your explicit choice to do so. if you're not getting any at home it might help to justify your actions to yourself, but the mere fact that you are justifying it to yourself denotes that u know what your doing (cheating) is wrong. if your partners actions (ie withholding sex) are that bothersome to you just leave. you can never use someone else's bad/thoughtless behaviour to justify your own. i don't cheat because i'm morally and ethically against it, regardless of the circumstances, cheating imo is wrong.
You speak the truth and I say that because my ex from some years back became less attractive to me to the point where I wasn't really sexually motivated anymore. I could go to her house and not touch her. She used that as her reason for stepping out on me. I told her what the issues where and she never addressed them so she became less enticing. One of the biggest issues I had with her was her need to be the center of attention. She was one of those loud brolic woman ready to argue and make a scene. That ? was a turn off to me.. -
Cheating is wrong, but that still doesnt mean that the person is stepping out for some reason...Its hard for sometimes for them just to say ? it and leave...They have a lot invested in the relationship, sometimes they dont plan on cheating they just want a bit of excitement...The thrill of almost getting caught because they are bored...Its not the other persons fault that their spouse is cheating, however, its hard for that person also because 9 times out of 10 they still love that person and they dont know what to do...Communication is OH SO important
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playmaker88 wrote: »Cheating ... is the cheaters fault..
If you cant properly communicate your frustrations. Or are unwilling to. You can just dead the ? .. without Cheating
novel concept i know.. i been workin on it for years.
Simple as that! -
death187sin wrote: »lol.. Not that ashy ass!!
dead............ -
Depends on the chick and the situation
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it can be a factor, but the determining force in cheating is your explicit choice to do so. if you're not getting any at home it might help to justify your actions to yourself, but the mere fact that you are justifying it to yourself denotes that u know what your doing (cheating) is wrong. if your partners actions (ie withholding sex) are that bothersome to you just leave. you can never use someone else's bad/thoughtless behaviour to justify your own. i don't cheat because i'm morally and ethically against it, regardless of the circumstances, cheating imo is wrong.
This train of thought only works if the ppl in the relationship have no ties i.e. marriage, kids, property.
I've told this story in a PR thread, but what is a married man suppose to do when his wife isn't ? him? My homeboy is married, kid on the way, loves his wife, does all the clinical ? as far as communicating, romance, blah, blah, blah but his wife doesn't 'feel' comfortable having sex with her husband. How does a couple go from ? like rabbits to sexing like turtles? What is this dude suppose to do? Get a divorce all of a sudden? Sell the house? Become a Baby daddy and an Ex?
Or
Does he get a side piece and try to ride the wave out?
IDK becuz life isn't black and white all the time for all ppl. I know that cheating can lead to all that I said above but if it happens it is becuz something was lacking at home. That's were I stand on the subject -
I once read a thesis about monogamy that said having multiple sex partners is part of our evolutionary biology:
Infants have their infancy. And adults? Adultery. -
death187sin wrote: »Or is that just a lazy excuse? most of the time it is a lazy ass excuse but sometimes its valide
Is it true once a cheater always a cheater? no not true
Would you feel secure knowing the person your with now used to cheat on his ex all crazy? hmmm thats tricky cause people can change (when THEY want to) but then again once the idea is implanted in your head your gonna be worried about it for a loooooong time
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ehh, it could be ANY reason as to why mofos cheat. can't really say it's just one thing.
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Mr. Terrific wrote: »This train of thought only works if the ppl in the relationship have no ties i.e. marriage, kids, property.
I've told this story in a PR thread, but what is a married man suppose to do when his wife isn't ? him? My homeboy is married, kid on the way, loves his wife, does all the clinical ? as far as communicating, romance, blah, blah, blah but his wife doesn't 'feel' comfortable having sex with her husband. How does a couple go from ? like rabbits to sexing like turtles? What is this dude suppose to do? Get a divorce all of a sudden? Sell the house? Become a Baby daddy and an Ex?
Or
Does he get a side piece and try to ride the wave out?
IDK becuz life isn't black and white all the time for all ppl. I know that cheating can lead to all that I said above but if it happens it is becuz something was lacking at home. That's were I stand on the subject
As far as I'm concerned, it's on his woman at that point, if he's done all the work and effort in trying to get things right. I need to hear concrete reasons as to why she's not "comfortable" sexing her man, especially if it didn't seem to be an issue before. I really and truly think that, all things being equal, if a ? has things going good at home, wife holding him down emotionally and physically, 9 times out of 10, he's not going to look to step out. If his woman isn't willing to see how important these things are to him and show that she's willing to address them, then in my book, that would lead to someone getting stepped out on. Not condoning it, just saying. -
cheating is never purely physical...
basically.. this is what most people dont understand.
if she got feelings for another dude.. thats cheating.
if she goes out with another dude behind her dude back.. thats cheating.
shes accepting gifts from somebody that she knows likes her, so its a gift on a romantic level.. thats cheating.
phone conversations talking about inappropriate things.. thats cheating.
and the list goes on... -
thats just some more scientific shid meant to pull society from ? 's word.I once read a thesis about monogamy that said having multiple sex partners is part of our evolutionary biology:
Infants have their infancy. And adults? Adultery. -
Mr. Terrific wrote: »This train of thought only works if the ppl in the relationship have no ties i.e. marriage, kids, property.
I've told this story in a PR thread, but what is a married man suppose to do when his wife isn't ? him? My homeboy is married, kid on the way, loves his wife, does all the clinical ? as far as communicating, romance, blah, blah, blah but his wife doesn't 'feel' comfortable having sex with her husband. How does a couple go from ? like rabbits to sexing like turtles? What is this dude suppose to do? Get a divorce all of a sudden? Sell the house? Become a Baby daddy and an Ex?
Or
Does he get a side piece and try to ride the wave out?
IDK becuz life isn't black and white all the time for all ppl. I know that cheating can lead to all that I said above but if it happens it is becuz something was lacking at home. That's were I stand on the subjecti mean if the husband addresses the issue and she is unwilling to listen and/or change, why would you want to ride it out or stay. all anyone can do is make their feelings, wants and needs known, and if your partner is absolutely unwilling to compromise or meet those things, it might be time to call it a wrap. in the situation you described above, i can totally understand how that might open the door to cheating being a possibility, but deep down that individual is/would be cheating because they are totally unhappy/dissatisfied with many aspects of their home life. other than giving your partner some patience and time to change/correct the issues, there's not much you can do. if she is not willing to understand the problem that withholding sex creates, she's not going to stop. so where is he left? to just stay and constantly cheat? that's a much worse alternative imo than just getting a divorce.
my whole thing is, my actions and behaviour are mine alone. if something is wrong to me, the circumstances will never change the ethics of said action. wrong is wrong and can never be made right. justifications may make it easier to understand why someone did something, but it doesn't change the fact that it's still wrong imo.
I saw a serious disconnect at the bolded in these posts
that's why I have a hard time taking someone seriously who has never been in those shoes
it's almost like asking a ? about what ? feels like
everybody has their own opinion based on their own experiences...............but sometimes experiences are lacking to be able to give the proper insight needed -
IMO, it seems like the honeymoon period is over. I'm not saying this because dude is my boy but he REALLY is a good dude. When we go out we somehow find our way in situations with women and he stays on his Jackie Chan for the love of his wife. We are his boys so you know we not telling but this dude stays strong. This cat loves his wife. What can you say to that? At the same time though, his ? needing level is rising and the wifey isn't willing to do anything about it. Some ppl change after marriage. How do you foresee some ? like that? Honestly he reminds me of me when I was married. I wanted to be that black man that women dreamed of. Career, provide a home, stay in shape, listen and love her, and be there for her. IDK, ? gets taken for granted. I'm not woman bashing, but I was in love and up and one day saying "? this, I want out" is not easy to do. Then you don't want to be that ? that left becuz of "sex" becuz that sounds petty. In reality though it is true.
My mom once said ppl get divorced for 3 reasons: Money, Sex, Kids.
Damn if she wasn't right! -
Mr. Terrific wrote: »IMO, it seems like the honeymoon period is over. I'm not saying this because dude is my boy but he REALLY is a good dude. When we go out we somehow find our way in situations with women and he stays on his Jackie Chan for the love of his wife. We are his boys so you know we not telling but this dude stays strong. This cat loves his wife. What can you say to that? At the same time though, his ? needing level is rising and the wifey isn't willing to do anything about it. Some ppl change after marriage. How do you foresee some ? like that? Honestly he reminds me of me when I was married. I wanted to be that black man that women dreamed of. Career, provide a home, stay in shape, listen and love her, and be there for her. IDK, ? gets taken for granted. I'm not woman bashing, but I was in love and up and one day saying "? this, I want out" is not easy to do. Then you don't want to be that ? that left becuz of "sex" becuz that sounds petty. In reality though it is true.
My mom once said ppl get divorced for 3 reasons: Money, Sex, Kids.
Damn if she wasn't right!
I agree every time I was in a good relationship with a "good women" I always cheated because of sex. Not sayin the sex wasnt given but I get bored and once the Allure is gone I be wanting that feeling again guess its hard to explain but its the truth. -
basically.. this is what most people dont understand.
if she got feelings for another dude.. thats cheating.
if she goes out with another dude behind her dude back.. thats cheating.
shes accepting gifts from somebody that she knows likes her, so its a gift on a romantic level.. thats cheating.
phone conversations talking about inappropriate things.. thats cheating.
and the list goes on...
So flirting is cheating? -
No, not necessarily.
The flesh is weak, that doesn't have anything to do with home. -
You will get tired of ? the same ? or the same ? ....It's a part of natural.
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theres really no good excuse to cheat
if youre a cheater just admit you cant just be with one person
