So the baby daddy decided to pop up..
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Kat
Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
I'm on the bus headed home yesterday and I get a text from the baby daddy out of nowhere.
A little back story..I haven't heard from him in about a year and a half but he has been out of the picture for much longer, his daughter does not know him, he basically tapped out completely when I told him me and the BF were moving in together.
So he's making small talk..how are you, how have things been, I'm downtown do you want to meet at Subway, etc...
I told him I was headed home to pick up the kiddo and he asks if me and HIS daughter can meet him at a Subway closer to my house. Not sure what the infatution with Subway was..maybe he had a gift card or something.
I told him we were already home and basically avoided, but he's popped up again today.
I don't even know how to handle this..what does he want? And why would he think that I want to pop in with MY daughter that doesn't even know who he is..like hey babe, this is your daddy..would you like a small sub?
Plus there is the whole bf thing, which could also lead to trouble. I did let him know that I was getting texts so any future conversations won't come as a suprise.
What say you? If an absentee parent popped up out of the blue, how would you deal?
Save the sermons, yes it's pretty obvious it's not an ideal situation but it is what it is and now we're here.
? 's got me kinda stressed.
A little back story..I haven't heard from him in about a year and a half but he has been out of the picture for much longer, his daughter does not know him, he basically tapped out completely when I told him me and the BF were moving in together.
So he's making small talk..how are you, how have things been, I'm downtown do you want to meet at Subway, etc...
I told him I was headed home to pick up the kiddo and he asks if me and HIS daughter can meet him at a Subway closer to my house. Not sure what the infatution with Subway was..maybe he had a gift card or something.
I told him we were already home and basically avoided, but he's popped up again today.
I don't even know how to handle this..what does he want? And why would he think that I want to pop in with MY daughter that doesn't even know who he is..like hey babe, this is your daddy..would you like a small sub?
Plus there is the whole bf thing, which could also lead to trouble. I did let him know that I was getting texts so any future conversations won't come as a suprise.
What say you? If an absentee parent popped up out of the blue, how would you deal?
Save the sermons, yes it's pretty obvious it's not an ideal situation but it is what it is and now we're here.
? 's got me kinda stressed.
Comments
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He want some ex-? hook him up. yall had a kid together so it ain't like he new to dat ass. for old time sake.
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Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ? -
That's nothing to be stressed over, just talk to him and see what he wants.
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i know kat
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He want that ?
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idk, introduce that girl to her daddy.
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but seriously, one of my best friends has pretty much the exact same situation with her daughter, and i tell her all the time, there really isn't a "right' way to handle this....
it's pretty much all your decision...and as your daughter gets older she'll have to come to grips with it.....
my only advice is which ever path you take.... go hard with it, don't ? and change up here n there..... -
Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ?
She has met him, but she has not seen him since she's been of an age where she might understand who he is..
I'm worried because why stir all this up just to be out again?
Why mess up what we got going and confuse her when I know it's most likely temporary?
I always want him to have access to his daughter which is why he has my number, but I'm worried for her.
He seems to be oblivious to all that. -
proceed with caution but with an open mind.
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I mean im speaking from strictly a logical and moral understanding. It is his daughter. But he hasn't been there. He asked YOU first did you want to meet. Then you declined ad he asked about his daughter. I think he is trying to guilt trip you into brining her around so he can see you. If it was all about him seeing his daughter, he would have asked about her first or just asked could he come get her. He trying to get that kitty Kat. (pun intended)
But because he hasn't been around, maybe that's what he wanted to talk about. maybe he wanted to go it in person to let you know hr wants to ge back in her life. But idk. You need to talk to him AND your man to prevent any suspicion. Keep him in the loop. But he may be trying to do whats right. But probably not. The only way to find out is to talk. -
don't keep brother from his daughter white girl
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First of it would probably be better off you shared this with someone you are close to.
This is the IC so someone will find the humor in this.
Giving you my honest opinion if the man wants to see his child let him see her.
Maybe you can supervise his visits but at the end of the day the child is his just as much as she's yours.
Yes he might be a deadbeat and not ? but there might come a time in your little girl's life were she needs her father don't deny her that opportunity of knowing him just because you don't particular care for him.
At the end of the day if his character is that flawed the relationship between him and his child will take care of itself; kids aren't crazy they know who provides for them.
As for as Tar he needs to just be a man and respect the situation.
If your lady has a child by another man it doesn't matter that y'all are in a serious relationship that man still has an obligation to see his child and if Tar is the man you say he is he will respect that situation.
I wouldn't get my draws in a bunch if I were you the situation will probably take care of itself. -
You're such a bird, Kat.
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I'm on the bus headed home yesterday and I get a text from the baby daddy out of nowhere.
A little back story..I haven't heard from him in about a year and a half but he has been out of the picture for much longer, his daughter does not know him, he basically tapped out completely when I told him me and the BF were moving in together.
So he's making small talk..how are you, how have things been, I'm downtown do you want to meet at Subway, etc...
I told him I was headed home to pick up the kiddo and he asks if me and HIS daughter can meet him at a Subway closer to my house. Not sure what the infatution with Subway was..maybe he had a gift card or something.
I told him we were already home and basically avoided, but he's popped up again today.
I don't even know how to handle this..what does he want? And why would he think that I want to pop in with MY daughter that doesn't even know who he is..like hey babe, this is your daddy..would you like a small sub?
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I'm very curious about the Subway angle.
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obnoxiouslyfresh wrote: »I'm very curious about the Subway angle.
lmao..right? I got the second text about Subway I'm like you working there now? You got an employee discount or what?
@mann - I don't need to, he's done an excellent job at doing that all by himself. -
yo, this sound crazy, and it might sound like you power tripping, but put that ? on probation yo....
monitor his activities......make sure he's consistent......if he's really at a place in his life where he can be consistently active..then let him see shorty...
but if he start geeking, or look at you like you crazy... then dismiss the ? ....
i mean, i would hate to be put through hoops... but if i really wanted to see my child...i'd jump through them -
Kat, only thing he brings is baggage and you don't need that. If he's gone a year n half with no contact with you or his daughter, let him be. He's just a sperm donor.
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Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ?
She has met him, but she has not seen him since she's been of an age where she might understand who he is..
I'm worried because why stir all this up just to be out again?
Why mess up what we got going and confuse her when I know it's most likely temporary?
I always want him to have access to his daughter which is why he has my number, but I'm worried for her.
He seems to be oblivious to all that.
Does he call to speak to her - or it's just y'all that talk ?
Maybe he truly wants to get to know her now. -
could be one of his peeps advised him he better make good with you
before them child support papers come in the mail :-? -
Sound like he trying to make a withdrawal on the ?
I mean, technically he'll always have an account in your bank -
Kat, only thing he brings is baggage and you don't need that. If he's gone a year n half with no contact with you or his daughter, let him be. He's just a sperm donor.
This and does he pay child support and do you have any legal agreement?
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yo, this sound crazy, and it might sound like you power tripping, but put that ? on probation yo....
monitor his activities......make sure he's consistent......if he's really at a place in his life where he can be consistently active..then let him see shorty...
but if he start geeking, or look at you like you crazy... then dismiss the ? ....
i mean, i would hate to be put through hoops... but if i really wanted to see my child...i'd jump through them
Right.
He aint.been around for all those years and now wanna get involved. Nah you gotta show u are serious about this cuz she doesn't deserve that type of instability. With ever decision you make in regards to this situation make sure it has het best interest in mind, regardless of how it makes the others involved feel. He deserves the opportunity to see her. But like du said, he aint been there, he gotta earn it now. Make sure.tou explain to him that its not outr of spite, but to protect her feelings.
