scumbag!

Cain wrote: »

blakfyahking wrote: »

so heres where ? gets ugly........I had gotten stationed overseas myself, and then I came back to the states at a new duty station.....at my new duty station a ? had to in-process and get ready to go to Iraq.......ended up meeting some other ? from DC who came from europe, we end up having to in-process together

me and this ? eventually become cool, we scheming on ? off base and all sorts of ? before we deploy

then one day this ? starts telling me about these two broads him and his old unit in germany used to smash....talking about ? was having regular ? and ?

he described one of the chicks, and of course in my heart I knew immediately who it was

? wasn't too bad cause I had already figured she was smutting out there........meanwhile me and this ? cool so of course ? regularly tell stories about brawds they smashed

how bout me and this ? end up in different units, but we end up doing a joint op while in Iraq that lasted about 5 days......while we resting this ? starts talking about this chick again

now he doesn't know at this point that I knew this ? to the point of having old feelings, so this ? gets extra descriptive talking about how this brawd sucked his whole squad ? and let even her E7 ? her IN FRONT OF OTHER ? in the barracks back in germany..........meanwhile I'm sitting there listening to this ? with a loaded weapon in my hands while he tells me about how my old ? used to drink his skeet on the regular.......a ? was heated

? told me about 5 different descriptive stories that made me look at the world differently afterwards.......? even said the Army Chaplain in their unit even smashed this ? ........in my mind I'm like gawddayum that ? supposed to be a preacher..........I could only imagine what was going on before I came to visit that ?

and that is just one example of many why you can't take these Army hoes seriously bruh

Man sheesh........I know your soul ran out of your body faster than Red from Friday

? can't even contemplate what it's like to know an Army pastor even smashed yo ?

I cringe when I think I almost got that brawd pregnant at one point SMH

So I have a friend in a fraternity in college. He's a Kappa and gets ? off his letters alone. I peeped a lot of game from this ? James and I can honestly say he's one of my best friends. Thats my brother from another mother and he's my ? if he don't get no bigger.
Now let's get to the ethering.

Now... I'm in the cafeteria eating lunch with some of our mutual lady friends. These 3 females lean over to me and say, "we want to have an orgy."





I say, ".......word?"
"Yeah do you think James would be down?"


VROOOM.....
..... SSKKKKKEEERRRRRR!!!!!

I Pulled up to James dorm so quick. I reached in his condom drawer and grabbed a handful and put it in my pocket. I threw a handful on his bed and said, "Get dressed ? , we on a mission!!"

We went to Walmart. We both bought a book bag, and some travel sized toothpaste and soap. Got back to my dorm room to prep, and even watched a quick porno with old-school Kapri Styles because one of these ? had a flat chest and a ass so fat... I swear to gawd I was so amped I did like 30 pushups.

We pulled up to the location where them hoes said they would be at. I look at the porch and there is a few ? from James's fraternity...... So as I walk towards the door with my bookbag, everybody's looking at me with the what the hell is he doing here face. One of the girls stops me, with her hand out in a 'you shall not pass' motion.

She said "wait Irah...
You thought...
this WHOLE time...
that we were gonna have an orgy....

with you?

















I died that night.

You got denied by entry into an orgy that you coproduced? Damn, that's bad luck.

geechee slim wrote: »

So I have a friend in a fraternity in college. He's a Kappa and gets ? off his letters alone. I peeped a lot of game from this ? James and I can honestly say he's one of my best friends. Thats my brother from another mother and he's my ? if he don't get no bigger.
Now let's get to the ethering.

Now... I'm in the cafeteria eating lunch with some of our mutual lady friends. These 3 females lean over to me and say, "we want to have an orgy."





I say, ".......word?"
"Yeah do you think James would be down?"


VROOOM.....
..... SSKKKKKEEERRRRRR!!!!!

I Pulled up to James dorm so quick. I reached in his condom drawer and grabbed a handful and put it in my pocket. I threw a handful on his bed and said, "Get dressed ? , we on a mission!!"

We went to Walmart. We both bought a book bag, and some travel sized toothpaste and soap. Got back to my dorm room to prep, and even watched a quick porno with old-school Kapri Styles because one of these ? had a flat chest and a ass so fat... I swear to gawd I was so amped I did like 30 pushups.

We pulled up to the location where them hoes said they would be at. I look at the porch and there is a few ? from James's fraternity...... So as I walk towards the door with my bookbag, everybody's looking at me with the what the hell is he doing here face. One of the girls stops me, with her hand out in a 'you shall not pass' motion.

She said "wait Irah...
You thought...
this WHOLE time...
that we were gonna have an orgy....

with you?

















I died that night.

Damn she hit you with

geechee slim wrote: »

military wives ain't s***. I had this one lady friend who went on to join the army. She came back out the blue, and was reaching out to me. I found this odd because we had a bad breakup. A few bad breakups.
we hang out with some neutral friends. I had a feeling something was wrong. She told me she was pregnant. she was not in love with the guy.

We had sex... in her truck. Technically his truck.

Days go by and one day she texts me and says, "I'm about to call you on three way with my hubby on mute, so deny everything! "

I still ? it up. The convo was basically" we shouldn't have been fooling around." I said, "I shoulda never hopped in your truck." Outta nowhere I hear,

"YOU HAD THAT NERD ? IN MY ? TRUCK?!?"

*10 second silence.

You said yall only talked! This ? was in my car?!? ... oh I'm ? BOTH yall up

Well hol on m'man, it's not what you---

YOU need to shut the ? up Urkle! I did two tours out there fighting for you mother ? . I'll put a bullet in all four of yo eyes ? . Im on Facebook, I know what you look like!

Then i hear, "Irah, I'm so disappointed in you."

? had MY girlfriend on 3-way too. Women are ? up. She calls me the next day like, "well i guess we're both single.....?"

I been ducking Army Boy for 8 years.

Lolol so tha ? geechie be on his kramer ? if he ever encounter homie smh

Can I address erectile dysfunction? Or rather erectile mythfunction. Fellas know, you can be in the mood and then something so unsexy happens that there is no way you can get your little soldier at full attention again.

So I guess most fellas know when a girl is out of his league. I have this one broad who I thought was a nerd, but she turned out to be a "hipster." I got scouted by this evil gold digger ? who only loved pasta and ? .

Again, I'm not a hipster. I'm a real nerd. I don't just look like I can fix your computer, I'll actually do that ? . But she thought I was being fashionable. she told me that I could hit as long as I dress like a ? Pharrell Williams or Tyler the Creator.


SKKKKEEEERRRRRRR!!
I hit Journeys and TJ Maxx so quick. Before you knew it, I look like I was going to do a power ballad with Elton John.






So on our third date (cuz I'm a gentleman) we had a good time, had wine. Dinner was perfect! Now she wants to come back to the house!


I'm Pharrell-happy

My roommate has his nieces and nephews over, all between the ages of 6 and 13. I don't give a ? . Now remember when I said she's a hipster? She's had a lot of white boyfriends and she isn't used to that negroid ? . No ? ..... moving on.

Time passes and she says she wants a round two. my stomach is empty and I'm working on a headache, so I say hold on let me get this pizza right quick. I came back and wasn't even fully regrouped. she wanted that ? immediately.

And here's where things get sticky.... lol

Now we're back in the bedroom getting hot and heavy. So hot, that the previous moisture secreted in her walls have now become dry. She said
go get some ? .
I don't have any ? .
Why don't you have any ? ?
Cuz I ain't no freak like you!

*awkward silence.

You'd better put that ? in me before I change my mind.

I look down to my ? and I can not get hard for nothing. The woman of my dreams, naked right in front of me itching for the D. And amidst all this frustration, ? totally threw my concentration off. She look at the D, then she looked at me.

There was an awkward silence, a deep exhale, followed by "you can take me home now."

Pico wrote: »

? it. Imma post my l.
Live and learn ? .

So I was chillin at my then fiancé at the time barracks. So he's like "bae call a cab lets hit the movies" so I'm like cool lemme so that. Barracks had bad reception so I had to use a free text/call app. So I download one he already using (one he used in Afghanistan so I wasn't trippin) and I see some ? from some random ? named kelly. It was already a text thread in the ? takin bout "I love you". "Can't wait to see you" so I'm like wtf.... So I hit the ? on some "hey I'm not trying to come for you crazy boo but uh why you textin my BF" a minute later she like "is this Anjuli, tall mixed thang" I'm like wtf yea. So she send me a whole paragraph on some "yeah I know who you are, ya man got me pregnant but he said yall ain't together like that no more so I didn't worry bout that but he made me get an abortion before he deployed but we're trying to make a baby again " bruh I'm not gone lie I was hurt cause right before he deployed he bought me like $8,000 worth of jewelry on some "random" ? but hindsight it was a "i ? up " gift

So I call him up "aye come to my room I gotta talk to you" he come and I confront him. ? says "so? Mind your business" I flip TF out. Breaking every damn thing in that room, buss his ass with a Hennessy bottle then the MP's (he was my friend from basic) was like look just leave b I got you.

I leave mad AF in my feelings. Never hit him up again.
? hit me up not too long ago on some "Finna get kicked out the military" ? . My petty ass was too happy.


I took my L tho and moved on b.

Again, I'm not a hipster. I'm a real nerd. I don't just look like I can fix your computer, I'll actually do that ? .


^^^^ For some reason this part had me crying LMAO. Dude sounds like your average rapper. I really do this SOn! I be in the streets! Yall think this is a game?

*dead*