..."First Time" stories.
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MontyM.Max wrote: »MontyM.Max wrote: »I had just turned 13, lil ? called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 ? on the porch muggin. One of them ? is this ? pops giving me the look of a ? that know his daughter bout to get ? within the hr. I get to the ? room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got ? , head, and ? for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a ? backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this ? ass. Lmao. Had the ? whole ? on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a ? ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.
How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?
Sounds like you ? an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her ? daddy.
You might be the dumbest ? on the Internet.
I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 ? , 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid. -
MontyM.Max wrote: »MontyM.Max wrote: »I had just turned 13, lil ? called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 ? on the porch muggin. One of them ? is this ? pops giving me the look of a ? that know his daughter bout to get ? within the hr. I get to the ? room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got ? , head, and ? for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a ? backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this ? ass. Lmao. Had the ? whole ? on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a ? ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.
So much wrong with this story.
How is the pops mean muggin you on the porch......but still lets you in the house to smash his daughter?
Then threatens you while smoking a J at the bus stop.
Why would he even allow any of that to happen?
Was there anybody else inside the house while all this was going on?
Seems like the whole attitude of that household was:
"Well, we already know she's a ? , so......might as well let her ? in the house where we can keep an eye on her."
Pops probably sitting there like...........
"Kinda ? up, but it makes sense to me."
Sad and hilarious on multiple levels.
^^^^^This is accurate
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MontyM.Max wrote: »MontyM.Max wrote: »I had just turned 13, lil ? called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 ? on the porch muggin. One of them ? is this ? pops giving me the look of a ? that know his daughter bout to get ? within the hr. I get to the ? room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got ? , head, and ? for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a ? backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this ? ass. Lmao. Had the ? whole ? on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a ? ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.
How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?
Sounds like you ? an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her ? daddy.
You might be the dumbest ? on the Internet.
I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 ? , 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.
Naw he ain't pay
The story ain't even real ? lil boy -
MontyM.Max wrote: »MontyM.Max wrote: »I had just turned 13, lil ? called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 ? on the porch muggin. One of them ? is this ? pops giving me the look of a ? that know his daughter bout to get ? within the hr. I get to the ? room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got ? , head, and ? for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a ? backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this ? ass. Lmao. Had the ? whole ? on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a ? ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.
How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?
Sounds like you ? an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her ? daddy.
You might be the dumbest ? on the Internet.
I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 ? , 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.
Naw he ain't pay
The story ain't even real ? lil boy
Thanks for the clarification, you ? ? ? . Since we're resorting to name calling and all. -
MontyM.Max wrote: »MontyM.Max wrote: »I had just turned 13, lil ? called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 ? on the porch muggin. One of them ? is this ? pops giving me the look of a ? that know his daughter bout to get ? within the hr. I get to the ? room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got ? , head, and ? for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a ? backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this ? ass. Lmao. Had the ? whole ? on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a ? ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.
How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?
Sounds like you ? an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her ? daddy.
You might be the dumbest ? on the Internet.
I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 ? , 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.
Naw he ain't pay
The story ain't even real ? lil boy
Thanks for the clarification, you ? ? ? . Since we're resorting to name calling and all.
You should thank me for helping you see things clearly
Take off yo ? ? glasses so you can see right -
MontyM.Max wrote: »MontyM.Max wrote: »I had just turned 13, lil ? called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 ? on the porch muggin. One of them ? is this ? pops giving me the look of a ? that know his daughter bout to get ? within the hr. I get to the ? room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got ? , head, and ? for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a ? backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this ? ass. Lmao. Had the ? whole ? on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a ? ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.
How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?
Sounds like you ? an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her ? daddy.
You might be the dumbest ? on the Internet.
I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 ? , 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.
Naw he ain't pay
The story ain't even real ? lil boy
Thanks for the clarification, you ? ? ? . Since we're resorting to name calling and all.
You should thank me for helping you see things clearly
Take off yo ? ? glasses so you can see right
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? was in the 80's I been forgot about it.....maybe 90
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16 years old, she and I both virgins in the backseat of my mother's J30 T infiniti in the movie theatre parking lot after seeing some movie. CAn't even remember which movie. I remember it raining and I remember the next day my mother asking me why a condom wrapper was in her backseat window.
She and my dad then threatened to call the girl's parents and went crazy. I didn't care. Nothing could take me off my high and sense of accomplishment -
Goat thread
? it here we go....
18, she 17 but both seniors in high school, Wednesday at high school is a self directed study day, so no classes maybe a lecture but that day was nothing. So I decide to smash at my crib, her folks hated my guts
So we driving home and she starts giving me hand (I'm thinking ? , she want me to make it to the bed or nah?) anyways rock up to my crib and my moms is home sleeping, She finished night shift the night before!
So I creep in the house, she hears me and wakes up to check what's up, I said I'm just grabbing books I forgot, she goes back to sleep.
My ? still outside so I take her in, we get to freaking and eventually smash. After she cleans up, I didn't take notice the towel was black?! Maaannnn my moms was doing washing later, I was running round like Ray Leotta from goodfellas tryna find that towel, she already scooped it. She ain't speak to me for like the next 2 months LOL -
1st time?
Sophomore year in high school. I met this white girl. She was going to my family church. Living in a foster home. Ended up popping up at my high school after being transferred to a group home. She had a lisp. Not the best looking. First girl I came across that was with it from the jump. Went into the girls bathroom at the school. Slapped on the jimmy I been holding onto for at least a year. Sat on the toilet. She straddled me and rode the ? outta me. That first bust was a beast. I just closed my eyes and held on for dear life. -
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Judge_Judah wrote: »Man if you dont get this marques houston my very first time a** thread up outta here....
Lmao yoooooooooo! -
First received message telepathically.......,
I knew most Dan read thoughts... But YAH! First time I RECEIVED one telepatcgically -
The first time we were about 18/19 and I had just got my first car a Honda Civic so I'm smashing to this Mexican chick house one night, big hoe, most of the homies already smashed plus ? from the other side of town too so I know this gon be easy...we in front of her house fooling around in the car she gets nervous her parents might come out and see us so I drive to the park...continue what we were doing then 2 cars full of ? pull up and 2 of the ? know her smh anyway we leave the park then go to my house. We in my driveway she hop in the backseat and start undressing, I start sucking her ? then pulled my ? out, she gon say "I don't give head"....we arguing for a min I'm like you not that pretty for me to get instantly hard just by looking at you so you gon suck some ? today....she didn't, she started jacking me off instead, now I'm semi hard and irritated, I tell her to stop and start riding me...we going for like 40 seconds but I couldn't keep an ? so I pushed her off me, pulled my pants up while cursing her out for not sucking my ? then took her back home. I was mad she lied about not giving head the homies already told me beforehand she does so I'm like wtf lol
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The last few of yall were 18 and never had ? ... i couldn't imagine going through senior year a ?
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Tsotsi Cape Town wrote: »Goat thread
? it here we go....
18, she 17 but both seniors in high school, Wednesday at high school is a self directed study day, so no classes maybe a lecture but that day was nothing. So I decide to smash at my crib, her folks hated my guts
So we driving home and she starts giving me hand (I'm thinking ? , she want me to make it to the bed or nah?) anyways rock up to my crib and my moms is home sleeping, She finished night shift the night before!
So I creep in the house, she hears me and wakes up to check what's up, I said I'm just grabbing books I forgot, she goes back to sleep.
My ? still outside so I take her in, we get to freaking and eventually smash. After she cleans up, I didn't take notice the towel was black?! Maaannnn my moms was doing washing later, I was running round like Ray Leotta from goodfellas tryna find that towel, she already scooped it. She ain't speak to me for like the next 2 months LOL
18? And getting hand? Not even a ? ? ? Thats a sad story man.. -
The last few of yall were 18 and never had ? ... i couldn't imagine going through senior year a ?
? I was 20..
Freshman year in college was like a awkward comedy... I was as bumbling as dude from American pie -
Tsotsi Cape Town wrote: »Goat thread
? it here we go....
18, she 17 but both seniors in high school, Wednesday at high school is a self directed study day, so no classes maybe a lecture but that day was nothing. So I decide to smash at my crib, her folks hated my guts
So we driving home and she starts giving me hand (I'm thinking ? , she want me to make it to the bed or nah?) anyways rock up to my crib and my moms is home sleeping, She finished night shift the night before!
So I creep in the house, she hears me and wakes up to check what's up, I said I'm just grabbing books I forgot, she goes back to sleep.
My ? still outside so I take her in, we get to freaking and eventually smash. After she cleans up, I didn't take notice the towel was black?! Maaannnn my moms was doing washing later, I was running round like Ray Leotta from goodfellas tryna find that towel, she already scooped it. She ain't speak to me for like the next 2 months LOL
18? And getting hand? Not even a ? ? ? Thats a sad story man..
Got that ? in the crib fam, that other ? was while I was driving home -
I was home from college at the time
The ncaa championship for football on (don't remember who was playing)
Had a couple homies and female friends to chill kick it get our sip on ? or w/e
My ex from HS wanted to reconnect
So we did and I had seen the big lebowski so I was on the White Russian drink heavy made a couple for the peeps falling thru.
Me and home girl slide up to my room
I smashed the joint twice thought it would be on some special 1st time ? but it wasn't quite like that. It good tho to get up in it I enjoyed that ? Llz shortly after came back down stairs after what felt like 30 min apparently had been there the whole game (we didn't know tho). Went back down stairs with younging everybody got that look on they face like damn ?
You was up there for minute so we sit down and everybody like we bout to roll I'm like where errybody going Llz they was like dawg you was up there for like 2 hours the game is over
So ever since that day they been calling me the ironman I thought that ? was funny
But the dope bop is what ol girl gave to me the day before and it was most incredible Llz but smashing the joint was str8 we ? around for the next 6 months after that we called it quits but it was str8 when I was in it -
I WAS TRYIN TO PUSH SOFT ? IN HER BUT NOTHING WOULD WORK... SO AFTER A WHILE, SHE LEFT..
SOON AS THAT BEESH LEAVE, MY ? GET ROCK HARD.. SO I JUST STARTED JACKIN OFF!
I WAS SOOO USED TO PORN AND JACKIN OFF, THAT WHEN IT WAS FINALLY TIME, I COULDNT PERFORM..
That's called P.I.E.D., Porn-Induced Erectile Disfunction and it's a real thing. -
So I was on vacation in Virginia during summer time. It was me (16), my little cousin Troy (7), and my Aunt. She wanted me to babysit him while she's at work for like 2 months in a three story townhouse in a swank neighborhood. My first time in the neighborhood, me and Troy walk straight to the neighborhood playground directly in front of my aunt's townhouse.
Troy is driving around his little remote race car and the ice cream truck pulls up. We walk over there and it's this real cute looking girl and her little sister. I NEVER learned how to talk to girls back then, but she said hi to me. Days later, Troy is playing with her little sister, so me and the big sister were chilling. I don't even remember her name. She was 18 going to the 12th grade (she would turn 19 when she graduates). She was light skinned, frilly hair, descent body. My aunt never knew she would come to the house frequently.
So we're in my room looking at my year book. She asked me which girl I liked, and I pointed out my crush. She said, "Imma teach you something" and she just kissed me. After 2 seconds of kissing, I looked up in the air and laughed because I didn't know she liked me. I wasn't attracted to her until then...Physically. She sat on my lap in front of me, lifts a shirt and put her entire tittie in my mouth dawg. So I'm laying back with the left ? , eyes closed, circling around the areolas. She said, "aren't you gonna suck it?" My ? thought only babies suck ? but hey, that was my first time. She grabbed my hands and put it on her ass, and I stuck my hand in her pants and rubbed the ? from the back. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. Soon as I rubbed it, I pre-nut. NO STROKES AT ALL and I already felt drips.
I know y'all probably laughin with real tears now so Imma let it breathe....
OK, so she pulls her pants down, grabs a condom out her pants, and walks towards me with nothing but a bra and sox. Good thing precum is clear because SHE PUT THE CONDOM ON WITH HER MOUTH. I got like 10 strokes and I had a complete muscle spazz. I felt like I was in another world.
Best nut EVER, but I didn't even know it was nut. I didn't understand the "whole entire" process of sex, but I'm still in it. Not even 4 minutes passed and I heard the rumble of my aunt's car pulling up.
We put on our clothes sloppy as ? , no belts. My aunt opens the door without knocking. I'm froze with my hand under the bed (I was looking for a belt). I introduced my aunt to ol girl. Then I grab my glasses off the bed (dead giveaway). My aunt just looks at me with a smirk. She must've known what we were doing but then she says "Where's Troy?"
OH ? !!! Troy was outside in the backyard with a boombox just dancing with his shirt off for ? knows how long.
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OH ? !!! Troy was outside in the backyard with a boombox just dancing with his shirt off for ? knows how long.
Dead -
Troy out there just
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Ok, I was 16 and my girl at the time was 17. Cool light skin chick with some nice puffy lips and bubble ass. I won't front, she was boarder line butter face but as a ? standards ain't that damn high. We had a false start. She at my crib and we were heading to my room. I picked her up and without thinking made her bust her head on the light cover from the ceiling fan! ? broke, her ? damn near broke, nothin I could do.
About a week later I convinced her to come to the house late Saturday night while my mom went out and my sister (who was 6 at the time) was sleep in her room. Laid her on the couch, and with my SERVERE lack of oral skills ate her out. Apparently she didn't know the difference yet cuz she liked the ? . We rolled to my room and I banged her out raw on my noisy ass twin bed I had. But before I could even nut out the corner of my eye the door nudged open and it was my ? sister!
We were under the covers and the lights were off so she didn't see. She did start crying tho so i had to quickly dead that and put her back to bed. I doubt she remembers it seeing that she never mentioned it but who the ? knows. Homegirl rode me till I nutted and it was a rap. She had me like this..
[img]http://felipeandrade.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/scary-movie-? -blast-o.gif[/img]
Couldn't get rid of the smile on my face for weeks. Had a pregnancy scare not long after and we broke up right when we found that she wasn't. I was lucky cuz she ended up popin out a few kids there after. -
LMAO@ lack of oral skills but she didn't know the difference.