So the baby daddy decided to pop up..
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Is it more about him seeing her or her seeing him?
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Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ?
She has met him, but she has not seen him since she's been of an age where she might understand who he is..
I'm worried because why stir all this up just to be out again?
Why mess up what we got going and confuse her when I know it's most likely temporary?
I always want him to have access to his daughter which is why he has my number, but I'm worried for her.
He seems to be oblivious to all that.
It's understandable you're worried for her but part of allowing her to get to know her father is taking that risk of him leaving again. There's really no way around it. You can't develop a relationship with someone, friend, parent, other w/o risking being hurt. It's just unfortunately the hurt in this instance would be 1000x worse. If she's old enough to really think about it I'd say at least hear your daughter out because you can bet if she gets older and finds out her father wanted to see her at anytime and you denied that she'll take it out on you even if he still is a ? person. -
Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ?
She has met him, but she has not seen him since she's been of an age where she might understand who he is..
I'm worried because why stir all this up just to be out again?
Why mess up what we got going and confuse her when I know it's most likely temporary?
I always want him to have access to his daughter which is why he has my number, but I'm worried for her.
He seems to be oblivious to all that.
Does he call to speak to her - or it's just y'all that talk ?
Maybe he truly wants to get to know her now.
No, and we don't even talk. This is the first time I've heard from him in a year and a half.
And even as we're texting, he never asked about her, never asked for a pic..but he was quick to ask if me and HIS daughter could meet him at a Subway.
He just doesn't get it...and I can't make him get it.
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i know a couple ? who be having kids, and be wanting to see them on a whim but ain't bout that long term daddy life....
? be unnecessarily ridiculous on the momma part...cuz she want to see a ? be there for his kids... but know damn well he ain't gonna keep that ? up.....so she gotta look like a ? when he on some "i feel like it today" ?
i think the chicks who have no problem being that ? be winning though.....the ones who scared to be a ? be making their lives much more difficult than it need to be -
Kat, only thing he brings is baggage and you don't need that.If he's gone a year n half with no contact with you or his daughter, let him be. He's just a sperm donor.
Sometimes you just gotta be real about situations. No father disappears for extended periods of time for no reason. -
I don't get the "let him see his daughter" angle...
not saying he don't have rights, but he obviously a scumbag if he hasn't reached out before today...
don't put your daughter through that confusion unnecessarily...
I bet this will end in drama because only a lowlife would pop up out of the blue like lets go to Subway... -
Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ?
She has met him, but she has not seen him since she's been of an age where she might understand who he is..
I'm worried because why stir all this up just to be out again?
Why mess up what we got going and confuse her when I know it's most likely temporary?
I always want him to have access to his daughter which is why he has my number, but I'm worried for her.
He seems to be oblivious to all that.
It's understandable you're worried for her but part of allowing her to get to know her father is taking that risk of him leaving again. There's really no way around it. You can't develop a relationship with someone, friend, parent, other w/o risking being hurt. It's just unfortunately the hurt in this instance would be 1000x worse. If she's old enough to really think about it I'd say at least hear your daughter out because you can bet if she gets older and finds out her father wanted to see her at anytime and you denied that she'll take it out on you even if he still is a ? person.
She's only 6.
I wish she were older so she could understand. I'm just hesitant to even open that can of worms when he has a history of being flighty.
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ThirdEyeFive wrote: »I don't get the "let him see his daughter" angle...
not saying he don't have rights, but he obviously a scumbag if he hasn't reached out before today...
don't put your daughter through that confusion unnecessarily...
I bet this will end in drama because only a lowlife would pop up out of the blue like lets go to Subway...
i wanna see fathers be there for their kids too.....but this ? sound like one of those
"let me prove to myself i ain't a complete loser"
type ? -
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Yead id see what his angle is for an extended period of time on some chit chat ? think of it as an interview process..
You should be like ok and bring his ass a picture of your daughter id keep her out of it til..idk -
He wants ? , obviously. Thats the answer anytime a woman ask "what does he want"
In addition he wants you to know u aint ? but a 6 inch Italian light banana peppers. -
ThirdEyeFive wrote: »I don't get the "let him see his daughter" angle...
not saying he don't have rights, but he obviously a scumbag if he hasn't reached out before today...
don't put your daughter through that confusion unnecessarily...
I bet this will end in drama because only a lowlife would pop up out of the blue like lets go to Subway...
i wanna see fathers be there for their kids too.....but this ? sound like one of those
"let me prove to myself i ain't a complete loser"
type ?
either that or he just tryna smash on Kat again. -
playmaker88 wrote: »Yead id see what his angle is for an extended period of time on some chit chat ? think of it as an interview process..
You should be like ok and bring his ass a picture of your daughter id keep her out of it til..idk
You're trying to get Kat kidnapped
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I didnt lreally mean meet him..send him one possibly and keep him at arms length
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Like Du alluded to, this a pretty big crossroads. Are you gonna move forward with her knowing him here n there, or are you prepared to never have her meet him. If shes 6,7, thats nothin in the grand scheme of things. She's still young. But if you dont do it now, it gets more complicated and the effects last longer for her as an adult. B/c around 8 or so kids 'get it', and theres a huge diff betwen a kid's brain at 7 vs 9, or 8 vs 10, etc.
Huge decison. Good thing you have he IC here to help guide you... -
ThirdEyeFive wrote: »I don't get the "let him see his daughter" angle...
not saying he don't have rights, but he obviously a scumbag if he hasn't reached out before today...
don't put your daughter through that confusion unnecessarily...
I bet this will end in drama because only a lowlife would pop up out of the blue like lets go to Subway...
i wanna see fathers be there for their kids too.....but this ? sound like one of those
"let me prove to myself i ain't a complete loser"
type ?
either that or he just tryna smash on Kat again.
lol, kat posting pics on facebook....
this ? looking at them like
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See I think it's about ? too, but he ain't had this ? since I was early in my pregnancy.
We even stayed with him for a minute after Hurricane Ike and he still didn't get any ? .
So surely he's not still thinking he can get it. -
He is a shiftless ? , don't bring your daughter around him until she is an adult. She don't need to be around that niggerish ? saying let's go to subway because obviously he is poor and cannot provide. He should pay child support for his niggadry.
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Ok, if I understand this correctly - your daughter has never met him ?
Don't you think she should.
Also, ya' man shouldn't factor in to whether or not ya' daughter knows her father. It might be late but that's still her dad.
What u worried 'bout ?
She has met him, but she has not seen him since she's been of an age where she might understand who he is..
I'm worried because why stir all this up just to be out again?
Why mess up what we got going and confuse her when I know it's most likely temporary?
I always want him to have access to his daughter which is why he has my number, but I'm worried for her.
He seems to be oblivious to all that.
Does he call to speak to her - or it's just y'all that talk ?
Maybe he truly wants to get to know her now.
No, and we don't even talk. This is the first time I've heard from him in a year and a half.
And even as we're texting, he never asked about her, never asked for a pic..but he was quick to ask if me and HIS daughter could meet him at a Subway.
He just doesn't get it...and I can't make him get it.
I lean towards not standing in the way. Maybe it's because I can only imagine how many MFs was putting negativity in my BM's ear when I was tryin' to connect with my kid.
Especially if there's no threat of physical harm from him. -
You should just steer clear of the guy. Makes no sense to start ? when he's just going to be absent until he feels he's ready again.
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u know what he's about yet u entertaining the thought? y?
smarten up kat... -
handle this ? very carefully, he seems kinda like a weasel. Can you trust yourself to be around him and not have something "accidentally" happen? no disrespect as I don't know you or him, but dude wants something and it's not looking like it's a relationship with his daughter.
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ThirdEyeFive wrote: »u know what he's about yet u entertaining the thought? y?
smarten up kat...
makes me think she still has feelings about the guy, some how some way it's in the back of her mind and she doesn't wanna ? up what's good now -
ThirdEyeFive wrote: »u know what he's about yet u entertaining the thought? y?
smarten up kat...
people can change though. And when it comes to a father being in a child's life its worth putting thought into. But u have to be smart about it or it.makes the situation worse.ThirdEyeFive wrote: »u know what he's about yet u entertaining the thought? y?
smarten up kat...
makes me think she still has feelings about the guy, some how some way it's in the back of her mind and she doesn't wanna ? up what's good now
Katt...i hope this aint the case lol... -
ThirdEyeFive wrote: »u know what he's about yet u entertaining the thought? y?
smarten up kat...
makes me think she still has feelings about the guy, some how some way it's in the back of her mind and she doesn't wanna ? up what's good now
they always do
