For all my people here that DON'T have children.

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  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you
  • Plutarch
    Plutarch Members Posts: 3,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    SimplyKrys wrote: »
    Are you glad that you made it to the age you currently are without having any?

    Absolutely. 28 and single with no kids. Love my freedom, probably more than I should, but it's an important part of my happiness.

    Nothing against those with kids, like some of my old friends. Yes, some of them are miserable, but some of them are happy.
    SimplyKrys wrote: »
    Do you plan on ever having any? If not then why not?

    I'm neutral to having kids. I'm sure having kids is a wonderful thing, but I would need a few more years to be in an ideal position to sufficiently provide for them and raise them right.

    I would also need a good woman, because I'd rather be married before I have kids. And for me, anything other than a good woman means getting married for stupid reasons and being miserable. So getting married is another issue.

    But honestly, I'm straight. I'm not afraid of being alone and sometimes prefer it, and when I am alone, I'm not lonely. If it happens, cool. If not, cool. I'm not stressing. I'm looking forward to my future regardless.

    The only thing I have to deal with is the annoying-ass pressure from my family and friends and the women who want to play me as their one-way ticket to the easy life.
    SimplyKrys wrote: »
    Also I don't see myself having anymore than 2 children.

    Same. My old folks stopped at two as well. I constantly thank them for it. Anything more and my life probably would've been a lot more stressful. I do envy big families though.
  • CapitalB
    CapitalB Members Posts: 24,556 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    Goat'd for the bold!! hahaha
  • shit happens
    shit happens Members Posts: 10,739 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    This ? chea is a trip
  • Undefeatable
    Undefeatable Members Posts: 1,970 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I am getting more concerned, to be honest. My sisters have kids, and their kids know and grew up around their grandparents. Since my parents are getting up there age-wise, I have started to worry that my parents won't know my future kids (should I have any, as I eventually want to). Not something I thought about when I was younger, but I do think about it now.
  • CapitalB
    CapitalB Members Posts: 24,556 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I am getting more concerned, to be honest. My sisters have kids, and their kids know and grew up around their grandparents. Since my parents are getting up there age-wise, I have started to worry that my parents won't know my future kids (should I have any, as I eventually want to). Not something I thought about when I was younger, but I do think about it now.

    flagged but didnt read..

    please do not breed ? .
  • ineedpussy
    ineedpussy Members Posts: 7,252 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    blackrain wrote: »
    Kai wrote: »
    blackrain wrote: »
    Kai wrote: »
    to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

    lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

    There's a bunch of ? in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. ? if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.

    i have never talked down on anyone choosing to be a parent. all i am expressing is when i think of all that time and energy spent on those things, they do not seem desirable or enjoyable in any way to me. it's like a visceral reaction in me. that's how i know i don't want kids, everything in me screams no at the thought of it.

    my work life is something that actually does bring me joy. i can see how it would be someone else's worse nightmare to be in a lab all day or doing tedious research, but it makes me happy. i know if i had kids, i'd fall way behind and i'd rather dedicate my time to that than to having kids. on a sidenote, i really could up and walk away from any job whenever i wanted since my man supports me and i really only work/go to school for my own fulfillment.

    maybe i've gotten to used to only having to do what i want in my life, iunno, i consider that a blessing. but my days are my work, taking care of my man then spend the rest of my free time in peace and quiet and how i want to. i think my life is perfect and i have no need or desire to change it in anyway.

    As I said it's good when people recognize they do not want and would not make a good parent. It's not something for everyone just like many other things in life. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. As far as walking away from your job, I didn't say you couldn't. I simply used the example of having to tell your job in advance when you plan to not be there to the what you were saying about kids being a problem in terms of how you plan out things in your life. We all have things in life we have to plan around whether that be a career or an actual person/s. Very few people's lives revolve solely around themselves. You may be able to up and leave your job, but could you just up and roll out of town w/o telling your husband? Would you not have to plan that out in advance? Do decisions you make not involve him and how they would affect him as well? And you may not think you're talking down on people who are parents but the things you've said before such as wondering if people really enjoy their kids because they do something such as ask for a babysitter so they can go out for a night...things like that just seems like a reach for a reason to say someone doesn't really enjoy being a parent as much as they say. Your life is not solely your own as much as you think simply because you don't have a kid of your own is the ultimate point of what I was trying to convey.

    my ? she cant up and jus leave the house either..
    SHE GOT CATS AND DOGS!!

    in fact..
    she cant stay gone too long even if she did jus up and leave.. she got cats and dogs!

    she may not have kids naggin and lookin for attention.. but she got cats and dogs.
    she may not have to change ? diapers and feed a cryin baby.. but she got cats and dogs. lmmfao

    everything she stated outside of she dont want kids is null and void.

    At least with kids.... I don't have to go out in the rain when the gotta ?

    so you dont house train or "train" your pets
  • Copper
    Copper Members Posts: 49,532 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    blackrain wrote: »
    Kai wrote: »
    blackrain wrote: »
    Kai wrote: »
    to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

    lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

    There's a bunch of ? in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. ? if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.

    i have never talked down on anyone choosing to be a parent. all i am expressing is when i think of all that time and energy spent on those things, they do not seem desirable or enjoyable in any way to me. it's like a visceral reaction in me. that's how i know i don't want kids, everything in me screams no at the thought of it.

    my work life is something that actually does bring me joy. i can see how it would be someone else's worse nightmare to be in a lab all day or doing tedious research, but it makes me happy. i know if i had kids, i'd fall way behind and i'd rather dedicate my time to that than to having kids. on a sidenote, i really could up and walk away from any job whenever i wanted since my man supports me and i really only work/go to school for my own fulfillment.

    maybe i've gotten to used to only having to do what i want in my life, iunno, i consider that a blessing. but my days are my work, taking care of my man then spend the rest of my free time in peace and quiet and how i want to. i think my life is perfect and i have no need or desire to change it in anyway.

    As I said it's good when people recognize they do not want and would not make a good parent. It's not something for everyone just like many other things in life. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. As far as walking away from your job, I didn't say you couldn't. I simply used the example of having to tell your job in advance when you plan to not be there to the what you were saying about kids being a problem in terms of how you plan out things in your life. We all have things in life we have to plan around whether that be a career or an actual person/s. Very few people's lives revolve solely around themselves. You may be able to up and leave your job, but could you just up and roll out of town w/o telling your husband? Would you not have to plan that out in advance? Do decisions you make not involve him and how they would affect him as well? And you may not think you're talking down on people who are parents but the things you've said before such as wondering if people really enjoy their kids because they do something such as ask for a babysitter so they can go out for a night...things like that just seems like a reach for a reason to say someone doesn't really enjoy being a parent as much as they say. Your life is not solely your own as much as you think simply because you don't have a kid of your own is the ultimate point of what I was trying to convey.

    my ? she cant up and jus leave the house either..
    SHE GOT CATS AND DOGS!!

    in fact..
    she cant stay gone too long even if she did jus up and leave.. she got cats and dogs!

    she may not have kids naggin and lookin for attention.. but she got cats and dogs.
    she may not have to change ? diapers and feed a cryin baby.. but she got cats and dogs. lmmfao

    everything she stated outside of she dont want kids is null and void.

    At least with kids.... I don't have to go out in the rain when the gotta ?

    Thats the bar....really?
  • mohamed
    mohamed Members Posts: 1,299 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Copper wrote: »
    mohamed wrote: »
    Nah I'm 30 and don't have kids but I do want some eventually. Had one scare at 19 and knew I wasn't ready. Call me selfish but I like my freedom and I'm not forcing a kid just to say I have one.

    Well according to the anti contraceptive brigade in here you want lose any freedom and kids require very minimal amount of maintenance


    I guess it's all subjective, but I value the freedom of not having the EVERY DAY worries and responsibilities that come with a child.




  • kzzl
    kzzl Members Posts: 7,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2017
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    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you

    You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that ? requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

    It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a ? that's always speaking on the bad choices, ? up priorities, and bad investments ? make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
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    I'm glad I had my son when I did


    Never wanted to be the old lady mom at the elementary school lol
  • Stew
    Stew Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 52,234 Regulator
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    kzzl wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you

    You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that ? requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

    It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a ? that's always speaking on the bad choices, ? up priorities, and bad investments ? make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

    Its easy for him to say cause he's well off, at least by his post in many other threads. Thats not normal.
  • MallyG
    MallyG Members Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2017
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    Copper wrote: »
    EmM HoLLa. wrote: »
    texas409 wrote: »
    Im just waiting on marriage. I know too many of the homies with baby mama problems and I dont want my child going through that. And im not cool with the ready made families these women already have

    All kidding aside, A ready made family is not that bad.

    You can splurge out of control on the baby daddies child support checks.
    I mean she probably wasting it on herself anyway.
    Poor kid don't know the difference between Apple Jacks and Apple Jackson's.

    If all else fails, you can dip out and do you...take all the freebies you acquired during your stay.... win win.

    also these ? in here complainin about todays women not realizing alot of these single mothers got they wakeup call after having a child..

    the woman they lookin for has all the qualities they lookin for outside of the fact they have a child..

    ? really out here lookin for diamonds in the rough..
    and sorry to say if u aint shinning ? u bout as unrealistic as these ? out here lookin for Mr Perfect..

    Ga damn this ? just said some ? .


    Probably the realest ? you ever posted..


    AMEN and AMEN!

    Boss just found his assistant ?

    [img]http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2779760/mike-epps-? -dance-o.gif[/img]


    MARIO_DRO wrote: »
    Ajackson17 wrote: »
    I'm 32 and I do not have any kids. I'm happy I don't because I have freedom in my life, but one day.

    ...WELL TECHNICALLY, U GOTTA GET ? TO HAVE KIDS... SO STOP ACTING LIKE ITS A CHOICE FOR U










    dnldl5dq5lfi.gif

  • Lurkristocrat
    Lurkristocrat Members Posts: 8,378 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Beta wrote: »
    Beta wrote: »
    I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.

    ? ? me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"

    First off, You wasnt going anyways

    Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault

    Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output

    The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. ? like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol

    Bruh, that ? a 35 year old roommate. He not thinking bout kids anytime soon lol.
  • Lurkristocrat
    Lurkristocrat Members Posts: 8,378 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Wait....how u a roommate in Atlanta? Dont one bedroom apts go for like 400 out there?
  • Lurkristocrat
    Lurkristocrat Members Posts: 8,378 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    aneed123 wrote: »
    I'm 35 I want kids but was doing it the "right" way.. it'd a blessing and a curse. I want my folks to have grandkids but I see how my friends struggle with child support and stress with baby momas... I may just say ? it soon tho and bite the bullet lol

    Bet money yo kid gon be whoopin yo ass and eating the big piece of steak by the time he turn 16 lmao.
  • Lurkristocrat
    Lurkristocrat Members Posts: 8,378 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kai wrote: »
    i just like my life the way it is, it's that simple. and my husband and i don't feel like we're missing anything. especially with my step-son finishing h/s, i can't imagine starting all over again. i just never had the urge for kids, my husband doesn't want anymore either. kids take a lot of energy. i know whenever i watch my friends or family's kids for a couple of days, i'm so ready for them to go home. why do kids get up so damn early on the weekends? like take your ass back to sleep, it's 6 in the morning lol

    Give the step son some ? as a parting gift before he goes to college tho
  • 5onblackhandside
    5onblackhandside Members Posts: 2,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    i wouldn't want my kids to look like me, so i aint having any
  • Max.
    Max. Members Posts: 33,009 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    AP21 wrote: »
    Max. wrote: »
    I told this in another thread


    My friend met his wife(now ex) in a bar...they dated...she got pregnant...he felt he had to marry her...a year later than break up she takes the kid...he pays $1100 in alimony and $800 just to see his kid 1 hour supervision...the ? lied n told a judge hes a abusive ? n they took her word.....he so stressed he goes to a counselor...

    thats his fault for getting a ? lawyer

    He barely getn one..had to sell his car
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    ineedpussy wrote: »
    blackrain wrote: »
    Kai wrote: »
    blackrain wrote: »
    Kai wrote: »
    to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

    lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

    There's a bunch of ? in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. ? if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.

    i have never talked down on anyone choosing to be a parent. all i am expressing is when i think of all that time and energy spent on those things, they do not seem desirable or enjoyable in any way to me. it's like a visceral reaction in me. that's how i know i don't want kids, everything in me screams no at the thought of it.

    my work life is something that actually does bring me joy. i can see how it would be someone else's worse nightmare to be in a lab all day or doing tedious research, but it makes me happy. i know if i had kids, i'd fall way behind and i'd rather dedicate my time to that than to having kids. on a sidenote, i really could up and walk away from any job whenever i wanted since my man supports me and i really only work/go to school for my own fulfillment.

    maybe i've gotten to used to only having to do what i want in my life, iunno, i consider that a blessing. but my days are my work, taking care of my man then spend the rest of my free time in peace and quiet and how i want to. i think my life is perfect and i have no need or desire to change it in anyway.

    As I said it's good when people recognize they do not want and would not make a good parent. It's not something for everyone just like many other things in life. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. As far as walking away from your job, I didn't say you couldn't. I simply used the example of having to tell your job in advance when you plan to not be there to the what you were saying about kids being a problem in terms of how you plan out things in your life. We all have things in life we have to plan around whether that be a career or an actual person/s. Very few people's lives revolve solely around themselves. You may be able to up and leave your job, but could you just up and roll out of town w/o telling your husband? Would you not have to plan that out in advance? Do decisions you make not involve him and how they would affect him as well? And you may not think you're talking down on people who are parents but the things you've said before such as wondering if people really enjoy their kids because they do something such as ask for a babysitter so they can go out for a night...things like that just seems like a reach for a reason to say someone doesn't really enjoy being a parent as much as they say. Your life is not solely your own as much as you think simply because you don't have a kid of your own is the ultimate point of what I was trying to convey.

    my ? she cant up and jus leave the house either..
    SHE GOT CATS AND DOGS!!

    in fact..
    she cant stay gone too long even if she did jus up and leave.. she got cats and dogs!

    she may not have kids naggin and lookin for attention.. but she got cats and dogs.
    she may not have to change ? diapers and feed a cryin baby.. but she got cats and dogs. lmmfao

    everything she stated outside of she dont want kids is null and void.

    At least with kids.... I don't have to go out in the rain when the gotta ?

    so you dont house train or "train" your pets

    obviously they are trained...an that's why they wait to be taken to the bathroom..


    smdh
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    kzzl wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you

    You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that ? requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

    It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a ? that's always speaking on the bad choices, ? up priorities, and bad investments ? make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

    calm down ? .

    what I am saying..like I always say is ur never financially ready for kids. that's being financially ready for marraige.

    if you have no savings... a big wedding won't be an option. but if you have $100k saved...you might have a big wedding.

    there are not many financially responsible people...who would make the same decision no matter how much they have.

    so simply you can't put a price tag on children.

    as far as that other ? you talking about...you should maybe look a little deeper....um nit as surface as you think to make a statement like that.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Stew wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you

    You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that ? requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

    It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a ? that's always speaking on the bad choices, ? up priorities, and bad investments ? make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

    Its easy for him to say cause he's well off, at least by his post in many other threads. Thats not normal.

    what's not normal?

    I wouldn't say I'm well off...I'm cool. but I did it while I had kids. that's my point.

    kids don't stop anything unless you allow it.

    y'all ? sound like a woman the won't go to college cuz she got a baby.

    you will do what you want when you want. some people may need an excuse to get out of what they really didn't want to do.

    just some people understand they have kids but must do better.

    if you don't want kids... its as simple as you just don't want them. or not ready. anything else you will have to adapt to.

    I never heard someone say....after this next check. we ready to have kids.

    I'm not trynna talk anyone unto having them...I'm just saying the reasoning is flawed when it should just be simple.
  • Stew
    Stew Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 52,234 Regulator
    edited March 2017
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    Beta wrote: »
    Beta wrote: »
    I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.

    ? ? me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"

    First off, You wasnt going anyways

    Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault

    Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output

    The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. ? like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol

    Bruh, that ? a 35 year old roommate. He not thinking bout kids anytime soon lol.

    This ? worry about my living situation more than anybody I know. Pathetic, ? and unusual.
  • Stew
    Stew Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 52,234 Regulator
    Options
    Stew wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you

    You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that ? requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

    It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a ? that's always speaking on the bad choices, ? up priorities, and bad investments ? make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

    Its easy for him to say cause he's well off, at least by his post in many other threads. Thats not normal.

    what's not normal?

    I wouldn't say I'm well off...I'm cool. but I did it while I had kids. that's my point.

    kids don't stop anything unless you allow it.

    y'all ? sound like a woman the won't go to college cuz she got a baby.

    you will do what you want when you want. some people may need an excuse to get out of what they really didn't want to do.

    just some people understand they have kids but must do better.

    if you don't want kids... its as simple as you just don't want them. or not ready. anything else you will have to adapt to.

    I never heard someone say....after this next check. we ready to have kids.

    I'm not trynna talk anyone unto having them...I'm just saying the reasoning is flawed when it should just be simple.

    You living above the household medium while u had kids was never the point here, pretty sure having kids motivates people to work harder to get to a point where it's no longer an issue. This was never an argument. Somehow u made it like that without being "hindered" by your kids, cool that's u, almost positive that's not the norm, at least from my perspective from all of the family and friends that I know that have a kid(s). At some point it was like, "damn I can't do this or that cause I have to pay for this for my kid or I don't wanna leave my child with this person for that long" these are all facts that I witnessed with my own eyes. U may call that "allowing it to happen cause of your child", I call it being apart of having a child, sacrificing some things for your child. Some people don't wanna go through that part.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Options
    Stew wrote: »
    Stew wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    kzzl wrote: »
    T. Sanford wrote: »
    I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

    your never financially stable for kids....

    the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

    a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

    so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

    so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

    it all boils down to perspective...


    but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

    When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

    As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible ? to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

    "If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

    all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

    you have no idea the things that can drain you

    You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that ? requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

    It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a ? that's always speaking on the bad choices, ? up priorities, and bad investments ? make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

    Its easy for him to say cause he's well off, at least by his post in many other threads. Thats not normal.

    what's not normal?

    I wouldn't say I'm well off...I'm cool. but I did it while I had kids. that's my point.

    kids don't stop anything unless you allow it.

    y'all ? sound like a woman the won't go to college cuz she got a baby.

    you will do what you want when you want. some people may need an excuse to get out of what they really didn't want to do.

    just some people understand they have kids but must do better.

    if you don't want kids... its as simple as you just don't want them. or not ready. anything else you will have to adapt to.

    I never heard someone say....after this next check. we ready to have kids.

    I'm not trynna talk anyone unto having them...I'm just saying the reasoning is flawed when it should just be simple.

    You living above the household medium while u had kids was never the point here, pretty sure having kids motivates people to work harder to get to a point where it's no longer an issue. This was never an argument. Somehow u made it like that without being "hindered" by your kids, cool that's u, almost positive that's not the norm, at least from my perspective from all of the family and friends that I know that have a kid(s). At some point it was like, "damn I can't do this or that cause I have to pay for this for my kid or I don't wanna leave my child with this person for that long" these are all facts that I witnessed with my own eyes. U may call that "allowing it to happen cause of your child", I call it being apart of having a child, sacrificing some things for your child. Some people don't wanna go through that part.

    right....i get where your coming from. not sayung it's not true. but the common thing I see...Is people making other peoples decisions sway their decision making.

    Like with what you just said...to hear someone make it seem like they have to sacrifice because the kif needs something... that's that persons poor planning or selfishness.thats not your reality and you may raise your child completely different to never allow it to come to " sacrificing" for your child. that puts something negative on it. an you inturn hear the negative.

    even with alot of money...a selfish person will make things seem like a sacrifice.

    a person like @kzzl may just want things to be as close to perfect as possible or be able to provide a certain level of comfort... that's just not being ready yet. but when you think about all the things that can go wrong...that's something else along the lines of bring afraid of not being a good parent.
    both are fine and ok to feel like that, just be honest about it and keep it simple. all the other stuff is fluff

    but anyway....the people I know where not hindered by kids....those ? was lazy before kids. now they have an excuse.

    can i say having kids stopped fun sometimes....yep
    but so did work, a sick wife, a sick dog. things gonna happen.

    i just think ? should keep it 100